MISS  CAYLEY'S  ADVENTURES 


"Y  ■■!• 


MISS  CAYLEY'S 
ADVENTURES 


BY 

GRANT  ALLEN 


WIT  1  EIGHTY  ILLUSTRATIONS  BY  (jORDON  BROWNE 


THIRD    IMPRESSION 


G.  P.  PUTNAM'S  SONS 

NEW  YORK  &  LONDON 

^be  ■RiUchcibocker  press 

1899 


AUTHORIZED  EDITION 


First  Edition  printed  May,  1899 

Reprinted  July,  1899 

Reprinted  August,  1899 


Vbe  Itnickerboclier  press,  Dew  JiJorli 


CONTENTS 


CHAPTER 

I.— Thk 

II.— Thk 

III.— Thk 

IV.— Thk 

v.— Thk 

VI.— Thk 

VII.— Thk 

VIII.— Thk 

IX.— Thk 

X.— Thk 

XI.— Thk 

XII.— The 


Adventure  of 
Adventurk  of 
Adventure  of 
Adventure  of 
Advknturk  of 
Advkntukk  of 
Adventure  of 
Adventure  of 
Adventure  of 
Adventure  of 
Adventure  of 
Adventure  of 


PAGR 

THE  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  .  i 

THE   SUI'ERCILIOUS   AtTACH£       .  .  3I 

THE  Inquisitive  American      .  .  62 

THE  Amateur  Commission  Aoent  .  8g 

the  Imi'romi'tu   Mountaineer  .  120 

THE  Urkane  Old  Gentleman  .  147 

THE  Unobtrusive  Oasis  .        .  .177 

THE    PKA-(iRKEN    PaTRICIAN         .  .  207 

THE  Macnificknt  Maharajah  .  232 

THE  Cross-Eykd  Q.  C.       .         .  .  263 

THE  Oriental  Attendant       .  .  293 

THE  Unprofessional  Detective  .  318 


111 


ILLUSTRATIONS 


"Am,  Anor,  to  Teach  the  Higher  Mathematics"    Frontispiece 
"I  AM  Going  Out,  Simply  in  Search  ok  Adventure  "     . 
"Oui,  Madame;  Merci   Beaucoup,  Madame"    . 
"Excuse  Me,"  I   Said,  "hut   I   Think  I  See  a  Way   out  ok 

Your  Difkiculty" 

A  Most  Urbane  and  Obliging  Continental  Gentleman 
"Persons  of  Miladi's  Temperament  Are  Always  Youncj  " 
"That  Succeeds?"  the  Shabby-Looking  Man  Muttered 

I  Put  Her  Hand  Back  Firmly 

He  Cast  a  Hasty  Glance  at  Us 

"Harold,   You  Viper,   What  do  You   Mean  by   Trying  to 

Avoid  Me?" 

"Circumstances  Alter  Cases,"  He  Murmured 

"Miss  Cayley,"  He  Said,  "You  are  Playing  with  Me" 

I  Rose  of  a  Sudden,  and  Ran  Down  the  Hill 

"I  was  Going  to  Oppose  You  and  Harold"    . 

He  Kept  Close  at  My  Heels 

I  was  Pulled  up  Short  by  a  Mounted  Policeman  . 

"Seems  I  didn't  Make  Much  of  a  Job  of  it" 

"Don't  Scorch,  Miss;  don't  Scorch"        .... 

"IIow  far  Ahead  the  First  Man?" 

"I  Am  Here  behind  You,  Herr  Lieutenant". 

"Let  Them  Boom  or  Bust  on  it" 

His  Open  Admiration  was  Getting  quite  Embarrassing 
Minute  Inspection 


PAGE 

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25 
32 

37 

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45 
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66 

f'7 
6y 

82 
86 
87 

QO 

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lOI 


VI 


Illustrations 


I  Felt  a  Pkrfect  Littlk  IlYi'ocRiTE 

She  Invited  Elsie  and  Myself  to  Stop  with  Her  . 

The  Count 

I  Thought  it  Kinder  to  Him  to  Remove  it  Ai.tocether 

Inch  hyInch  He  Retreated 

"Never  Leave  a  House  to  the  Servanis,   My  Dear!" 

"I  MAY  Stay,  mayn't  I?" 

I  Advanced  on  My  Hands  and   Knees  to   the  Edge  of  the 

Precii'ice 

I  Grii'I'ed  the  Rope  and  Let  Myself  Down 

"I  Rolled  and  Slid  Down" 

I  Flung  Myself  Wildly  on  My  Bed. 

"There's  Enterprise  for  You!" 

Paintinc;  the  Sign-Bijard      .... 

The  Urhane  Old  Gentleman 

He  Went  on  Dictating  for  Just  an  Hour 

He  Bowed  to  Each  of  Us  Separately 

I  Waited,  Breathless 

"What,  You  Here!"  He  Cried. 

He  Read  Them,  Cruel  Man,  hefore  My  Very  Eyes 

" 'T  IS  Dr.  Maclogiilen,"  He  Answered    .... 

Too  Much  Nile . 

Emphasis 

Riding  a  Camel  does  not  Greatly  Dh'Fer  from  Sea-Sickness 

Her  Agitation  Was  Evident 

Crouching  hy  the  Rocks  Sat  Our  Mysterious  Stk an(;er 

An  Odd-Looking  Young  Man 

He  Turned  to  Me  with  an  Inane  Smile  ..... 
Nothing  Seemed  to  Put  the  Man  Down  .... 
"Yah  don't  Catch  Me  Going  so  fah  from  Newmarket" 
"Wasn't  Era  Diavolo  also  a  Composah?" 
"Take  My  Word  for   it.  You're,  Staking   Your    Money  on 

THE  Wrong  Fellah" 

"I  Am  the  Maharajah  of  Moozuffernuogar" 

"Who's  Your  Black  Friend?" 

"A  Tiger  Hunt  Is  nut  a  Thing  to  he  Got  up  Lightly" 


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1 84 
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230 
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Illustrations 


Vll 


It  Went  off  Unexi'ectkdi.y 

I  Saw  Him  Now  the  Oriental  Desi'ot 

"It's  1  Who  Am  the  Winnah  " 

He  Wrote,  "  I  Exi'Ect  You  to  Come  Back   to  Enclano 

Marry  Me" 

It  Was  Endlessly  Weakisome 

'I'liE  Cross-Eyei)  Q.  C.   Beoced  Him  to  he  very  Carefui 

I  Was  a  ("iRotesqie  Failure 

The  Jury  Smiled 

"The  Question  Reql'ires  n<j  Answer,"  He  Said 

I  Reeled  Where  I  Sat 

The  Messenger  Entered 

He  Took  a  Lono,  Careless  Stare  at  Me 

I  Beckoned  a  Porter    

"You  can't  Get  Out  Here,"  He  Said,  Ckustilv     . 

We  Told  Our  Tale 

"I  HAVE  Found  a  Clue" 

"I've  Held  the  Fort  by  Main  Force"    . 
"Never!"  He  Answered,  "Never!" 
"We  shall  Have  Him  in  Our  Power" 

Victory 

"You  Wished  to  See  Me,  Sir?"         .... 
"Well,  This  Is  a  Fair  Knock-Out, "  He  Ejaculated 
"Harold,  Your  Wife  has  Bested  Me"     . 


and 


I'AGE 
256 

261 

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2yl 
2</i 

304 
3()() 

3o<J 
31' 
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MISS  CAYLEY'S  ADVENTURES 


CHAPTER  I 


THE   ADVENTURE   OF  THE   CANTANKEROUS  OLD   I.ADY 


ON  the  day  when  I  found  myself  with  twopence  in  my 
pocket,  I  naturally  made  up  my  mind  to  go  round 
the  world. 
It  was  my  stepfather's  death  that  drove  me  to  it.  I  had 
never  seen  my  stepfather.  Indeed,  I  never  even  thought 
of  him  as  anything  more  than  Colonel  Watts- Morgan.  I 
owed  him  nothing,  except  my  poverty.  He  married  my 
dear  mother  when  I  was  a  girl  at  school  in  Switzerland  ;  and 
he  proceeded  to  spend  her  little  fortune,  left  at  her  sole  dis- 
posal by  my  father's  will,  in  paying  his  gambling  debts. 
After  that,  he  carried  my  dear  mother  off  to  Burma  ;  and 
when  he  and  the  climate  between  them  had  succeeded  in 
killing  her,  he  made  up  for  his  appropriations  at  the  cheapest 
rate  by  allowing  me  just  enough  to  send  me  to  Girton.  So, 
when  the  Colonel  died,  in  the  year  I  was  leaving  college,  I 
did  not  think  it  necessary  to  go  into  mourning  for  him, 
especially  as  he  chose  the  precise  moment  when  my  allow- 


2  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

ance  was  due,  and  bequeathed  me  nothing  but  his  consoli- 
dated liabilities. 

"  Of  course  you  will  teach,"  said  Elsie  Petheridge,  when 
I  explained  my  affairs  to  her.  ' '  There  is  a  good  demand 
just  now  for  high-school  teachers." 

I  looked  at  her,  aghast.  ''Teach/  Elsie,"  I  cried.  (I 
had  come  up  to  town  to  settle  her  in  at  her  unfurnished 
lodgings.)  * '  Did  you  say  tcac/i  ?  That 's  just  like  you  dear 
good  schoolmistresses  !  You  go  to  Cambridge,  and  get  ex- 
amined till  the  heart  and  life  have  been  examined  out  of 
you  ;  then  you  say  to  yourselves  at  the  end  of  it  all,  '  Let 
me  see  ;  what  am  I  good  for  now  ?  I  'm  just  about  fit  to  go 
away  and  examine  other  people  !  '  That  's  what  our  Prin- 
cipal would  call  *  a  vicious  circle  ' — if  one  could  ever  admit 
there  was  anything  vicious  at  all  about  you,  dear.  No, 
Elsie,  I  do  not  propose  to  teach.  Nature  did  not  cut  me  out 
for  a  high-school  teacher.  I  could  n't  swallow  a  poker  if  I 
tried  for  weeks.  Pokers  don't  agree  with  me.  Between 
ourselves,  I  am  a  bit  of  a  rebel." 

"  You  are.  Brownie,"  she  answered,  pausing  in  her  paper- 
ing, with  her  sleeves  rolled  up — they  called  me  "  Brownie," 
partly  because  of  ni)'^  dark  complexion,  but  partly  because 
they  could  never  understand  me.  "  We  all  knew  that  long 
ago." 

I  laid  down  the  paste-brush  and  mused. 

"  Do  you  remember,  Elsie,"  I  said,  staring  hard  at  the 
paper-board,  "  when  I  first  went  to  Girton,  how  all  you  girls 
wore  your  hair  quite  straight,  in  neat  smooth  coils,  plaited 
up  at  the  back  about  the  size  of  a  pancake  ;  and  how  of  a 
sudden  I  burst  in  upon  you,  like  a  tropical  hurricane,  and 
demoralised  you  ;  and  how,  after  three  days  of  me,  some  of 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  3 

the  dear  innocents  began  with  awe  to  cut  themselves  artless 
fringes,  while  others  went  out  in  fear  and  trembling  and  sur- 
reptitiously purchased  a  pair  of  curling-tongs  ?  I  was  a 
bomb-shell  in  your  midst  in  those  days  ;  why,  you  yourself 
were  almost  afraid  at  first  to  speak  to  me." 

"  You  see,  you  had  a  bicycle,"  Elsie  put  in,  smoothing 
the  half-papered  wall  ;  "  and  in  those  days,  of  course,  ladies 
did  n't  bicycle.  You  must  admit,  Brownie,  dear,  it  7c>as  a 
startling  innovation.  You  terrified  us  so.  And  yet,  after 
all,  there  is  n't  much  harm  in  you." 

"  I  hope  not,"  I  said  devoutly.  "  I  was  before  my  time, 
that  was  all  ;  at  present,  even  a  curate's  wife  may  blame- 
lessly bicycle." 

"  But  if  you  don't  teach,"  Elsie  went  on,  gazing  at  me 
with  those  wondering  big  blue  eyes  of  hers,  "  what  ever  will 
you  do.  Brownie?"  Her  horizon  was  bounded  by  the 
scholastic  circle. 

"  I  have  n't  the  faintest  idea,"  I  answered,  continuing  to 
paste.  "  Only,  as  I  can't  trespass  upon  your  elegant  hospi- 
tality for  life,  whatever  I  mean  to  do,  I  must  begin  doing 
this  morning,  when  we  've  finished  the  papering.  I  could  n't 
teach  "  (teaching,  like  mauve,  is  the  refuge  of  the  incompe- 
tent) ;  "  and  I  don't,  if  possible,  want  to  sell  bonnets." 

"As  a  milliner's  girl  ?  "  Elsie  asked,  with  a  face  of  red 
horror. 

"  As  a  milliner's  girl  ;  why  not  ?  'T  is  an  honest  calling. 
Earls'  daughters  do  it  now.  But  you  need  n't  look  so 
shocked.  I  tell  you,  just  at  present,  I  am  not  contemplating 
it." 

"  Then  what  do  you  contemplate  ?  " 

I  paused  and  reflected.     "I  am  here  in  London,"  I  an- 


4  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

swered,  gazing  rapt  at  the  ceiling  ;  "  London,  whose  streets 
are  paved  with  gold — though  it  looks  at  first  sight  like  muddy 
flagstones  ;  London,  the  greatest  and  richest  city  in  the 
world,  where  an  adventurous  soul  ought  surely  to  find  some 
loophole  for  an  adventure.  (That  piece  is  hung  crooked, 
dear  ;  we  shall  have  to  take  it  down  again.)  I  devise  a 
Plan,  therefore.  I  submit  myself  to  fate  ;  or,  if  you  prefer 
it,  I  leave  my  future  in  the  hands  of  Providence.  I  shall 
stroll  out  this  morning,  as  soon  as  I  've  '  cleaned  myself,' 
and  embrace  the  first  stray  enterprise  that  offers.  Our  Bag- 
dad teems  with  enchanted  carpets.  Let  one  but  float  my 
way,  and,  hi  !  presto  !  I  seize  it.  I  go  where  glory  or  a 
modest  competence  waits  me.  I  snatch  at  the  first  offer, 
the  first  hint  of  an  opening." 

Elsie  stared  at  me,  more  aghast  and  more  puzzled  than 
ever.  "  But  how  ?  "  she  asked.  "  Where  ?  When  ?  You 
are  so  strange  !     What  will  you  do  to  find  one  ?  " 

"  Put  on  my  hat  and  walk  out,"  I  answered.  "  Nothing 
could  be  simpler.  This  city  bursts  with  enterprises  ana 
surprises.  Strangers  from  east  and  west  hurry  through  it 
in  all  directions.  Omnibuses  traverse  it  from  erd  to  end, 
even,  I  am  told,  to  Islington  and  Putney  ;  within,  tolk  sit 
face  to  face  who  never  saw  one  another  before  in  their  lives, 
and  who  may  never  see  one  another  again,  or,  on  the  con- 
trary, may  pass  the  rest  of  their  days  together." 

I  had  a  lovely  harangue  all  pat  in  my  head,  in  much  the 
same  strain,  on  the  infinite  possibilities  of  entertaining  angels 
unawares,  in  cabs,  on  the  Underground,  in  the  Aerated 
Bread  shops  ;  but  Elsie's  widening  eyes  of  horror  pulled  me 
up  short,  like  a  hansom  in  Piccadilly  when  the  inexorable 
upturned  hand  of  the  policeman  checks  it.     ' '  Ob,  Brownie" 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  5 

she  cried,  drawing  back,  "  you  don' t  mean  to  tell  me  you  're 
going  to  ask  the  first  young  man  you  meet  in  an  omnibus  to 
marry  you  ?  " 

I  shrieked  with  laughter.     "  Elsie,"  I  cried,  kissing  her 
dear  yellow  little  head,  "  you  are  impayable.     You  never 


I   AM   GOING   OUT,    SIMPLY    IN    SEARCH    OF   ADVENIURE. 


will  learn  what  I  mean.  You  don't  understand  the  lan- 
guage. No,  no  ;  I  am  going  out,  simply  in  search  of  ad- 
venture. What  adventure  may  come,  I  have  not  at  this 
moment  the  faintest  conception.  The  fun  lies  in  the  search, 
the  uncertainty,  the  toss-up  of  it.  What  is  the  good  of  being 
penniless — with  the  trifling  exception  of  twopence — unless 


6  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

you  are  prepared  to  accept  your  position  in  the  spirit  of  a 
masked  ball  at  Covent  Garden  ?  " 

"  I  have  never  been  to  one,"  Elsie  put  in. 

"  Gracious  heavens,  neither  have  I  !  What  on  earth  do 
you  take  me  for  ?  But  I  mean  to  see  where  fate  will  lead 
me." 

"  I  may  go  with  j^ou  ?  "  Elsie  pleaded. 

"  Certainly  not^  my  child,"  I  answered — she  was  three 
years  older  than  I,  so  I  had  the  right  to  patronise  her. 
"  That  would  spoil  all.  Your  dear  little  face  would  be  quite 
enough  to  scare  away  a  timid  adventure."  She  knew  what 
I  meant.     It  was  gentle  and  pensive,  but  it  lacked  initiative. 

So,  when  we  had  finished  that  wall,  I  popped  on  my  best 
hat,  and  popped  out  by  myself  into  Kensington  Gardens. 

I  am  told  I  ought  to  have  been  terribly  alarmed  at  the 
straits  in  which  I  found  myself — a  girl  of  twenty-one,  alone 
in  the  world,  and  only  twopence  short  of  penniless,  without 
a  friend  to  protect,  a  relation  to  counsel  her.  (I  don't  count 
Aunt  Susan,  who  lurked  in  ladylike  indigence  at  Black 
heath,  and  whose  counsel,  like  her  tracts,  was  given  away 
too  profusely  to  everybody  to  allow  of  one's  placing  any  very 
high  value  upon  it.)  But,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  I  must  admit 
I  was  not  in  the  least  alarmed.  Nature  had  endowed  me 
with  a  profusion  of  crisp  black  hair,  and  plenty  of  high 
spirits.  If  my  eyes  had  been  like  Elsie's — that  liquid  blue 
which  looks  out  upon  life  with  mingled  pity  and  amazement 
— I  might  have  felt  as  a  girl  ought  to  feel  under  such  con- 
ditions ;  but  having  large  dark  ej^es,  with  a  bit  of  a  twinkle 
in  them,  and  being  as  well  able  to  pilot  a  bicycle  as  any  girl 
of  my  acquaintance,  I  have  inherited  or  acquired  an  outlook 
on  the  world  which  distinctly  leans  rather  towards  cheeriness 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  7 

than  despondency.  I  croak  with  difficulty.  So  I  accepted 
my  plight  as  an  amusing  experience,  affording  full  scope  for 
the  congenial  exercise  of  courage  and  ingenuity. 

How  boundless  are  the  opportunities  of  Kensington  Gar- 
dens— the  Round  Pond,  the  winding  Serpentine,  the  mys- 
terious seclusion  of  the  Dutch  brick  Palace  !  Genii  swarm 
there.  One  jostles  possibilities.  It  is  a  land  of  romance, 
bounded  on  the  north  by  the  Abyss  of  Bayswater,  and  on 
the  south  by  the  Amphitheatre  of  the  Albert  Hall.  But  for 
a  centre  of  adventure  I  chose  the  Long  Walk  ;  it  beckoned 
me  somewhat  as  the  North- West  Passage  beckoned  my  sea- 
faring ancestors — the  buccaneering  mariners  of  Elizabethan 
Devon.  I  sat  down  on  a  chair  at  the  foot  of  an  old  elm  with 
a  poetic  hollow,  prosaically  filled  by  a  utilitarian  plate  of 
galvanised  iron.  Two  ancient  ladies  were  seated  on  the 
other  side  already — very  grand-looking  dames,  with  the 
haughty  and  exclusive  ugliness  of  the  English  aristocracy 
in  its  later  stages.  For  frank  hideousness,  commend  me  to 
the  noble  dowager.  They  were  talking  confidentially  as  I 
sat  down  ;  the  trifling  episode  of  my  approach  did  not  suffice 
to  stem  the  full  stream  of  their  conversation.  The  great 
ignore  the  intrusion  of  their  inferiors. 

"  Yes,  it  's  a  terrible  nuisance,"  the  eldest  and  ugliest 
of  the  two  observed — she  was  a  high-born  lady,  with  a  dis- 
tinctly cantankerous  cast  of  countenance.  She  had  a  Roman 
nose,  and  her  skin  was  wrinkled  like  a  wilted  apple  ;  she 
wore  coffee-coloured  point-lace  in  her  bonnet,  with  a  com- 
plexion to  match.  "  But  what  could  I  do,  my  dear?  I 
simply  couldn't  put  up  with  such  insolence.  So  I  looked  her 
straight  back  in  the  face — oh,  she  quailed,  I  can  tell  you — 
and  I  said  to  her  in  my  iciest  voice — you  know  how  icy  I 


8 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


can  be  when  occasion  demands  it" — the  second  old  lady 
nodded  an  nngrndginj;  assent,  as  if  perfectly  prepared  to  ad- 
mit her  friend's  rare  gift  of  iciness — "  I  said  to  her,  '  Ccles- 
tine,  you  can  take  your  month's  wages,  and  half  an  hour  to 


**oui,  maoamk;  MF.RCI  BKAUrorP,  madamk. 

get  out  of  this  house.'  And  she  dropped  me  a  deep  rever- 
ence, and  she  answered  :  '  Qui,  viadavic ;  vicrci  beaucoup, 
viadame ;  jc  ne  disirc  pas  micux,  viadamc'  And  out  .she 
flounced.     So  there  was  the  end  of  it." 

"  Still,  3'ou  go  to  Schlangenbad  on  Monday  ?  " 

"  That  's  the  point.     On  Monday.     If  it  were  n't  for  the 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  9 

journe)',  I  should  have  been  glad  enough  to  be  rid  of  the 
minx.  I  'm  glad  as  it  is,  indeed  ;  for  a  more  insolent,  up- 
standing, independent,  answer-you-back-again  j-oung  wo- 
man, with  a  sneer  of  her  own,  /never  saw,  Amelia — but  I 
must  get  to  Schlangenbad.  Now,  there  the  difficulty  comes 
in.  On  the  one  hand,  if  I  engage  a  maid  in  London,  I  have 
the  choice  of  two  evils.  Either  I  must  take  a  trapesing 
Knglish  girl — and  I  know  by  experience  that  an  English  girl 
on  the  Continent  is  a  vast  deal  worse  than  no  maid  at  all  : 
yotr  have  to  wait  upon  Iwr,  instead  of  her  waiting  upon  j'ou  ; 
she  gets  seasick  on  the  crossing,  and  when  she  reaches 
France  or  Germany,  she  hates  the  meals,  and  she  detests 
the  hotel  servants,  and  she  can't  speak  the  language,  vSo  that 
she  's  always  calling  you  to  interpret  for  her  in  her  private 
differences  with  i\\Q  fillc-dc-cliafnbrc  Si\\6.  the  landlord  ; — or  else 
I  must  pick  up  a  French  maid  in  London,  and  I  know  equally 
by  experience  that  the  French  maids  one  engages  in  London 
are  invariabl}-  dishonest — more  dishonest  than  the  rest  even  ; 
they  've  come  here  because  they  have  no  character  to  speak 
of  elsewhere,  and  they  think  you  are  n't  likely  to  write  and 
enquire  of  their  last  mistress  in  Toulouse  or  St.  Petersburg, 
Then,  again,  on  the  other  hand,  I  can't  wait  to  get  a  Gret- 
chen,  an  unsophisticated  little  Gretchen,  of  the  Taunus  at 
Schlangenbad — I  suppose  there  are  unsophisticated  girls  in 
Germany  still — made  in  Germany — they  don't  make  'em 
any  longer  in  England,  I  'm  sure — like  everything  else, 
the  trade  in  rustic  innocence  has  been  driven  from  the 
country.  I  can't  wait  to  get  a  Gretchen,  as  I  should  like  to 
do,  of  course,  because  I  simply  dare  n't  undertake  to  cross  the 
Channel  alone  and  go  all  that  long  journey  by  Ostend  or 
Calais,  Brussels  and  Cologne,  to  Schlangenbad." 


lo  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  You  could  get  a  temporary  maid,"  her  friend  suggested, 
in  a  lull  of  the  tornado. 

The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  flared  up.  "  Yes,  and  have 
ray  jewel-case  stolen  !  Or  find  she  was  an  English  girl  with- 
out one  word  of  German.  Or  nurse  her  on  the  boat  when  I 
want  to  give  my  undivided  attention  to  my  own  misfortunes. 
No,  Amelia,  I  call  it  positively  unkind  of  you  to  suggest 
such  a  thing.  You  're  so  unsympathetic  !  I  put  my  foot 
down  there.     I  will  Jioi  take  any  temporary  person." 

I  saw  my  chance.  This  was  a  delightful  idea.  Why  not 
start  for  Schlangenbad  with  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  ? 

Of  course,  I  had  not  the  slightest  intention  of  taking  a 
lady's-maid's  place  for  a  permanency.  Nor  even,  if  it  comes 
to  that,  as  a  passing  expedient.  But  t/ 1  wanted  to  go  round 
the  world,  how  could  I  do  better  than  set  out  by  the  Rhine 
country  ?  The  Rhine  leads  you  on  to  the  Danube,  the 
Danube  to  the  Black  Sea,  the  Black  Sea  to  Asia  ;  and  so  by 
way  of  India,  China,  and  Japan,  you  reach  the  Pacific  and 
San  Francisco  ;  whence  one  returns  quite  easily  by  New 
York  and  the  White  Star  Liners.  I  began  to  feel  like  a 
globe-trotter  already  ;  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  was  the 
thin  end  of  the  wedge — the  first  rung  of  the  ladder  !  I  pro- 
ceeded to  put  my  foot  on  it. 

I  leaned  around  the  corner  of  the  tree  and  spoke.  ' '  Ex- 
cuse me,"  I  said,  in  my  suavest  voice,  "  but  I  think  I  see  a 
way  out  of  your  difficulty." 

My  first  impression  was  that  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady 
would  go  off  in  a  fit  of  apoplexy.  She  grew  purple  in  the 
face  with  indignation  and  astonishment,  that  a  casual  out- 
sider should  venture  to  address  her  ;  so  much  so,  indeed, 
that  for  a  second  I  almost  regretted  my  well-meant  interpo- 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady 


II 


sitioii.  Then  she  scanned  me  up  and  down,  as  if  I  were  a 
girl  in  a  mantle  shop,  and  she  contemplated  buj-ing  either 
me  or  the  mantle.  At  last,  catching  my  eye,  she  thought 
better  of  it,  and  burst  out  laughing. 

"  What  do  you  mean  by  this  eavesdropping  ?  "  she  asked. 


EXCUSE  ME,"  I  SAID,  "  BUT  I  THINK  I  SEE  A  WAY  OUT  OF  YOUR  DIFFICULTY. 


I  flushed  up  in  turn.  "  This  is  a  public  place,"  I  replied, 
with  dignity  ;  "  and  you  spoke  in  a  tone  which  was  hardly 
designed  for  the  strictest  privacy.  If  you  don't  wish  to  be 
overheard,  you  ought  n't  to  shout.  Besides,  I  desired  to  do 
you  a  service. ' ' 

The  Cantankerous  Old  I^ady  regarded  me  once  more  from 


12  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

head  to  foot.  I  did  not  quail.  Then  she  turned  to  her  com- 
panion. "  The  girl  has  spirit,"  she  remarked,  in  an  encour- 
aging tone,  as  if  she  were  discussing  some  absent  person. 
"  Upon  my  word,  Amelia,  I  rather  like  the  look  of  her. 
Well,  my  good  woman,  what  do  you  want  to'  suggest  to 
me?" 

"  Merely  this,"  I  replied,  bridling  up  and  crushing  her. 
"  I  am  a  Girton  girl,  an  officer's  daughter,  no  more  a  good 
woman  than  most  others  of  my  class  ;  and  I  have  nothing  in 
particular  to  do  for  the  moment.  I  don't  object  to  going  to 
Schlangenbad.  I  would  convoy  you  over,  as  companion,  or 
lady-help,  or  anything  else  you  choose  to  call  it  ;  I  would 
remain  with  you  there  for  a  week,  till  you  could  arrange 
with  your  Gretchen,  presumably  un.sophisticated  ;  and  then 
I  would  leave  you.  Salary  is  unimportant  ;  my  fare  suffices. 
I  accept  the  chance  as  a  cheap  opportunity  of  attaining 
Schlangenbad." 

The  yellow- faced  old  lady  put  up  her  long-handled  tortoise- 
shell  eyeglasses  and  inspected  me  all  over  again.  "  Well,  I 
declare,"  she  murmured.  "  What  are  girls  coming  to,  I 
wonder  ?  Girton,  you  say  ;  Girton  !  That  place  at  Cam- 
bridge !  You  speak  Greek,  of  course  ;  but  how  about  Ger- 
man ?  " 

"  lyike  a  native,"  I  answered,  with  cheerful  promptitude, 
'*  I  was  at  school  in  Canton  Berne  ;  it  is  a  mother  tongue  to 


me. ' ' 


"  No,  no,"  the  old  lady  went  on,  fixing  her  keen  small 
eyes  on  my  mouth.  "  Those  little  lips  could  never  frame 
themselves  to  '  schlccht '  or  '  ivundcrschbn  '  ;  they  were  not 
cut  out  for  it." 

"  Pardon  me,"  I  answered,  in  German.     "  What  I  .say, 


■.^),\<:-  :> 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  13 

that  I  mean.  The  uever-to-be-forgotten  music  of  the  Father- 
land's-speech  has  on  my  infant  ear  from  the  first-beginning 
impressed  itself. ' ' 

The  old  lady  laughed  aloud. 

"  Don't  jabber  it  to  me,  child,"  she  cried.  "  I  hate  the 
lingo.  It  's  the  one  tongue  on  earth  that  even  a  pretty 
girl's  lips  fail  to  render  attractive.  You  yourself  make 
faces  ovei  it.     What  's  your  name,  young  woman  ?  " 

"LoisCayley." 

"  Lois  !  JV/mf  a  name  !  I  never  heard  of  any  Lois  in  my 
life  before,  except  Timothy's  grandmother.  Vou  're  not 
anybody's  grandmother,  are  you  ?  " 

"  Not  to  my  knowledge,"  I  answered,  gravely. 

She  burst  out  laughing  again. 

"  Well,  3'ou  '11  do,  I  think,"  she  said,  catching  my  arm. 
"  That  big  mill  down  yonder  has  n't  ground  the  originality 
altogether  out  of  you.  I  adore  originality.  It  was  clever 
of  you  to  catch  at  the  suggestion  of  this  arrangement.  Lois 
Cayley,  you  say  ;  any  relation  of  a  madcap  Captain  Cayley 
whom  I  used  once  to  know,  in  the  Forty-second  High- 
landers ?  " 

"  His  daughter,"  I  answered,  flushing,  for  I  was  proud 
of  my  father. 

"  Ha  !  I  remember  ;  he  died,  poor  fellow  ;  he  was  a  good 
soldier — and  his  "—I  felt  she  was  going  to  say  "  his  fool  of 
a  widow,"  but  a  glance  from  me  quelled  her — "  his  widow 
went  and  married  that  good-looking  scapegrace,  Jack  Watts- 
Mcft-gan.  Never  marry  a  man,  my  dear,  with  a  double- 
barrelled  name  and  no  visible  means  of  subsistence  ;  above 
all,  if  he  's  generally  known  by  a  nickname.  So  you  're 
poor  Tom  Cayley 's  daughter,  are  you  ?     Well,  well,  we  can 


14  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

settle  this  little  matter  between  us.  Mind,  I  'ni  a  person 
who  always  expects  to  have  my  own  way.  If  you  come 
with  me  to  Schlangenbad,  you  must  do  as  I  tell  you." 

**  I  think  I  could  manage  it — for  a  week,"  I  answered, 
den-  irely. 

She  smiled  at  my  audacity.  We  passed  on  to  terms. 
They  were  quite  satisfactory.  She  wanted  no  references. 
"  Do  I  look  like  a  woman  who  cares  about  a  reference? 
What  are  called  characters  are  usually  essays  in  how  not  to 
say  it.  You  take  my  fancy  ;  that  's  the  point  !  And  poor 
Tom  Cayley  !     But,  mind,  I  will  not  he  contradicted." 

"  I  will  not  contradict  your  wildest  misstatement,"  I  an- 
swered, smiling. 

"  And  your  name  and  address?  "  I  asked,  after  we  had 
settled  preliminaries. 

A  faint  red  spot  rose  quaintly  in  the  centre  of  the  Can- 
tankerous Old  Lady's  sallow  cheek.  "  My  dear,"  she  mur- 
mured, "  my  name  is  the  one  thing  on  earth  I  'm  really 
ashamed  of.  My  parents  chose  to  inflict  upon  me  the  most 
odious  label  that  human  ingenuity  ever  devised  for  a  Chris- 
tian soul  ;  and  I  've  not  had  courage  enough  to  burst  out 
and  change  it." 

A  gleam  of  intuition  flashed  across  me.  "You  don't 
mean  to  say,"  I  exclaimed,  "  that  you  're  called  Geor- 
gina  ?  " 

The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  gripped  my  arm  hard. 
**  What  an  unusually  intelligent  girl  !  "  she  broke  in. 
"  How  on  earth  did  you  guess  ?     It  is  Georgina." 

"Fellow-feeling,"  I  answered.  "  So  is  mine,  Georgina 
Lois.  But  as  I  quite  agree  with  you  as  to  the  atrocity  of 
such  conduct,  I  have  suppressed  the  Georgina.     It  ought  to 


'  ■•    ■*, 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  15 

be  made  penal  to  send  innocent  girls  into  the  world  so 
burdened." 

"  My  opinion  to  a  T  !  You  are  really  an  exceptionally 
sensible  young  woman.  There  's  my  name  and  address  ;  I 
start  on  Monday." 

I  glanced  at  her  card.  The  very  copperplate  was 
noisy.  "  L,ady  Georgina  Fawley,  49  Fortescue  Crescent, 
W."     ' 

It  had  taken  us  twenty  minutes  to  arrange  our  protocols. 
As  I  walked  off,  well  pleased,  Lady  Georgina's  friend  ran 
after  me  quickly. 

"  You  must  take  care,"  she  said,  in  a  warning  voice. 
"  You  've  caught  a  Tartar." 

"  So  I  suspect,"  I  answered.  "  But  a  week  in  Tartary 
will  be  at  least  an  experience." 

"  She  has  an  awful  temper." 

"  That  's  nothing.  So  have  I.  Appalling,  I  assure  you. 
And  if  it  comes  to  blows,  I  'm  bigger  and  younger  and 
stronger  than  she  is." 

"  Well,  I  wish  you  well  out  of  it." 

"  Thank  you.  It  is  kind  of  you  to  give  me  this  warning. 
But  I  think  I  can  take  care  of  myself  I  come,  you  see,  of  a 
military  family." 

I  nodded  my  thanks,  and  strolled  back  to  Elsie's.  Dear 
little  Elsie  was  in  transports  of  surpirse  when  I  related  my 
adv^enture. 

"  Will  you  really  go?  And  what  will  you  do,  my  dear, 
when  you  get  there  ?  " 

"  I  have  n't  a  notion,"  I  answered  ;  "  that  's  where  the 
fun  comes  in.     But,  anyhow,  I  .shall  have  got  there." 

"  Oh,  Brownie,  you  might  starve  !  " 


■-■^ 


1 6  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  And  I  might  starve  in  London.  In  either  place,  I  have 
only  two  hands  and  one  head  to  help  nie. ' ' 

"  But  then,  here  you  are  among  friends.  You  might  stop 
with  me  forever." 

I  kissed  her  fluffy  forehead.  ' '  You  good,  generous  little 
Elsie  !  "  I  cried  ;  "  I  won't  stop  here  one  moment  after  I  have 
finished  the  painting  and  papering.  I  came  here  to  help 
you.  I  could  n't  go  on  eating  j'our  hard-earned  bread  and 
doing  nothing.  I  know  how  sweet  you  are  ;  but  the  last 
thing  I  want  is  to  add  to  your  burdens.  Now  let  us  roll  up 
our  sleeves  again  and  hurry  on  with  the  dado." 

"  But,  Brownie,  you  '11  want  to  be  getting  your  own  things 
ready.     Remember,  you  '  re  off"  to  Germany  on  Monday. ' ' 

I  shrugged  my  shoulders.  'T  is  a  foreign  trick  I  picked 
up  in  Switzerland.  "  What  have  I  got  to  get  ready  ?  "  I 
asked.  "  I  can't  go  out  and  buy  a  complete  summer  outfit 
in  Bond  Street  for  twopence.  Now,  don't  look  at  me  like 
that  :  be  practical,  Elsie,  and  let  me  help  you  paint  the 
Jado."  For  unless  I  helped  her,  poor  Elsie  could  never 
have  finished  it  herself.  I  cut  out  half  her  clothes  for  her  ; 
her  own  ideas  were  almost  entirely  limited  to  differential 
calculus.  And  cutting  out  a  blouse  by  differential  calculus 
is  weary,  uphill  work  for  a  high-school  teacher. 

By  Monday  I  had  papered  and  furnished  the  rooms,  and 
was  ready  to  start  on  my  voyage  o^  exploration.  I  met  the 
Cantankerous  Old  Lady  at  Charing  Cross,  by  appointment, 
and  proceeded  to  take  charge  of  her  luggage  and  tickets. 

Oh  my,  how  fussy  she  was  !  * '  You  will  drop  that  basket  ! 
I  hope  you  have  got  through  tickets,  via  Malines,  nol  by 
Brussels — I  won't  go  by  Bru.ssels.  You  have  to  change 
there.      Now,   mind  you   notice  how   much   the   luggage 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  17 

weighs  in  English  pounds,  and  make  the  man  at  the  office 
give  you  a  note  of  it  to  check  those  horrid  Belgian  porters. 
They  '11  charge  you  for  double  the  weight,  unless  you  reduce 
it  at  once  to  kilogrammes.  /  know  their  ways.  Foreigners 
have  no  consciences.  They  just  go  to  the  priest  and  con- 
fess, 5'ou  know,  and  wipe  it  all  out,  and  start  fresh  again  on 
a  career  of  crime  next  morning.  I  'm  sure  I  don't  know 
why  I  ever  go  abroad.  The  only  country  in  the  world  fit  to 
live  in  is  England.  No  mosquitoes,  no  passports,  no — good- 
ness gracious,  child,  don't  let  that  odious  man  bang  about 
my  hat-box  !  Have  you  no  immortal  soul,  porter,  that  you 
crush  other  people's  property  as  if  it  was  black-beetles  ?  No, 
I  will  not  let  you  take  this,  Lois  ;  this  is  my  jewel-box — it 
contains  all  that  remains  of  the  Fawley  family  jewels.  I 
positively  decline  to  appear  at  Schlangenbad  without  a  dia- 
mond to  my  back.  This  never  leaves  my  hands.  It 's  hard 
enough  nowadays  to  keep  body  and  skirt  together.  Have 
you  secured  that  coupe  at  Ostend  ?  " 

We  got  into  our  first-class  carriage.  It  was  clean  and 
comfortable  ;  but  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  made  the 
porter  mop  the  floor,  and  fidgeted  and  worried  till  we  slid 
out  of  the  station.  Fortunately,  the  only  other  occupant  of 
the  compartment  was  a  most  urbane  and  obliging  Continental 
gentleman — I  say  Continental,  because  I  could  n't  quite  make 
out  whether  he  was  French,  German,  or  Austrian — who  was 
anxious  in  every  way  to  meet  Lady  Georgina's  wishes.  Did 
madame  desire  to  have  the  window  open  ?  Oh,  certainly, 
with  pleasure  ;  the  day  was  so  sultry.  Closed  a  little  more  ? 
Parfaitetnejit,  that  was  a  current  of  air,  il  faut  Vadmertre. 
Madame  would  prefer  the  corner  ?  No  ?  Then  perhaps  she 
would  like  this  valise  for  a  footstool  ?    Permeates— just  thus. 


i8 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


A  cold  draught  runs  so  often  along  the  floor  in  railway  car- 
riages. This  is  Kent  that  we  traverse  ;  ah,  the  garden  of 
England  !  As  a  diplomat,  he  knew  every  nook  of  Europe, 
and  he  echoed  the  mot  he  had  accidentally  heard  drop  from 


A  MOST   URUANE   AND   OBLIGING  CONTINENTAL   GENTLEMAN. 

madame's  lips  on  the  platform  :  no  country  in  the  world  so 
delightful  as  England  ! 

"Monsieur  is  attached  to  the  Embassy  in  I^ondon  ?  " 
Lady  Georgina  inquired,  growing  affable. 

He  twirled  his  grey  moustache — a  waxed  moustache  of 
great  distinction.  "  No,  madanie  ;  I  have  quitted  the  diplo- 
matic service  ;  I  inhabit  Eondon  now  pour  mo?i  agrement. 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  19 

Some  of  my  compatriots  call  it  tristc  ;  for  me,  I  find  it  the 
most  fascinating  capital  in  Europe.  What  gaiety  !  What 
movement  !     What  poetry  !     What  mystery  !  " 

"  If  mystery  means  fog,  it  challenges  the  world,"  I  inter- 
posed. 

He  gazed  at  me  with  fixed  eyes.  "  Yes,  mademoiselle," 
he  answered,  in  quite  a  different  and  markedly  chilly  voice. 
*'  Whatever  your  great  country  attempts — were  it  only  a  fog 
— it  achieves  consummately." 

I  have  quick  intuitions.  I  felt  the  foreign  gentleman  took 
an  instinctive  dislike  to  me. 

To  make  up  for  it,  lit;  talked  nuich,  and  with  animation, 
to  Lady  Georgina.  They  ferreted  out  friends  in  common, 
and  were  as  much  surprised  at  it  as  people  always  are  at  that 
inevitable  experience. 

' '  Ah  j^es,  madame,  I  recollect  him  well  in  Vienna.  I  was 
there  at  the  time,  attached  to  our  Legation.  He  was  a 
charming  man.  You  read  his  masterly  paper  on  the  Central 
Problem  of  the  Dual  Empire  ?  " 

"  You  were  in  Vienna  then  !  "  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady 
mused  back.  "Lois,  my  child,  don't  stare" — she  had 
covenanted  from  the  first  to  call  me  Lois,  as  my  father's 
daughter,  and  I  confess  I  preferred  it  to  being  Miss  Cayley'd. 
**  We  must  surely  have  met.  Dare  I  ask  your  name, 
monsieur  ?  ' ' 

I  could  see  the  foreign  gentleman  was  delighted  at  this 
turn.  He  had  played  for  it,  and  carried  his  point.  He 
meant  her  to  ask  him.  He  had  a  card  in  his  pocket,  con- 
veniently close  ;  and  he  handed  it  across  to  her.  She  read 
it,  and  passed  it  on  :  "  M.  le  Comte  de  Laroche-sur-Loiret." 

"  Oh,  I  remember  your  name  well,"   the  Cantankerous 


20  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

Old  I^ady  broke  in.  "  I  think  you  knew  my  husband,  Sir 
Evelyn  Fawley,  and  my  father,  Lord  Kynaston." 

The  Count  looked  profoundly  surprised  and  delighted. 
"  What  !  you  are  then  Lady  Georgina  Fawley  !  "  he  cried, 
striking  an  attitude.  "  Indeed,  miladi,  your  admirable  hus- 
band was  one  of  the  very  first  to  exert  his  influence  in  my 
favour  at  Vienna.  Do  I  recall  him,  cc  chcr^xx  Evelyn  ?  If 
I  recall  him  !  What  a  fortunate  rencounter  !  I  must  have 
seen  you  some  years  ago  at  Vienna,  miladi,  though  I  had  not 
then  the  great  pleasure  of  making  your  acquaintance.  But 
j'our  face  had  impressed  itself  on  my  sub-conscious  self!  " 
(I  did  not  learn  till  later  that  the  esoteric  doctrine  of  the 
sub-conscious  self  was  Lady  Georgina's  favourite  hobby.) 
"  The  moment  chance  led  me  to  this  carriage  this  morning, 
I  said  to  myself,  '  That  face,  those  features  :  so  vivid,  so 
striking  :  I  have  seen  them  somewhere.  With  what  do  I 
connect  them  in  the  recesses  of  my  memory  ?  A  high-bora 
family  ;  genius  ;  rank  ;  the  diplomatic  service  ;  some  un- 
nameable  charm  ;  some  faint  touch  of  eccentricity.  Ha!  I 
have  it.  Vienna,  a  carriage  with  footmen  in  red  livery,  a 
noble  presence,  a  crowd  of  wits — poets,  artists,  politicians — 
pressing  eagerly  round  the  landau.'  That  was  my  mental 
picture  as  I  sat  and  confronted  you  ;  I  understand  it  all 
now  ;  this  is  Lad}'  Georgina  Faw     y  !  " 

I  thought  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady,  who  was  a  shrewd 
person  in  her  way,  must  surely  see  through  this  obvious 
patter ;  but  I  had  under-estimated  the  average  human 
capacity  for  swallowing  flattery.  Instead  of  dismissing  his 
fulsome  nonsense  with  a  contemptuous  smile,  Lady  Georgina 
perked  herself  up  with  a  conscious  air  of  coquetry,  and  asked 
for  more.     "  Yes,  they  were  delightful  days  in  Vienna,"  she 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  2 1 

said,  .simpering  ;  "  I  was  young  then,  Count  ;  I  enjoyed  life 
with  a  zest." 

"  Persons  of  miladi's  temperament  are  always  young," 
the  Count  retorted,  glibly,  leaning  forward  aud  gazing  at 


PERSONS  OF   MILADIS   TEMPERAMENT    ARE  ALWAYS  YOUNG, 


her.  "  Growing  old  is  a  foolish  habit  of  the  stupid  and  the 
vacant.  Men  and  women  of  esprit  are  never  older.  One 
learns  as  one  goes  on  in  life  to  admire,  not  the  obvious 
beauty  of  mere  youth  and  health  " — he  glanced  across  at  me 
disdainfully — "  but  the  profounder  beauty  of  deep  character 
in  a  face — that  calm  and  serene  beauty  which  is  imprinted 
on  the  brow  by  experience  of  the  emotions." 


22  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  I  have  had  my  iiionients,"  lyady  Georgina  murmured, 
wilh  her  head  on  one  side. 

"  I  beUeveit,  miladi,"  the  Count  answered,  and  ogled  her. 

Thenceforward  to  Dover,  they  talked  together  with  cease- 
less animation.  The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  was  capital 
company.  She  had  a  tang  in  her  tongue,  and  in  the  course 
of  ninety  minutes  she  had  flayed  alive  the  greater  part  of 
London  society,  with  keen  wit  and  sprightliness.  I  laughed 
against  my  will  at  her  ill-tempered  sallies  ;  they  were  too 
funny  not  to  amuse,  in  spite  of  their  vitriol.  As  for  the 
Count,  he  was  charmed.  He  talked  well  himself,  too,  and 
between  them,  I  almost  forgot  the  time  till  we  arrived  at 
Dover. 

It  was  a  very  rough  passage.  The  Count  helped  us  to 
carry  our  nineteen  hand-packages  and  four  rugs  on  board  ; 
but  I  noticed  that,  fascinated  as  she  was  with  him,  Lady 
Georgina  resisted  his  ingenious  efforts  to  gain  possession  of 
her  precious  jewel-case  as  she  descended  the  gangway.  She 
clung  to  it  like  grim  death,  even  in  the  chops  of  the  Channel. 
Fortunately  I  am  a  good  sailor,  and  when  Lady  Georgina's 
sallow  cheeks  began  to  grow  pale,  I  was  steady  enough  to 
supply  her  with  her  shawl  and  her  smelling-bottle.  She 
fidgeted  and  worried  the  whole  way  over.  She  would  be 
treated  like  a  vertebrate  animal.  Those  horrid  Belgians 
had  no  right  to  stick  their  deck-chairs  just  in  front  of  her. 
The  impertinence  of  the  hussies  with  the  bright  red  hair — a 
grocer's  daughters,  she  felt  sure — in  venturing  to  come  and 
sit  on  the  same  bench  with  her — the  bench  "  for  ladies  only," 
under  the  lee  of  the  funnel  !  "  Ladies  only,"  indeed  !  Did 
the  baggages  pretend  they  considered  themselves  ladies  ? 
Oh,  that  placid  old  gentleman  in  the  episcopal  gaiters  was 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  23 

their  father,  was  he  ?  Well,  a  bishop  should  bring  up  his 
daughters  better,  having  his  children  in  subjection  with  all 
gravity.  Instead  of  which — "  Lois,  my  smelling-salts  !" 
This  was  a  beastly  boat  ;  such  an  odour  of  machinery;  they 
had  no  decent  boats  nowadays  ;  with  all  our  boasted  im- 
provements, she  could  remember  well  when  the  cross-Channel 
service  was  much  better  conducted  than  it  was  at  present. 
But  that  was  before  we  had  compulsory  education.  The 
working  classes  were  driving  trade  out  of  the  country,  and 
the  consequence  was,  we  could  n't  build  a  boat  which  did  n't 
reek  like  an  oil-shop.  Even  the  sailors  on  board  were  French 
— jabbering  idiots  ;  not  an  honest  British  Jack-tar  among 
the  lot  of  them ;  though  the  stewards  were  English,  and  very 
inferior  Cockney  English  at  that,  with  their  offhand  ways, 
and  their  School  Board  airs  and  graces.  She  'd  School 
Board  them  if  they  were  her  servants  ;  she  'd  show  them  the 
sort  of  respect  that  was  due  to  people  of  birth  and  education. 
But  the  children  of  the  lower  classes  never  learnt  their  cate- 
chism nowadays  ;  they  were  too  much  occupied  with  litera- 
toor,  jography,  and  free-'and  drawrin'.  Happily  for  my 
nerves,  a  good  lurch  to  leeward  put  a  stop  for  a  while  to  the 
course  of  her  thoughts  on  the  present  distresses. 

At  Ostend  the  Count  made  a  second  gallant  attempt  to 
capture  the  jewel-case,  which  Lady  Georgina  automatically 
repulsed.  She  had  a  fixed  habit,  I  believe,  of  sticking  fast 
to  that  jewel-case  ;  for  she  was  too  overpowered  by  the 
Count's  urbanity,  I  feel  sure,  to  suspect  for  a  moment  his 
honesty  of  purpose.  But  whenever  she  travelled,  I  fancy, 
she  clung  to  her  case  as  if  her  life  depended  upon  it  ;  it  con- 
tained the  whole  of  her  valuable  diamonds. 

We  had  twenty  minutes  for  refreshments  at  Ostend,  during 


24  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

which  interval  my  old  lady  declared  with  warmth  that  I 
must  look  after  her  registered  luggage  ;  though,  as  it  was 
booked  through  to  Cologne,  I  could  not  even  see  it  till  we 
crossed  the  German  frontier  ;  for  the  Belgian  douanicrs  seal 
up  the  van  as  soon  as  the  through  baggage  for  Germany  is 
unloaded.  To  satisfy  her,  however,  I  went  through  the 
formality  of  pretending  to  inspect  it,  and  rendered  myself 
hateful  to  the  head  of  the  douane  by  asking  various  foolish 
and  inept  questions,  on  which  lyady  Georgina  insisted. 
When  I  had  finished  this  silly  and  uncongenial  task — for  I 
am  not  by  nature  fussy,  and  it  is  hard  to  assume  fussiness  as 
another  person's  proxy — I  returned  to  our  coupe  vi\\\Q\\  I  had 
arranged  for  in  London.  To  my  great  amazement,  I  found 
the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  and  the  egregious  Count  com- 
fortably seated  there.  "  Monsieur  has  been  good  enough  to 
accept  a  place  in  our  carriage,"  she  observed,  as  I  entered. 

He  bowed  and  smiled.  "  Or,  rather,  madame  has  been  so 
kind  as  to  offer  me  one,"  he  corrected. 

"  Would  you  like  some  lunch,  Lady  Georgina  ?  "  I  asked, 
in  my  chilliest  voice.  "  There  are  ten  minutes  to  spare,  and 
the  buffet  is  excellent." 

"  An  admirable  inspiration,"  the  Count  murmured. 
*'  Permit  me  to  escort  you,  miladi." 

"  You  will  come,  Lois  ?  "  Lady  Georgina  asked. 

**  No,  thank  you,"  I  answered,  for  I  had  an  idea.  "  I  am 
a  capital  sailor,  but  the  sea  takes  away  my  appetite." 

"  Then  you  '11  keep  our  places,"  she  said,  turning  to  me. 
"  I  hope  you  won't  allow  them  to  stick  in  any  horrid  for- 
eigners !  They  will  try  to  force  them  on  you  unless  you 
insist.  /  know  their  tricky  ways.  You  have  the  tickets,  I 
trust?     And  the  bulletin  for  the  coupi?    Well,  mind  you 


The  Cantankcfous  Old  Lady 


25 


don't  lose  the  paper  for  the  registered  higgage.     Don't  let 
those  dreadful  porters  touch  my  cloaks.     And  if  anybody 
attempts  to  get  in,  be  sure  you  stand  in  front  of  the  door  as 
they  mount  to  prevent  them." 
The  Count  handed  her  out  ;  he  was  all  high  courtly  polite- 


THAT  SUCCKEDS?      TUK  SHABBY- 
LOOKINd   MAN   MUTTERKD. 


ness.  As  Lady  Georgina  descended,  he  made  yet  another 
dexterous  effort  to  relieve  her  of  the  jewel-case.  I  don't 
think  she  noticed  it,  but  automatically  once  more  .she  waved 
him  aside.  Then  she  turned  to  me.  "  Here,  my  dear," 
she  said,  handing  it  to  me,  "  you  'd  better  take  care  of  it. 
If  I  lay  it  down  in  the  dif//it  while  I  am  eating  my  soup, 


26  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

some  rogue  may  run  away  with  it.  But  mind,  don't  let  it 
out  of  your  hands  on  any  account.  Hold  it  so,  on  your 
knee  ;  and,  for  Heaven's  sake,  don't  part  with  it." 

By  this  time  my  suspicions  of  the  Count  were  profound. 
From  the  first  I  had  doubted  him  ;  he  was  so  blandly 
plausible.  But  as  we  landed  at  Ostend  I  had  accidentally 
overheard  a  low,  whispered  conversation  when  he  passed  a 
shabby-looking  man,  who  had  travelled  in  a  second-class 
carriage  from  London.  "That  succeeds?"  the  shabb)'^- 
looking  man  had  muttered  under  his  breath  in  French,  as 
the  haughty  nobleman  with  the  waxed  moustache  brushed 
by  him. 

"  That  succeeds  admirably,"  the  Count  had  answered,  in 
the  same  soft  undertone.     "  p?  reussit  h  nicrvcillc.'" 

I  understood  him  to  mean  that  he  had  prospered  in  his 
attempt  to  impose  on  Lady  Georgina. 

They  had  been  gone  five  minutes  at  the  biiffd,  when  the 
Count  came  back  hurriedly  to  the  door  of  the  coupi  with  a 
nonchalant  air.  "  Oh,  mademoiselle,"  he  said,  in  an  off- 
hand tone,  "  Lady  Georgina  has  sent  me  to  fetch  her  jewel- 
case.  ' ' 

I  gripped  it  hard  with  both  hands.  "  Pardon^  M.  le 
Comte,"  I  answered  ;  "  Lady  Georgina  intrusted  it  to  my 
safe-keeping,  and,  without  her  leave,  I  cannot  give  it  up  to 
any  one." 

"You  mistrust  me?"  he  cried,  looking  black.  "You 
doubt  my  honour  ?  You  doubt  my  word  when  I  say  that 
niiladi  has  sent  me  ?  " 

"  Du  tout,'''  I  answered,  calmly.  "  But  I  have  Lady 
Georgina's  orders  to  stick  to  this  case ;  and  till  Lady 
Georgina  returns  I  stick  to  it." 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  27 

He  murmured  some  indignant  remark  below  his  breath, 
and  walked  off.  The  shabby-looking  passenger  was  pacing 
up  and  down  the  platform  outside  in  a  badly  made  dust-coat. 
As  they  passed  their  lips  moved.  The  Count's  seemed  to 
mutter,  "  C'est  un  coup  manqiiiy 

However,  he  did  not  desist  even  so.  I  saw  he  meant  to 
go  on  with  his  dangerous  little  game.  He  returned  to  the 
buffet  and  rejoined  Lady  Georgina.  I  felt  sure  it  would  be 
useless  to  warn  her,  so  completely  had  the  Count  succeeded 
in  gulling  her  ;  but  I  took  my  own  steps.  I  examined  the 
jewel-case  closely.  It  had  a  leather  outer  covering  ;  within 
was  a  strong  steel  box,  with  stout  bands  of  metal  to  bind  it. 
I  took  my  cue  at  once,  and  acted  for  the  best  on  my  own  re- 
sponsibility. 

When  Lady  Georgina  and  the  Count  returned,  they  were 
like  old  friends  together.  The  quails  in  aspic  and  the  spark- 
ling hock  had  evidently  opened  their  hearts  to  one  another. 
As  far  as  Malines  they  laughed  and  talked  without  ceasing. 
Lady  Georgina  was  now  in  her  finest  vein  of  spleen  ;  her 
acid  wit  grew  sharper  and  more  caustic  each  moment.  Not 
a  reputation  in  Europe  had  a  rag  left  to  cover  it  as  we  steamed 
in  beneath  the  huge  iron  roof  of  the  main  central  junction. 

I  had  observed  all  the  way  from  Ostend  that  the  Count 
had  been  anxious  lest  we  might  have  to  give  up  our  conpi  at 
Malines.  I  assured  him  more  than  once  that  his  fears  were 
groundless,  for  I  had  arranged  at  Charing  Cross  that  it 
should  run  right  through  to  the  German  frontier.  But  he 
waved  me  aside  with  one  lordly  hand.  I  had  not  told  Lady 
Georgina  of  his  vain  attempt  to  take  possession  of  her  jewel- 
case  ;  and  the  bare  fact  of  my  silence  made  him  increasingly 
suspicious  of  me. 


28  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  Pardon  me,  mademoiselle,"  he  said,  coldly  ;  "  you  do 
not  understand  these  lines  as  well  as  I  do.  Nothing  is  more 
common  than  for  those  rascals  of  railway  clerks  to  sell  one  a 
place  in  a  coupe  or  a  tvagon-lit,  and  then  never  reserve  it,  or 
turn  one  out  half-way.  It  is  very  possible  miladi  may  have 
to  descend  at  Malines." 

Lady  Georgina  bore  him  out  by  a  large  variety  of  selected 
stories  concerning  the  various  atrocities  of  the  rival  com- 
panies which  had  stolen  her  luggage  on  her  way  to  Italy. 
As  for  traitis  dc  hixc,  they  were  dens  of  robbers. 

So  when  we  reached  Malines,  just  to  satisfy  Lady  Georgina, 
I  put  out  my  head  and  inquired  of  a  porter.  As  I  antici- 
pated, he  replied  that  there  was  no  change;  we  went  through 
to  Verviers. 

The  Count,  however,  was  still  unsatisfied.  He  descended, 
and  made  some  remarks  a  little  farther  down  the  platform  to 
an  official  in  the  gold-banded  cap  of  a  chcf-de-gare,  or  some 
such  functionary.  Then  he  returned  to  us,  all  fuming. 
"  It  is  as  I  said,"  he  exclaimed,  flinging  open  the  door. 
' '  These  rogues  have  deceived  us.  The  coupe  goes  no  farther. 
You  must  dismount  at  once,  miladi,  and  take  the  train  just 
opposite." 

I  felt  sure  he  was  wrong,  and  I  ventured  to  say  so.  But 
Lady  Georgina  cried,  "  Nonsense,  child  !  The  chef-de-garc 
must  know.  Get  out  at  once  !  Bring  my  bag  and  the  rugs  ! 
Mind  that  cloak  !  Don't  forget  the  sandwich-tin  !  Thanks, 
Count;  will  you  kindly  take  charge  of  my  umbrellas? 
Hurry  up,  Lois  ;  hurry  up  !  the  train  is  just  starting  !  " 

I  scrambled  after  her,  with  my  fourteen  bundles,  keeping 
a  quiet  eye  meanwhile  on  the  jewel-case. 

We  took  our  seats  in  the  opposite  train,  which  I  noticed 


The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  29 

was  marked  "Amsterdam,  Bruxelles,  Paris."  But  I  said 
nothing.  The  Count  jumped  in,  jumped  about,  arranged 
our  parcels,  jumped  out  again.  He  spoke  to  a  porter  ;  then 
he  rushed  back  excitedly.  "  Milk  pardons,  miladi,"  he 
cried.  "  I  find  the  chcf-de-gare  has  cruelly  deceived  me.  You 
were  right,  after  all,  mademoiselle  !  We  must  return  to  the 
coupi!'' 

With  singular  magnanimity,  I  refrained  from  saying,  "  I 
told  you  so. ' ' 

Lady  Georgina,  very  flustered  and  hot  by  this  time,  tum- 
bled out  once  more,  and  bolted  back  to  the  coupe.  Both 
trains  were  just  starting.  In  her  hurry,  at  last,  she  let  the 
Count  take  possession  of  her  jewel-case.  I  rather  fancy  that 
as  he  passed  one  window  he  handed  it  in  to  the  shabby- 
looking  passenger;  but  I  am  not  certain.  At  any  rate,  when 
we  were  comfortably  seated  in  our  own  compartment  once 
more,  and  he  stood  on  the  footboard  j  ust  about  to  enter,  of 
a  sudden  he  made  an  unexpected  dash  back,  and  flung  him- 
self wildly  into  a  Paris  carriage.  At  the  selfsame  moment, 
with  a  piercing  shriek,  both  trains  started. 

Lady  Georgina  threw  up  her  hands  in  a  frenzy  of  horror. 
"  My  diamonds  !  "  she  cried  aloud.  "  Oh,  Lois,  my  dia- 
monds !  " 

"  Don't  distress  yourself,"  I  answered,  holding  her  back, 
or  I  verily  believe  she  would  have  leapt  from  the  train. 
"  He  has  only  taken  the  outer  shell,  with  the  sandwich- 
case  inside  it.  Here  is  the  steel  box  !  "  And  I  produced  it 
triumphantly. 

She  seized  it,  overjoyed.  *'  How  did  this  happen  ?  "  she 
cried,  hugging  it,  for  she  loved  those  diamonds. 

Very  simply,"   I  answered.     "  I  saw  the  man  was  a 


<( 


30 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


rogue,  and  that  he  had  a  confederate  with  him  in  another 
carriage.  So,  while  you  were  gone  to  the  buffet  at  Ostend, 
I  slipped  the  box  out  of  the  case,  and  put  in  the  sandwich- 
tin,  that  he  might  carry  it  off,  and  we  might  have  proofs 
against  him.  All  you  will  have  to  do  now  is  to  inform  the 
conductor,  who  will  telegraph  to  stop  the  train  to  Paris.  I 
spoke  to  him  about  that  at  Ostend,  so  that  everything  is 
ready." 

She  positively  hugged  me.  "  My  dear,"  she  cried,  "  you 
are  the  cleverest  little  woman  I  ever  met  in  my  life  !  Who 
on  earth  could  have  suspected  such  a  polished  gentleman  ! 
Why,  you  're  worth  your  weight  in  gold.  What  the  dickens 
shall  I  do  without  you  at  Schlangenbad  ?  " 


CHAPTER  II 

THE  ADVENTURE  OF  THE  SUPERCILIOUS   ATTACH:^ 

THE  Count  must  have  been  an  adept  in  the  gentle  art 
of  quick-change  disguise  ;  for  though  we  telegraphed 
full  particulars  of  his  appearance  from  Louvain,  the 
next  station,  nobody  in  the  least  resembling  either  him  or 
his  accomplice,  the  shabby-looking  man,  could  be  unearthed 
in  the  Paris  train  when  it  drew  up  at  Brussels,  its  first  stop- 
ping-place. They  must  have  transformed  themselves  mean- 
while into  two  different  persons.  Indeed,  from  the  outset,  I 
had  suspected  his  moustache — 't  was  so  very  distinguished. 

When  we  reached  Cologne,  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady 
overwhelmed  me  with  the  warmth  of  her  thanks  and  praises. 
Nay,  more  ;  after  breakfast  next  morning,  before  we  set  out 
by  slow  train  for  Schlangenbad,  she  burst  like  a  tornado  into 
my  bedroom  at  the  Cologne  hotel  with  a  cheque  for  twenty 
guineas,  drawn  in  my  favour.  "  That 's  for  you,  my  dear," 
she  said,  handing  it  to  me,  and  looking  really  quite  gracious. 

I  glanced  at  the  piece  of  paper  and  felt  my  face  glow  crim- 
son. "  Oh,  Lady  Georgina,"  I  cried;  "  you  misunderstand. 
You  forget  that  I  am  a  lady." 

"  Nonsense,  child,  nonsense  !  Your  courage  and  prompti- 
tude were  worth  ten  times  that  sum,"  she  exclaimed,  posi- 

31 


32 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


tively  slipping  her  arm  round  my  neck.  "  It  was  your 
courage  I  particularly  admired,  Lois  ;  because  you  faced  the 
risk  of  my  happening  to  look  inside  the  outer  case,  and  find- 
ing you  had  abstracted  the  blessed  box  ;  in  which  case  I 


I  PUT  HER  HAND  BACK  FIRMLV. 


might  quite  naturally  have  concluded  you  meant  to  steal  it." 
"  I  thought  of  that,"  I  answered.  "  But  I  decided  to  risk 
it.  I  felt  it  was  worth  while.  For  I  was  sure  the  man 
meant  to  take  the  case  as  soon  as  ever  you  gave  him  the 
opportunity." 

"  Then  you  deserve  to  be  rewarded,"  she  insisted,  press- 
ing the  cheque  upon  me.  VJ\ 


The  Supercilious  Attache  33 

I  put  her  hand  back  firmly.  "  Lady  Georgina,"  I  said, 
"  it  is  very  amiable  of  you.  I  think  you  do  right  in  offering 
me  the  money  ;  but  I  think  I  should  do  altogether  wrong  in 
accepting  it.  A  lady  is  not  honest  from  the  hope  of  gain  ; 
she  is  not  brave  because  she  expects  to  be  paid  for  her 
bravery.  You  were  my  employer,  and  I  was  bound  to  serve 
my  employer's  interests.  I  did  so  as  well  as  I  could,  and 
there  is  the  end  of  it. ' ' 

She  looked  absolutely  disappointed  ;  we  all  hate  to  crush 
a  benevolent  impulse  ;  but  she  tore  the  cheque  up  into  very 
small  pieces.  "  As  you  will,  my  dear,"  she  said,  with  her 
hands  on  her  hips  ;  "I  see  you  are  poor  Tom  Cayley's 
daughter.  He  was  always  a  bit  Quixotic."  Though  I  be- 
lieve she  liked  me  all  the  better  for  my  refusal. 

On  the  way  from  Cologne  to  Eltville,  however,  and  on  the 
drive  up  to  Schlangenbad,  I  found  her  just  as  fussy  and  as 
worrying  as  ever.  "  Let  me  see,  how  many  of  these  horrid 
pfennigs  make  an  English  penny  ?  I  never  ca7i  remember. 
Oh,  those  silly  little  nickel  things  are  ten  pfennigs  each,  are 
they  ?  Well,  eight  would  be  a  penny,  I  suppose.  A  mark 's- 
a  shilling  ;  ridiculous  of  them  to  divide  it  into  ten  pence  in- 
stead of  twelve  ;  one  never  really  knows  how  much  one  's 
paying  for  anything.  Why  these  Continental  people  can't 
be  content  to  use  pounds,  shillings,  and  pence,  all  over  alike^ 
the  same  as  we  do,  passes  7ny  comprehension.  They  're  glad 
enough  to  get  English  sov^ereigns  when  they  can  ;  why, 
then,  don't  they  use  them  as  such,  instead  of  reckoning 
them  each  at  twenty-five  francs,  and  then  trying  to  cheat 
you  out  of  the  proper  exchange,  which  is  always  ten  centimes 
more  than  the  brokers  give  you  ?    What,  rev  use  their  beastly 

decimal  system  ?     Lois,  I  'm  ashamed  of  you.     An  English 
3 


34  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

girl  to  turn  and  rend  her  native  country  like  that  !  Francs 
and  centimes,  indeed  !  Fancy  proposing  it  at  Peter  Robin- 
son's !  No,  I  will  not  go  by  the  boat,  my  dear.  I  hate  the 
Rhine  boats,  crowded  with  nasty  selfish  pigs  of  Germans. 
What /like  is  a  first-class  compartment  all  to  myself,  and 
no  horrid  foreigners.  Especially  Germans.  They  're  burst- 
ing with  self-satisfaction — have  such  an  exaggerated  belief 
in  their  *  land  '  and  their  '  folk.'  And  when  they  come  to 
England,  they  do  nothing  but  find  faul*"  with  us.  If  people 
are  n't  satisfied  with  the  countries  they  trav^el  in,  they  'd 
better  stop  at  home — that  's  my  opinion.  Nasty  pigs  of 
Germans!  The  very  sight  of  them  sickens  me.  Oh,  I  don't 
mind  if  they  do  understand  me,  child.  They  all  learn  Eng- 
lish nowadays  ;  it  helps  them  in  trade — that  's  why  they  're 
driving  us  out  of  all  the  markets.  But  it  viust  be  good  for 
them  to  learn  once  in  a  way  what  other  people  really  think 
of  them — civilised  people,  I  mean  ;  not  Germans.  They  're 
a  set  of  barbarians." 

We  reached  Schlangenbad  alive,  though  I  sometimes 
doubted  it,  for  my  old  lady  did  her  boisterous  best  to  rouse 
some  peppery  German  officer  into  cutting  our  throats  incon- 
tinently by  the  way  ;  and  when  we  got  there,  we  took  up 
our  abode  in  the  nicest  hotel  in  the  village.  Lady  Georgina 
had  engaged  the  best  front  room  on  the  first  floor,  with  a 
charming  view  across  the  pine-clad  valley  ;  but  I  must  do 
her  the  justice  to  say  that  she  took  the  second  best  for  me, 
and  that  she  treated  me  in  every  way  like  the  guest  she  de- 
lighted to  honour.  My  refusal  to  accept  her  twenty  guineas 
made  her  anxious  to  pay  it  back  to  me  within  the  terms  of 
our  agreement.  vShe  described  me  to  everybody  as  a  young 
friend  who  was  travelling  with  her,  and  never  gave  any  one 


The  Supercilious  Attache  35 

the  slightest  hint  of  my  being  a  paid  companion.  Our  ar- 
rangement was  that  I  was  to  have  two  guineas  for  the  week, 
besides  my  travelHng  expenses,  board,  and  lodging. 

On  our  first  morning  at  Schlangenbad,  Lady  Georgina 
sallied  forth,  very  much  overdressed,  and  in  a  youthful  hat, 
to  use  the  waters.  They  are  valued  chiefly  for  the  com- 
plexion, I  learned  ;  I  wondered  then  why  Lady  Geoigina 
came  there — for  she  had  n't  any  ;  but  they  are  also  recom- 
mended for  nervous  irritability,  and  as  Lady  Georgina  had 
visited  the  place  almost  every  summer  for  fifteen  years,  it 
opened  before  one's  mind  an  appalling  vista  of  what  her  tem- 
per might  have  been  if  she  had  not  gone  to  Schlangenbad. 
The  hot  springs  are  used  in  the  form  of  a  bath.  "  You  don't 
need  them,  my  dear,"  Lady  Georgina  said  to  me,  with  a 
good-humoured  smile  ;  and  I  will  own  that  I  did  not,  for 
nature  had  gifted  me  with  a  tolerable  cuticle.  But  I  like 
when  at  Rome  to  do  as  Rome  does  ;  so  I  tried  the  baths 
once.  I  found  them  unpleasantly  smooth  and  oily.  I  do 
not  freckle,  but  if  I  did,  I  think  I  should  prefer  freckles. 

We  walked  much  on  the  terrace — the  inevitable  dawdling 
promenade  of  all  German  watering-places, — it  reeked  of 
Serene  Highness.  We  also  drove  out  among  the  low  wooded 
hills  which  bound  the  Rhine  valley.  The  majority  of  the 
visitors,  I  found,  were  ladies — Court  ladies,  most  of  them  ; 
all  there  for  their  complexions,  but  all  anxious  to  assure  me 
privately  they  had  come  for  what  they  described  as  ' '  nervous 
debility."  I  divided  them  at  once  into  two  classes  :  half  of 
them  never  had  and  never  would  have  a  complexion  at  all  ; 
the  other  half  had  exceptionally  smooth  and  beautiful  skins, 
of  which  they  were  obviously  proud,  and  whose  pink-and- 
white  peach-blossom  they  thought  to  preserve  by  assiduous 


36  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

bathing.  It  was  vanity  working  on  two  opposite  bases. 
There  was  a  sprinkling  of  men,  however,  who  were  really 
there  for  a  sufficient  reason — wounds  or  serious  complaints  ; 
while  a  few  good  old  sticks,  porty  and  whisty,  were  in  at- 
tendance on  invalid  wives  or  sisters. 

From  the  beginning  I  noticed  that  I<ady  Georgina  went 
peering  about  all  over  the  place,  as  if  she  were  hunting  for 
something  she  had  lost,  with  her  long-handled  tortoise-shell 
glasses  perpetually  in  evidence — the  "  aristocratic  outrage  " 
I  called  them — and  that  she  eyed  all  the  men  with  peculiar 
attention.  But  I  took  no  open  notice  of  her  little  weakness. 
On  our  second  day  at  the  Spa,  I  was  sauntering  with  her 
down  the  chief  street — ' '  a  beastly  little  hole,  my  dear  ;  not 
a  decent  shop  where  one  can  buy  a  reel  of  thread  or  a  yard 
of  tape  in  the  place  !  "—when  I  observed  a  tall  and  hand- 
some young  man  on  the  opposite  side  of  the  road  cast  a  hasty 
glance  at  us,  and  then  sneak  around  the  corner  hurriedly. 
He  was  a  loose-limbed,  languid-looking  young  man,  with 
large,  dreamy  eyes,  and  a  peculiarly  beautiful  and  gentle 
expression  ;  but  what  I  noted  about  him  most  was  an  odd 
superficial  air  of  superciliousness.  He  seemed  always  to 
be  looking  down  with  scorn  on  that  foolish  jumble,  the  uni- 
verse. He  darted  away  so  rapidly,  however,  that  I  hardly 
discovered  all  this  just  then.  I  piece  it  out  from  subsequent 
observations. 

Later  in  the  day,  we  chanced  to  pass  a  cafi,  where  three 
young  exquisites  sat  sipping  Rhine  wines  after  the  fashion 
of  the  country.  One  of  them,  with  a  gold-tipped  cigarette 
held  gracefully  between  two  slender  fingers,  was  my  languid- 
looking  young  aristocrat.  He  was  blowing  out  smoke  in  a 
lazy  blue  stream.     The  moment  he  saw  me,  however,  he 


The  Supercilious  Attache 


37 


turned  away  as  if  he  desired   to  escape  observation,   and 
ducked  down  so  as  to  hide  his  face  behind  his  companions. 


HE   CAST   A   HASTY    (il.ANCE   AT    IS, 


I  wondered   why   on  earth  he  should  want  to  avoid  me. 
Could  this  be  the  Count  ?     No,  the  young  man  with  the  halo 


38  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

of  cigarette  smoke  stood  three  inches  taller.  Who,  then,  at 
Schlangenbad  could  wish  to  avoid  my  notice  ?  It  was  a 
singular  mystery  ;  for  I  was  quite  certain  the  supercilious 
j'oung  man  was  trying  his  best  to  prevent  my  seeing  him. 

That  evening,  after  dinner,  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady 
burst  out  suddenly:  "  Well,  I  can't  for  the  life  of  me  imagine 
why  Harold  lias  n't  turned  up  here.  The  wretch  knew  I 
was  coming  ;  and  I  heard  from  our  Ambassador  at  Rome 
last  week  that  he  was  going  to  be  at  Schlangenbad." 

"  Wnio  is  Harold  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  My  nephew,"  Lady  Georgina  snapped  back,  beating  a 
devil's  tattoo  with  her  fan  on  the  table.  "  The  only  member 
of  my  family,  except  myself,  who  is  n'  t  a  born  idiot.  Harold  's 
not  an  idiot ;  he  's  an  attache  at  Rome." 

I  saw  it  at  a  glance.  Then  he  is  in  Schlangenbad,"  I 
answered.     "  I  noticed  him  this  morning." 

The  old  lad}^  turned  towards  me  sharpl3^  She  peered 
right  through  me,  as  if  she  were  a  Rontgen  ray.  I  could 
see  she  was  asking  herself  whether  this  was  a  conspiracy, 
and  whether  I  had  come  there  on  purpose  to  meet  "  Harold." 
But  I  Matter  myself  I  am  tolerably  mistress  of  my  own 
countenance.  I  did  not  blench.  "  How  do  you  know?" 
she  asked  quickly,  with  an  acid  intonation. 

If  I  had  answered  the  truth,  I  should  have  said:  "  I  know 
he  is  here,  because  I  saw  a  good-looking  young  man  evi- 
dently trying  to  avoid  you  this  morning  ;  and  if  a  young 
man  has  the  misfortune  to  be  born  j'our  nephew,  and  also  to 
have  expectations  from  you,  it  is  easy  to  understand  that  he 
would  prefer  to  keep  out  of  your  way  as  long  as  possible." 
But  that  would  have  been  neither  polite  nor  politic.  More- 
over, I  reflected  that  I  had  no  particular  reason  for  wishing 


The  Supercilious  Attache 


39 


to  do  Mr.  Harold  a  bad  turn  ;  and  that  it  would  be  kinder  to 
him,  as  well  as  to  her,  to  conceal  the  reasons  on  which  I 


based  my  instinctive  inference.    So  I  took  up  a  strong  strat- 
egic position.    "  I  have  an  intuition  that  I  saw  him  in  the  vil- 


40  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

lage  this  morning,"  I  said.  "  Family  likeness,  perhaps.  I 
merely  jumped  at  it  as  you  spoke.  A  tall,  languid  young 
man  ;  large,  poetical  eyes  ;  an  artistic  moustache— just  a 
trifle  Oriental-looking." 

"  That  's  Harold  !  "  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  rapped 
out  sharply,  with  clear  conviction.  "  The  miserable  boy  I 
Why  on  earth  has  n't  he  been  round  to  see  me  ?  " 

I  reflected  that  I  knew  why ;  but  I  did  not  say  so.  Silence 
is  golden.  I  also  remarked  mentally  on  that  curious  human 
blindness  which  had  made  me  conclude  at  first  that  the  su- 
percilious young  man  was  trying  to  avoid  7)ie,  when  I  might 
have  guessed  it  was  far  more  likely  he  was  trying  to  avoid 
my  companion.  I  was  a  nobody  ;  Lady  Georgina  Fawley 
was  a  woman  of  European  reputation. 

"  Perhaps  he  did  n't  know  which  hotel  you  were  stopping 
at,"  I  put  in,  "  Or  even  that  you  were  here."  I  felt  a 
sudden  desire  to  shield  poor  Harold. 

'*  Not  know  which  hotel  ?  Nonsense,  child  ;  he  knows  I 
come  here  on  this  precise  date  regularly  every  sumiver  ;  and 
if  he  did  n't  know,  is  it  likely  I  should  try  any  other  inn, 
when  this  is  the  only  moderately  decent  house  to  stop  at  in 
Schlangenbad  ?  And  the  morning  coffee  undrinkable  at 
that  ;  while  the  hash — such  hash  !  But  that  's  the  way  in 
Germany.  He  's  an  ungrateful  monster  ;  if  he  comes  now, 
I  shall  refuse  to  see  him." 

Next  morning  after  breakfast,  however,  in  spi'-.e  of  these 
threats,  she  hauled  me  forth  with  her  on  the  Harold  hunt. 
She  had  sent  the  concierge  to  inquire  at  all  the  hotels  already, 
it  seemed,  and  found  her  truant  at  none  of  them  ;  now  she 
ransacked  the  pensions.  At  last  she  hunted  him  down  in  a 
house    on    the   hill.      I    could   see    she    was   really  hurt. 


The  Supercilious  Attache  4^ 

"  Harold,  you  viper,  what  do  you  mean  by  trying  to  avoid 
me?" 

"  My  dear  aunt,  jyou  here  in  Schlangenbad  !  Why,  when 
did  you  arrive  ?  And  what  a  colour  you  've  got  !  You  're 
looking  so  well  !  "     That  clever  thrust  saved  him. 

He  cast  me  an  appealing  glance.  "  You  will  not  betray 
me?"  it  said.  I  answered,  mutely,  "Not  for  worlds," 
with  a  faltering  pair  of  downcast  eyelids. 

"  Oh,  I  'm  we//  enough,  thank  you,"  Lady  Georgina  re- 
plied, somewhat  mollified  by  his  astute  allusion  to  her  per- 
sonal appearance.  He  had  hit  her  weak  point  dexterously. 
"  As  well,  that  is,  as  one  can  expect  to  be  nowadays. 
Hereditary  gout — the  sins  of  the  fathers  visited  as  usual. 
But  why  did  n't  you  come  to  see  me  ?  " 

"  How  can  I  come  to  see  you  if  you  don't  tell  me  where 
you  are  ?  '  Lady  Georgina  Fawley,  Europe,'  was  the  only 
address  I  knew.     It  strikes  me  as  insufficient." 

His  gentle  drawl  was  a  capital  foil  to  Lady  Georgina' s 
acidulous  soprano.  It  seemed  to  disarm  her.  She  turned  to 
me  with  a  benignant  wave  of  her  hand.  "  Miss  Cayley," 
she  said,  introducing  me  ;  "  my  nephew,  Mr.  Harold  Tilling- 
ton.  You  've  heard  me  talk  of  poor  Tom  Cayley,  Harold  ? 
This  is  poor  Tom  Cayley's  daughter." 

"Indeed?"  the  supercilious  attache  put  in,  looking 
hard  at  me.  "  Delighted  to  make  Miss  Cayley's  acquaint- 
ance." 

"  Now,  Harold,  I  can  tell  from  your  voice  at  once  you 
have  n't  remembered  one  word  about  Captain  Cayley." 

Harold  stood  on  the  defensive.  ' '  My  dear  aunt, " '  he  ob- 
served, expanding  both  palms,  "  I  have  heard  you  talk  of  so 
very  many  people,  that  even  vij>  diplomatic  memory  fails  at 


42  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

times  to  recollect  them  all.  But  I  do  better  ;  I  dissemble. 
I  will  plead  forgetfuluess  now  of  Captain  Cayley,  since  you 
force  it  on  me.  It  is  not  likely  I  shall  have  to  plead  it  of 
Captain  Cayley's  daughter."  And  he  bowed  toward  me 
gallantly. 

The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  darted  a  lightning  glance  at 
him.  It  was  a  glance  of  quick  suspicion.  Then  she  turned 
her  Rontgen  rays  upon  my  face  once  more.  I  fear  I  burned 
crimson. 

"  A  friend  ?  "  he  asked.     "  Or  a  fellow-guest  ?  " 

"  A  companion."  It  was  the  first  nasty  thing  she  had 
said  of  me. 

"  Ha  !  more  than  a  friend,  then.  A  comrade."  He 
turned  the  edge  neatly. 

We  walked  out  on  the  terrace  and  a  little  way  up  the  zig- 
zag path.  The  day  was  superb.  I  found  Mr.  Tillington,  in 
spite  of  his  studiously  languid  and  supercilious  air,  a  most 
agreeable  companion.  He  knew  Europe.  He  was  full  of 
talk  of  Rome  and  the  Romans,  He  had  epigrammatic  wit, 
curt,  keen,  and  pointed.  We  sat  down  on  a  bench  ;  he  kept 
Lady  Georgina  and  myself  amused  for  an  hour  by  his  crisp 
sallies.  Besides,  he  had  been  everywhere  and  seen  every- 
body.    Culture  and  agriculture  seemed  all  one  to  him. 

When  we  rose  to  go  in,  Lady  Georgina  remarked,  with 
emphasis,  "  Of  course,  Harold,  you  '11  come  and  take  up 
your  diggings  at  our  hotel  ?  " 

"  Of  course,  my  dear  aunt.  How  can  you  ask?  Free 
quarters.     Nothing  would  give  me  greater  pleasure." 

She  glanced  at  him  keenly  again.  I  saw  she  had  expected 
him  to  fake  up  some  lame  excuse  for  not  joining  us  ;  and  I 
fancied  she  was  annoyed  at  his  prompt  acquiescence,  which 


The  Supercilious  Attache  43 

had  done  her  out  of  the  chance  for  a  family  disagreement. 
"  Oh,  j'ou  '11  come  then  ?  "  she  said,  grudgingl}'. 

"  Certainly,  most  respected  aunt.     I  shall  much  prefer  it." 

She  let  her  piercing  eye  descend  upon  me  once  more.  I 
was  aware  that  I  had  been  talking  with  frank  ease  of  manner 
to  Mr.  Tillington,  and  that  I  had  said  several  things  which 
clearly  amused  him.  Then  I  remembered  all  at  once  our 
relative  positions.  A  companion,  I  felt,  should  know  her 
place  ;  it  is  not  her  role  to  be  smart  and  amusing.  "  Per- 
haps," I  said,  drawing  back,  "  Mr.  Tillington  would  like  to 
remain  in  his  present  quarters  till  the  end  of  the  week,  while 
I  am  with  you,  lyady  Georgina  ;  after  that,  he  could  have 
my  room  ;  it  might  be  more  convenient." 

His  eye  caught  mine  quickly.  "  Oh,  you  're  only  going 
to  stop  a  week,  then.  Miss  Cay  ley  ?  "  he  ^^ut  in,  with  an  air 
of  disappointment. 

"  Only  a  week,"  I  nodded. 

"  My  dear  child,"  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  broke  out, 
"  what  nonsense  you  do  talk  !  Only  going  to  .stop  a  week  ? 
How  can  I  exist  without  you  ?  " 

"  That  was  the  arrangement,"  I  said,  mischievously. 
"  You  were  going  to  look  about,  you  recollect,  for  an  un- 
sophisticated Gretchen.  You  don't  happen  to  know  of  any 
warehouse  where  a  supply  of  unsophisticated  Gretchens  is 
kept  constantly  in  stock,  do  you,  Mr.  Tillington  ?  " 

"  No,  I  don't,"  he  answered,  laughing.  "  I  believe  there 
are  dodos'  and  auks'  eggs,  in  very  small  numbers,  still  to  be 
procured  in  the  proper  quarters  ;  but  the  unsophisticated 
Gretchen,  I  am  credibl}'^  informed,  is  an  extinct  animal. 
Why,  the  cap  of  one  fetches  high  prices  nowadays  among 
collectors. "  . 


44  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  But  you  will  come  to  the  hotel  at  once,  Harold  ?  "  Lady 
Georgina  interposed. 

*'  Certainly,  aunt.  I  will  move  in  without  delay.  If 
Miss  Cayley  is  going  to  stay  for  a  single  week  only,  that  adds 
one  extra  inducement  for  joining  you  immediately." 

His  aunt's  stony  eye  was  cold  as  marble. 

So  when  we  got  back  to  our  hotel  after  the  baths  that 
afternoon,  the  concierge  greeted  us  with  :  "  Well,  your  noble 
nephew  has  arrived,  high-well-born  countess  !  He  came 
with  his  boxes  just  now,  and  has  taken  a  room  near  your 
honourable  ladyship's." 

Lady  Georgina's  face  was  a  study  of  mingled  emotions. 
I  don't  know  whether  she  looked  more  pleased  or  jealous. 

Later  in  the  day,  I  chanced  on  Mr.  Tillington,  sunning 
himself  on  a  bench  in  the  hotel  garden.  He  rose,  and  came 
up  to  me,  as  fast  as  his  languid  nature  permitted.  "  Oh, 
Miss  Cayley,"  he  said,  abruptly,  "  I  do  want  to  thank  you 
so  much  for  not  betraying  me.  I  know  you  spotted  me 
twice  in  the  town  yesterday  ;  and  I  also  know  you  were 
good  enough  to  say  nothing  to  my  revered  aunt  about  it." 

"  I  had  no  reason  for  wishing  to  hurt  Lady  Georgina's 
feelings,"  I  answered,  with  a  permissible  evasion. 

His  countenance  fell.  "  I  never  thought  of  that,"  he 
interposed,  with  one  hand  on  his  moustache.  "  I — I  fancied 
you  did  it  out  of  fellow-feeling." 

"  We  all  think  of  things  mainly  from  our  own  point  of 
view  first,"  I  answered.  "  The  difference  is  that  some  of  us 
think  of  them  from  other  people's  afterwards.  Motives  are 
mixed." 

He  smiled.  "  I  did  n't  know  my  deeply  venerated  rela- 
tive was  coming  here  so  soon,"  he  went  on.     "  I  thought 


The  Supercilious  Attache 


45 


she  was  n't  expected  till  next  week  ;  my  brother  wrote  me 
that  she  had  quarrelled  with  her  French  maid,  and  't  would 
take  her  full  ten  days  to  get  another.     I  meant  to  clear  out 


"circumstances  alter  cases,    he  murmured. 

before  she  arrived.     To  tell  you  the  truth,  I  was  going  to- 
morrow. ' ' 

"  And  now  you  are  stopping  on  ?  " 


46  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

He  caught  my  eye  again. 

"  Circumstances  alter  cases,"  he  murmured,  with  meaning. 

"It  is  hardly  polite  to  describe  one  as  a  circumstance,"  I 
objected. 

"  I  meant,"  he  said,  quickly,  "  my  aunt  alone  is  one  thing; 
my  aunt  with  a  friend  is  quite  another." 

"  I  see,"  I  answered,     "  There  is  safety  in  numbers." 

He  eyed  me  hard. 

*'  Are  you  mediaeval  or  modern  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Modern,  I  hope,"  I  replied.  Then  I  looked  at  him 
again.     "Oxford?" 

He  nodded.     "  And  you  ?  "  half  joking. 

"  Cambridge,"  I  said,  glad  to  catch  him  out.  "  What 
college  ?  " 

"  Merton.     Yours?" 

"  Girton." 

The  odd  rhyme  amused  him.  Thenceforth  we  were 
friends — "  two  'Varsity  men,"  he  said.  And  indeed  it  does 
make  a  queer  sort  of  link — a  freemasonry  to  which  even 
women  are  now  admitted. 

At  dinner  and  through  the  evening  he  talked  a  great  deal 
to  me,  Lady  Georgina  putting  in  from  time  to  time  a  char- 
acteristic growl  about  the  tablc-d'hdte  chicken — "  a  special 
breed,  my  dear,  with  eight  drumsticks  apiece" — or  about 
the  inadequate  lighting  of  the  heavy  German  salo7t.  She 
was  worse  than  ever  ;  pungent  as  a  rule,  that  evening  she 
was  grumpy.  When  we  retired  for  the  night,  to  my  great 
surprise,  she  walked  into  my  bedroom.  She  seated  herself 
on  my  bed  :  I  saw  she  had  come  to  talk  over  Harold. 

"  He  will  be  very  rich,  my  dear,  you  know.  A  great 
catch  in  time.     He  will  inherit  all  my  brother's  money." 


The  Supercilious  Attache  47 

"Lord  Kynaston's?" 

"  Bless  the  child,  no.  Kynaston  's  as  poor  as  a  church 
mouse  with  the  tithes  unpaid  ;  he  has  three  sons  of  his  own, 
and  not  a  blessed  stiver  to  leave  between  them.  How  could 
he,  poor  dear  idiot  ?  Agricultural  depression  ;  a  splendid 
pauper.  He  has  only  the  estate,  and  that  'sin  Essex  ;  land 
going  begging  ;  worth  nothing  a  year,  encumbered  up  to  the 
eyes,  and  loaded  with  first  rent-charges,  jointures,  settle- 
ments. Money,  indeed  !  poor  Kynaston  !  It  's  my  brother 
Marmaduke's  I  mean  ;  lucky  dog,  //^  went  in  for  speculation 
— began  life  as  a  guinea-pig,  and  rose  with  the  rise  of  soap 
and  cocoa.     He  's  worth  his  half- million." 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Marmaduke  Ashurst." 

I<ady  Georgina  nodded.  "  Marmy  's  a  fool,"  she  .said, 
briefly;  "  but  he  knows  which  side  of  his  bread  is  buttered." 

"  And  Mr.  Tillington  is — his  nephew  ?  " 

"  Bless  the  child,  yes  ;  have  you  never  read  your  British 
Bible,  the  peerage  ?  Astonishing,  the  ignorance  of  these 
Girton  girls  !  They  don't  even  know  the  Leger  's  run  at 
Doncaster.  The  family  name  's  Ashurst.  Kynaston  's  an 
earl — I  was  Lady  Georgina  Ashurst  before  I  took  it  into  my 
head  to  marry  and  do  for  poor  Evelyn  Fawley.  My  younger 
brother  's  the  Honourable  Marmaduke  Ashurst — women  get 
the  best  of  it  there — it 's  about  the  only  place  where  they  do 
get  the  best  of  it :  an  earl's  daughter  is  Lady  Betty  ;  his 
son  's  nothing  more  than  the  Honourable  Tom.  So  one 
scores  off"one  's  brothers.  My  younger  sister,  Lady  Guinevere 
Ashurst,  married  Stanley  Tillington  of  the  Foreign  Office. 
Harold  's  their  eldest  son.     Now,  child,  do  you  grasp  it  ?  " 

"  Perfectly,"  I  answered.  "  You  speak  like  Debrett. 
Has  issue,  Harold." 


'\':'' 


48  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

' '  And  Harold  will  inherit  all  Marmaduke's  money.  What 
I  'm  always  afraid  of  is  that  some  fascinating  adventuress 
will  try  to  marry  him  out  of  hand.  A  pretty  face,  and  over 
goes  Harold  !  Afy  business  in  life  is  to  stand  in  the  way 
and  prevent  it." 

She  looked  me  through  and  through  again  with  her  X-ray 
scrutiny. 

"  I  don't  think  Mr.  Tillington  is  quite  the  sort  that  falls  a 
prey  to  adventuresses, ' '  I  answered,  boldly. 

"  Ah,  but  there  are  faggots  and  faggots,"  the  old  lady 
said,  wagging  her  head  with  profound  meaning.  "  Never 
mind,  though  ;  /  'd  like  to  see  an  adventuress  marry  off 
Harold  without  my  leave  !  /  'd  lead  her  a  life  !  I  'd  turn 
her  black  hair  grey  for  her  !  " 

"  I  should  think,"  I  assented,  **  you  could  do  it,  I^ady 
Georgina,  if  you  gave  your  attention  seriously  to  it." 

From  that  moment  forth,  I  was  aware  that  my  Cantanker- 
ous Old  lyady's  malign  eye  was  inexorably  fixed  upon  me 
every  time  I  went  within  speaking  distance  of  Mr.  Tilling- 
ton, She  watched  him  like  a  lynx.  She  watched  fne  like  a 
dozen  lynxes.  Wherever  we  went,  Lady  Georgina  was  sure 
to  turn  up  in  the  neighbourhood.  She  was  perfectly  ubiqui- 
tous :  she  seemed  to  possess  a  world-wide  circulation.  I 
don't  know  whether  it  was  this  constant  suggestion  of  hers 
that  I  was  stalking  her  nephew  which  roused  my  latent 
human  feeling  of  opposition  ;  but  in  the  end,  I  began  to  be 
aware  that  I  rather  liked  the  supercilious  attache  than  other- 
wise. He  evidently  liked  me,  and  he  tried  to  meet  me. 
Whenever  he  spoke  to  me,  indeed,  it  was  without  the  super- 
ciliousness which  marked  his  manner  toward  others  ;  in 
point  of  fact,  it  was  with  graceful  deference.     He  watched 


The  Supercilious  Attache  49 

for  me  on  the  stairs,  in  the  garden,  by  the  terrace  ;  when- 
ever he  got  a  chance,  he  sidled  over  and  talked  to  nie. 
Sometimes  he  stopped  in  to  read  me  Heine  :  he  also  intro- 
duced me  to  select  portions  of  Gabriele  d'Annunzio.  It  is 
feminine  to  be  touched  by  such  obvious  attention  ;  I  confess, 
before  long,  I  grew  to  like  Mr.  Harold  Tillington. 

The  closer  he  followed  me  up,  the  more  did  I  perceive 
that  Lady  Georgina  threw  out  acrid  hints  with  increasing 
spleen  about  the  ways  of  adventuresses.  They  were  hints 
of  that  acrimonious  generalised  kind,  too,  which  one  cannot 
answer  back  without  seeming  to  admit  that  the  cap  has 
fitted.  It  was  atrocious  how  middle-class  young  women 
nowadays  ran  after  young  men  of  birth  and  fortune.  A  girl 
would  stoop  to  anything  in  order  to  catch  five  hundred  thou- 
sand. Guileless  youths  should  be  thrown  among  their 
natural  equals.  It  was  a  mistake  to  let  them  see  too  much 
of  people  of  a  lower  rank  who  consider  themselves  good- 
looking.  And  the  clever  ones  were  the  worst  :  they  pre- 
tended to  go  in  for  intellectual  companionship. 

I  also  noticed  that  though  at  first  Lady  Georgina  had  ex- 
pressed the  strongest  disinclination  to  my  leaving  her  after 
the  time  originally  proposed,  she  now  began  to  take  for 
granted  that  I  would  go  at  the  end  of  my  week,  as  arranged 
in  London,  and  she  even  went  on  to  some  overt  steps  towards 
securing  the  help  of  the  blameless  Gretchen. 

We  had  arrived  at  Schlangenbad  on  Tuesday.  I  was  to 
stop  with  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  till  the  corresponding 
day  of  the  following  week.  On  the  Sunday,  I  wandered  out 
on  the  wooded  hillside  behind  the  village  ;  and  as  I  mounted 
the  path  I  was  dimly  aware  by  a  sort  of  instinct  that  Harold 
Tillington  was  following  me. 


50  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

He  came  up  with  me  at  last  near  a  ledge  of  rock.  "  How 
fast  you  walk  !  "  he  exclaimed.  "  I  gave  you  only  a  few 
minutes'  start,  and  yet  even  my  long  legs  have  had  hard 
work  to  overtake  you. ' ' 

"  I  am  a  fairly  good  climber,"  I  answered,  sitting  down 
on  a  little  wooden  bench.  "  You  see,  at  Cambridge,  I  went 
on  the  river  a  great  deal — I  canoed  and  sculled  ;  and  then, 
besides,  I  've  done  a  lot  of  bicycling." 

"  What  a  splendid  birthright  it  is,"  he  cried,  "  to  be  a 
wholesome  athletic  English  girl  !  You  can't  think  how  one 
admires  English  girls  after  living  a  year  or  two  in  Italy — 
where  women  are  dolls,  except  for  a  brief  period  of  intrigue, 
before  they  settle  down  to  be  contented  frumps  with  an  out- 
line like  a  barrel." 

"  A  little  muscle  and  a  little  mind  are  no  doubt  advisable 
adjuncts  for  a  housewife,"  I  admitted. 

"  You  shall  not  say  that  word,"  he  cried,  seating  himself 
at  my  side.  "  It  is  a  word  for  Germans,  '  housewife.'  Our 
English  ideal  is  something  immeasurably  higher  and  better. 
A  companion,  a  complement  !  Do  you  know.  Miss  Cayley, 
it  always  sickens  me  when  I  hear  German  students  senti- 
mentalising over  their  madchen :  their  beautiful,  pure,  in- 
sipid, yellow-haired,  blue-eyed  madchen;  her,  so  fair,  so 
innocent,  so  unapproachably  vacuous — so  like  a  wax  doll — 
and  then  think  of  how  they  design  her  in  days  to  come  to 
cook  sausages  for  their  dinner,  and  knit  them  endless  stock- 
ings through  a  placid  middle  age,  till  the  needles  drop  from 
her  paralysed  fingers,  and  she  retires  into  frilled  caps  and 
Teutonic  senility." 

'  *  You  seem  to  have  almost  as  low  an  opinion  of  foreigners  as 
your  respected  aunt !  "  I  exclaimed,  looking  quizzically  at  him. 


The  Supercilious  Attache  51^ 

He  drew  back,  surprised.  "  Oh,  no;  I  'm  not  narrow- 
minded,  like  my  aunt,  I  hope,"  he  answered.  "  I  am  a 
good  cosmopolitan.  I  allow  Continental  nations  all  their 
own  good  points,  and  each  has  many.  But  their  women, 
Miss  Cayley — and  their  point  of  view  of  their  women — you 
will  admit  that  there  they  can't  hold  a  candle  to  English 
women." 

I  drew  a  circle  in  the  dust  with  the  tip  of  my  parasol. 

"  On  that  issue,  I  may  not  be  a  wholly  unprejudiced  ob- 
server," I  answered.  "  The  fact  of  my  being  myself  an 
Englishwoman  may  possibly  to  some  extent  influence  my 
j  udgment. ' ' 

"  You  are  sarcastic,"  he  cried,  drawing  away. 

"  Not  at  all,"  I  answered,  making  a  wider  circle.  "  I 
spoke  a  simple  fact.  But  what  iajotir  ideal,  then,  as  opposed 
to  the  German  one  ? ' ' 

He  gazed   at  me  and  hesitated.     His  lips  half  parted. 

"  My  ideal  ?  "  he  said,  after  a  pause.  "  Well,  my  ideal — 
do  you  happen  to  have  such  a  thing  as  a  pocket-mirror 
about  you  ?  ' ' 

I  laughed  in  spite  of  myself.  "  Now,  Mr.  TilHngton,"  I 
said  severely,  "  if  you  're  going  to  pay  compliments,  I  shall 
have  to  return.  If  you  want  to  stop  here  with  me,  you 
must  remember  that  I  am  only  Lady  Georgina  Fawley's 
temporary  lady's-maid.  Besides,  I  did  n't  mean  that.  I 
meant,  what  is  your  ideal  of  a  man's  right  relation  to  his 
viddchen  ? '  * 

"  Don't  say  madchen,'"  he  cried,  petulantly.  "  It  sounds 
as  if  you  thought  me  one  of  those  sentimental  Germans.  I 
hate  sentiment." 

"  Then,  towards  the  woman  of  his  choice." 


52  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

He  glanced  up  through  the  tree.s  at  the  light  overhead, 
and  spoke  more  slowly  than  ev^er.  "  I  think,"  he  said, 
fumbling  his  watch-chain  nervously,  "  a  man  ought  to  wish 
the  woman  he  loves  to  be  a  free  agent,  his  equal  in  point  of 
action,  even  as  she  is  nobler  and  better  than  he  in  all 
spiritual  matters.  I  think  he  ought  to  desire  for  her  a  life 
as  high  as  she  is  capable  of  leading,  with  full  scope  for  every 
faculty  of  her  intellect  or  her  emotional  nature.  She  should 
be  beautiful,  with  a  vigorous,  wholesome,  many-sided 
beauty,  moral,  intellectual,  physical  ;  yet  with  soul  in  her, 
too  ;  and  with  the  soul  and  the  mind  lighting  up  her  eyes, 
as  it  lights  up — well,  that  is  immaterial.  And  if  a  man  can 
discover  such  a  w^oman  as  that,  and  can  induce  her  to  be- 
lieve in  him,  to  love  him,  to  accept  him — though  how  such 
a  woman  can  be  satisfied  with  any  man  at  all  is  to  me 
unfathomable — well,  then,  I  think  he  should  be  happy  in 
devoting  his  whole  life  to  her,  and  should  give  himself  up 
to  repay  her  condescension  in  taking  him." 

"  And  j'ou  hate  sentiment  !  "  I  put  in,  smiling. 

He  brought  his  eyes  back  from  the  sky  suddenly.  "  Miss 
Cayley,"  he  said,  "  this  is  cruel.  I  was  in  earnest.  You 
are  playing  with  me." 

"  I  believe  the  chief  characteristic  of  the  English  girl  is 
supposed  to  be  common  sense,"  I  answered,  calmly,  "  and  I 
trust  I  possess  it."  But  indeed,  as  he  spoke,  my  heart  was 
beginning  to  make  its  beat  felt  ;  for  he  was  a  charming 
young  man  ;  he  had  a  soft  voice  and  lustrous  eyes  ;  it  was  a 
summer's  day  ;  and  alone  in  the  woods  with  one  other  per- 
son, where  the  sunlight  falls  mellow  in  spots  like  a  leopard's 
skin,  one  is  apt  to  remember  that  we  are  all  human. 

That  evening  I.ady  Georgina  managed  to  blurt  out  more 


The  Supercilious  Attach^ 


53 


malicious  things  than  ever  about  the  ways  of  adventuresses, 
and  the  duty  of  relations  in  saving  young  men   from   the 


MISS   CAYLF.Y,      HE   SAIP,    "  YOU    ARE    PLAYING   WITH  ME. 


clever  clutches  of  designing  creatures.     She  was  ruthless  in 
her  rancour  ;  her  gibes  stung  me. 

On  Monday  at  breakfast  I  asked  her  casually  if  she  had 
yet  found  a  Gretchen. 


54  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  No,"  she  answered,  in  a  gloomy  voice.  "  All  slatterns, 
my  dear;  all  slatterns!  Brought  up  in  pig-sties.  I  would  n't 
let  one  of  them  touch  my  hair  for  thousands." 

"  That 's  unfortunate,"  I  said,  drily,  "  for  you  know  I  'm 
going  to-morrow." 

If  I  had  dropped  a  bomb  in  their  midst  they  could  n't  have 
looked  more  astonished.  ' '  To-morrow  ? ' '  Lady  Georgina 
gasped,  clutching  my  arm.  "  You  don't  mean  it,  child  ; 
you  don't  mean  it  ?  " 

I  asserted  my  Ego.  "  Certainly,"  I  answered,  with  my 
coolest  air.  "  I  said  I  thought  I  could  manage  you  for  a 
week  ;  and  I  have  managed  you." 

She  almost  burst  into  tears.  "  But,  my  child,  my  child, 
what  shall  I  do  without  you  ?  ' ' 

"  The  unsophisticated  Gretchen,"  I  answered,  trying  not 
to  look  concerned  ;  for  in  my  heart  of  hearts,  in  spite  of  her 
innuendoes,  I  had  really  grown  rather  to  like  the  Cantanker- 
ous Old  L,ady. 

She  rose  hastily  from  the  table,  and  darted  up  to  her  own 
room.  "  Lois,"  she  said,  as  she  rose,  in  a  curious  voice  of 
mingled  regret  and  suspicion,  "  I  will  talk  to  you  about  this 
later."  I  could  see  she  was  not  quite  satisfied  in  her  own 
mind  whether  Harold  Tillington  and  I  had  not  arranged  this 
coup  together. 

I  put  on  my  hat  and  strolled  off  into  the  garden,  and  then 
along  the  mossy  hill  path.  In  a  minute  more,  Harold  Til- 
lington was  beside  me. 

He  seated  me,  half  against  my  will,  on  a  rustic  bench. 

"  Look  here.  Miss  Cayley,"  he  said,  with  a  very  earnest 
face  ;  "  is  this  really  true  ?    Are  you  going  to-morrow  ?  " 

My  voice  trembled  a  little.     "  Yes,"  I  answered,  biting 


The  Supercilious  Attache  55 

my  lip,  "  I  am  going.  I  see  several  reasons  why  I  should 
go,  Mr.  Tillington." 

"But  so  soon?" 

"  Yes,  I  think  so  ;  the  sooner  the  better."  My  heart  was 
racing  now,  and  his  eyes  pleaded  mutely. 

"  Then  where  are  you  going  ?  " 

I  shrugged  my  shoulders,  and  pouted  my  lips  a  little.  "  I 
don't  know,"  I  replied.  "  The  world  is  all  before  me  where 
to  choose.  I  am  an  adventuress,"  I  said  it  boldly,  "  and  I 
am  in  quest  of  adventures.  I  really  have  not  yet  given  a 
thought  to  my  next  place  of  sojourn," 

"  But  you  will  let  me  know  when  you  have  decided  ?  " 

It  was  time  to  speak  out.  "  No,  Mr.  Tillington,"  I  said, 
with  decision.  * '  I  will  not  let  you  know.  One  of  my  reasons 
for  going  is,  that  I  think  I  had  better  see  no  more  of  you." 

He  flung  himself  on  the  bench  at  my  side,  and  folded  his 
hands  in  a  helpless  attitude.  "  But,  Miss  Cayley,"  he  cried, 
"  this  is  so  short  a  notice  ;  you  give  a  fellow  no  chance  ;  I 
hoped  I  might  have  seen  more  of  you — might  have  had  son;i2 
opportunity  of — of  letting  you  realise  how  deeply  I  admired 
and  respected  you — some  opportunity  of  showing  myself  as  I 

really  am  to  you — before — before "  he  paused,  and  looked 

hard  at  me. 

I  did  not  know  what  to  say.  I  really  liked  him  so  much  ; 
and  when  he  spoke  in  that  voice,  I  could  not  bear  to  seem 
cruel  to  him.  Indeed,  I  was  aware  at  the  moment  how  much 
I  had  grown  to  care  for  him  in  those  six  short  days.  But  I 
knew  it  was  impossible.  "  Don't  say  it,  Mr.  Tillington,"  I 
murmured,  turning  my  face  away.  "  The  less  said,  the 
sooner  mended." 

"  But  I  must,"  he  cried.     "  I  must  tell  you  now,  if  I  am 


56  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

to  have  no  chance  afterwards.  I  wanted  you  to  see  more  of 
me  before  I  ventured  to  ask  you  if  you  could  ever  love  me, 
if  you  could  ever  suffer  me  to  go  through  life  with  you,  to 
share  my  all  with  you."  He  seized  my  trembling  hand. 
"  Lois,"  he  cried,  in  a  pleading  voice,  "  I  vtust  ask  you  ;  I 
can't  expect  you  to  answer  me  now,  but  do  say  you  will  give 
me  at  least  some  other  chance  of  seeing  you,  and  then,  in 
time,  of  pressing  my  suit  upon  you." 

Tears  stood  in  my  eyes.  He  was  so  earnest,  so  charming. 
But  I  remembered  Lady  Georgina,  and  his  prospective  half- 
million.  I  moved  his  hand  away  gently.  "  I  cannot,"  I 
said.  "  I  cannot — I  am  a  penniless  girl — an  adventuress. 
Your  family,  your  uncle,  would  never  forgive  you  if  you 
married  me.  I  will  not  stand  in  your  way.  I — I  like  you 
very  much,  though  I  have  seen  so  little  of  you.  But  I  feel 
it  is  impossible — and  I  am  going  to-morrow." 

Then  I  rose  of  a  sudden,  and  ran  down  the  hill  with  all 
my  might,  lest  I  should  break  my  resolve,  never  stopping 
once  till  I  reached  my  own  bedroom. 

An  hour  later,  Lady  Georgina  burst  in  upon  me  in  high 
dudgeon.  "  Why,  Lois,  my  child  !  "  she  cried.  "  What 's 
this  ?  What  on  earth  does  it  mean  ?  Harold  tells  me  he 
has  proposed  to  you — proposed  to  you — and  you  've  rejected 
him  !  " 

I  dried  my  eyes  and  tried  to  look  steadily  at  her.  "  Yes, 
Lady  Georgina,"  I  faltered.  "  You  need  not  be  afraid.  I 
have  refused  him  ;  and  I  mean  it." 

She  looked  at  me,  all  aghast.  "  And  you  mean  it  !  "  she 
repeated.  "  You  mean  to  refuse  him.  Then,  all  I  can  say 
is,  Lois  Cayley,  I  call  it  pure  cheek  of  you  !  " 

"  What  ?  "  I  cried,  drawing  back. 


ROSE  OF   A    SUDDEN,    AND   RAN   DOWN  THE   HILL. 


57 


58  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

**  Yes,  cheek,"  she  answered,  volubly.  "  Forty  thousand 
a  year,  and  a  good  old  family  !  Harold  Tillington  is  my 
nephew  ;  he 's  an  earl's  grandson  ;  he 's  an  attache  at  Rome  ; 
and  he  's  bound  to  be  one  of  the  richest  commoners  in  Eng- 
land. Who  are  you,  I  'd  like  to  know,  miss,  that  you  dare 
to  reject  him  ?  " 

I  stared  at  her,  amazed.  "  But,  Lady  Georgina,"  I  cried, 
"  you  said  you  wished  to  protect  your  nephew  against  bare- 
faced adventuresses  who  were  setting  their  caps  at  him." 

She  fixed  her  eyes  on  me,  half  angry,  half  tremulous. 

* '  Of  course, ' '  she  answered,  with  withering  scorn.  ' '  But, 
thctiy  I  thought  you  were  trying  to  catch  him.  He  tells  me 
now  you  won't  have  him,  and  you  won't  tell  him  where  3'ou 
are  going.  I  call  it  sheer  insolence.  Where  do  you  hail 
from,  girl,  that  you  should  refuse  my  nephew  ?  A  man  that 
any  woman  in  England  would  be  proud  to  marry  !  Forty 
thousand  a  j'ear,  and  an  earl's  grandson  !  That  's  what 
comes,  I  suppose,  of  going  to  Girton  !  " 

I  drew  myself  up.  "  Lady  Georgina,"  I  said,  coldly,  "  I 
cannot  allow  you  to  use  such  language  to  me.  I  promised  to 
accompany  you  to  Germany  for  a  week  ;  and  I  have  kept  my 
word.  I  like  3'our  nephew  ;  I  respect  your  nephew  ;  he  has 
behaved  like  a  gentleman.  But  I  will  not  marry  him.  Your 
own  conduct  showed  me  in  the  plainest  way  that  you  did  not 
judge  such  a  match  desirable  for  him  ;  and  I  have  conmion 
sense  enough  to  see  that  you  were  quite  right.  I  am  a  lady 
by  birth  and  education  ;  I  am  an  officer's  daughter  ;  but  I 
am  not  what  society  calls  a  *  good  match '  for  Mr.  Tilling- 
ton.   He  had  better  marry  into  a  rich  stock-broker' s  family. ' ' 

It  was  an  unworthy  taunt  ;  the  moment  it  escaped  my  lips 
I  regretted  it. 


Q 
O 

< 

s 

Q 

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O 


o 

o 
o 

H 

O 

Z 

O 

o 


6o  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

To  my  intense  surprise,  however,  Lady  Georgina  flung 
herself  on  my  bed,  and  burst  into  tears.  "  My  dear,"  she 
sobbed  out,  covering  her  face  with  her  hands,  "  I  thought 
you  would  be  sure  to  set  your  cap  at  Harold  ;  and  after 
I  had  seen  you  for  twenty-four  hours,  I  said  to  myself, 
'  That's  just  the  sort  of  girl  Harold  ought  to  fall  in  love 
with.'  I  felt  sure  he  would  fall  in  love  with  you.  I 
brought  you  here  on  purpose.  I  saw  you  had  all  the 
qualities  that  would  strike  Harold's  fancy.  So  I  had  made 
up  my  mind  for  a  delightful  regulation  family  quarrel.  I 
was  going  to  oppose  you  and  Harold,  tooth  and  nail  ;  I  was 
going  to  threaten  that  Manny  would  leave  his  money  to 
Kynaston's  eldest  son  ;  I  was  going  to  kick  up,  oh,  a  dickens 
of  a  row  about  it  !  Then,  of  course,  in  the  end,  we  should 
all  have  been  reconciled  ;  we  should  have  kissed  and  made 
friends  :  for  you  're  just  the  one  girl  in  the  world  for  Harold  ; 
indeed,  I  never  met  anybody  so  capable  and  so  intelligent. 
And  now  you  spoil  all  my  sport  by  going  and  refusing  him  ! 
It  's  really  most  ill-timed  of  you.  And  Harold  has  sent  me 
here — he  's  trembling  with  anxiety — to  see  whether  I  can't 
induce  you  to  think  better  of  your  decision." 

I  made  up  my  mind  at  once.  "  No,  Lady  Georgina,"  I 
said,  in  my  gentlest  voice — positively  stooping  down  and 
kissing  her.  "  I  like  Mr.  Tillington  very  much.  I  dare  not 
tell  you  how  much  I  like  him.  He  is  a  dear,  good,  kind 
fellow.  But  I  cannot  rest  under  the  cruel  imputation  of  be- 
ing moved  by  his  wealth  and  having  tried  to  capture  him. 
Even  if  yoji  did  n't  think  so,  his  family  would.  I  am  sorry 
to  go  ;  for  in  a  way  I  like  you.  But  it  is  best  to  adhere  to 
our  original  plan.  If  /  changed  my  mind,  you  might  change 
yours  again.     Let  us  say  no  more.     I  will  go  to-morrow." 

"  But  you  will  see  Harold  again  ?  " 


The  Supercilious  Attache  6i 

"  Not  alone.  Only  at  dinner."  For  I  feared  lest,  if  he 
spoke  to  me  alone,  he  might  over-persuade  me. 

"  Then  at  least  you  will  tell  him  where  you  are  going  ?  " 

**  No,  Lady  Georgina  ;  I  do  not  know  myself.  And  be- 
sides, it  is  best  that  this  should  now  be  final." 

She  flung  herself  upon  me.  "  But,  my  dear  child,  a  lady 
can't  go  out  into  the  world  with  only  two  pounds  in  pocket. 
You  must  let  me  lend  you  something." 

I  unwound  her  clasping  hands.  "  No,  dear  Lady  Geor- 
gina," I  said,  though  I  was  loth  to  say  it.  "  You  are  very 
sweet  and  good,  but  I  must  work  out  my  life  in  my  own 
way.  I  have  started  to  work  it  out,  and  I  won't  be  turned 
aside  just  here  on  the  threshold." 

"  And  you  won't  stop  with  me  ?  "  she  cried,  opening  her 
arms.     "  You  think  me  too  cantankerous?  " 

"  I  think  you  have  a  dear,  kind  old  heart,"  I  said,  "  under 
the  quaintest  and  crustiest  outside  such  a  heart  ever  wore  ; 
you  're  a  truculent  old  darling  ;  so  that  's  the  plain  truth  of 
it." 

She  kissed  me.  I  kissed  her  in  return  with  fervour, 
though  I  am  but  a  poor  hand  at  kissing,  for  a  woman.  "  So 
now  this  episode  is  concluded,"  I  murmured. 

"  I  don't  know  about  that,"  she  said,  drying  her  eyes. 
"  I  have  set  my  heart  upon  you  now  ;  and  Karold  has  set 
his  heart  upon  j'^ou  ;  and  considering  that  your  own  heart 
goes  much  the  same  way,  I  daresay,  my  dear,  we  shall  find 
in  the  end  some  convenient  road  out  of  it." 

Nevertheless,  next  morning  I  set  out  by  myself  in  the 
coach  from  Schlangenbad.  I  went  forth  into  the  world  to 
live  my  own  life,  partly  because  it  was  just  then  so  fashion- 
able, but  mainly  because  fate  had  denied  me  the  chance  of 
living  anybody  else's. 


CHAPTER  III 

THK  ADVENTURE  OF  THE  INQUISITIVE  AMERICAN 

IN  one  week  I  had  multiplied  my  capital  two-hundred-and- 
forty-fold  !  I  left  London  with  but  twopence  in  the 
world  ;  I  quitted  Schlangenbad  with  two  pounds  in 
pocket. 

"  There  's  a  splendid  turn-over !  "  I  thought  to  myself. 
**  If  this  luck  holds,  at  the  same  rate,  I  shall  have  made  four 
hundred  and  eighty  pounds  by  Tuesday  next,  and  I  may 
look  forward  to  being  a  Barney  Barnato  by  Christmas." 
For  I  had  taken  high  mathematical  honours  at  Cambridge, 
and  if  there  is  anything  on  earth  on  which  I  pride  myself,  it 
is  my  firm  grasp  of  the  principle  of  ratios. 

Still,  in  spite  of  this  brilliant  financial  prospect,  a  budding 
Klondike,  I  went  away  from  the  little  Spa  on  the  flanks  of 
the  Taunus  with  a  heavy  heart.  I  had  grown  quite  to  like 
dear,  virulent,  fidgety  old  Lady  Georgina  ;  and  I  felt  that  it 
had  cost  me  a  distinct  wrench  to  part  with  Harold  Tillington. 
The  wrench  left  a  scar  which  was  long  in  healing  ;  but  as  I 
am  not  a  professional  sentimentalist,  I  will  not  trouble  you 
here  with  details  of  the  symptoms. 

My  livelihood,  however,  was  now  assured  me.  With  two 
pounds  in  pocket,  a  sensible  girl  can  read  her  title  clear  to 

62 


The  Inquisitive  American  63 

six  days'  board  and  lodging,  at  six  marks  a  day,  with  a 
glorious  margin  of  four  marks  over  for  pocket-money.  And 
if  at  the  end  of  six  days  my  fairy  godmother  had  not  pointed 
me  out  some  other  means  of  earning  my  bread  honestly — 
well,  I  should  feel  myself  unworthy  to  be  ranked  in  the  noble 
army  of  adventuresses.  I  thank  thee,  Lady  Georgina,  for 
teaching  me  that  word.  An  adventuress  I  would  be  ;  for  I 
loved  adventure. 

Meanwhile,  it  occurred  to  me  that  I  might  fill  up  the  in- 
terval by  going  to  study  art  at  Frankfort.  Elsie  Petheridge 
had  been  there,  and  had  impressed  upon  me  the  fact  that  I 
must  on  no  account  omit  to  see  the  Stadel  Gallery.  She  was 
strong  on  culture.  Besides,  the  study  of  art  should  be  most 
useful  to  an  adventuress  ;  for  she  must  need  all  the  arts  that 
human  skill  has  developed. 

So  to  Frankfort  I  betook  myself,  and  found  there  a  nice 
little  />e7is/on — "  for  ladies  only,"  Frau  Bockenheimer  assured 
me — at  very  moderate  rates,  in  a  pleasant  part  of  the  Linden- 
strasse.  It  had  dimity  curtains.  I  will  not  deny  that  as  I 
entered  the  house  I  was  conscious  of  feeling  lonely  ;  my 
heart  sank  once  or  twice  as  I  glanced  round  the  luncheon 
table  at  the  domestically  unsympathetic  German  old  maids 
who  formed  the  rank-and-file  of  my  fellow-boarders.  There 
they  sat — eight  comfortable  fraus  who  had  missed  their  vo- 
cation ;  plentiful  ladies,  bulging  and  surging  in  tightly- 
stretched  black  silk  bodices.  They  had  been  cut  out  for 
such  housewives  as  Harold  Tillington  had  described,  but 
found  themselves  deprived  of  their  natural  sphere  in  life  by 
the  unaccountable  caprice  of  the  men  of  their  nation.  Each 
was  a  model  Teutonic  matron  vianquic.  Each  looked  capa- 
ble of  frying  Frankfort  sausages  to  a  turn,  and  knitting 


64  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

woollen  socks  to  a  remote  eternity.  But  I  sought  in  vain  foi 
one  kindred  soul  among  them.  How  horrified  they  would 
have  been,  with  their  fat  pudding-faces  and  big  saucer-eyes, 
had  I  boldly  announced  myself  as  an  English  adventuress  ! 

I  spent  my  first  morning  in  laborious  self-education  at  the 
Ariadneu'm  and  the  Stadel  Gallery.  I  borrowed  a  catalogue. 
I  wrestled  with  Van  der  Weyden  ;  I  toiled  like  a  galley- 
slave  at  Meister  Wilhelm  and  Meister  Stephan.  I  have  a 
confused  recollection  that  I  saw  a  number  of  stiff  mediaeval 
pictures,  and  an  alabaster  statue  of  the  lady  who  smiled  as 
she  rode  on  a  tiger,  taken  at  the  beginning  of  that  interest- 
ing episode.  But  the  remainder  of  the  Institute  has  faded 
from  my  memory. 

In  the  afternoon  I  consoled  myself  for  my  herculean  efforts 
in  the  direction  of  culture  by  going  out  for  a  bicycle  ride  on 
a  hired  machine,  to  which  end  I  decided  to  devote  my 
pocket-money.  You  will,  perhaps,  object  here  that  my  con- 
duct was  imprudent.  To  raise  that  objection  is  to  misunder- 
stand the  spirit  of  these  artless  adventures.  I  told  you  that 
I  set  out  to  go  round  the  world  ;  but  to  go  round  the  world 
does  not  necessarily  mean  to  circumnavigate  it.  My  idea 
was  to  go  round  by  easy  stages,  seeing  the  world  as  I  went 
as  far  as  I  got,  and  taking  as  little  heed  as  possible  of  the 
morrow.  Most  of  my  readers,  no  doubt,  accept  that  philo- 
sophy of  life  on  Sundays  only  ;  on  week-days  they  swallow 
the  usual  contradictory  economic  platitudes  about  prudential 
forethought  and  the  horrid  improvidence  of  the  lower  classes. 
For  myself,  I  am  not  built  that  way.  I  prefer  to  take  life  in 
a  spirit  of  pure  enquiry.  I  put  on  my  hat  ;  I  saunter  where 
I  choose,  so  far  as  circumstances  permit  ;  and  I  wait  to  see 
what  chance  will  bring  me.     My  ideal  is  breeziness. 


The  Inquisitive  American  65 

The  hired  bicycle  was  not  a  bad  machine,  as  hired  bicycles 
go  ;  it  jolted  one  as  little  as  you  can  expect  from  a  common 
hack  ;  it  never  stopped  at  a  bier-garten  ;  and  it  showed  very 
few  signs  of  having  been  ridden  by  beginners  with  an  un- 
conquerable desire  to  tilt  at  the  hedgerow.  So  off  I  soared 
at  once,  heedless  of  the  jeers  of  Teutonic  youth  who  found 
the  sight  of  a  lady  in  skirts  riding  a  cycle  a  strange  one — for 
in  South  Germany  the  "  rational  "  costume  is  so  universal 
among  women  cyclists  that  't  is  the  skirt  that  provokes  un- 
favourable comment  from  those  jealous  guardians  of  female 
propriety,  the  street  boys.  I  hurried  on  at  a  brisk  pace  past 
the  Palm-garden  and  the  suburbs,  with  my  loose  hair  stray- 
ing on  the  breeze  behind,  till  I  found  myself  pedalling  at  a 
good  round  pace  on  a  broad,  level  road,  which  led  towards  a 
village,  by  name  Fraunheim. 

As  I  scurried  across  the  plain,  with  the  wind  in  my  face, 
not  unpleasantly,  I  had  some  dim  consciousness  of  somebody 
unknown  flying  after  me  headlong.  My  first  idea  was  that 
Harold  Tillington  had  hunted  me  down  and  tracked  me  to 
my  lair  ;  but  gazing  back,  I  saw  my  pursuer  was  a  tall  and 
ungainly  man,  with  a  straw-coloured  moustache,  apparently 
American,  and  that  he  was  following  me  on  his  machine, 
closely  watching  my  action.  He  had  such  a  cunning  ex- 
pression on  his  face,  and  seemed  so  strangely  inquisitive, 
with  eyes  riveted  on  my  treadles,  that  I  did  n't  quite  like 
the  look  of  him.  I  put  on  the  pace,  to  see  if  I  could  outstrip 
him,  for  I  am  a  swift  cyclist.  But  his  long  legs  were  too 
much  for  me.  He  did  not  gain  on  me,  it  is  true  ;  but  neither 
did  I  outpace  him.  Pedalling  my  very  hardest — and  I  can 
make  good  time  when  necessary — I  still  kept  pretty  much 
at  the  same  distance  in  front  of  him  all  the  way  to  Fraunheim. 


66 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


Gradually  I  began  to  feel  sure  that  the  weedj'-looking  man 
with  the  alert  face  was  really  pursuing  me.  When  I  went 
faster,  he  went  faster  too  ;  when  I  gave  him  a  chance  to  pass 
me,  he  kept  close  at  my  heels,  and  appeared  to  be  keenly 
watching  the  style  of  my  ankle-action.  I  gathered  that  he 
was  a  connoisseur  ;  but  why  on  earth  he  should  persecute  me 
I  could  not  imagine.  My  spirit  was  roused  now— I  pedalled 
with  a  will;  if  I  rode  all  day  I  would  not  let  him  go  past  me. 


«ei=?te 


HK   KKPT   CLOSK   AT   MY   HEELS. 


Be5'^ond  the  cobble-paved  chief  street  of  Fraunheim  the 
road  took  a  sharp  bend,  and  began  to  mount  the  slopes  of 
the  Taunus  suddenly.  It  was  an  abrupt,  steep  climb  ;  but 
I  flatter  myself  I  am  a  tolerable  mountain  cyclist.  I  rode 
sturdily  on  ;  my  pursuer  darted  after  me.  But  on  this  stiff 
upward  grade  my  light  weight  and  agile  ankle-action  told  ; 
I  began  to  distance  him.  He  seemed  afraid  that  I  would 
give  him  the  .slip,  and  called  out  suddenly,  with  a  whoop,  in 
English,  "  St(^p,  mi.ss  !  "     I  looked  back  with  dignity,  but 


The  Inquisitive  American 


67 


answered  nothing.     He  put  on  the  pace,  panting;  I  pedalled 
awa}'^  and  got  clear  from  him. 

At  a  turn  of  the  corner,  however,  a.s  luck  would  have  it,  I 
was  pulled  up  short  by  a  mounted  policeman.  He  blocked 
the  road  with  his  horse,  like  an  ogre,  and  asked  me,  in  a 


I   WAS   PULLET)   UP   SHORT    HY    A   MOUNTF.n    roMCF.MAN. 


very  gruff  v'^wabian  voice,  if  this  was  a  licensed  bicycle.  I 
had  no  idea,  till  he  spoke,  that  any  license  was  required  ; 
though  to  be  sure  I  might  have  guessed  it  ;  for  modern  Ger- 
many is  studded  with  notices  at  all  the  street  corners,  to  in- 
form you  in  minute  detail  that  everything  is  forl)idden.  I 
stammered  out  that  I  did  not  know.     The  mounted  police^ 


68  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

man  drew  near  and  inspected  nie  rudely.  "  It  is  strongly 
undersaid,"  he  began,  but  just  at  that  moment  my  pursuer 
came  up,  and,  with  American  quickness,  took  in  the  situa- 
tion. He  accosted  the  policeman  in  choice  bad  German. 
' '  I  have  two  licenses, ' '  he  said,  producing  a  handful.  ' '  The 
Fraulein  rides  with  me. ' '  I  was  too  much  taken  aback  at  so 
providential  an  interposition  to  contradict  this  highly  im- 
aginative statement.  My  highwayman  had  turned  into  a 
protecting  knight-errant  of  injured  innocence.  I  let  the 
policeman  go  his  way  ;  then  I  glanced  at  my  preserver.  A 
very  ordinary  modern  St.  George  he  looked,  with  no  lance 
to  speak  of,  and  no  steed  but  a  bicycle.  Yet  his  mien  was 
reassuring. 

"  Good-morning,  miss,"  he  began — he  called  me  "  miss  " 
ev^ery  time  he  addressed  me,  as  though  he  took  me  for  a  bar- 
maid. "  Ex-cuse  mc,  but  why  did  you  want  to  speed 
her?" 

"  I  thought  you  were  pursuing  me,  '  I  answered,  a  little 
tremulous,  I  will  confess,  but  avid  of  incident. 

"  And  if  I  was,"  he  went  on,  "  you  might  have  con- 
jectured, miss,  it  was  for  our  nuitual  advantage.  A  busi- 
ness man  don't  go  out  of  his  way  unless  he  expects  to  turn 
an  honest  dollar  ;  and  he  don't  reckon  on  other  folks  going 
out  of  theirs,  unless  he  knows  he  can  put  them  in  the  way 
of  turning  an  honest  dollar  with  him." 

"  That  's  reasonable,"  I  answered  ;  for  I  am  a  political 
economist.  "  The  benefit  should  be  mutual."  But  I  won- 
dered if  he  were  going  to  propose  at  sight  to  me. 

He  looked  me  all  up  and  down.  "  You  're  a  lady  of  con- 
siderable personal  attractions,"  he  said,  musingly,  as  if  he 
were  criticising  a  horse  ;  ' '  and  I  want  one  that  sort.     That '  s 


The  Inquisitive  American 


69 


jest  why  I  trailed  you,  see  ?     Besides  which,  there  's  some 
style  about  you." 

"Style  !"  I  repeated. 


SEEMS   I    DIU  N  T   MAKE  MUCH   OK   A   JOU   OF   IT. 


"  Yes,"  he  went  on  ;  "  you  know  how  to  use  your  feet  ; 
and  you  have  good  understandings." 

I  gathered  from  his  glance  that  he  referred  to  my  nether 
limbs.  We  are  all  vertebrate  animals  ;  why  seek  to  conceal 
the  fact  ? 


70  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  I  fail  to  follow  you,"  I  answered  frigidly  ;  for  I  really 
did  n't  know  what  the  man  might  say  next. 

"  That  's  so  !  "  he  replied.  "  It  was  /that  foil o wed jj/^?</ 
seems  I  did  n't  make  much  of  a  job  of  it,  either,  anyway." 

I  mounted  my  machine  again.  "  Well,  good-morning,"  I 
said,  coldly.  "  I  am  much  obliged  for  your  kind  assistance  ; 
but  your  remark  was  fictitious,  and  I  desire  to  go  on  un- 
accompanied." 

He  held  up  his  hand  in  warning.  "  You  ain't  going  !  " 
he  cried,  horrified.  "  You  ain't  going  without  hearing  me  ! 
I  mean  business  !  Say,  don't  chuck  away  good  money  like 
that.     I  tell  you,  there  's  dollars  in  it." 

"  In  what  ?  "  I  asked,  still  moving  on,  but  curious.  On 
the  slope,  if  need  were,  I  could  easily  distance  him. 

"  Why,  in  this  cycling  of  yours,"  he  replied.  "  You  're 
jest  about  the  very  woman  I  'm  looking  for,  miss.  Lithe — 
that 's  what  I  call  you.  I  kin  put  you  in  the  way  of  making 
your  pile,  I  kin.  This  is  a  bona-Jide  offer.  No  flies  on  my 
business!  You  decline  it?  Prejudice!  Injures  you;  in- 
jures me  !     Be  reasonable  anj'way  !  " 

I  looked  around  and  laughed.  "  Formulate  yourself, "  I 
said,  briefly. 

He  rose  to  it  like  a  man.  "  Meet  me  at  Fraunheim  ;  cor- 
ner by  the  Post-office  ;  ten  o'clock  to-morrow  morning,"  he 
shouted,  as  I  rode  off,  "  and  ef  I  don't  convince  you  there  's 
money  in  this  job,  my  name  's  not  Cyrus  W.  Hitchcock." 

Something  about  his  keen,  unlovely  face  impressed  me 
with  a  .sense  of  his  underlying  honesty.  "  Very  well,"  I 
answered,  "  I  '11  come,  if  you  follow  me  no  farther."  I  re- 
flected that  PVaunheim  was  a  populous  village,  and  that  only 
beyond  it  did  the  mountain  road  over  the  Taunus  begin  to 


The  Inquisitive  American  ']\ 

grow  lonely.  If  he  wished  to  cut  my  throat,  I  was  well 
within  reach  of  the  resources  of  civilisation. 

When  I  got  home  to  the  Abode  of  Blighted  Fraus  that 
evening,  I  debated  seriously  with  myself  whether  or  not  I 
should  accept  Mr.  Cyrus  \V.  Hitchcock's  mysterious  invita- 
tion. Prudence  said  110 ;  curiosity  saidj^.?/  I  put  the  ques- 
tion to  a  meeting  of  one  ;  and,  since  I  am  a  daughter  of  Kve, 
curiosity  had  it.  Carried  unanimously.  I  think  I  might 
have  hesitated,  indeed,  had  it  not  been  for  the  Blighted 
Fraus.  Their  talk  was  of  dinner  and  of  the  digestive  pro- 
cess ;  they  were  critics  of  digestion.  They  each  of  them  sat 
so  complacently  through  the  evening — solid  and  stolid, 
stodgy  and  podgy,  stuffed  comatose  images,  knitting  white 
woollen  shawls,  to  throw  over  their  capacious  shoulders  at 
tablc-d' hotc — and  they  purred  in  such  content  in  their  middle- 
aged  rotundity  that  I  made  up  my  mind  I  must  take  warn- 
ing betimes,  and  avoid  their  temptations  to  adipose  deposit. 
I  prefer  to  grow  upwards  ;  the  frau  grows  sideways.  Better 
get  my  throat  cut  by  an  American  desperado,  in  my  pursuit 
of  romance,  than  settle  down  on  a  rock  like  a  placid  fat 
oyster.     I  am  not  by  nature  sessile. 

Adventures  are  to  the  adventurous.  They  abound  on 
every  side  ;  but  only  the  chosen  few  have  the  courage  to 
embrace  them.  And  they  will  not  come  to  you  :  you  nuist 
go  out  to  seek  them.  Then  they  meet  you  halfway,  and 
rush  into  your  arms,  for  they  know  their  true  lovers.  There 
were  eight  Blighted  Fraus  at  the  Home  for  Lost  Ideals,  and 
I  could  tell  by  simple  inspection  that  they  had  not  had  an 
average  of  half  an  adventure  per  lifetime  between  them. 
They  sat  and  knitted  still,  like  Awful  Examples. 

If  I  had  declined  to  meet  Mr.  Hitchcock  at  Fraunheim,  I 


\.  -. 


72  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

know  not  what  changes  it  might  have  induced  in  my  life. 
I  might  now  be  knitting.  But  I  went  boldly  forth,  on  a  voy- 
age of  exploration,  prepared  to  accept  aught  that  fate  held  in 
store  for  me. 

As  Mr.  Hitchcock  had  assured  me  there  was  money  in  his 
offer,  I  felt  justified  in  speculating.  I  expended  another 
three  marks  on  the  hire  of  a  bicycle,  though  I  ran  the  risk 
thereby  of  going,  perhaps,  without  Monday's  dinner.  That 
showed  my  vocation..  The  Blighted  Fraus,  I  felt  sure,  would 
have  clung  to  their  dinner  at  all  hazards. 

When  I  arrived  at  Fraunheim,  I  found  my  alert  American 
punctually  there  before  me.  He  raised  his  crushed  hat  with 
awkward  politeness.  I  could  see  he  was  little  accustomed 
to  ladies'  society.  Then  he  pointed  to  a  close  cab  in  which 
he  had  reached  the  village. 

"  I  've  got  it  inside,"  he  whispered,  in  a  confidential  tone. 
"  I  could  n't  let  'em  ketch  sight  of  it.  You  see,  there  's 
dollars  in  it." 

"What  have  you  got  inside?"  I  asked,  suspiciously, 
drawing  back.  I  don't  know  why,  but  the  word  "  it  "  some- 
how siiggested  a  corpse  ;  I  began  to  grow  frightened. 

"  Why,  the  wheel,  of  course,"  he  answered.  "  Ain't  you 
come  here  to  ride  it  ?  " 

"  Oh,  the  wheel  ?  "  I  echoed,  vaguely,  pretending  to  look 
wise  ;  but  unaware,  as  yet,  that  that  word  was  the  accepted 
Americanism  for  a  bicycle.  "  And  I  have  come  to  ride 
it?" 

"  Why,  certainly,"  he  replied,  jerking  his  hand  towards 
the  cab.  "  But  we  must  n't  start  right  here.  This  thing 
has  got  to  be  kept  dark,  don't  you  see,  till  the  last  day." 

Till  the  last  day  !    That  was  ominous.     It  sounded  like 


The  Inquisitive  American  72) 

monomania.  So  ghostly  and  elusive  !  I  began  to  suspect 
my  American  ally  of  being  a  dangerous  madman. 

"  Jest  you  wheel  away  a  bit  up  the  hill,"  he  went  on,  "  out 
o'  sight  of  the  folks,  and  I  '11  fetch  her  along  to  you." 

*'  Her  ?  "  I  cried.     "  Who  ?  "  for  the  man  bewildered  me. 

"  Why,  the  wheel,  miss  !  Vott  understand  !  This  is  busi- 
ness, you  bet  !     And  you  're  jest  the  right  woman  !  " 

He  motioned  me  on.  Urged  by  a  sort  of  spell,  I  re- 
mounted my  machine  and  rode  out  of  the  village.  He 
followed,  on  the  box-seat  of  his  cab.  Then,  when  we  had 
left  the  world  well  behind,  and  stood  among  the  sun-smitten 
boles  of  the  pine-trees,  he  opened  the  door  mysteriously,  and 
produced  from  the  vehicle  a  very  odd-looking  bicycle. 

It  was  clumsy  to  look  at.  It  differed  immensely,  in  many 
particulars,  from  any  machine  I  had  yet  seen  or  ridden.  The 
strenuous  American  fondled  it  for  a  moment  with  his  hand, 
as  if  it  were  a  pet  child.  Then  he  mounted  nimbly.  Pride 
shone  in  his  eye.     I  saw  in  a  second  he  was  a  fond  inventor. 

He  rode  a  few  yards  on.  Next  he  turned  to  me  eagerly. 
"  This  ma-chine,"  he  said,  in  an  impressive  voice,  "  is  pro- 
pelled dy  an  eccentric."  Like  all  his  countrymen,  he  laid 
most  stress  on  unaccented  syllables. 

"  Oh,  I  knew  you  were  an  eccentric,"  I  said,  *'  the  mo- 
ment I  set  eyes  upon  you." 

He  surveyed  me  gravely.  "  You  misunderstand  me, 
miss,"  he  corrected.  "  IV/iai  I  say  an  eccentric,  I  mean  a 
crank." 

"  They  are  much  the  same  thing,"  I  answered,  briskly. 
"  Though  I  confess  I  would  hardly  have  applied  so  rude  a 
word  as  crank  to  you." 

He  looked  me  over  suspiciously,  as  if  I  were  trying  to 


74  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

make  game  of  him,  but  my  face  was  sphinx-like.  So  he 
brought  the  machine  a  yard  or  two  nearer,  and  explained  its 
construction  to  me.  He  was  quite  right  :  it  was  driven  by 
a  crank.  It  had  no  chain,  but  was  moved  by  a  pedal,  work- 
ing narrowly  up  and  down,  and  attached  to  a  rigid  bar,  which 
impelled  the  wheels  by  means  of  an  eccentric. 

Besides  this,  it  had  a  curious  device  for  altering  the  gear- 
ing automatically  while  one  rode,  so  as  to  enable  one  to 
adapt  it  to  the  varying  slope  in  mounting  hills.  This  part 
of  the  mechanism  he  explained  to  me  elaborately.  There 
was  a  gauge  in  front  which  allowed  one  to  sight  the  steep- 
ness of  the  slope  by  mere  inspection  ;  and  according  as  the 
gauge  marked  one,  two,  three,  or  four,  as  its  gradient  on  the 
scale,  the  rider  pressed  a  button  on  the  handle-bar  with  his 
left  hand  once,  twice,  thrice,  or  four  times,  so  that  the  gear- 
ing adapted  itself  without  an  effort  to  the  rise  in  the  surface. 
Besides,  there  were  devices  for  rigidity  and  compensation. 
Altogether,  it  was  a  most  apt  and  ingenious  piece  of  mechan- 
ism.    I  did  not  wonder  he  was  proud  of  it. 

"  Get  up  and  ride,  miss,"  he  said,  in  a  persuasive  voice. 

I  did  as  I  was  bid.  To  my  immense  surprise,  I  ran  up  the 
steep  hill  as  smoothly  and  easily  as  if  it  were  a  perfectly  laid 
level. 

"  Goes  nicely,  does  n't  she  ?  "  Mr.  Hitchcock  murmured, 
rubbing  his  hands. 

"Beautifully,"  I  answered.  "One  could  ride  such  a 
machine  up  Mont  Blanc,  I  should  fancy." 

He  stroked  his  chin  with  nervous  fingers.  "  It  ought  to 
knock  'em,"  he  said,  in  an  eager  voice.  "  It  's  geared  to 
run  up  most  anything  in  creation." 

"  How  steep?" 


The  Inquisitive  American  75 

"  One  foot  in  three." 

"That 's  good." 

"  Yes.     It  '11  climb  Mount  Washington." 

"  What  do  you  call  it  ?  "  I  asked. 

He  looked  me  over  with  close  scrutiny. 

"In  Amurrica,"  he  said,  slowly,  "  we  call  it  the  Great 
Manitou,  because  it  kin  do  pretty  well  what  it  chooses  ;  but 
in  Europe,  I  am  thinking  of  calling  it  the  Martin  Conway  or 
the  Whymper,  or  something  like  that." 

"Why  so?" 

"  Well,  because  it  's  a  famous  mountain  climber." 

"  I  see,"  I  said.  "  With  such  a  machine  you  '11  put  a 
notice  on  the  Matterhorn,  '  This  hill  is  dangerous  to 
cyclists.'  " 

He  laughed  low  to  himself,  and  rubbed  his  hands  again. 
"  You  '11  do,  miss,"  he  said.  "  You  're  the  right  sort,  you 
are.  The  moment  I  seen  you,  I  thought  we  two  could  do  a 
trade  together.  Benefits  me  ;  benefits  you.  A  mutual  ad- 
vantage. Reciprocity  is  the  soul  of  business.  You  hev  some 
go  in  you,  you  hev.  There  's  money  in  your  feet.  You  '11 
give  these  Meinherrs  fits.  You  '11  take  the  clear  starch  out 
of  them." 

"  I  fail  to  catch  on,"  I  answered,  speaking  his  own  dialect 
to  humour  him. 

"  Oh,  you  '11  get  there  all  the  same,"  he  replied,  stroking 
his  machine  meanwhile.  "  It  was  a  squirrel,  it  was  !  "  (He 
pronounced  it  squirl.)  "  It  'ud  run  up  a  tree  ef  it  wanted, 
would  n't  it  ?  "  He  was  talking  to  it  now  as  if  it  were  a  dog 
or  a  baby.  "  There,  there,  it  must  n't  kick  ;  it  was  a  frisky 
little  thing  !  Jest  you  step  up  on  it,  miss,  and  have  a  go  at 
that  there  mountain." 


76  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

I  stepped  up  and  had  a  "  go."  The  machine  bounded 
forward  like  an  agile  greyhound.  You  had  but  to  touch  it, 
and  it  ran  of  itself.  Never  had  I  ridden  so  vivacious,  so  ani- 
mated a  cycle.  I  returned  to  him,  sailing,  with  the  gradient 
reversed.  The  Manitou  glided  smoothly,  as  on  a  gentle 
slope,  without  the  need  for  back-pedalling. 

"  It  soars  !  "  he  remarked,  with  enthusiasm. 

**  Balloons  are  at  a  discount  beside  it,"  I  answered. 

"  Now  you  want  to  know  about  this  business,  I  guess," 
he  went  on.  "  You  want  to  know  jest  where  the  reciprocity 
comes  in,  anyhow  ?  " 

"  I  am  ready  to  hear  you  expound,"  I  admitted,  smil- 
ing. 

**  Oh,  it  ain't  all  on  one  side,"  he  continued,  eying  his 
machine  at  an  angle  with  parental  affection.  "  I  'm  a-going 
to  make  your  fortune  right  here.  You  shall  ride  her  for  me 
on  the  last  day  ;  and  ef  you  pull  this  thing  off,  don't  you  be 
scared  that  I  won't  treat  you  handsome." 

"  If  you  were  a  little  more  succinct,"  I  said,  gravely, 
"  we  should  get  forrader  faster."  ^ 

"  Perhaps  you  wonder,"  he  put  in,  "  that  with  money  on 
it  like  this,  I  should  intrust  the  job  into  the  hands  of  a 
female."  I  winced,  but  was  silent.  "  Well,  it  's  like  this, 
don't  you  see  ;  ef  a  female  wins,  it  makes  success  all  the 
more  striking  and  con-spicuous.  The  world  to-day  is  ruled 
by  adver/w^ment." 

I  could  stand  it  no  longer.  "  Mr.  Hitchcock,"  I  said, 
with  dignity,  "  I  have  n't  the  remotest  idea  what  on  earth 
you  are  talking  about." 

He  gazed  at  me  with  surprise.  "  What  ?  "  he  exclaimed, 
at  last.     "  And  you  kin  cycle  like  that  !     Not  know  what 


The  In([iiisitivc  American  ']^ 

all  the  cycling  world  is  mad  about  ?  Why,  you  don't  mean 
to  tell  me  you  're  not  a  professional  ?  " 

I  enlightened  him  at  once  as  to  my  position  in  society, 
which  was  respectable  if  not  lucrative.  His  face  fell  some- 
what. "  High-toned,  eh?  Still,  you  'd  run  all  the  same, 
would  n't  you  ?  "  he  inquired. 

"Run  for  what?"  I  asked,  innocently.  "Parliament? 
The  Presidency  ?     The  Frankfort  Town  Council  ?  " 

He  had  difficulty  in  fathoming  the  depths  of  my  ignorance. 
But  by  degrees  I  understood  him.  It  seemed  that  the  Ger- 
man Imperial  and  Prussian  Royal  Governments  had  offered 
a  Kaiserly  and  Kingly  prize  for  the  best  military  bicycle  ; 
the  course  to  be  run  over  the  Taunus,  from  Frankfort  to 
Limburg  ;  the  winning  machine  to  get  the  equivalent  of  a 
thousand  pounds  ;  each  firm  to  supply  its  own  make  and 
rider.  The  "  last  day  "  was  Saturday  next  ;  and  the  Great 
Manitou  was  the  dark  horse  of  the  contest. 

Then  all  was  clear  as  day  to  me.  Mr.  Cyrus  W.  Hitch- 
cock was  keeping  his  machine  a  profound  secret  ;  he  wanted 
a  woman  to  ride  it,  so  that  his  triumph  might  be  the  more  com- 
plete ;  and  the  moment  he  saw  me  pedal  up  the  hill,  in  trying 
to  avoid  him,  he  recognised  at  once  that  I  was  that  woman. 

I  recognised  it  too.  'T  was  a  pre-ordained  harmony. 
After  two  or  three  trials  I  felt  that  the  Manitou  was  built 
for  me,  and  I  was  built  for  the  Manitou.  We  ran  together 
like  parts  of  one  mechanism.  I  was  always  famed  for  my 
circular  ankle-action  ;  and  in  this  new  machine,  ankle-action 
was  everything.  Strength  of  limb  counted  for  naught ;  what 
told  was  the  power  of  "clawing  up  again"  promptly.  I 
possess  that  power  ;  I  have  prehistoric  feet  ;  my  remote  pro- 
genitors must  certainly  have  been  tree-haunting  monkeys. 


78  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


We  arranged  terms  then  and  there. 

"You  accept?" 

"  Implicitly." 

If  I  "  pulled  off"  the  race,  I  was  to  have  fifty  pounds.  If 
I  did  n't,  I  was  to  have  five.  "  It  ain't  only  your  skill,  you 
see,"  Mr.  Hitchcock  said,  with  frank  commercialism.  "  It 's 
your  personal  attractiveness  as  well  that  I  go  upon.  That 's 
an  element  to  consider  in  business  relations." 

"  My  face  is  my  fortune,"  I  answered,  gravely.  He 
nodded  acquiescence. 

Till  Saturday,  then,  I  was  free.  Meanwhile,  I  trained, 
and  practised  quietly  with  the  Manitou,  in  sequestered  parts 
of  the  hills.  I  also  took  spells,  turn  about,  at  the  SiaJel 
Institute.  I  like  to  intersperse  culture  and  athletics.  I 
know  something  about  athletics,  and  hope  in  time  to  acquire 
a  taste  for  culture.  'T  is  expected  of  a  Girton  girl,  though 
my  own  accomplishments  run  rather  towards  rowing,  punt- 
ing, and  bicycling. 

On  Saturday,  I  confess,  I  rose  with  great  misgivings.  I 
was  not  a  professional  ;  and  to  find  oneself  practically  backed 
for  a  thousand  pounds  in  a  race  against  men  is  a  trifle  dis- 
quieting. Still,  having  once  put  my  hand  to  the  plough,  I 
felt  I  was  bound  to  pull  it  through  somehow.  I  dressed  my 
hair  neatly,  in  a  very  tight  coil.  I  ate  a  light  breakfast, 
eschewing  the  fried  sausages  which  the  Blighted  Fraus 
pressed  upon  my  notice,  and  satisfying  myself  with  a  gently 
boiled  egg  and  .some  toast  and  coffee.  I  always  found  I 
rowed  best  at  Cambridge  on  the  lightest  diet  ;  in  my  opinion, 
the  raw-beef  r6y;ime  is  a  serious  error  in  training. 

At  a  minute  or  two  before  eleven  I  turned  up  at  the 
Schiller  Platz  in  my  short  serge  dress  and  cycling  jacket. 


The  Inquisitive  American  79 

The  great  square  was  thronged  with  spectators  to  see  the 
start ;  the  police  made  a  lane  through  their  midst  for  the 
riders.  My  backer  had  advised  me  to  come  to  the  post  as 
late  as  possible,  "  For  I  have  entered  your  name,"  he  said, 
"  simply  as  Lois  Cayley.  These  Deutschers  don't  think  but 
what  you  're  a  man  and  a  brother.  But  I  am  apprehensive 
of  con-tingencies.  When  you  put  in  a  show  they  '11  try  to 
raise  objections  to  you  on  account  of  your  being  a  female. 
There  won't  be  much  time,  though,  and  I  shall  rush  the  ob- 
jections. Once  they  let  you  run  and  win,  it  don't  matter  to 
me  whether  I  get  the  twenty  thousand  marks  or  not.  It  's 
the  adver/wrment  that  tells.  Jest  you  mark  my  words,  miss, 
and  don't  you  make  no  mistake  about  it — the  world  is  gov- 
erned to-day  by  adver/Z^nnent. " 

So  I  turned  up  at  the  last  moment,  and  cast  a  timid  glance 
at  my  competitors.  They  were  all  men,  of  course,  and  two 
of  them  were  German  officers  in  a  sort  of  undress  cycling 
uniform.  They  eyed  me  superciliously.  One  of  them  went 
up  and  spoke  to  the  Herr  Over-Superintendent  who  had 
charge  of  the  contest.  I  understood  him  to  be  lodging  an 
objection  against  a  mere  woman  taking  part  in  the  race. 
The  Herr  Over-Superintendent,  a  bulky  official,  came  up  be- 
side me  and  perpended  visibly.  He  bent  his  big  brows  to  it. 
'T  was  appalling  to  observe  the  measurable  amount  of  Teu- 
tonic cerebration  going  on  under  cover  of  his  round,  green 
glasses.  He  was  perpending  for  some  minutes.  Time  was 
almost  up.  Then  he  turned  to  Mr.  Hitchcock,  having 
finally  made  up  his  colossal  mind,  and  murmured  rudely, 
"  The  woman  cannot  compete." 

"  Why  not?"  I  inquired,  in  my  very  sweetest  German, 
with  an  angelic  smile,  though  my  heart  trembled. 


8o  Miss-  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  Warum  iiiclit  ?  Because  the  word  'rider'  in  the 
Kaiserly  and  Kingly  for-this-contest-provided  decree  is  dis- 
tinctly in  the  masculine  gender  stated." 

"  Pardon  me,  Herr  Over-Superintendent,"  I  replied,  pull- 
ing out  a  copy  of  Law  97  on  this  subject,  with  which  I  had 
duly  provided  myself,  "  if  you  will  to  Section  45  of  the 
Bicycles-Circulation-Regulation-Act  your  attention  turn,  you 
will  find  it  therein  expressly  enacted  that  unless  any  clause 
be  anywhere  to  the  contrary  inserted,  the  word  '  rider,'  in 
the  masculine  gender  put,  shall  here  the  word  '  rideress  '  In 
the  feminine  to  embrace  be  considered." 

For,  anticipating  this  objection,  I  had  taken  the  precau- 
tion to  look  the  legal  question  up  beforehand. 

"  That  is  true,"  the  Herr  Over-Superintendent  observed, 
in  a  musing  voice,  gazing  down  at  me  with  relenting  eyes. 
"  The  masculine  habitually  embraces  the  feminine."  And 
he  brought  his  massive  intellect  to  bear  upon  the  problem 
once  more  with  prodigious  concentration. 

I  seized  my  opportunity.  "  Let  me  start,  at  least,"  I 
urged,  holding  out  the  Act.  "  If  I  win,  you  can  the  matter 
more  fully  with  the  Kaiserly  and  Kingly  Governments  here- 
after argue  out." 

"  I  guess  this  will  be  an  international  affair, "  Mr.  Hitch- 
cock remarked,  well  pleased.  "  It  would  be  a  first-rate 
adver/Z^nuent  for  the  Great  Manitou  ef  England  and  Ger- 
many were  to  make  the  question  into  a  casus  belli.  The 
United  States  could  look  on,  and  pocket  the  chestnuts." 

"  Two  minutes  to  go!  "  the  official  starter  with  the  watch 
called  out. 

"  Fall  in,  then,  Fraulein  Englanderin,"  the  Herr  Over- 
Superintendent  observed,  without  prejudice,  waving  me  into 


The  Inquisitive  American  8i 

Hue,  He  pinned  a  badge  with  a  large  number,  7,  on  my 
dress.  "  The  Kaiserly  and  Kingly  Governments  shall  on 
the  affair  of  the  starting's  legality  hereafter  on  my  report 
more  at  leisure  pass  judgment." 

The  lieutenant  in  undress  uniform  drew  back  a  little. 

"  Oh,  if  this  is  to  be  woman's  play,"  he  muttered,  "  then 
can  a  Prussian  officer  himself  by  competing  not  into  con- 
tempt bring. " 

I  dropped  a  little  curtsy.     "  If  the  Herr  Lieutenant  is 

afraid  even  to  enter  against  an  Englishwoman "  I  said, 

smiling. 

He  came  up  to  the  scratch  sullenly.  "  One  minute  to 
go  !  "  called  out  the  starter. 

We  were  all  on  the  alert.  There  was  a  pause  ;  a  deep 
breath.  I  was  horribly  frightened,  but  I  tried  to  look  calm. 
Then  sharp  and  quick  came  the  word,  "  Go  !  "  And  like 
arrows  from  a  bow,  off  we  all  started. 

I  had  ridden  over  the  whole  course  the  day  but  one  be- 
fore, on  a  mountain  pony,  with  an  observant  eye  and  n\y 
sedulous  American — rising  at  five  o'clock,  so  as  not  to  excite 
undue  attention  ;  and  I  therefore  knew  beforehand  the  exact 
route  we  were  to  follow  ;  but  I  confess  when  I  saw  the  Prus- 
sian lieutenant  and  one  of  my  other  competitors  dash  forward 
at  a  pace  that  simply  astonished  me,  that  fifty  pounds  seemed 
to  melt  away  in  the  dim  abyss  of  the  Ewigkeit.  I  gave  up 
all  for  lost.  I  could  never  make  the  running  against  such 
practised  cyclists. 

However,  we  all  turned  out  into  the  open  road  which  leads 
across  the  plain  and  down  the  Main  Valley,  in  the  direction 
of  Mayence.  For  the  first  ten  miles  or  so,  it  is  a  dusty  level. 
The  surface  is  perfect  ;  but  't  was  a  blinding  white  thread. 

6 


82 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


As  I  toiled  along  it,  that  broiling  June  day,  I  could  hear 
the  voice  of  my  backer,  who  followed  on  horseback,  exhorting 


"  DON  T   SCORCH,    MISS;    DON  T   SCOKCH. 

me  in  loud  tones,  "  Don't  scorch,  miss  ;  don't  scorch  ;  never 
mind  ef  you  lose  sight  of  'em.  Keep  your  wind  ;  that 's  the 
point.  The  wind,  the  wind  's  everything.  Let  'em  beat 
you  on  the  level  ;  you  '11  catch  'em  up  fast  enough  when 
you  get  on  the  Taunus  !  " 

But  in  spite  of  his  encouragement,  I  almost  lost  heart  as  I 
saw  one  after  another  of  my  opponents'  backs  disappear  in 
the  distance,  till  at  last  I  was  left  toiling  along  the  bare 
white  road  alone,  in  a  shower-bath  of  sunlight,  with  just  a 


The  Inquisitive  American  ^3 

dense  cloud  of  dust  rising  grey  far  ahead  of  me.  My  head 
swam.     It  repented  me  of  my  boldness. 

Then  the  riders  on  horseback  began  to  grumble  ;  for  by 
police  regulation  they  were  not  allowed  to  pass  the  hindmost 
of  the  cyclists  ;  and  they  were  kept  back  by  my  presence 
from  following  up  their  special  champions.  "  Give  it  up! 
Fraulein,  give  it  up  !  "  they  cried.  "  You  're  beaten. 
You  're  beaten !  I,et  us  pass  and  get  forward !  "  But  at  the 
self-same  moment,  I  heard  the  shrill  voice  of  my  American 
friend  whooping  aloud  across  the  din  :  "  Don't  you  do  no- 
thing of  the  sort,  miss  !  You  stick  to  it,  and  keep  your 
wind  !  It 's  the  wind  that  wins  !  Them  Germans  won't  be 
worth  a  cent  on  the  high  slopes,  anyway  !  " 

Encouraged  by  his  voice,  I  worked  steadily  on,  neither 
scorching  nor  relaxing,  but  maintaining  an  even  pace  at  my 
natural  pitch  under  the  broiling  sunshine.  Heat  rose  in 
waves  on  my  face  from  the  road  below  ;  in  the  thin  white 
dust  the  accusing  tracks  of  six  wheels  confronted  me.  Still 
I  kept  on  following  them,  till  I  reached  the  town  of  Hochst 
— nine  miles  from  Frankfort.  Soldiers  along  the  route  were 
timing  us  at  intervals  with  chronometers,  and  noting  our 
numbers.  As  I  rattled  over  the  paved  High  Street,  I  called 
aloud  to  one  of  them.     "  How  far  ahead  the  last  man  ?  " 

He  shouted  back,  good-humouredly  :  "  Four  minutes, 
Fraulein." 

Again  I  lost  heart.  Then  I  mounted  a  slight  slope,  and 
felt  how  easily  the  Manitou  moved  up  the  gradient.  From 
its  summit  I  could  note  a  long  grey  cloud  of  dust  rolling 
steadily  onward  down  the  hill  towards  Hattersheim. 

I  coasted  down,  with  my  feet  up,  and  a  slight  breeze  just 
cooling    me.      Mr.    Hitchcock,    behind,    called    out,    full- 


84  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

throated,  from  his  seat  :  "  No  hurry  !  No  flurry  !  Take 
your  time  !     Take — your — time,  miss  !  " 

Over  the  bridge  at  Hattersheim  you  turn  to  the  right 
abruptly,  and  begin  to  mount  by  the  side  of  a  pretty  little 
stream,  the  Schwarzbach,  which  runs  brawling  over  rocks 
down  the  Taunus  from  Eppstein.  By  this  time  the  excite- 
ment had  somewhat  cooled  down  for  the  moment ;  I  was 
getting  reconciled  to  be  beaten  on  the  level,  and  began  to 
realise  that  my  chances  would  be  best  as  we  approached  the 
steepest  bits  of  the  mountain  road  about  Niederhausen.  So 
I  positively  plucked  up  heart  to  look  about  me  and  enjoy  the 
scenery.  With  hair  flying  behind — that  coil  had  played  me 
false— I  swept  through  Hofheim,  a  pleasant  little  village  at 
the  mouth  of  a  grassy  valley  inclosed  by  wooded  slopes,  the 
Schwarzbach  making  cool  music  in  the  glen  below  as  I 
mounted  beside  it.  Clambering  larches,  like  huge  cande- 
labra, stood  out  on  the  ridge,  silhouetted  against  the  skyline. 

"  How  far  ahead  the  last  man  ?  "  I  cried  to  the  recording 
soldier.     He  answered  me  back,  "  Two  minutes,  Fraulein." 

I  was  gaining  on  them  ;  I  was  gaining  !  I  thundered 
across  the  Schwarzbach,  bj*  half-a-dozen  clamorous  little  iron 
bridges,  making  easy  time  now,  and  with  my  feet  working 
as  if  they  were  themselves  an  integral  part  of  the  machinery. 
Up,  up,  up  ;  it  looked  a  vertical  ascent  ;  the  Manitou  glided 
well  in  its  oil-batli  at  its  half-way  gearing,  I  rode  for  dear 
life.  At  sixteen  miles,  Lorsbach  ;  at  eighteen,  Eppstein  ; 
the  road  still  rising.  "How  far  ahead  the  last  man?" 
"  Just  round  the  corner,  Fraulein  !  " 

I  put  on  a  little  steam.  Sure  enough,  round  the  corner  I 
caught  sight  of  his  back.  With  a  spurt,  I  passed  him — a 
dust-covered  soul,  very  hot  and  uncomfortable.     He  had  not 


The  Inquisitive  American  85 

kept  his  wind  ;  I  flew  past  him  like  a  whirlwind.  But,  oh, 
how  sultry  hot  in  that  sweltering,  close  valley  !  A  pretty 
little  town,  Eppstein,  with  its  mediaeval  castle  perched  high 
on  a  craggy  rock.  I  owed  it  some  gratitude,  I  felt,  as  I  left 
it  behind,  for  't  was  here  that  I  came  up  with  the  tail-end  of 
my  opponents. 

That  one  victory  cheered  me.  So  far,  our  route  had  lain 
along  the  well-made  but  dusty  highroad  in  the  steaming 
valley;  at  Nieder-Josbach ,  two  miles  on,  we  quitted  the  road 
abruptly,  by  the  course  marked  out  for  us,  and  turned  up  a 
mountain  path,  only  wide  enough  for  two  cycles  abreast — a 
path  that  clambered  towards  the  higher  slopes  of  the  Taunus. 
That  was  arranged  on  purpose — for  this  was  no  fair-weather 
show — but  a  practical  trial  for  military  bicycles,  under  the 
conditions  they  might  meet  with  in  actual  warfare.  It  was 
rugged  riding  :  black  walls  of  pine  rose  steep  on  either  hand  ; 
the  ground  was  uncertain.  Our  path  mounted  sharply  from 
the  first  ;  the  steeper  the  better.  By  the  time  I  had  reached 
Ober-Josbach,  nestling  high  among  larch-woods,  I  had  dis- 
tanced all  but  two  of  my  opponents.  It  was  cooler  now  too. 
As  I  passed  the  hamlet  my  cry  altered. 

* '  How  far  ahead  the  first  man  ?  " 

"  Two  minutes,  Fraulein." 

"A  civilian?" 

"  No,  no  ;  a  Prussian  officer." 

The  Herr  Lieutenant  led,  then.  For  Old  England's  sake, 
I  felt  I  must  beat  him. 

The  steepest  slope  of  all  lay  in  the  next  two  miles.  If  I 
were  going  to  win  I  must  pass  these  two  there,  for  my  ad- 
vantage lay  all  in  the  climb  ;  if  it  came  to  coasting,  the  men's 
mere  weight  scored  a  point  in  their  favour.     Bump,  crash, 


86 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


jolt  !  I  pednlled  away  like  a  machine  ;  the  Manitou  sobbed  ; 
my  ankles  flew  round  so  that  I  scarcely  felt  them.  But  the 
road  was  rough  and  scarred  with  waterways — ruts  turned  by 
rain  to  runnels.  At  half  a  mile,  after  a  desperate  struggle 
among  sand  and  pebbles,  I  pa.ssed  the  second  man  ;  just 


"HOW   FAR  AHKAD  THE   FIRST  MAN?" 


ahead,  the  Prussian  officer  looked  round  and  saw  me 
"Thunder-weather!  you  there,  Englanderin  ?  "  he  cried, 
darting  me  a  look  of  unchivalrous  dislike,  such  as  only  your 
sentimental  German  can  cast  at  a  woman. 

"  Yes,  I  am  here,  behind  you,  Herr  Lieutenant,"  I  an- 
swered, putting  on  a  spurt  ;  "  and  I  hope  next  to  be  before 
you." 

He  answered  not  a  word,  but  worked  his  hardest.     So  did 


The  Inquisitive  American 


87 


I.  He  bent  forward  ;  I  sat  erect  on  my  Manitou,  pullinj; 
hard  at  my  handles.  Now  my  front  wheel  was  upon  him. 
It  reached  his  pedal.  We  were  abreast.  He  had  a  narrow 
thread  of  solid  path,  and  he  forced  me  into  a  runnel.     Still  I 


"1   AM    HERH,    BKHIND   YOU,    HERR   LIEUTENANT." 

gained.  He  swerved  ;  I  think  he  tried  to  foul  me.  But  the 
slope  was  too  steep  ;  his  attempt  recoiled  on  himself ;  he  ran 
against  the  rock  at  the  side  and  almost  overbalanced.  That 
second  lost  him.  I  waved  my  h;Tnd  as  I  sailed  ahead. 
"Good  morning,"  I  cried,  gaily.  "See  you  again  at 
Ivimburg  !  *' 


88  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

From  the  top  of  the  slope  1  put  my  feet  up  and  flew  down 
into  Idstein.  A  thunder-shower  burst  ;  I  was  glad  of  the 
cool  of  it.  It  laid  the  dust.  I  regained  the  highroad. 
From  that  moment,  save  for  the  risk  of  sideslips,  't  was  easy 
running — just  an  undulating  line  with  occasional  ups  and 
downs  ;  but  I  saw  no  more  of  my  pursuers  till,  twenty-two 
kilomeLres  farther  on,  I  rattled  on  the  cobble-paved  cause- 
way into  lyimburg.  I  had  covered  the  forty-six  miles  in 
quick  time  for  a  mountain  climb.  As  I  crossed  the  bridge 
over  the  Lahn,  to  my  immense  surprise,  Mr.  Hitchcock 
waved  his  arms,  all  excitement,  to  greet  me.  He  had  taken 
the  train  on  from  Eppstein,  it  seemed,  and  got  there  before 
me.  As  I  dismounted  at  the  cathedral,  which  was  our  ap- 
pointed end,  and  gave  my  badge  to  the  soldier,  he  rushed 
up  and  shook  my  hand.  ' '  Fifty  pounds  !  "  he  cried.  ' '  Fifty 
pounds !  How  's  that  for  the  great  Anglo-Saxon  race !  And 
hooray  for  the  Manitou  !  " 

The  second  man,  the  civilian,  rode  in,  wet  and  draggled, 
forty  seconds  later.  As  for  the  Herr  Lieutenant,  a  disap- 
pointed man,  he  fell  out  by  the  way,  alleging  a  puncture.  I 
believe  he  was  ashamed  to  admit  the  fact  that  he  had  been 
beaten  in  open  fight  by  the  objurgated  Englanderin. 

So  the  end  of  it  was,  I  was  now  a  woman  of  means,  with 
fifty  pounds  of  my  own  to  my  credit. 

I  lunched  with .  my  backer  royally  at  the  best  inn  in 
Limburg. 


CHAPTER  IV 

THK  ADVENTURE  OF  THE  AMATEUR  COMMISSION  AGENT 

MY  eccentric  American  had  assured  nie  that  if  I  won 
the  great  race  for  him  I  need  not  be  "  scared  "  lest 
he  should  fail  to  treat  me  well  ;  and,  to  do  him 
justice,  I  must  admit  that  he  kept  his  word  magnanimously. 
While  we  sat  at  lunch  in  the  cosy  hotel  at  Limburg  he 
counted  out  and  paid  me  in  hand  the  fifty  good  gold  pieces 
he  had  promised  me.  "  Whether  these  Deutschers  fork  out 
my  twenty  thousand  marks  or  not,"  he  said,  in  his  brisk 
way,  "  it  don't  much  matter.  I  shall  get  the  contract,  and 
I  shall  hev  gotten  the  adver/Z^nnent  !  " 

"  Why  do  you  start  your  bicycles  in  Germany,  though  ?  " 
I  asked,  innocently.  "  I  should  have  thought  myself 
there  was  a  much  better  chance  of  selling  them  in  Eng- 
land." 

He  closed  one  eye,  and  looked  abstractedly  at  the  light 
through  his  glass  of  pale  yellow  Brauneberger  with  the 
other.  "  England  ?  Yes,  England!  Well,  you  see,  miss,  you 
hev  not  been  raised  in  business.  Business  is  business.  The 
way  to  do  it  in  Germany  is — to  manufacture  for  yourself — 

and  I  've  got  my  works  started  right  here  in  Frankfort. 

89 


90 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


The  way  to  do  it  in  Hiigland — where  capital  's  dirt-cheap — 
is,  to  sell  your  patent  for  every  cent  it  's  worth  to  an  Kng- 
lisli  company,  and  let  them  boom  or  bust  on  it." 

"  I  see,"  I  said,  catching  at  it.     "  The  principle  's  as  clear 


as  mud,  the  moment  you  point 
it  out  to  one.     An  Ivnglisli  com- 


1 


LET  THEM  HoOM  OR  BUST  ON  IT." 


concession,  and  work  for  a  smaller  return  on  its  investment 
than  you  Americans  are  content  to  receive  on  your  capital  !  " 

"  That  's  .so  !  You  hit  it  in  one,  miss  !  Which  will  you 
take,  a  cigar  or  a  cocoa-nut  ?  " 

I  smiled.  "  And  what  do  you  think  you  will  call  the 
machine  in  Europe  ?  " 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent        91 

He  gazed  hard  at  me,  and  stroked  his  straw-colonred 
moustache.  "Well,  what  do  j'ou  think  of  the  /.cy/s  Cay- 
Icyf' 

"  For  Heaven's  sake,  no  !  "  I  cried,  fervently.  "  Mr. 
Hitchcock,  I  implore  you  !  " 

He  smiled  pity  for  my  weakness.  "  Ah,  high-toned 
again  ?  "  he  repeated,  as  if  it  were  some  natural  malforma- 
tion under  which  I  laboured.  *'  Oh,  ef  you  don't  like  it, 
miss,  we  '11  say  no  more  about  it,  I  am  a  gentleman,  I  am. 
What  's  the  matter  with  the  Excelsior  f 

"  Nothing,  except  that  it  's  very  bad  Latin,"  I  objected. 

"  That  may  be  so  ;  but  it  's  very  good  business." 

He  paused  and  mused,  then  he  nuirnuired  low  to  himself, 
"  '  When  through  an  Alpine  village  passed.'  Tljat  's  where 
the  idea  of  the  Excelsior  Qoxwif?,  in  ;  see  ?  '  It  goes  up  Mont 
Blanc,'  you  said  yourself.  '  Tiirough  snow  and  ice,  A  cycle 
with  the  .strange  device.  Excelsior  !  '  " 

"  If  I  were  you,"  I  said,  "  I  would  stick  to  the  name 
Mauiloii.     It  's  original,  and  it  's  distinctive." 

"  Think  .so  ?  Then  chalk  it  up  ;  the  thing  's  done.  Vou 
may  not  be  aware  of  it,  miss,  but  you  are  a  lady  for  whose 
opinion  in  such  matters  I  hev  a  high  regard.  Aud  you 
understand  luirope.  I  do  not.  I  admit  it.  I'A'erything 
seems  to  be  verbotcu  in  Germany  ;  and  everything  else  to  be 
had  form  in  England." 

We  walked  down  the  steps  together.  "  What  a  pictur- 
esque old  town  !  "  I  said,  looking  round  me,  well  pleased. 
Its  beauty  appealed  to  me,  for  I  had  fifty  pounds  in  pocket, 
and  I  h;id  lunched  sumptuously. 

"  Old  town  ?  "  he  repeated,  gazing  with  a  blank  .stare. 
"  You  call  this  town  old^  do  you  ?  " 


92  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  Why,  of  course  !  Just  look  at  the  cathedral  !  Eight 
hundred  years  old,  at  least  !  " 

He  ran  his  eye  down  the  streets,  dissatisfied. 

"  Well,  ef  this  town  is  old,"  he  said  at  last,  with  a  snap 
of  his  fingers,  "it  's  precious  little  for  its  age."  And  he 
strode  away  towards  the  railway  station. 

"  What  about  the  bicycle  ?  "  I  asked  ;  for  it  lay,  a  silent 
victor,  against  the  railing  of  the  steps,  surrounded  by  a 
crowd  of  enquiring  Teutons. 

He  glanced  at  it  carelessly.  "  Oh,  the  wheel  ?  "  he  said. 
' '  You  may  keep  it. ' ' 

He  said  it  so  exactly  in  the  tone  in  which  one  tells  a  waiter 
he  may  keep  the  change  that  I  resented  the  impertinence. 
"  No,  thank  you,"  I  answered.     "  I  do  not  require  it." 

He  gazed  at  me  open-mouthed.  "  What?  Put  my  foot 
in  it  again?"  he  interposed.  "  Not  high-toned  enough, 
eh  ?  Now,  I  do  regret  it.  No  ofience  meant,  miss,  nor  none 
need  be  taken.  What  I  meant  to  in-sinuate  was  this  :  you 
liev  won  the  big  race  for  me.  Folks  will  notice  you  and  talk 
about  you  at  Frankfort.  Ef  you  ride  a  Manitou,  that  '11 
make  'em  talk  the  more.  A  mutual  advantage.  Benefits 
you  ;  benefits  me.  You  get  the  wheel  ;  I  get  the  adverf/se- 
ment." 

I  saw  that  reciprocity  was  the  loadstar  of  his  life.  "  Very 
well,  Mr.  Hitchcock,"  I  said,  pocketing  my  pride,  "  I  '11 
accept  the  machine,  and  I  '11  ride  it." 

Then  a  light  dawned  upon  me.  I  .saw  eventualities. 
"  Look  here,"  I  went  on,  innocently — recollect,  I  was  a  girl 
just  fresh  from  Girton — "  I  am  thinking  of  going  on  very 
soon  to  Switzerland.  Now,  why  should  n't  I  do  this — try 
to  sell  your  machines,  or,  rather,  take  orders  for  them,  from 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent        93 

anybody  that  admires  them  ?  A  mutual  advantage.  Bene- 
fits you  ;  benefits  me.     You  sell  your  wheels  ;  I  get " 

He  stared  at  me.     "  The  commission  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  what  commission  means,"  I  answered, 
somewhat  at  sea  as  to  the  term  ;  "  but  I  thought  it  might 
be  worth  your  while,  till  the  Manitou  becomes  better  known, 
to  pay  me,  say,  ten  per  cent,  on  all  orders  I  brought  you." 

His  face  was  one  broad  smile.  "I  do  admire  you, 
miss,"  he  cried,  standing  still  to  inspect  me.  "  You  may 
not  know  the  meaning  of  the  word  connnission  ;  but  durned 
ef  you  have  n't  got  a  hang  of  the  thing  itself  that  would  do 
honour  to  a  Wall  Street  operator,  anyway." 

"  Then  that  's  business  ?  "  I  asked,  eagerly  ;  for  I  beheld 
vistas. 

"  Business  ?  "  he  repeated.  "  Yes,  that  's  jest  about  the 
size  of  it — business.  Adver//.S(fment,  miss,  may  be  the  soul 
of  commerce,  but  commission  's  its  body.  You  go  in  and 
win.     Ten  per  cent,  on  every  order  you  send  me  !  " 

He  insisted  on  taking  my  ticket  back  to  Frankfort.  "  My 
affair,  miss  ;  my  affair  !  "  There  was  no  gainsaying  him. 
He  was  immensely  elated.  "  The  biggest  thing  in  cycles 
since  Dunlop  tires,"  he  repeated.  "  And  to-morrow, 
they  '11  give  me  adver/zVments  ^^ratis  in  every  newspaper!  " 

Next  morning,  he  came  round  to  call  on  me  at  the  Abode 
of  Unclaimed  Domestic  Angels.  He  was  explicit  and 
generous.  "  Look  here,  miss,"  he  began  ;  "  I  did  n't  do 
fair  by  you  when  you  interviewed  me  about  your  agency 
last  evening.  I  took  advantage,  «/ the  time,  <?/" your  youth 
and  inexperience.  You  suggested  ten  per  cent,  as  the 
amount  of  your  comnn'ssion  on  sales  you  might  effect  ;  and 
I  jumped  at  it.     That  was  conduct  unworthy  ^a  gentleman. 


94  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

Now,  I  will  not  deceive  j'oii.  The  ordinary  commission  on 
transactions  in  wheels  is  twentj'-five  per  cent.  I  am  going 
to  sell  the  Manitou  at  twenty  English  pounds  apiece.  You 
shall  hev  your  twenty-five  per  cent,  on  all  orders." 

"  Five  pounds  for  every  machine  I  sell  !  "  I  exclaimed, 
overjoyed. 

He  nodded.     "That's  so." 

I  was  simply  amazed  at  this  magnificent  prospect.  "  The 
cycle  trade  must  be  hone3'combed  with  middlemen's  profits!  " 
I  cried  ;  for  I  had  my  misgivings. 

"That  's  so,"  he  replied  again.  "Then  jest  you  take 
and  be  a  middlewoman." 

"  But,  as  a  consistent  socialist " 

"  It's  your  duty  to  fleece  the  capitalist  and  the  consumer, 
A  mutual  benefit — triangular  this  time.  I  get  the  order,  the 
public  gets  the  machine,  and  you  get  the  commission.  I  am 
richer,  you  are  richer,  and  the  public  is  mounted  on  much 
the  best  wheel  ever  yet  invented." 

"  That  sounds  plausible,"  I  admitted.  "  I  shall  try  it  on  in 
Switzerland.  I  shall  run  up  steep  hills  whenever  I  see  any 
likely  customers  looking  on  ;  then  I  shall  stop  and  ask  them 
the  time,  as  if  quite  accidentally." 

He  rubbed  his  hands.  "  You  take  to  business  like  a 
young  duck  to  the  water,"  he  exclaimed,  admiringly. 
"  That  's  the  way  to  rake  'em  in  !  You  go  up  and  say  to 
them,  '  Why  not  investigate  ?  We  defy  competition.  Leave 
the  drudgery  of  walking  up-hill  beside  your  cycle !  Progress 
is  the  order  of  the  day.  Use  modern  methods  !  This  is  the 
age  of  the  telegraph,  the  telephone,  ajid  the  typewriter. 
You  kin  no  longer  afford  to  go  on  with  an  antiquated,  ante- 
diluvian, armour-plated  wheel.     Invest  in  a  Hill-Climber, 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent        95 

the  last  and  lightest  product  of  evv'Oioolion.  Is  it  common- 
sense  to  buy  an  old-style,  unautomatic,  single-geared,  incon- 
vertible ten-ton  machine,  when  for  the  same  money  or  less 
you  can  purchase  the  self-acting  Manitou,  a  priceless  gem, 
as  light  as  a  feather,  with  all  the  most  recent  additions  and 
improvements  ?  Be  reasonable  !  Get  the  best  ! '  That  's 
the  style  to  fetch  'em  !  " 

I  laughed,  in  spite  of  myself  "  Oh,  Mr.  Hitchcock,"  I 
burst  out,  "  that  's  not  my  style  at  all.  I  shall  say  simply, 
'  This  is  a  lovely  new  bicycle.  You  can  see  for  yourself  how 
it  climbs  hills.  Try  it,  if  you  wish.  It  skims  like  a  swal- 
low. And  I  get  what  they  call  five  pounds  connnission  on 
every  one  I  can  sell  of  them  !  *  I  think  that  way  of  dealing 
is  much  more  likely  to  bring  you  in  orders." 

His  admiration  was  undisguised.  "  Well,  I  do  call  you  a 
woman  of  bu.siness,  mi.ss,"  he  cried.  "  You  see  it  at  a  glance. 
That  's  so.  That  's  the  right  kind  of  thing  to  rope  in  the 
Europeans.  Some  originality  about  you.  You  take  'em  on 
their  own  ground.  You  've  got  the  draw  on  them,  you  hev. 
I  like  your  system.     You  '11  jest  haul  in  the  dollars  !  " 

"  I  hope  so,"  I  said,  fervently  ;  for  I  had  evolved  in  my 
own  mind,  oh,  such  a  lovely  scheme  for  Elsie  Petheridge's 
holidays  ! 

He  gazed  at  me  once  more.  "  Ef  only  I  could  get  hold 
of  a  woman  of  business  like  you  to  soar  through  life  with 
me,"  he  murmured. 

I  grew  interested  in  my  shoes.  His  open  admiration  was 
getting  quite  embarrassing. 

He  paused  a  minute.  Then  he  went  on  :  **  Well,  what  do 
you  say  to  it  ?  " 

"  To  what  ?  "  I  asked,  amazed. 


96 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


"  To  my  proposition — my  offer." 

"  I — I  don't  nnderstand,"  I  stammered  out  bewildered. 
"  The  twenty-five  per  cent.,  you  mean  ?  " 
•  "  No,  the  de-votion  of  a  lifetime,"  he  answered,  looking 
sideways  at  me.     "  Miss  Cayley,  when  a  business  man  ad- 
vances a  proposition,  commercial  or  otherwise,  he  advances 


HIS   OI'KN  ADMIRAIION   WAS  GKITINT.   QUITE   EMBARRASSI'^O. 

it  because  he  means  it.  He  asks  a  prompt  repl}'.  Your 
time  is  valuable.  So  is  mine.  Arc  you  prepared  to  consider 
it?" 

"  Mr.  Hitchcock,"  I  said,  drawing  back,  "  I  think  you 
misunderstand.     I  think  you  do  not  realise " 

"  All  right,  miss,"  he  answered  promptly,  though  with  a 
disappointed  air.  "  Ef  it  kin  not  be  managed,  it  kin  not  be 
managed.     I  understand  your  European  ex-clusiveness.     I 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent        97 

know  your  prejudices.  But  this  little  episode  need  not 
antagonise  with  the  nonnal  course  of  ordinary  business,  I 
respect  you,  Miss  Cay  ley.  You  are  a  lady  of  intelligence, 
of  initiative,  and  of  high-toned  culture.  I  will  wish  you 
good  day  for  the  present,  without  further  words  ;  and  I  shall 
be  happy  at  any  time  to  receive  your  orders  on  the  usual 
commission." 

He  backed  out  and  was  gone.  He  was  so  honestly  blunt 
that  I  really  quite  liked  him. 

Next  day  I  bade  a  tearless  farewell  to  the  Blighted  Fraus, 
When  I  told  those  eight  phlegmatic  souls  I  was  going,  they 
all  said  "So  !  "  much  as  they  had  said  "  So  !  "  to  every  pre- 
vious remark  I  had  been  moved  to  make  to  them.  "  So  "  is 
capital  garnishing  ;  but  viewed  as  a  staple  of  conversation,  I 
find  it  a  trifle  vapid,  not  to  say  monotonous.  I  set  out  on 
my  wanderings,  therefore,  to  go  round  the  world  on  my  own 
account  and  my  own  Manitou,  which  last  I  grew  to  love  in 
time  with  a  love  passing  the  love  of  Mr.  Cj'rus  Hitchcock.  I 
carried  the  strictly  necessary  before  me  in  a  small  waterproof 
bicycling  valise  ;  but  I  sent  on  the  portmanteau  containing 
my  whole  estate,  real  and  personal,  to  some  point  in  advance 
which  I  hoped  to  reach  from  time  to  time  in  a  day  or  two. 
My  first  day's  journey  was  along  a  pleasant  road  from  Frank- 
fort to  Heidelberg,  some  fifty-four  miles  in  all,  skirting  the 
mountains  the  greater  part  of  the  way;  the  Manitou  took  the 
ups  and  downs  so  easily  that  I  diverged  at  intervals,  to  choose 
side-paths  over  the  wooded  hills.  I  arrived  at  Heidelberg  as 
fresh  as  a  daisy,  my  mount  not  having  turned  a  hair  mean- 
while— a  favourite  expression  of  cjxlists  which  carries  all 
the  more  conviction  to  an  impartial  mind  because  of  the 
machine  being  obviously  hairless.     Thence  I  journeyed  on 

7  _ 


9^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

by  easy  stages  to  Karlsruhe,  Baden,  Appenweier,  and  Offen- 
burg,  where  I  set  my  front  wheel  resolutely  for  the  Black 
Forest.  It  is  the  prettiest  and  most  picturesque  route  to 
Switzerland  ;  and,  being  also  the  hilliest,  it  would  afford  me, 
I  thought,  the  best  opportunity  for  showing  off  the  Manitou's 
paces,  and  trying  my  prentice  hand  as  an  amateur  cycle- 
agent. 

From  the  quaint  little  Black  Eagle  at  Offenburg,  however, 
before  I  dashed  into  the  Forest,  I  sent  off  a  letter  to  Elsie 
Petheridge,  setting  forth  my  lovely  scheme  for  her  sunnner 
holidays.  She  was  delicate,  poor  child,  and  the  London 
winters  sorely  tried  her  ;  I  was  now  a  millionaire,  with  the 
better  part  of  fifty  pounds  in  my  pocket,  so  I  felt  I  could 
afford  to  be  royal  in  my  hospitality.  As  I  was  leaving 
Frankfort,  I  had  called  at  a  tourist  agency  and  bought  a 
second-class  circular  ticket  from  London  to  Lucerne  and 
back — I  made  it  second-class  because  I  am  opposed  on  prin- 
ciple to  excessive  luxury,  and  also  because  it  was  three 
guineas  cheaper.  Even  fifty  pounds  will  not  last  forever, 
though  I  could  scarcely  believe  it.  (You  see,  I  am  not 
wholly  free,  after  all,  from  the  besetting  British  vice  of 
prudence.)  It  was  a  mighty  joy  to  me  to  be  able  to  send 
this  ticket  to  Elsie,  at  her  lodgings  in  Bayswater,  pointing 
out  to  her  that  now  the  whole  mischief  was  done,  and  that 
if  she  would  not  come  out  as  soon  as  her  summer  vacation 
began — 't  was  a  point  of  honour  with  Elsie  to  say  vacation, 
instead  o{  holidays — to  join  me  at  Lucerne,  and  stop  with  me 
as  my  guest  at  a  mountain  pension,  the  ticket  would  be 
wasted.  I  love  burning  my  boats  ;  't  is  the  only  safe  way 
for  securing  prompt  action. 

Then  I  turned  my  flying  wheels  up  into  the  Black  Forest, 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent        99 

growing  weary  of  my  loneliness — for  it  is  not  all  jam  to  ride 
by  oneself  in  Germany — and  longing  for  Elsie  to  come  out 
and  join  me.  I  loved  to  think  how  her  dear,  pale  cheeks 
would  gain  colour  and  tone  on  the  hills  about  the  Briinig, 
where,  for1)usiness  reasons  (so  I  said  to  myself  with  the  con- 
scious pride  of  the  commission  agent),  I  proposed  to  pass  the 
greater  part  of  the  sunmier. 

From  Offenburg  to  Hornberg  the  road  makes  a  good  stiff 
climb  of  twenty-seven  miles,  and  some  twelve  hundred  Eng- 
lish feet  in  altitude,  with  a  fair  number  of  minor  undulations 
on  the  way  to  diversify  it.  I  will  not  describe  the  route, 
though  it  is  one  of  the  most  beautiful  I  have  ever  travelled 
— rocky  hills,  ruined  castles,  huge,  straight-stemmed  pines 
that  clamber  up  green  slopes,  or  halt  in  sombre  line  against 
steeps  of  broken  crag — the  reality  surpasses  my  poor  powers 
of  description.  And  the  people  I  passed  on  the  road  were 
almost  as  quaint  and  picturesque  in  their  way  as  the  hills 
and  the  villages — the  men  in  red-lined  jackets  ;  the  women 
in  black  petticoats,  short-waisted  green  bodices,  and  broad- 
brinnned  straw  hats  with  black-and-crimson  pompons.  But 
on  the  steepest  gradient,  just  before  reaching  Hornberg,  I  got 
my  first  nibble — strange  to  say,  from  two  German  students  ; 
they  wore  Heidelberg  caps,  and  were  toiling  up  the  incline 
with  short,  broken  wind;  I  put  on  a  spurt  with  the  Manitou, 
and  passed  them  easily.  I  did  it  just  at  first  in  pure  wanton- 
ness of  health  and  strength  ;  but  the  moment  I  was  clear  of 
them,  it  occurred  to  the  business  half  of  me  that  here  was  a 
good  chance  of  taking  an  order.  Filled  with  this  bright  idea, 
I  dismounted  near  the  summit,  and  pretended  to  be  engaged 
in  lubricating  my  bearings  ;  though  as  a  matter  of  fact  the 
Manitou  runs  in  a  bath  of  oil,  self- feeding,  and  needs  no 


loo  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

looking  after.  Presently,  my  two  Heidelbergers  straggled 
up — hot,  dusty,  panting.  Woman-like,  I  pretended  to  take 
no  notice.  One  of  them  drew  near  and  cast  an  eye  on  the 
Manitou. 

"  That  's  a  new  machine,  Fraulein,"  he  said,  at  last,  with 
more  politeness  than  I  expected. 

"  It  is,"  I  answered,  casually;  "  the  latest  model.  Climbs 
hills  like  no  other."  And  I  feigned  to  mount  and  glide  off 
towards  Hornberg. 

"  Stop  a  moment,  pra}-,  Fraulein,"  my  prospective  buyer 
called  out.  "  Here,  Heinrich,  I  wish  j-ou  this  new  so  ex- 
cellent mountain-climbing  machine,  without  chain  propelled, 
more  fully  to  investigate." 

"  I  am  going  on  to  Hornberg,"  I  said,  with  mixed  feminine 
guile  and  commercial  strategy  ;  "  still,  if  your  friend  wishes 
to  look "  . 

They  both  jostled  round  it,  with  achs  innumerable,  and, 
after  minute  inspection,  pronounced  its  principle  luundcr- 
schon.     "  Might  I  essay  it  ?  "  Heinrich  asked. 

"  Oh,  by  all  means,"  I  answered.  He  paced  it  down  hill 
a  few  yards  ;  then  skimmed  up  again. 

"  It  is  a  bird  !  "  he  cried  to  his  friend,  with  many  guttural 
interjections.  "  Like  the  eagle's  flight,  so  soars  it.  Come, 
try  the  thing,  Ludwig  !  " 

"  You  permit,  Fraulein  ?  " 

I  nodded.  They  both  mounted  it  several  times.  It  be- 
haved like  a  beauty.  Then  one  of  them  asked,  "  And  where 
can  man  of  this  new  so  remarkable  machine  nearest  by  pur- 
chase himself  make  possessor  ?  " 

"  I  am  the  Sole  Agent,"  I  burst  out,  with  swelling  dignity. 
"  If  you  will  give  me  your  orders,  with  cash  in  hand  for  the 


o 

o 

u 

A. 

[/) 

H 
Z 


♦     • 


I02  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

amount,  I  will  send  the  C3'cle,  carriage  paid,  to  any  address 
you  desire  in  Germany." 

"  You  !  "  they  exclaimed,  incredulously.  "  TheFraulein 
is  pleased  to  be  humorous  !  " 

"  Oh,  very  well,"  I  answered,  vaulting  into  the  saddle  ; 
"  if  you  choose  to  doubt  my  word "  I  waved  one  care- 
less hand  and  coasted  off.     "  Good-morning,  meine  Herren." 

They  lumbered  after  me  on  their  ramshackle  traction- 
engines.  "  Pardon,  Fraulein  !  Do  not  thus  go  away  ! 
Oblige  us  at  least  with  the  name  and  address  of  the  maker." 

I  perpended — like  the  Herr  Over-Superintendent  at  Frank- 
fort. "  Lookvhere,"  I  said  at  last,  telling  the  truth  with 
frankness,  "  I  get  twenty-five  per  cent,  on  all  bicycles  I  sell. 
I  am,  as  I  say,  the  maker's  Sole  Agent.  If  you  order 
through  me,  I  touch  my  profit  ;  if  otherwise,  I  do  not.  Still, 
since  you  seem  to  be  gentlemen  " — they  bowed  and  swelled 
visibly, — "  I  will  give  you  the  address  of  the  firm,  trusting  to 
your  honour  to  mention  mj^  name  " — I  handed  them  a  card — 
' '  if  you  decide  on  ordering.  The  price  of  the  palfrey  is  four 
hundred  marks.  It  is  worth  every  pfennig  of  it."  And,  be- 
fore they  could  say  more,  I  had  spurred  my  steed  and  swept 
off  at  full  speed  round  a  curve  of  the  highway. 

I  pencilled  a  note  to  my  American  that  night  from  Horn- 
berg,  detailing  the  circumstance  ;  but  I  am  sorry  to  say,  for 
the  discredit  of  humanity,  that  when  those  two  students 
wrote  the  same  evening  from  their  inn  in  the  village  to" order 
Manitous,  they  did  not  mention  my  name,  doubtless  under 
the  misconception  that  by  suppressing  it  they  would  save 
my  commission.  However,  it  gives  me  pleasure  to  vAAper 
contra  (as  we  say  in  business)  that  when  I  arrived  at  Lucerne 
a  week  or  so  later  I  found  a  letter,  poste  rcstantc,  from  Mr. 


The  Amateur  Commission  A<a'nt      103 


Cyrus  Hitchcock,  inclosing  an  Knglish  ten-pound  note.  He 
wrote  that  he  had  received  two  orders  for  M  an  i  tons  from 
Hornberg  ;  and  "  feehng  considerable  confidence  that  these 
must  necessarily  originate"  from  my  German  students,  he 

had  the  pleasure  of  forwarding  me  what 
he  hoped  would  be  the  first  of  many 
similar  conunissions. 


1  FELT  A  PKRFKCT  LITTLK  HYPOCRITE. 


I  will  not  describe  my  further  adventures  on  the  still 
steeper  mountain  road  from  Hornberg  to  Triberg  and  St. 
Georgen— how  I  got  bites  on  the  way  from  an  English  curate, 
an  Austrian  hussar,  and  two  unprotected  American  ladies  ; 
nor  how  I  angled  for  them  all  by  riding  my  machine  up  im- 
possible hills,  and  then  reclining  gracefully  to  eat  my  lunch 


I04  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

(three  times  in  one  day)  on  mossy  banks  at  the  summit.  I 
felt  a  perfect  little  hypocrite.  But  Mr.  Hitchcock  had  re- 
marked that  business  is  business  ;  and  I  will  only  add  (in 
confirmation  of  his  view)  that  by  the  time  I  reached  Lucerne 
I  had  sown  the  good  seed  in  fifteen  separate  human  souls, 
no  less  than  four  of  which  l)rought  forth  fruit  in  orders  for 
Manitous  before  the  end  of  the  season, 

I  had  now  .so  little  fear  what  the  morrow  might  bring  forth 
that  I  settled  down  in  a  comfortable  hotel  at  Lucerne  till 
I'^lsie's  holidays  began  ;  and  amused  my.self  meanwhile  by 
picking  out  the  liilliest  roads  I  could  find  in  the  neighbour- 
hood, in  order  to  di.splay  my  steel  steed's  possibilities  to  the 
best  advantage. 

By  the  end  of  July,  little  Klsie  joined  me.  She  was  half- 
angry  at  first  that  I  vshould  have  forced  the  ticket  and  my 
ho.spitality  upon  her.  "  Nonsense,  dear,"  I  said,  .smoothing 
her  hair,  for  her  pale  face  quite  frightened  me.  "  What  is 
^lie  good  of  a  friend  if  she  will  not  allow  you  to  do  her  little 
favours  ?  ' ' 

"  But,  Brownie,  you  said  you  would  n't  .stop  and  be  de- 
pendent upon  me  one  day  longer  than  was  neces.sary  in 
London." 

"  That  was  different,"  I  cried.  "  That  was  Me  !  This  is 
You  !  I  am  a  great,  strong,  healthy  thing,  fit  to  fight  the 
battle  of  life  and  take  care  of  my.self  ;  you,  Klsie,  are  one  of 
tho.se  fragile  little  flowers  which  't  is  everybody's  duty  to 
protect  and  to  care  for." 

She  would  have  protested  more  ;  but  I  stifled  her  mouth 
with  kisses.  Indeed,  for  nothing  did  I  rejoice  in  my  pros- 
perity .so  much  as  for  the  ciiance  it  gave  me -of  helping  poor 
dear,  overworked,  overwrought  Ulsie.  • 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent       105 

We  took  up  our  quarters  thenceforth  at  a  high-perched 
little  guest-house  near  the  top  of  the  Briiiiig.  It  was  bracing 
for  Klsie  ;  and  it  lay  close  to  a  tourist  track  where  I  could 
spread  my  snares  and  exhibit  the  Manitou  in  its  true  colours 
to  many  passing  visitors.  Klsie  tried  it,  and  found  she 
could  ride  on  it  with  ease.  She  wished  she  had  one  of  her 
own.  A  bright  idea  struck  me.  In  fear  and  trembling,  I 
wrote,  suggesting  to  Mr.  Hitchcock  that  I  had  a  girl  friend 
from  England  .stopping  with  me  in  Switzerland,  and  thut  two 
Manitous  would  surely  be  better  than  one  as  an  adver//.sr- 
ment.  I  confess  I  .stood  agha.st  at  my  own  clieek  ;  but  my 
hand,  I  fear,  was  rapidly  growing  "  subdued  to  that  it 
worked  in."  Anyhow  I  .sent  the  letter  off,  and  waited  de- 
velopments. 

By  return  of  post  came  an  answer  from  my  American: 

•'Dkar  Mi.ss— Tly  rail  herewith  please  receive  one  lady's  No.  4 
automatic  quadruple-beared  self-feeding  Manitou,  as  per  your  esteemed 
favour  of  July  27ih,  for  which  I  desire  to  thank  you.  The  n:ore  I  .see 
of  your  way  of  doing  husiness,  the  more  I  do  admire  you.  This  i.s 
an  elegant  poster !  Two  high-toned  English  ladies,  mounted  on 
Manitous,  careering  up  the  Alps,  represent  to  both  of  us  quite  a  mint 
of  money.  The  mutual  benefit  to  me,  to  you,  and  to  the  other  lady, 
ought  to  be  simply  incalculable.  I  shall  be  pleased  ut  any  time  to 
hear  of  any  further  »'evelopments  of  your  very  remarkable  advertising 
skill,  and  I  am  obliged  to  you  for  this  brilliant  suggestion  you  have 
been  good  enough  to  make  to  me. 

"  Respectfully, 

•'  Cyrus  W.  Hitchcock." 

"  What?  Am  I  to  have  it  for  nothing,  Hrewnie  ?  "  Elsie 
exclaimed,  bewildered,  when  I  read  the  letter  to  her. 

I  assumed  the  airs  of  a  woman  of  the  world.  "  Why, 
certainly,  my  dear,"  I  answered,  as  if  I  always  expected  to 
find  bicycles  showered  upon  me.     "It  's  a  mutual  arrange- 


io6  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

ment.  Benefits  him  ;  benefits  you.  Reciprocity  is  the 
groundwork  of  business.  He  gets  the  advertisement  ;  you 
get  the  amusement.  It  's  a  form  of  handbill.  Like  the 
ladies  who  exhibit  their  back  hair,  don't  you  know,  in  that 
window  in  Regent  Street." 

Thus  inexpensively  mounted,  we  scoured  the  country  to- 
gether, up  the  steepest  hills  between  Stanzstadt  and  Mei- 
ringen.  We  had  lots  of  nibbles.  One  lady  in  particular 
often  stopped  to  look  on  and  admire  the  Manitou.  She  was 
a  nice-looking  widow  of  forty-five,  very  fresh  and  round- 
faced  ;  a  Mrs.  Evelegh,  we  soon  found  out,  who  owned  a 
charming  chdld  on  the  hills  above  Lungern.  She  spoke  to 
us  more  than  once  :  "  What  a  perfect  dear  of  a  machine  !  " 
she  cried.     "  I  wonder  if  I  dare  try  it !  " 

**  Can  you  cycle  ?  "  I  asked. 

**  I  could  once,"  she  answered.  '*  I  was  awfully  fond  of 
it.     But  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley  won't  let  me  any  longer." 

**  Try  it  !  "  I  said,  dismounting.  She  got  up  and  rode. 
"  Oh,  is  n't  it  just  lovely  !  "  she  cried  ecstatically. 

"  Buy  one  !  "  I  put  in.  "  They  're  as  smooth  as  silk  ; 
they  cost  only  twenty  pounds  ;  and,  on  every  machine  I  sell, 
I  get  five  pounds  commission." 

"  I  should  love  to,"  she  answered  ;  "  but  Dr.  Fortescue- 
lyangley " 

"Who  is  he?"  I  asked.  "I  don't  believe  in  drug- 
drenchers." 

She  looked  quite  shocked.  "  Oh,  he  's  not  that  kind,  you 
know,"  she  put  in,  breathlessly,  "  He  's  the  celebrated 
esoteric  faith-healer.  He  won't  let  me  move  far  away  from 
Lungern,  though  I  'm  longing  to  be  off  to  England  again 
for  the  summer.     My  boy  's  at  Portsmouth." 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent      107 

"  Then,  why  don't  you  disobey  him  ?  " 

Her  face  was  a  study.  "  I  dare  n't,"  she  answered  in  an 
awe-struck  voice.  "  He  comes  here  every  summer  ;  and  he 
does  me  so  much  good,  you  know.  He  diagnoses  my  inner 
self.  He  treats  me  psychically.  When  my  inner  self  goes 
wrong,  my  bangle  turns  dusky."  She  held  up  her  right 
hand  with  an  Indian  silver  bangle  on  it ;  and  sure  enough 
it  was  tarnished  with  a  very  thin  black  deposit.  "  My  soul 
is  ailing  now,"  she  said  in  a  comically  serious  voice.  "  But 
it  is  seldom  so  in  Switzerland.  The  moment  I  land  in  Eng- 
land the  bangle  turns  black  and  remains  black  till  I  get  back 
to  Lucerne  again." 

When  she  had  gone,  I  said  to  Elsie  :  "  That  is  odd  about 
the  bangle.  State  of  health  might  affect  it,  I  suppose. 
Though  it  looks  to  me  like  a  surface  deposit  of  sulphide." 
I  knew  nothing  of  chemistry,  I  admit  ;  but  I  had  sometimes 
messed  about  in  the  laboratory  at  college  with  some  of  the 
other  girls  ;  and  I  remembered  now  that  sulphide  of  silver 
was  a  blackish-looking  body,  like  the  film  on  the  bangle. 

However,  at  the  time  I  thought  no  more  about  it. 

By  dint  of  stopping  and  talking,  we  soon  got  quite  inti- 
mate with  Mrs.  Evelegh.  As  always  happens,  I  found  out 
I  had  known  some  of  her  cousins  in  Edinburgh,  where  I 
always  spent  my  holidays  while  I  was  at  Girton.  She  took 
an  interest  in  what  she  was  kind  enough  to  call  my  original- 
ity ;  and  before  a  fortnight  was  out,  our  hotel  being  uncom- 
fortably crowded,  she  had  invited  Elsie  and  myself  to  stop 
with  her  at  the  c/iAlct.  We  went  and  found  it  a  delightful 
little  home.  Mrs.  Evelegh  was  charming  ;  but  we  could  see 
at  every  turn  that  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley  had  acquired  a 
firm  hold  over  her.     "  He  's  so  clever,  you  know,"  she  said; 


io8 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


"  and  ^^  spiritual  !  He  exercises  such  strong  odylic  foice. 
He  binds  my  being  together.  If  he  misses  a  visit,  I  feel  my 
inner  self  goes  all  to  pieces." 

"  Does  he  come  often  ?  "  I  asked,  growing  interested. 

"  Oh,  dear,  no,"  she  answered.  "  I  wish  he  did  ;  it  would 
be  ever  .so  good  for  me.     But  he  's  so  much  run  after  ;  I  am 


SHE   INVITED   ELSIE   AND   MYSELF  TO   STOP  WITH    HER. 


but  one  among  many.  He  lives  at  Chateau-d'Oex,  and 
comes  across  to  see  patients  in  this  district  once  a  fortnight. 
It  is  a  privilege  to  be  attended  by  an  intuitive  seer  like  Dr. 
Fortescue-Langley. ' ' 

Mrs.  Evelegh  was  rich — *'  left  comfortably,"  as  the  phrase 
goes,  but  with  a  clause  which  prevented  her  marrying  again 
without  losing  her  fortune  ;  and  I  could  gather  from  various 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent      109 

hints  that  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley,  whoever  he  might  be,  was 
bleeding  her  to  some  tune,  using  her  soul  and  her  inner  self 
as  his  financial  lancet.  I  also  noticed  that  what  she  said 
about  the  bangle  was  strictly  true  ;  generally  bright  as  a  new 
pin,  on  certain  mornings  it  was  completely  blackened.  I  had 
been  at  the  chdlet  ten  days,  however,  before  I  began  to  sus- 
pect the  real  reason.  Then  it  dawned  upon  me  one  morning 
in  a  flash  of  inspiration.  The  evening  before  had  been  cold, 
for  at  the  height  where  we  were  perched,  even  in  August, 
we  often  found  the  temperature  chilly  in  the  night,  and  I 
heard  Mrs.  Evelegh  tell  Cecile,  her  maid,  to  fill  the  hot- 
water  bottle.  It  was  a  small  point,  but  it  somehow  went 
home  to  me.  Next  day  the  bangle  was  black,  and  Mrs. 
Evelegh  lamented  that  her  inner  self  must  be  suffering  from 
an  attack  of  evil  vapours. 

I  held  my  peace  at  the  time,  but  I  asked  Cecile  a  little 
later  to  bring  me  that  hot-water  bottle.  As  I  more  than 
half  suspected,  it  was  made  of  india-rubber,  wrapped  care- 
fully up  in  the  usual  red  flannel  bag.  "  Lend  me  your 
brooch,  Elsie,"  I  said.  **  I  want  to  try  a  little  experi- 
ment." 

"  Won't  a  franc  do  as  well  ?  "  Elsie  asked,  tendering  one. 
"That  's  equally  silver." 

"  I  think  not,"  I  answered.  **  A  franc  is  most  likely  too 
hard  ;  it  has  base  metal  to  alloy  it.  But  I  will  vary  the  ex- 
periment by  trying  both  together.  Your  brooch  is  Indian, 
and  therefore  soft  silver.  The  native  jewellers  never  use 
alloy.  Hand  it  over;  it  will  clean  with  a  little  plate-powder, 
if  necessary.  I  'm  going  to  see  what  blackens  Mrs.  Evelegh's 
bangle." 

I  laid  the  franc  and  the  brooch  on  the  bottle,  filled  with 


I  lo  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

hot  water,  and  placed  them  for  warmth  in  the  fold  of  a 
blanket.  After  dSjc finer,  we  inspected  them.  As  I  antici- 
pated, the  brooch  had  grown  black  on  the  surface  with  a  thin 
iridescent  layer  of  silver  sulphide,  while  the  franc  had  hardly 
suffered  at  all  from  the  exposure. 

I  called  in  Mrs.  Evelegh,  and  explained  what  I  had  done. 
She  was  astonished  and  half  incredulous.  "  How  could  you 
ever  think  of  it  ?  "  she  cried,  admiringly. 

"  Why,  I  was  reading  an  article  yesterday  about  india- 
rubber  in  one  of  your  magazines,"  I  answered  ;  "  and  the 
person  who  wrote  it  said  the  raw  gum  was  hardened  for 
vulcanising  by  mixing  it  with  sulphur.  When  I  heard  you 
ask  Cecile  for  the  hot-water  bottle,  I  thought  at  once  :  '  The 
sulphur  and  the  heat  account  for  the  tarnishing  of  Mrs. 
Bvelegh's  bangle.'  " 

"  And  the  franc  does  n't  tarnish  !  Then  that  must  be 
why  my  other  silver  bracelet,  which  is  English  make,  and 
harder,  never  changes  colour  !  And  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley 
assured  me  it  was  because  the  soft  one  was  of  Indian  metal, 
and  had  mystic  symbols  on  it — symbols  that  answered  to  the 
cardinal  moods  of  my  sub-conscious  self,  and  that  darkened 
in  sympathy." 

I  jumped  at  a  clue.  * '  He  talked  about  your  sub-conscious 
self?"  I  broke  in. 

"  Yes,"  she  answered.  '*  He  always  does.  It 's  the  key- 
note of  his  system.  He  heals  by  that  alone.  But,  my  dear, 
after  this,  how  can  I  ever  believe  in  him  ?  " 

"  Does  he  know  about  the  hot- water  bottle  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  Oh,  yes  ;  he  ordered  me  to  use  it  on  certain  nights  ;  and 
when  I  go  to  England  he  says  I  must  never  be  without  one. 
I  see  now  that  was  why  my  inner  self  invariably  went  wrong 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent      1 1 1 

in  England.  It  was  all  just  the  sulphur  blackening  the 
bangle." 

I  reflected.  "  A  middle-aged  man  ?  "  I  asked,  *"  Stout, 
diplomatic-looking,  with  wrinkles  round  his  eyes,  and  a  dis- 
tinguished grey  moustache,  twirled  up  oddly  at  the  corners  ?  ' ' 

"  That  's  the  man,  my  dear  !  His  very  picture.  Where 
on  earth  have  you  seen  him  ?  ' ' 

"  And  he  talks  of  sub-conscious  selves  ?  "  I  went  on. 

"  He  practises  on  that  basis.  He  says  it  's  no  use  pre- 
scribing for  the  outer  man  ;  to  do  that  is  to  treat  mere  symp- 
toms ;  the  sub-conscious  self  is  the  inner  seat  of  diseases." 

"  How  long  has  he  been  in  Switzerland  ?  " 

"  Oh,  he  comes  here  every  year.  He  arrived  this  season 
late  in  May,  I  fancy." 

"  When  will  he  visit  you  again,  Mrs.  Kvelegh  ?  " 

"  To-morrow  morning." 

I  made  up  my  mind  at  once.  "  Then  I  must  see  him, 
without  being  seen,"  I  said.  "  I  think  I  know  him.  He 
is  our  Count,  I  believe."  For  I  had  told  Mrs.  Evelegh  and 
Elsie  the  queer  story  of  my  journey  from  London. 

*'  Impossible,  my  dear  !  Im-possible  !  I  have  implicit 
faith  in  him  !  " 

"  Wait  and  see,  Mrs.  Evelegh.  You  acknowledge  that  he 
duped  you  over  the  aifair  of  the  bangle." 

There  are  two  kinds  of  dupes  ;  one  kind,  the  commonest, 
goes  on  believing  in  its  deceiver,  no  matter  what  happens  ; 
the  other,  far  rarer,  has  the  sense  to  know  it  has  been  de- 
ceived if  you  make  the  deception  as  clear  as  day  to  it.  Mrs. 
Evelegh  was,  fortunatel}'-,  of  the  rarer  class.  Next  morn- 
ing. Dr.  Fortescue-Langley  arrived,  by  appointment.  As  he 
walked  up  the  path,  I  glanced  at  him  from  my  window.     It 


I  12 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


was  the  Count,  not  a  doubt  of  it.  On  his  way  to  gull  his 
dupes  in  Switzerland,  he  had  tried  to  throw  in  an  incidental 
trifle  of  a  diamond  robbery. 


THE   COUNT. 


I  telegraphed  the  facts  at  once  to  Lady  Georgina,  at 
Schlangenbad.  She  answered  :  "  I  am  coming.  Ask  the 
man  to  meet  his  friend  on  Wednesday." 

Mrs.  Evelegh,  now  almost  convinced,  invited  him.  On 
Wednesday  morning,  with  a  bounce,  Lady  Georgina  burst 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent      113 

in  upon  us.  "  My  dear,  such  a  journey  ! — alone,  at  my  age 
— bnt  there,  I  have  n't  known  a  happy  day  since  you  left 
me  !  Oh,  j'es,  I  got  my  Gretchen — unsophisticated  ? — well 
— h'm — that  's  not  the  word  for  it  :  I  declare  to  you,  Lois, 
there  is  n't  a  trick  of  the  trade,  in  Paris  or  London — not  a 
jierquisite  or  a  tip — that  that  girl  is  n'  t  up  to.  Comes  straight 
from  the  remotest  recesses  of  the  Black  Forest,  and  had  n't 
been  with  me  a  week,  I  assure  you,  honour  bright,  before 
she  was  bandolining  her  yellow  hair,  and  rouging  her  cheeks, 
and  wearing  my  brooches,  and  wagering  gloves  with  the 
hotel  waiters  upon  the  Baden  races.  And  her  language  : 
and  her  manners  !  Why  were  n't  you  born  in  that  station 
of  life,  I  wonder,  child,  so  that  I  might  offer  you  five  hundred 
a  year,  and  all  found,  to  come  and  live  with  me  for  ever? 
But  this  Gretchen — her  fringe,  her  shoes,  her  ribbons — upon 
my  soul,  my  dear,  I  don't  know  what  girls  are  coming  to 
nowadays." 

"  Ask  Mrs.  Lynn-Linton,"  I  suggested,  as  she  paused. 
"  She  is  a  recognised  authority  on  the  subject." 

The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  stared  at  me.  "  And  this 
Count  ?  "  she  went  on.  "  So  you  have  really  tracked  him  ? 
You  're  a  wonderful  girl,  my  dear.  I  wish  j-ou  were  a  lady's- 
maid.     You  'd  be  worth  me  any  money." 

I  explained  how  I  had  come  to  hear  of  Dr.  Fortescue- 
Langley. 

Lady  Georgina  waxed  warm.  "  Dr.  Fortescue-Langlej- !  " 
she  exclaimed.  "  The  wicked  wretch  !  But  he  did  n't  get 
my  diamonds  !  I '  ve  carried  them  here  in  my  hands,  all  the 
way  from  Wiesbaden  ;  I  was  n't  going  to  leave  them  for  a 
single  day  to  the  tender  mercies  of  that  unspeakable 
Gretchen.     The  fool  would  lose   them.     Well,  we  '11  catch 

8 


114  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

him  this  time,  Lois  ;  and  we  '11  give  him  ten  years  for 
it  !" 

"  Ten  years  !  "  Mrs.  Evelegh  cried,  clasping  her  hands  in 
horror.     "  Oh,  Lady  Georgina  !  " 

We  waited  in  Mrs.  Kvelegh's  dining-room,  the  old  lady 
and  I,  behind  the  folding-doors.  At  three  precisely.  Dr. 
Fortescue-Langley  walked  in.  I  had  difficnlty  in  restraining 
Lady  Georgina  from  falling  upon  him  prematurely.  He 
talked  a  lot  of  high-flown  nonsense  to  Mrs,  Evelegh  and 
Elsie  about  the  influences  of  the  planets,  and  the  seventy- 
five  emanations,  and  the  eternal  wisdom  of  the  East,  and  the 
medical  efficacy  of  sub-conscious  suggestion.  Excellent  pat- 
ter, all  of  it — quite  as  good  in  its  way  as  the  diplomatic 
patter  he  had  poured  forth  in  the  train  to  Lady  Georgina. 
It  was  rich  in  spheres,  in  elements,  in  cosmic  forces.  At 
last,  as  he  was  discussing  the  reciprocal  action  of  the  inner 
self  upon  the  exhalations  of  the  lungs,  we  pushed  back  the 
door  and  walked  calmly  in  upon  him. 

His  breath  came  and  went.  The  exhalations  of  the  lungs 
showed  visible  perturbation.  He  rose  and  stared  at  us. 
For  a  second  he  lost  his  composure.  Then,  as  bold  as  brass, 
he  turned,  with  a  cunning  smile,  to  Mrs.  Evelegh.  "  Where 
on  earth  did  you  pick,  up  such  acquaintances  ?  "  he  enquired, 
in  a  well-simulated  tone  of  surprise.  "  Yes,  Lady  Georgina, 
I  have  met  you  before,  I  admit  ;  but — it  can  hardly  be  agree- 
able to  you  to  reflect  under  what  circumstances." 

Lady  Georgina  was  beside  herself.  "You  dare?"  she 
cried,  confronting  him.  "  You  dare  to  brazen  it  out  ?  You 
miserable  sneak  !  But  you  can't  bluff  me  now.  I  have  the 
police  outside."  Which  I  regret  to  confess  was  a  light- 
hearted  fiction. 


The  Amateur  Commission  A<'cnt      us 

"  The  police  ?  "  he  echoed,  drawing-  bnck.  I  could  see  he 
was  frightened. 

I  had  an  inspiration  again.  "  Take  off  that  moustache  !  " 
I  said,  calmly,  in  my  most  commanding  voice. 


1   THOUGHT   IT  KINDER  TO  HIM   TO   REMOVE   IT   ALT0«;E  IHIiK. 

He  clapped  his  hand  \o  it  in  horror.  In  his  agitation,  he 
managed  to  pull  it  a  little  bit  awr^-.  It  looked  so  absurd, 
hanging  there,  all  crooked,  that  I  thought  it  kinder  to  him 
to  remove  it  altogether.     The  thing  peeled  off  with  diffi- 


1 1 6  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

culty  ;  for  it  was  a  work  of  art,  very  fimily  and  gracefully 
fastened  with  sticking-plaster.  But  it  peeled  off  at  last — 
and  with  it  the  whole  of  the  Count's  and  Dr.  Fortescue- 
Langley's  distinction.  The  man  stood  revealed,  a  very 
palpable  man-servant. 

Lady  Georgina  stared  hard  at  him.  "  Where  have  I 
seen  j'ou  before?"  she  murmured  slowly.  "That  face  is 
familiar  to  me.  Why,  yes  ;  you  went  once  to  Italy  as  Mr. 
Marmaduke  Ashurst's  courier  !  I  know  you  now.  Your 
name  is  Higginson." 

It  was  a  come-down  for  the  Comte  de  Laroche-sur-Loiret, 
but  he  swallowed  it  like  a  man  at  a  single  gulp. 

"  Yes,  my  lady,"  he  said,  fingering  his  hat  nervously, 
now  all  was  up.  "  You  are  quite  right,  my  lady.  But  what 
would  you  have  me  do  ?  Times  are  hard  on  us  couriers. 
Nobody  wants  us  now.  I  must  take  to  what  I  can."  He 
assumed  once  more  the  tone  of  the  Vienna  diplomat.  "  Que 
voulcz-voiis,  madame  ?  These  are  revolutionary  days.  A 
man  of  intelligence  must  move  with  the  Zeitgeist  !  " 

lyady  Georgina  burst  into  a  loud  laugh.  ' '  And  to  think, ' ' 
she  cried,  "  that  I  talked  to  this  lackey  from  London  to 
Malines  without  ever  suspecting  him  !  Higginson,  you  're 
a  fraud — but  you  're  a  precious  clever  one." 

He  bowed.  "  I  am  happy  to  have  merited  Lady  Georgina 
Fawley's  commendation,"  he  answered,  with  his  palm  on 
his  heart,  in  his  grandiose  manner. 

"  But  I  shall  hand  you  over  to  the  police,  all  the  same  ! 
You  are  a  thief  and  a  swindler  !  " 

He  assumed  a  comic  expression.  "  Unhappily,  not  a 
thief,"  he  objected.  •  "  This  young  lady  prevented  me  from 
appropriating  your  diamonds.     Convey,  the  wise  call  it.     I 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent      1 1 7 

wanted  to  take  your  jewel-case — and  she  put  me  off  with  a 
sandwich-tin.  I  wanted  to  make  an  honest  penny  out  of 
Mrs.  Evelegh  ;  and — she  confronts  nie  with  your  ladyship 
and  tears  my  moustache  off. ' ' 

Lady  Georgina  regarded  him  with  a  hesitating  expression. 
"  But  I  shall  call  the  police,"  she  said,  wavering  visibly. 

"  Dcgrdcc,  my  lady,  dc  gr&cc  !  Is  it  worth  while,  pour  si 
pen  de  chose  f  Consider,  I  have  really  effected  nothing. 
Will  you  charge  me  with  having  taken — in  error — a  small 
tin  sandwich-case — value,  elevenpence  ?  An  affair  of  a 
week's  imprisonment.  That  is  positively  all  you  can  bring 
up  against  me.  And,"  brightening  up  visibly,  "  I  have  the 
case  still ;  I  will  return  it  to-morrow  with  pleasure  to  your 
ladyship  !  " 

"  But  the  india-rubber  water-bottle  ?  "  I  put  in.  *'  You 
have  been  deceiving  Mrs.  Evelegh.  It  blackens  silver. 
And  you  told  her  lies  in  order  to  extort  money  under  false 
pretences. ' ' 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders.  "  You  are  too  clever  for  me, 
young  lady,"  he  broke  out.  "  I  have  nothing  to  say  to  you. 
But  Lady  Georgina,  Mrs.  Evelegh — you  are  human — let  me 
go  !  Reflect  ;  I  have  things  I  could  tell  that  would  make 
both  of  you  look  ridiculous.  That  journey  to  Malines,  Lady 
Georgina  !  Those  Indian  charms,  Mrs.  Evelegh  !  Besides 
you  have  spoiled  my  game.  Let  that  suffice  you  !  I  can 
practise  in  Switzerland  no  longer.  Allow  me  to  go  in  peace, 
and  I  will  try  once  more  to  be  indifferent  honest  !  " 

He  backed  slowly  towards  the  door,  with  his  eyes  fixed  on 
them.  I  stood  by  and  waited.  Inch  by  inch  he  retreated. 
Lady  Georgina  looked  down  abstractedly  at  the  carpet. 
Mrs.  Evelegh  looked  up  abstractedly  at  the  ceiling.     Neither 


s 
g 


a 

u 

S 

>< 
m 

a 
u 


ao 


The  Amateur  Commission  Agent       119 

spoke  another  word.  The  ro<;iie  backed  out  by  degrees. 
Then  he  sprang  down-stairs,  and  before  they  could  decide 
was  well  out  into  the  open. 

Lady  Georgina  was  the  first  to  break  the  silence.  "  After 
all,  my  dear,"  she  murmured,  turning  to  me,  "  there  was  a 
deal  of  sound  English  common-sense  about  Dogberry  !  " 

I  remembered  then  his  charge  to  the  watch  to  apprehend 
a  rogue.     "  How  if  'a  will  not  stand  ?  " 

"  Why,  then,  take  no  note  of  him,  but  let  him  go  ;  and 
presently  call  the  rest  of  the  watch  together,  and  thank  God 
you  are  rid  of  a  knave."  When  I  remembered  how  Lady 
Georgina  had  hob-nobbed  with  the  Count  from  Ostend  to 
Malines,  I  agreed  to  a  great  extent  both  with  her  and  with 
Dogberry. 


CHAPTER  V 

THE   ADVENTURE   OF  THE   IMPROMPTU   MOUNTAINEER 

THE  explosion  and  evaporation  of  Dr.  Fortescue-Iyangley 
(with  whom  were  amalgamated  the  Comte  de  Laroche- 
sur-Loiret,  Mr.  Higginson  the  courier,  and  whatever 
else  that  versatile  gentleman  chose  to  call  himself)  entailed 
many  results  of  var3Mng  magnitudes. 

In  the  first  place,  Mrs.  Evelegh  ordered  a  Great  Manitou. 
That,  however,  mattered  little  to  "  the  firm,"  as  I  loved  to 
call  us  (because  it  shocked  dear  Elsie  so) ;  for,  of  course,  after 
all  her  kiiidness  we  could  n't  accept  our  commission  on  her 
purchase,  so  that  she  got  her  machine  cheap  for  fifteen  pounds 
from  the  maker.  But,  in  the  second  place — I  declare  I  am 
beginning  to  write  like  a  woman  of  business — she  decided  to 
run  ov^r  to  England  for  the  summer  to  see  her  boy  at  Ports- 
mouth, being  certain  now  that  the  discoloration  of  her  bangle 
depended  more  on  the  presence  of  sulphur  in  the  india-rubber 
bottle  than  on  the  passing  state  of  her  astral  body.  'T  is  an 
abrupt  descent  from  the  inner  self  to  a  hot-water  bottle,  I 
admit  ;  but  Mrs,  Evelegh  took  the  plunge  with  grace,  like  a 
sensible  woman.  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley  had  been  annihi- 
lated for  her  at  one  blow:  she  returned  forthwith  to  common- 
sense  and  England. 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer  121 

"  What  will  you  do  with  the  chalet  while  j'ou  're  away  ?  " 
Lady  Georgiiia  asked,  when  she  announced  her  intention. 
"  You  can't  shut  it  up  to  take  care  of  itself.  Every  blessed 
thing  in  the  place  will  go  to  rack  and  ruin.  Shutting  up  a 
house  means  spoiling  it  for  ever.  Why,  I  've  got  a  cottage 
of  my  own  in  the  best  part  of  Surrey  that  I  let  for  the 
summer — a  pretty  little  place,  now  vacant,  for  which,  by  the  < 
way,  I  want  a  tenant,  if  you  happen  to  know  of  one — and 
when  it  's  left  empty  for  a  month  or  two " 

"  Perhaps  it  would  do  for  me?  "  Mrs.  Evelegh  suggested, 
jumping  at  it.  "I  'm  looking  out  for  a  furnished  house  for 
the  summer,  within  easy  reach  of  Portsmouth  and  London^ 
for  myself  and  Oliver." 

Lady  Georgina  seized  her  arm,  with  a  face  of  blank  horror. 
"  My  dear  I  "  she  cried.  "  For  you  !  I  would  n't  dream 
of  letting  it  to  you.  A  nasty,  damp,  cold,  unwholesome 
house,  on  stiff  clay  soil,  with  detestable  drains,  in  the  dead- 
liest part  of  the  Weald  of  Surrey, — why,  you  and  your  boy 
would  catch  your  deaths  of  rheumatism." 

"Is  it  the  one  I  saw  advertised  in  the  Times  this  morn- 
ing, I  wonder?  "  Mrs.  Evelegh  enquired  in  a  placid  voice. 
"  '  Charmingly  furnished  house  on  Holmesdale  Common  ; 
six  bedrooms,  four  reception-rooms  ;  splendid  views  ;  pure 
air;  picturesque  surroundings;  exceptionally  situated.'  I 
thought  of  writing  about  it." 

"  That  's  it  !  "  Lady  Georgina  exclaimed,  with  a  demon- 
strative wave  of  her  hand.  "  I  drew  up  the  advertisement 
myself.  Exceptionally  situated  !  I  should  just  think  it 
was  !  Why,  my  dear,  I  would  n't  let  you  rent  the  place  for 
worlds  ;  a  horrid,  poky  little  hole,  stuck  down  in  the  bottom 
of  a  boggy  hollow,  as  damp  as  Devonshire,  with  the  paper 


122  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

peeling  off  the  walls,  so  that  I  had  to  take  my  choice  between 
giving  it  up  myself  ten  years  ago  or  removing  to  the  ceme- 
tery; and  I  've  let  it  ever  since  to  City  men  with  large  fami- 
lies. Nothing  would  induce  me  to  allow  you  and  your  boy 
to  expose  yourself  to  such  risks."  For  Lady  Georgina  had 
taken  quite  a  fancy  to  Mrs.  Evelegh.  "  But  what  I  was 
just  going  to  say  was  this  :  you  can't  shut  your  house  up  ; 
it  '11  all  go  mould3\  Houses  always  go  mouldy,  shut  up  in 
summer.  And  you  can't  leave  it  to  your  servants  ;  /  know 
the  baggages  ;  no  conscience — no  conscience  ;  they  '11  ask 
their  entire  families  to  come  up  and  stop  with  them  en  bloc, 
and  turn  your  place  into  a  perfect  piggery.  Why,  when  I 
went  away  from  my  house  in  town  one  autumn,  did  n't  I 
leave  a  policeman  and  his  wife  in  charge — a  most  respectable 
man — only  he  happened  to  be  an  Irishman  ?  And  what  was 
the  consc-j^uence  ?  My  dear,  I  assure  you,  I  came  back  un- 
expectedly from  poor  dear  Kynaston's  one  day — at  a  mo- 
ment's notice — having  quarrelled  with  him  over  Home  Rule 
or  Education  or  something — poor  dear  Kynaston  's  what 
they  call  a  Liberal,  I  believe — got  at  by  that  man  Rosebery — 
and  there  did  n't  I  find  all  the  O' Flanagans,  and  O' Flaherty's, 
and  O'Flynns  in  the  neighbourhood  camping  out  in  my  draw- 
ing-room ;  with  a  strong  detachment  of  O'Donohues,  and 
O'Doherty's,  and  O'Driscolls  lying  around  loose  in  possession 
of  the  library  ?  Never  leave  a  house  to  the  servants,  my  dear  ! 
It  's  positively  suicidal.  Put  in  a  responsible  caretaker  of 
whom  j'ou  know  something — like  Lois  here,  for  instance." 

"  Lois  !  "  Mrs.  Evelegh  echoed.  "  Dear  me,  that  's  just 
the  very  thing.  What  a  capital  idea  !  I  never  thought  of 
Lois  !  She  and  Elsie  might  stop  on  here,  with  Ursula  and 
the  gardener." 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer 


123 


I  protested  that  if  we  did  it  was  our  clear  duty  to  pay  a 
small  rent;  but  Mrs.  Evelegli  brushed  that  aside.  "  You  've 
robbed  yourselves  about  the  bicycle,"  she  insisted,  "  and 
I  'm  delighted  to  let  you  have  it.  It  's  I  who  ought  to  pay, 
for  you  '11  keep  the  house  dry  for  me." 

I    remembered    Mr.    Hitchcock — "  Mutual    advantage : 


"  NKVKR   LEAVE   A   HOUSE  TO  THE   SERVANTS,    MY   DEAR!" 

benefits  you,  benefits  me" — and  made  no  bones  about  it. 
So  in  the  end  Mrs.  Evelegh  set  off  for  England  with  Cecile, 
leaving  Elsie  and  me  in  charge  of  Ursula,  the  gardener,  and 
the  chdlct. 

As  for  Lady  Georgina,  having  by  this  time  completed  her 
"  cure  "  at  Schlangenbad  (complexion  as  usual  ;  no  guinea 
yellower),  she  telegraphed  for  Gretchen — "  I  can't  do  with- 
out the  idiot  " — and  hung  round  Lucerne,  apparently  for  no 


124  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

other  purpose  but  to  send  people  up  the  Briinig  on  the  hunt 
for  our  wonderful  new  machines,  and  so  put  money  in  our 
pockets.  She  was  much  amused  when  I  told  her  that  Aunt 
Susan  (who  lived,  you  will  remember,  in  respectable  in- 
digence at  Blackheath)  had  written  to  expostulate  with  me 
on  my  "  unladylike"  conduct  in  becoming  a  bicycle  com- 
mission agent.  ' '  Unladylike ! ' '  the  Cantankerous  Old  Lady 
exclaimed,  with  warmth.  "  What  does  the  woman  mean  ? 
Has  she  got  no  gumption  ?  It  's  '  ladylike,'  I  suppose,  to 
be  a  companion,  or  a  governess,  or  a  music-teacher,  or  some- 
thing else  in  the  black-thread-glove  way,  in  London  ;  but  not 
to  sell  bicycles  for  a  good  round  commission.  M3'  dear,  be- 
tween you  and  me,  I  don't  see  it.  If  you  had  a  brother, 
now,  he  might  sell  bicycles,  or  corner  wheat,  or  rig  the  share 
market,  or  do  anything  else  he  pleased,  in  these  days,  and 
nobody  'd  think  the  worse  of  him — as  long  as  he  made 
money;  and  it 's  my  opinion  that  what  is  sauce  for  the  goose 
can't  be  far  out  for  the  gander — and  vice  versa.  Besides 
which,  what 's  the  use  of  trying  to  be  ladylike  ?  You  are  a 
lady,  child,  and  you  could  n't  help  being  one  ;  why  trouble 
to  be  like  what  nature  made  you  ?  Tell  Aunt  Susan  from 
me  to  put  that  in  her  pipe  and  smoke  it  !  " 

,1  did  tell  Aunt  Susan  by  letter,  giving  Lady  Georgina  as 
authority  for  the  statement  ;  and  I  really  believe  it  had  a 
consoling  effect  upon  her  ;  for  Aunt  Susan  is  one  of  those 
innocent-minded  people  who  cherish  a  profound  respect  for 
the  opinions  and  ideas  of  a  Lady  of  Title.  Especially  where 
questions  of  delicacy  are  concerned.  It  calmed  her  to  think 
that  though  I,  an  officer's  daughter,  had  declined  upon 
trade,  I  was  mixing  at  least  with  the  Best  People  ! 
We  had  a  lovely  time  at  the  chdlet — two  girls  alone,  mess- 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         125 

ing  just  as  we  pleased  in  the  kitchen,  and  learning  from 
Ursula  how  to  concoct  pot-au-feic  in  the  most  approved  Swiss 
fashion.  We  pottered,  as  we  women  love  to  potter,  half  the 
day  long  ;  the  other  half  we  spent  in  riding  our  cycles  about 
the  eternal  hills,  and  ensnaring  the  flies  whom  Lady 
Georgina  dutifully  sent  up  to  us.  She  was  our  decoy  duck  ; 
and,  in  virtue  of  her  handle,  she  decoyed  to  a  marvel.  In- 
deed, I  sold  so  many  Manitous  that  I  began  to  entertain  a 
deep  respect  for  my  own  commercial  faculties.  As  for  Mr. 
Cyrus  W.  Hitchcock,  he  wrote  to  me  from  Frankfort  :  "  The 
world  continues  to  revolve  on  its  axis,  the  Manitou,  and  the 
machine  is  booming.  Orders  romp  in  daily.  When  you 
ventilated  the  suggestion  of  an  agency  at  Limburg,  I  con- 
cluded at  a  glance  you  had  the  material  of  a  first-class  busi- 
ness woman  about  you  ;  but  I  reckon  I  did  not  know  what  a 
traveller  meant  till  you  started  on  the  road.  I  am  now  en- 
larging and  altering  this  factory,  to  meet  increased  demands. 
Branch  offices  at  Berlin,  Hamburg,  Crefeld,  and  Diisseldorf. 
Inspect  our  stock  before  dealing  elsewhere.  A  liberal  dis- 
count allowed  to  the  trade.  Two  hundred  agents  wanted  in 
all  towns  of  Germany.  If  they  were  every  one  of  them  like 
yoic,  miss, — well,  I  guess  I  would  hire  the  town  of  Frankfort 
for  my  business  premises." 

One  morning,  after  we  had  spent  about  a  week  at  the  chdld 
by  ourselves,  I  was  surprised  to  see  a  young  man  with  a 
knapsack  on  his  back  walking  up  the  garden  path  towards 
our  cottage.  "  Quick,  quick,  Elsie  !  "  I  cried,  being  in  a 
mischievous  mood.  "  Come  here  with  the  opera-glass  ! 
There  's  a  Man  in  the  offing  !  " 

"A  what?''  Elsie  exclaimed,  shocked  as  usual  at  my 
levity. 


126  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  A  Man,"  I  answered,  squeezing  her  arm.  "  A  Man  ! 
A  real  live  Man  !  A  specimen  of  the  masculine  gender  in 
the  human  being  !  Man,  ahoy  !  He  has  come  at  last — the 
loadstar  of  our  existence  !  " 

Next  minute,  I  was  sorry  I  spoke  ;  for  as  the  man  drew 
nearer,  I  perceived  that  he  was  endowed  with  very  long  legs 
and  a  languidly  poetical  bearing.  That  supercilious  smile — 
that  enticing  moustache  !  Could  it  be  ? — yes,  it  was — not  a 
doubt  of  it— Harold  Tillington  ! 

I  grew  grave  at  once  ;  Harold  Tillington  and  the  situation 
were  serious.  "What  can  he  want  here?"  I  exclaimed, 
drawing  back. 

"  Who  is  it  ?  "  Elsie  asked  ;  for,  being  a  woman,  she  read 
at  once  in  my  altered  demeanour  the  fact  that  the  Man  was 
not  unknown  to  me. 

"  Lady  Georgina's  nephew,"  I  answered,  with  a  telltale 
cheek,  I  fear.  "  You  remember  I  mentioned  to  you  that  I 
had  met  him  at  Schlangenbad.  But  this  is  really  too  bad 
of  that  wicked  old  Lady  Georgina.  She  has  told  him  where 
we  lived  and  sent  him  up  to  see  us." 

"  Perhaps,"  Elsie  put  in,  "  he  wants  to  charter  a  bicycle." 

I  glanced  at  Elsie  sideways.  I  had  an  uncomfortable  sus- 
picion that  she  said  it  slyly,  like  one  who  knew  he  wanted 
nothing  of  the  sort.  But  at  any  rate,  I  brushed  the  sugges- 
tion aside  frankly.  "  Nonsense,"  I  answered.  "  He  wants 
me,  not  a  bicycle." 

He  came  up  to  us,  waiting  his  hat.  He  did  look  hand- 
some !  "  Well,  Miss  Cayley,"  he  cried  from  afar,  "  I  have 
tracked  you  to  your  lair  !  I  have  found  out  where  you 
abide  !  What  a  beautiful  spot  !  And  how  well  you  're 
looking  !  " 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         127 

"  This  is  an  unexpected — "  I  paused.  He  thought  I 
was  going  to  say,  "  pleasure,"  but  I  finished  it,  "  intrusion." 
His  face  fell.  "  How  did  you  know  we  were  at  Lungern, 
Mr.  Tillington?" 

*'  My  respected  relative,"  he  answered,  laughing.  "  She 
mentioned — casually — "  his  eyes  met  mine — "  that  you  were 
stopping  in  a  ch&let.  And,  as  I  was  on  my  way  back  to  the 
diplomatic  mill,  I  thought  I  might  just  as  well  walk  over 
the  Grimsel  and  the  Furca,  and  then  on  to  the  Gothard. 
The  Court  is  at  Monza.  So  it  occurred  to  me  .  .  .  that 
in  passing  ...  I  might  venture  to  drop  in  and  say  how- 
do-you-do  to  you." 

"  Thank  you,"  I  answered,  severely — but  my  heart  spoke 
otherwise — "  I  do  very  well.     And  you,  Mr.  Tillington  ?  " 

"  Badly,"  he  echoed.  **  Badly,  since _y^?<  went  away  from 
Schlangenbad." 

I  gazed  at  his  dusty  feet.  "  You  are  tramping,"  I  said, 
cruelly.  "  I  suppose  you  will  get  forward  for  lunch  to 
Meiringen  ?  " 

"  I — I  did  not  contemplate  it." 

"Indeed?" 

He  grew  bolder.  "  No  ;  to  say  the  truth,  I  half  hoped  I 
might  stop  and  spend  the  day  here  with  you." 

"  Elsie,"  I  remarked  firmly,  "  if  Mr.  Tillington  persists  in 
planting  himself  upon  us  like  this,  one  of  us  must  go  and  in- 
vestigate the  kitchen  department." 

Elsie  rose  like  a  lamb.  I  have  an  impression  that  she 
gathered  we  wanted  to  be  left  alone. 

He  turned  to  me  imploringly.  "  Lois,"  he  cried,  stretch- 
ing out  his  arms,  with  an  appealing  air,  "  I  may  stay, 
may  n't  I  ?  " 


128 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


I  tried  to  be  stern  ;  but  I  fear  't  was  a  feeble  pretence. 
**  We  are  two  girls,  alone  in  a  house,"  I  answered.  "  Lady 
Georgina,  as  a  matron  of  experience,  ought  to  have  pro- 
tected us.      Merely  to  give  you  lunch  is  almost  irregular." 


"I   MAY   STAY,    MAY   N'T   I?" 

(Good  diplomatic  word,  irregular.)  "  Still,  in  these  days,  I 
suppose  you  may  stay,  if  you  leave  early  in  the  afternoon. 
That  's  the  utmost  I  can  do  for  you." 

"  You  are  not  gracious,"  he  cried,  gazing  at  me  with  a 
wistful  look. 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         129 

I  did  not  dare  to  be  gracious.  "  Uninvited  guests  must 
not  quarrel  with  their  welcome,"  I  answered  severely. 
Then  the  woman  in  me  broke  forth.  "  But,  indeed,  Mr. 
Tillington,  I  am  glad  to  see  j'ou." 

He  leaned  forward  eagerly.  "  So  you  are  not  angry  with 
me,  lyois  ?     I  may  call  you  Lois  f  " 

I  trembled  and  hesitated.  "  I  am  not  angry  with  you. 
I — I  like  you  too  much  ever  to  be  angry  with  you.  And  I 
am  glad  you  came — just  this  once — to  see  me.  .  .  .  Yes 
— when  we  are  alone — you  may  call  me  Lois." 

He  tried  to  seize  my  hand.  I  withdrew  it.  "  Then  I 
may  perhaps  hope,"  he  began,  "  that  some  day " 

I  shook  my  head.  "  No,  no,"  I  said  regretfully.  "  You 
misunderstand  me.  I  like  you  very  much  ;  and  I  like  to 
see  you.  But  as  long  as  you  are  rich  and  have  prospects 
like  yours,  I  could  never  marry  you.  My  pride  would  n't 
let  me.     Take  that  as  final." 

I  looked  away.  He  bent  forward  again.  "  But  if  I  were 
poor  ?  "  he  put  in  eagerly. 

I  hesitated.  Then  my  heart  rose,  and  I  gave  way.  "  If 
ever  you  are  poor,"  I  faltered, — "  penniless,  hunted,  friend- 
less— come  to  me,  Harold,  and  I  will  help  and  comfort  you. 
But  not  till  then.     Not  till  then,  I  implore  you." 

He  leaned  back  and  clasped  his  hands.  "  You  have  given 
me  something  to  live  for,  dear  Lois,"  he  murmured.  "  I 
will  try  to  be  poor — penniless,  hunted,  friendless.  To  win 
you  I  will  try.  And  when  that  day  arrives,  I  shall  come  to 
claim  you." 

W^  sat  for  an  hour  and  had  a  delicious  talk — about 
nothing.  But  we  understood  each  other.  Only  that  arti- 
ficial barrier  divided  us.     At  the  end  of  the  hour,  I  heard 


130  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

Elsie  coming  back  by  judiciously  slow  stages  from  the  kitchen 
to  the  living-room,  through  six  feet  of  passage,  discoursing 
audibly  to  Ursula  all  the  way,  with  a  tardiness  that  did 
honour  to  her  heart  and  her  understanding.  Dear,  kind 
little  Elsie  !  I  believe  she  had  never  a  tiny  romance  of  her 
own  ;  yet  her  sympathy  for  others  was  sweet  to  look  upon. 

We  lunched  at  a  small  deal  table  on  the  veranda.  Around 
us  rose  the  pinnacles.  The  scent  of  pines  and  moist  moss 
was  in  the  air.  Elsie  had  arranged  the  flowers,  and  got 
ready  the  omelette,  and  cooked  the  cutlets,  and  prepared 
the  junket.  "  I  never  thought  I  could  do  it  alone  with- 
out you.  Brownie  ;  but  I  tried,  and  it  all  came  right  by 
magic,  somehow."  We  laughed  and  talked  incessantly. 
Harold  was  in  excellent  cue  ;  and  Elsie  took  to  him.  A 
livelier  or  merrier  table  there  was  n't  in  the  twenty-two 
Cantons  that  day  than  ours,  under  the  sapphire  sky,  looking 
out  on  the  sun-smitten  snows  of  the  Jungfrau. 

After  lunch,  Harold  begged  hard  to  be  allowed  to  stop  for 
tea.  I  had  misgivings,  but  I  gave  way — he  was  such  good 
company.  One  may  as  well  be  hanged  for  a  sheep  as  a  lamb, 
says  the  wisdom  of  our  ancestors;  and,  after  all,  Mrs.  Grundy 
was  only  represented  here  by  Elsie,  the  gentlest  and  least 
censorious  of  her  daughters.  So  he  stopped  and  chatted 
till  four  ;  when  I  made  tea  and  insisted  on  dismissing  him. 
He  meant  to  take  the  rough  mountain  path  over  the  screes 
from  I/Ungern  to  Meiringen,  which  ran  right  behind  the 
chdlet.  I  feared  lest  he  might  be  belated,  and  urged  him  to 
hurry. 

"  Thanks,  I  'm  happier  here,"  he  answered. 

I  was  sternness  itself.  "  Yo\x  promised  me  !  "  I  said,  in  a 
reproachful  voice. 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         131 

He  rose  instantly,  and  bowed.  "  Your  will  is  law — even 
when  it  pronounces  sentence  of  exile." 

Would  we  walk  a  little  way  with  him  ?  No,  I  faltered  ; 
we  would  not.  We  would  follow  him  with  the  opera-glasses 
and  wave  him  farewell  when  he  reached  the  Kulm.  He 
shook  our  hands  unwillingly,  and  turned  up  the  little  path, 
looking  handsomer  than  ever.  It  led  ascending  through  a 
fir- wood  to  the  rock-strewn  hillside. 

Once,  a  quarter  of  an  hour  later,  we  caught  a  glimpse  of 
him  near  a  sharp  turn  in  the  road  ;  after  that  we  waited  in 
vain,  with  our  eyes  fixed  on  the  Kulm  ;  not  a  sign  could  we 
discern  of  him.  At  last  I  grew  anxious.  "  He  ought  to  be 
there,"  I  cried,  fuming. 

"  He  ought,"  Elsie  answered. 

I  swept  the  slopes  with  the  opera-glasses.  Anxiety  and 
interest  in  him  quickened  my  senses,  I  suppose.  "  Look 
here,  Elsie,"  I  burst  out  at  last.  "  Just  take  this  glass  and 
have  a  glance  at  those  birds,  down  the  crag  below  the 
Kulm.  Don't  they  seem  to  be  circling  and  behaving  most 
oddly?" 

Elsie  gazed  where  I  bid  her.  "  They  're  wheeling  round 
and  round,"  she  answered,  after  a  minute  ;  "  and  they  cer- 
tainly do  look  as  if  they  were  screaming." 

"  They  seem  to  be  frightened,"  I  suggested. 

**  It  looks  like  it.  Brownie," 

"  Then  he  's  fallen  over  a  precipice  !  "  I  cried,  rising  up  ; 
"  and  he  's  lying  there  on  a  ledge  by  their  nest.  Elsie,  we 
must  go  to  him  ! ' ' 

She  clasped  her  hands  and  looked  terrified.  * '  Oh,  Brownie, 
how  dreadful  ! ' '  she  exclaimed.  Her  face  was  deadly  white. 
Mine  burned  like  fire. 


132  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

"  Not  a  moment  to  lose  !  "  I  said,  holding  my  breath. 
"  Get  out  the  rope  and  let  us  run  to  him  !  " 

"  Don't  you  think,"  Elsie  suggested,  "  we  had  better 
hurry  down  on  our  cycles  to  Lungern  and  call  some  men 
from  the  village  to  help  us  ?  We  are  two  girls,  and  alone. 
What  can  we  do  to  aid  him  ?  " 

"  No,"  I  answered,  promptly,  "  that  won't  do.  It  would 
only  lose  time — and  time  may  be  precious.  You  and  I  must 
go  ;  I  '11  send  Ursula  off  to  bring  up  guides  from  the 
village." 

Fortunately  we  had  a  good  long  coil  of  new  rope  in  the 
house,  which  Mrs.  Evelegh  had  provided  in  case  of  accident. 
I  slipped  it  on  my  arm,  and  set  out  on  foot  ;  for  the  path  was 
by  far  too  rough  for  cycles.  I  was  sorry  afterwards  that  I 
had  not  taken  Ursula,  and  sent  Elsie  to  Lungern  to  rouse 
the  men  ;  for  she  found  the  climbing  hard,  and  I  had  ditii- 
culty  at  times  in  dragging  her  up  the  steep  and  stony  path- 
way, almost  a  watercourse.  However,  we  persisted  in  the 
direction  of  the  Kulm,  tracking  Harold  by  his  footprints  ; 
for  he  wore  mountain  boots  with  sharp-headed  nails,  which 
made  dints  in  the  moist  soil,  and  scratched  the  smooth  sur- 
face of  the  rock  where  he  trod  on  it.  We  followed  him  thus 
for  a  mile  or  two,  along  the  regular  path  ;  then  of  a  sudden, 
in  an  open  part,  the  trail  failed  us.  I  turned  back  a  few 
yards  and  looked  close,  with  my  eyes  fixed  on  the  spongy 
soil,  as  keen  as  a  hound  that  sniffs  his  way  after  his  quarry. 
"  He  went  off  here,  Elsie  !  "  I  said  at  last,  pulling  up  .short 
by  a  spindle  bush  on  the  hillside. 

"  How  do  you  know,  Brownie  ?  " 

"  Why,  see,  there  are  the  marks  of  his  stick  ;  he  had  a 
thick  one,  you  remember,  with  a  square  iron  spike.     These 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         133 

are  its  dints  ;  I  have  been  watching  them  all  the  way  along 
from  the  chdlct:' 

* '  But  there  are  so  many  such  marks  ! ' ' 

"  Yes,  I  know  ;  I  can  tell  his  from  the  older  ones  made  by 
the  spikes  of  alpenstocks  because  Harold's  are  fresher  and 
sharper  on  the  edge.  They  look  so  much  newer.  See,  here, 
he  slipped  on  the  rock  ;  you  can  know  that  scratch  is  recent 
by  the  clean  way  it  's  traced,  and  the  little  glistening  crys- 
tals still  left  behind  in  it.  Those  other  marks  have  been 
wind-swept  and  washed  by  the  rain.  There  are  no  broken 
particles." 

"  How  on  earth  did  you  find  that  out,  Brownie  ?  " 

How  on  earth  did  I  find  it  out  !  I  wondered  myself.  But 
the  emergency  seemed  somehow  to  teach  me  something  of 
the  instinctive  lore  of  hunters  and  savages.  I  did  not 
trouble  to  answer  her.  "  At  this  bush,  the  tracks  fail,"  I 
went  on  ;  "  and,  look,  he  must  have  clutched  at  that  branch 
and  crushed  the  broken  leaves  as  the  twigs  slipped  through 
his  fingers.  He  left  the  path  here,  then,  and  struck  off  on 
a  short  cut  of  his  own  along  the  hillside,  lower  down.  Elsie, 
we  must  follow  him." 

She  shrank  from  it ;  but  I  held  her  hand.  It  was  a  more 
difficult  task  to  track  him  now  ;  for  we  had  no  longer  the 
path  to  guide  us.  However,  I  explored  the  ground  on  my 
hands  and  knees,  and  soon  found  marks  of  footsteps  on  the 
boggy  patches,  with  scratches  on  the  rock  where  he  had  leaped 
from  point  to  point,  or  planted  his  stick  to  steady  himself. 
I  tried  to  help  Elsie  along  among  the  littered  boulders  and 
the  dwarf  growth  of  wind-swept  daphne  ;  but,  poor  child,  it 
was  too  much  for  her;  she  sat  down  after  a  few  minutes  upon 
the  flat  juniper  scrub  and  began  to  cry.     What  was  I  to  do  ? 


134  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

My  anxiety  was  breathless.  I  could  n't  leave  her  there 
alone,  and  I  could  n't  forsake  Harold.  Yet  I  felt  every 
minute  might  now  be  critical.  We  were  making  among  wet 
whortleberry  thicket  and  torn  rock  towards  the  spot  where 
I  had  seen  the  birds  wheel  and  circle,  screaming.  The  only 
way  left  was  to  encourage  Elsie  and  make  her  feel  the  neces- 
sity for  instant  action.  "  He  is  alive  still,"  I  exclaimed, 
looking  up  ;  "  the  birds  are  crying  !  If  he  were  dead,  they 
would  return  to  their  nest — Elsie,  we  must  get  to  him  !  " 

She  rose,  bewildered,  and  followed  me.  I  held  her  hand 
tight,  and  coaxed  her  to  scramble  over  the  rocks  where  the 
scratches  showed  the  way,  or  to  clamber  at  times  over  fallen 
trunks  of  huge  fir-trees.  Yet  it  was  hard  work  climbing  ; 
even  Harold's  sure  feet  had  slipped  often  On  the  wet  and 
slimy  boulders,  though,  like  most  of  Queen  Margherita's  set, 
he  was  an  expert  mountaineer.  Then,  at  times,  I  lost  the 
faint  track,  so  that  I  had  to  diverge  and  look  close  to  find  it. 
These  delays  fretted  me.  '  *  See,  a  stone  loosed  from  its  bed 
— he  must  have  passed  by  here.  .  .  .  That  twig  is  newly 
snapped  ;  no  doubt  he  caught  at  it.  .  .  .  Ha,  the  moss 
there  has  been  crushed  ;  a  foot  has  gone  by.  And  the  ants 
on  that  ant-hill,  with  their  eggs  in  their  mouths — a  man's 
tread  has  frightened  them."  So,  by  some  instinctive  sense, 
as  if  the  spirit  of  my  savage  ancestors  reviv^ed  within  me,  I 
managed  to  recover  the  spoor  again  and  again  by  a  miracle, 
till  at  last,  round  a  corner  by  a  defiant  cliff — with  a  terrible 
foreboding,  my  heart  stood  still  within  me. 

We  had  come  to  an  end.  A  great  projecting  buttress  of 
crag  rose  sheer  in  front.  Above  lay  loose  boulders.  Below 
was  a  shrub-hung  precipice.  The  birds  we  had  seen  from 
home  were  still  circling  and  screaming. 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer  135 


They  were  a  pair  of  peregrine  hawks.     Their  iiest  seemed 
to    lie    far  below   the  broken 
scar,  some  sixty  or  seventy  feet 
beneath  us. 

"  He    is    not   )  , 

dead  !  "   I   cried  J  (  f/ 

once  more,  with  ( ,' 


my   heart  in  my 

mouth.     "  If  he 

were,  they   would   have 

returned.   He  has  fallen, 

and  is  lying,  alive,  below 

there!" 

Elsie  shrank  back  against 
the  wall  of  rock.  I  advanced 
on  my  hands  and  knees  to 
the  edge  of  the  precipice.  It 
was  not  quite  sheer,  but  it 
dropped  like  a  sea-cliff,  with  broken  ledges. 


I  ADVANCED  ON  MY  HANDS  AND  KNEES 
TO  THE   EDGE   OF   THE    TRECU'ICE. 


13^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

I  could  see  where  Harold  had  slipped.  He  had  tried  to 
climb  round  the  crag  that  blocked  the  road,  and  the  ground 
at  the  edge  of  the  precipice  had  given  way  with  him  ;  it 
showed  a  recent  founder  of  a  few  inches.  Then  he  clutched 
at  a  branch  of  broom  as  he  fell  ;  but  it  slipped  through  his 
fingers,  cutting  them  ;  for  there  was  blood  on  the  \vir3'  stem. 
I  knelt  by  the  side  of  the  cliff  and  craned  my  head  over.  I 
scarcely  dared  to  look.  In  spite  of  the  birds,  my  heart  mis- 
gave me. 

There,  on  a  ledge  deep  below,  he  lay  in  a  mass,  half  raised 
on  one  arm.  But  not  dead,  I  believed.  "  Harold  !  "  I  cried. 
"Harold!" 

He  turned  his  face  up  and  saw  me  ;  his  eyes  lighted  with 
joy.     He  shouted  back  something,  but  I  could  not  hear  it. 

I  turned  to  Elsie.     "  I  must  go  down  to  him  !  " 

Her  tears  rose  again.     "  Oh,  Brownie  !  " 

I  unwound  the  coil  of  rope.  The  first  thing  was  to  fasten 
it.  I  could  not  trust  Elsie  to  hold  it ;  she  was  too  weak  and 
too  frightened  to  bear  my  weight ;  even  if  I  wound  it  round 
her  body,  I  feared  my  mere  mass  might  drag  her  over.  I 
peered  about  at  the  surroundings.  No  tree  grew  near  ;  no 
rock  had  a  pinnacle  sufiiciently  safe  to  depend  upon.  But  I 
found  a  plan  soon.  In  the  crag  behind  me  was  a  cleft, 
narrowing  wedge-shape  as  it  descended.  I  tied  the  end  of 
the  rope  round  a  stone,  a  good  big  water-w^orn  stone,  rudely 
girdled  with  a  groove  near  the  middle,  which  prevented  it 
from  slipping  ;  then  I  dropped  it  down  the  fissure  till  it 
jannned  ;  after  which,  I  tried  it  to  see  if  it  would  bear.  It 
was  firm  as  the  rock  itself.  I  let  the  rope  down  by  it,  and 
waited  a  moment  to  discover  whether  Harold  could  climb. 
He  shook  his  head,  and  took  a  note-book  with  evident  pain 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         i37 

from  his  pocket.  Then  he  scribbled  a  few  words,  and  pinned 
them  to  the  rope.  I  hauled  it  up.  "  Can't  move.  Either 
severely  bruised  and  sprained,  or  else  legs  broken." 

There  was  no  help  for  it,  then.     I  must  go  to  him. 

My  first  idea  was  merely  to  glide  down  the  rope  with  my 
gloved  hands,  for  I  chanced  to  have  my  dog-skin  bicycling 
gloves  in  my  pocket.  Fortunately,  however,  I  did  not  carry 
out  this  crude  idea  too  hastily  ;  for  next  instant  it  occurred 
to  me  that  I  could  not  swarm  up  again.  I  have  had  no 
practice  in  rope-climbing.  Here  was  a  problem.  But  the 
moment  suggested  its  own  solution.  I  began  making  knots, 
or  rather  nooses  or  loops,  in  the  rope,  at  intervals  of  about 
eighteen  inches.  "  What  are  they  for  ?  "  Elsie  asked,  look- 
ing on  in  wonder. 

' '  Footholds,  to  climb  up  by. ' ' 

*'  But  the  ones  above  will  pull  out  with  your  weight." 

"  I  don't  think  so.  Still,  to  make  sure,  I  shall  tie  them 
with  this  string,     I  fnusf  get  down  to  him." 

I  threaded  a  sufficient  number  of  loops,  trying  the  length 
over  the  ledge.  Then  I  said  to  Elsie,  who  sat  cowering, 
propped  against  the  crag,  ' '  You  must  come  and  look  over, 
and  do  as  I  wave  to  you.  Mind,  dear,  you  must!  Two 
lives  depend  upon  it." 

•'Brownie,  I  dare  n't!  I  shall  turn  giddy  and  fall 
over  ! ' ' 

I  smoothed  her  golden  hair.  "  Elsie,  dear,"  I  said  gently, 
gazing  into  her  blue  eyes,  "  j'ou  are  a  woman.  A  woman 
can  always  be  brave,  where  those  she  loves  are  concerned  ; 
and  I  believe  you  love  me."  I  led  her,  coaxingly,  to  the 
edge.  "  Sit  there,"  I  said,  in  my  quietest  voice,  so  as  not 
to  alarm  her.     "  You  can  lie  at  full  length,  if  you  like,  and 


138 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


I  GRIPPED  THE  ROPE  AND  LET  MYSELF  DOWN. 


only  just  peep  over. 
But  when  I  wave  my 
hand,  remember,  you 
must  pull  the  rope 
up." 

She  obeyed  me  like 
a  child.  I  knew  she 
loved  me. 

I  gripped  the  rope 
and  let  myself  down. 


y'^    not  using  the  loops  to 
'^    descend,  but  just  slid- 


ing with  hands  and 
knees,  and  allowing 
the  knots  to  slacken 
my  pace.  Half-way 
down^  I  will  confess, 
the  eerie  feeling  of 
physical  suspense  was 
horrible.  One  hung 
so  in  mid-air  !  The 
hawks  flapped  their 
wings.  But  Harold 
was  below  ;  and  a 
woman  can  always  be 
brave  where  those  she 
loves — well,  just  that 
moment,  catching  my 
breath,  I  knew  I  loved 
Harold. 
I   glided    swiftly 


■J  / 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         139 

down.  The  air  whizzed.  At  last,  on  a  narrow  shelf  of 
rock,  I  leaned  over  him.  He  seized  my  hand.  ' '  I  knew  you 
would  come  !  "  he  cried.  "  I  felt  sure  j'ou  would  find  out. 
Though  hoiv  you  found  out,  Heaven  only  knows,  you  clever, 
brave  little  woman  !  " 

"  Are  you  terribly  hurt  ?  "  I  asked,  bending  close.  His 
clothes  were  torn. 

"  I  hardly  know.     I  can't  move.     It  may  only  be  bruises." 

"  Can  you  climb  by  the.se  nooses  with  my  help  ?  " 

He  shook  his  head.  "  Oh,  no.  I  could  n't  climb  at  all. 
I  must  be  lifted,  somehow.  You  had  better  go  back  to 
Lungern  and  bring  men  to  help  you." 

"  And  leave  you  here  alone  !     Never,  Harold  ;  never  !  " 

"  Then  what  can  we  do  ?  " 

I  reflected  a  moment.  "Lend  me  your  pencil,"  I  said. 
He  pulled  it  out — his  arms  were  almost  unhurt,  fortun- 
ately. I  scribbled  a  line  to  Elsie.  "  Tie  my  plaid  to  the 
rope  and  let  it  down."  Then  I  waved  to  her  to  pull  up 
again. 

I  was  half  surprised  to  find  she  obeyed  the  signal,  for  she 
crouched  there,  white-faced  and  open-mouthed,  watching  ; 
but  I  have  often  observed  that  women  are  almost  always 
brave  in  great  emergencies.  She  pinned  on  the  plaid  and 
let  it  down  with  commendable  quickness.  I  doubled  it, 
and  tied  firm  knots  in  the  four  corners,  so  as  to  make  it  into 
a  sort  of  basket  ;  then  I  fastened  it  at  each  corner  with  a 
piece  of  the  rope,  crossed  in  the  middle,  till  it  looked  like 
one  of  the  cages  they  use  in  mills  for  letting  down  sacks 
with.  As  soon  as  it  was  finished,  I  said,  "  Now,  just  try  to 
crawl  into  it." 

He  raised  himself  on  his  arms  and  crawled  in  with  diffi- 


HO        ^    Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

culty.     His  legs  dragged  after  him.     I  could  see  he  was  in 
great  pain.     But  still,  he  managed  it. 

I  planted  my  foot  in  the  first  noose.     "  You  must  sit  still," 
I  said,  breathless.     "  I  am  going  back  to  haul  you  up." 

"  Are  you  strong  enough,  Lois  ?  " 

"  With  Elsie  to  help  me,  yes.  I  often  stroked  a  four  at 
Girton." 

"  I  can  trust  you,"  he  answered.  It  thrilled  me  that  he 
said  so. 

I  began  my  hazardous  journey  ;  I  mounted  the  rope  by 
the  nooses — one,  two,  three,  four,  counting  them  as  I 
mounted.  I  did  not  dare  to  look  up  or  down  as  I  did  so, 
lest  I  should  grow  giddy  and  fall,  but  kept  my  eyes  fixed 
firmly  always  on  the  one  noose  in  front  of  me.  My  brain 
swam  ;  the  rope  swayed  and  creaked.  Twenty,  thirty, 
forty  !  Foot  after  foot,  I  slipped  them  in  mechanically, 
taking  up  with  me  the  longer  coil  whose  ends  were  attached 
to  the  cage  and  Harold.  My  hands  trembled  ;  it  was 
ghastly,  swinging  there  between  earth  and  heav^en.  Forty- 
five,  forty-six,  forty-seven — I  knew  there  were  forty-eight 
of  them.  At  las'  •'ter  some  weeks,  as  it  seemed,  I  reached 
the  summit.  Treniiuous  and  half  dead,  I  prised  myself  over 
the  edge  with  my  hands,  and  knelt  once  more  on  the  hill  be- 
side Elsie. 

She  was  white,  but  attentive.  "  What  next,  Brownie  ?  " 
Her  voice  quivered. 

I  looked  about  me.  I  was  too  faint  and  shaky  after  my 
perilous  ascent  to  be  fit  for  work,  but  there  was  no  help  for 
it.  What  could  I  use  as  a  pulley  ?  Not  a  tree  grew  near  ; 
but  the  stone  jammed  in  the  fissure  might  once  more  serve 
my  purpose.     I  tried  it  again.     It  had  borne  my  weight  ; 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         141 

was  it  strong  enough  to  bear  the  precious  weight  of  Harold  ? 
I  tugged  at  it,  and  thought  so.  I  passed  the  rope  round  it 
like  a  pulley,  and  then  tied  it  about  my  own  waist.  I  had 
a  happy  thought :  I  could  use  myself  as  a  windlass.  I  turned 
on  my  feet  for  a  pivot.  Elsie  helped  me  to  pull.  "  Up  you 
go  !  "  I  cried,  cheerily.  We  wound  slowly,  for  fear  of  shak- 
ing him.  Bit  by  bit,  I  could  feel  the  cage  rise  gradually 
from  the  ground  ;  its  weight,  taken  so,  with  living  capstan 
and  stone  axle,  was  less  than  I  should  have  expected.  But 
the  pulley  helped  us,  and  Elsie,  spurred  by  need,  put  forth 
more  reserve  of  nervous  strength  than  I  could  easily  have 
believed  lay  in  that  tiny  body.  I  twisted  myself  round  and 
round,  close  to  the  edge,  so  as  to  look  over  from  time  to 
time,  but  not  at  all  quickly,  for  fear  of  dizziness.  The  rope 
strained  and  gave.  It  was  a  deadly  ten  minutes  of  suspense 
and  anxiety.  Twice  or  thrice  as  I  looked  down  I  saw  a 
spasm  of  pain  break  over  Harold's  face  ;  but  when  I  paused 
and  glanced  enquiringly,  he  motioned  me  to  go  on  with  my 
venturesome  task.  There  was  no  turning  back  now.  We 
had  almost  got  him  up  when  the  rope  at  the  edge  began 
to  creak  ominously. 

It  was  straining  at  the  point  where  it  grated  against  the 
brink  of  the  precipice.  My  heart  gave  a  leap.  If  the  rope 
broke,  all  was  over. 

With  a  sudden  dart  forward,  I  seized  it  with  my  hands, 
below  the  part  that  gave  ;  then — one  fierce  little  run  back — 
and  I  brought  him  level  with  the  edge.  He  clutched  at 
Elsie's  hand.  I  turned  thrice  round,  to  wind  the  slack  about 
my  body.  The  taut  rope  cut  deep  into  my  flesh  ;  but  no- 
thing mattered  now,  except  to  save  him.  "  Catch  the  cloak, 
Elsie  !  "  I  cried  ;  "  catch  it :  pull  him  gently  in  !  "     Elsie 


142 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


caught  it  and  pulled  him  in,  with  wonderful  pluck  and  calm- 
ness. We  hauled 
him  over  the  edge. 
He  lay  safe  on  the 
bank.  Then  we 
all  three  broke 
down  and  cried  like 
children  together. 
I  took  his  hand  in 
mine  and  held  it 
in  silence. 

When  we  found 
words  again  I  drew 
a  deep  breath,  and 
said,  simply, "How 
did  you  manage  to 
doit?" 

"  I  tried  to  clam- 
ber past  the  wall 
that  barred  the  way 
there  by  sheer  force 
of  s  t  r  i  d  e — y  o  u 
know,  my  legs  are 
long — and  I  some- 
how overbalanced 
myself.  But  I  did 
n't  exactly  fall — if 
I  had  fallen  I  must 
have  been  killed  ; 
I    rolled    and    slid 

down,  clutching  at  the  weeds  in  the  crannies  as  I  slipped, 


I  ROLLED  AND  SLID  DOWN. 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer  143 

and  stumbling  over  the  projections,  without  quite  losing  my 
foothold  on  the  ledges,  till  I  found  myself  brought  up  short 
with  a  bump  at  the  end  of  it." 

"  And  you  think  no  bones  are  broken  ?  " 

"  I  can't  feel  sure.  It  hurts  me  horribly  to  move.  I 
fancy  just  at  first  I  must  have  fainted.  But  I  'm  inclined  to 
guess  I  'm  only  sprained  and  bruised  and  sore  all  over. 
Why,  you  're  as  bad  as  I,  I  believe.  See,  your  dear  hands 
are  all  torn  and  bleeding  !  " 

"  How  are  we  ever  to  get  him  back  again,  Brownie?  " 
Elsie  put  in.  She  was  paler  than  ever  now,  and  prostrate 
with  the  after-effects  of  her  unwonted  effort. 

**  You  are  a  practical  woman,  Elsie,"  I  answered.  "  Stop 
with  him  here  a  minute  or  two.  I  '11  climb  up  the  hillside 
and  halloo  for  Ursula  and  the  men  from  Lungern." 

I  climbed  and  hallooed.  In  a  few  minutes,  worn  out  as  I 
was,  I  had  reached  the  path  above  and  attracted  their  atten- 
tion. They  hurried  down  to  where  Harold  lay,  and,  using 
my  cage  for  a  litter,  slung  on  a  young  fir-trunk,  carried  him 
back  between  them  across  their  shoulders  to  the  village. 
He  pleaded  hard  to  be  allowed  to  remain  at  the  chdld,  and 
Elsie  joined  her  prayers  to  his  ;  but  there  I  was  adamant. 
It  was  not  so  much  what  people  might  say  that  I  minded, 
but  a  deeper  difficulty.  For  if  once  I  nursed  him  through 
his  trouble,  how  could  I  or  any  woman  in  my  place  any 
longer  refuse  him  ?  So  I  passed  him  ruthlessly  on  to  Lungern 
(though  my  heart  ached  for  it),  and  telegraphed  at  once  to 
his  nearest  relative,  I^ady  Georgina,  to  come  up  and  take 
care  of  him. 

He  recovered  rapidly.  Though  sore  and  shaken,  his 
worst  hurts,  it  turned  out,  were  sprains  ;  and  in  three  or 


144  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

four  clays  he  was  ready  to  go  on  again.  I  called  to  see  him 
before  he  left.  I  dreaded  the  interview  ;  for  one's  own  heart 
is  a  hard  enemy  to  fight  so  long  ;  but  how  could  I  let  him 
go  without  one  word  of  farewell  to  him  ? 

"  After  this,  Lois,"  he  said,  taking  my  hand  in  his — and 
I  was  weak  enough,  for  a  moment,  to  let  it  lie  there — *'  yon 
cannot  say  No  to  me  !  " 

Oh,  how  I  longed  to  fling  myself  upon  him  and  cry  out, 
"  No,  Harold,  I  cannot  !  I  love  you  too  dearly  !  "  But  his 
future  and  Marmaduke  Ashurst's  half-million  restrained  me  ; 
for  his  sake  and  for  my  own  I  held  myself  in  courageously  ; 
though,  indeed,  it  needed  some  courage  and  self-control.  I 
withdrew  my  hand  slowly.  "  Do  you  remember,"  I  said, 
**  you  asked  me  that  first  day  at  Schlangenbad  " — it  was  an 
epoch  to  me,  now,  that  first  day — "  whether  I  was  mediaeval 
or  modern  ?  And  I  answered,  '  Modern,  I  hope.'  And  ,you 
said,  '  That  's  well  ! ' — You  see,  I  don't  forget  the  least 
things  you  say  to  me.  Well,  because  I  am  modern  " —  my 
lips  trembled  and  belied  me — "  I  can  answer  you  No.  I  can 
even  now  refuse  you.  The  old-fashioned  girl,  the  mediaeval 
girl,  would  have  held  that  because  she  saved  your  life  (if  I 
did  save  your  life,  which  is  a  matter  of  opinion)  she  was 
bound  to  marry  you.  But  /  am  modern,  and  I  see  things 
differently.  If  there  were  reasons  at  Schlangenbad  which 
made  it  impracticable  for  me  to  accept  you — though  my 
heart  pleaded  hard — I  do  not  deny  it — those  reasons  can- 
not have  disappeared  merely  because  you  have  chosen  to  fall 
over  a  precipice,  and  I  have  pulled  you  up  again.  My  de- 
cision was  founded,  you  see,  not  on  passing  accidents  of 
situation,  but  on  permanent  considerations.  Nothing  has 
happened  in  the  last  three  days  to  aifect  those  considerations. 


The  Impromptu  Mountaineer         145 

We  are  still  ourselves  ;  you  rich,  I  a  penniless  adventuress. 
I  could  not  accept  jou  when  you  asked  me  at  Schlangenbad. 
On  just  the  same  grounds,  I  cannot  accept  you  now.  I  do 
not  see  how  the  unes.sential  fact  that  I  made  myself  into  a 
winch  to  pull  you  up  the  cliff,  and  that  I  am  .still  smarting 
for  it " 

He  looked  me  all  over  comically.  ' '  How  severe  we  are  ! ' ' 
he  cried,  in  a  bantering  tone.  "  And  how  extremely  Gir- 
tony  !  A  System  of  Logic,  Ratiocinative  and  Inductive,  by 
lyois  Cayley  !  What  a  pity  we  did  n't  take  a  professor's 
chair.  My  child,  that  is  n't  you  !  It  's  not  yourself  at  all  ! 
It  's  an  attempt  to  be  unnaturally  and  unfemininely  reason- 
able." 

Logic  fled.  I  broke  down  utterly.  "  Harold,"  I  cried, 
rising,  "  I  love  you  !  I  admit  I  love  you  !  But  I  will  never 
marry  you — while  you  have  those  thousands." 

"  I  have  n't  got  them  yet  !  " 

"  Or  the  chance  of  inheriting  them." 

He  smothered  my  hand  with  kisses — for  I  withdrew  my 
face.  ' '  If  you  admit  you  love  me, ' '  he  cried,  quite  joyously, 
"  then  all  is  well.  When  once  a  woman  admits  that,  the 
rest  is  but  a  matter  of  time— and,  Lois,  I  can  wait  a  thou- 
sand years  for  you." 

"  Not  in  my  case,"  I  answered  through  my  tears.  "  Not 
in  my  case,  Harold  !  I  am  a  modern  womaij,  and  what  I 
say  I  mean.  I  will  renew  my  promise.  If  ever  you  are 
poor  and  friendless,  come  to  me  ;  I  am  yours.  Till  then, 
don't  harrow  me  by  asking  me  the  impossible  !  " 

I  tore  myself  away.  At  the  hall  door,  Lady  Georgina  in- 
tercepted me.  She  glanced  at  my  red  eyes.  "Then  you 
have  taken  him  ?  "  she  cried,  seizing  my  hand. 


10 


146 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


I  shook  my  head  firmly.  I  could  hardly  speak.  "  No, 
Lady  Georgina,"  I  answered,  in  a  choking  voice.  "  I  have 
refused  him  again.  I  will  not  stand  in  his  way.  I  will  not 
ruin  his  prospects." 

She  drew  back  and  let  her  chin  drop.  "  Well,  of  all  the 
hard-hearted,  cruel,  obdurate  young  women  I  ever  saw  in 
my  born  days,  if  you  're  not  the  very  hardest " 


I   Fl.r.NG    MYSKLF    WILDLY    ON    MY    HE!). 


I  half  ran  from  the  house.  I  hurried  home  to  the  chdhi. 
There,  I  dashed  into  my  own  room,  locked  the  door  behind 
me,  flung  myself  wildly  on  my  bed,  and,  burying  my  face  in 
my  hands,  had  a  good,  long,  hard-hearted,  cruel,  obdurate 
cry — exactly  like  any  mediaeval  woman.  It  's  all  very 
well  being  modern ;  but  my  experience  is  that,  when  it  conies 
to  a  man  one  loves — well,  the  Middle  Ages  are  still  horribly 
strong  within  us. 


CHAPTER  VI. 


THK  ADVENTURE  OF  THE  URBANE  OLD  GENTLEMAN 


WHEN  Elsie's  holidays — I  beg  pardon,  vacation — 
came  to  an  end,  she  proposed  to  return  to  her 
High  School  in  London.  Zeal  for  the  higher 
mathematics  devoured  her.  But  she  still  looked  so  frail, 
and  coughed  so  often — a  perfect  Campo  Santo  of  a  cough — 
in  spite  of  her  summer  of  open-air  exercise,  that  I  positively- 
worried  her  into  consulting  a  doctor — not  one  of  the 
Fortescue-Langley  order.  The  report  he  gave  was  mildly 
unfavourable.  He  spoke  disrespectfully  of  the  apex  of  her 
right  lung.  It  was  not  exactly  tubercular,  he  remarked,  but 
he  "feared  tuberculosis" — excuse  the  long  words;  the 
phrase  was  his,  not  mine  ;  I  repeat  verbatim.  He  vetoed 
her  exposing  herself  to  a  winter  in  London  in  her  present 
unstable  condition.  Davos  ?  Well,  no.  Not  Davos  ;  with 
deliberative  thumb  and  finger  on  close-shaven  chin.  He 
judged  her  too  delicate  for  such  drastic  remedies.  Those 
high  mountain  stations  suited  best  the  robust  invalid,  who 
had  dropped  by  accident  into  casual  phthisis.  For  Miss 
Petheridge's  case — looking  wise — he  would  not  reconnnend 
the  Riviera,  either  ;  too  stimulating,  too  exciting.  What 
this  young  lady  needed  most  was  rest  ;  rest  in  some  agree- 

147 


14^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

able  southern  town,  some  city  of  the  soul — say  Rome  or 
Florence— where  she  might  find  much  to  interest  her,  and 
might  forget  the  apex  of  her  right  lung  in  the  new  world  of 
art  that  opened  around  her. 

"  Very  well,"  I  said  promptly  ;  "  that  's  settled,  Elsie. 
The  apex  and  you  shall  winter  in  Florence." 

"  But,  Brownie,  can  we  afford  it  ?  " 

"  Afford  it  ?  "  I  echoed.  "  Goodness  gracious,  my  dear 
child,  what  a  bourgeois  sentiment  !  Your  medical  attendant 
says  to  you,  '  Go  to  Florence  '  ;  and  to  Florence  you  must 
go  ;  there  's  no  getting  out  of  it.  Wh}',  even  the  swallows 
fly  south  when  their  medical  attendant  tells  them  England 
is  turning  a  trifle  too  cold  for  them." 

"  But  what  will  Miss  Eatimer  say  ?  She  depends  upon 
me  to  come  back  at  the  beginning  of  term.  She  must  have 
somebody  to  undertake  the  higher  mathematics." 

"  And  she  will  get  somebody,  dear,"  I  answered,  calmly. 
"  Don't  trouble  your  sweet  little  head  about  that.  An  emi- 
nent statistician  has  calculated  that  five  hundred  and  thirty 
duly  qualified  young  women  are  now  standing  four-square 
in  a  solid  phalanx  in  the  streets  of  London,  all  agog  to  teach 
the  higher  mathematics  to  anyone  who  wants  them  at  a  mo- 
ment's notice.  Let  Miss  Latimer  take  her  pick  of  the  five 
hundred  and  thirty.  I  '11  wire  to  her  at  once  :  *  Elsie 
Petheridge  unable  through  ill  health  to  resume  her  duties. 
Ordered  to  Florence.  Resigns  post.  Engage  substitute.' 
That ' s  the  way  to  do  it." 

Elsie  clasped  her  small  white  hands  in  the  despair  of  the 
woman  who  considers  herself  indispensable — as  if  we  were 
any  of  us  indispensable !  ' '  But,  dearest,  the  girls !  They  '  11 
be  so  disappointed  !  " 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  149 

"  They  '11  get  over  it,"  I  answered,  grimly.  "  There  are 
worse  disappointments  in  store  for  them  in  life — which  is  a 
fine  old  crusted  platitude  worthy  of  Aunt  Susan.  Anyhow, 
I  've  decided.  Look  here,  Elsie  :  I  stand  to  you  in  loco 
parentis. '"  I  have  already  remarked,  I  think,  that  she  was 
three  years  my  senior  ;  but  I  was  so  pleased  with  this  phrase 
that  I  repeated  it  lovingly.  "  I  stand  to  you,  dear,  in  loco 
parentis.  Now,  I  can't  let  you  endanger  your  precious 
health  by  returning  to  town  and  Miss  Latimer  this  winter. 
Let  us  be  categorical.     I  go  to  Florence  ;  you  go  with  me." 

"  What  shall  we  live  upon  ? "  Elsie  suggested,  piteously. 

"  Our  fellow-creatures,  as  usual,"  I  answered,  with  prompt 
callousness.  "  I  object  to  these  base  utilitarian  considera- 
tions being  imported  into  the  discussion  of  a  serious  ques- 
tion. Florence  is  the  city  of  art  ;  as  a  woman  of  culture,  it 
behoves  you  to  revel  in  it.  Your  medical  attendant  sends 
you  there  ;  as  a  patient  and  an  invalid,  you  can  revel  with  a 
clear  conscience.  Money  ?  Well,  money  is  a  secondary 
matter.  All  philosophies  and  all  religions  agree  that  money 
is  mere  dross,  filthy  lucre.  Rise  superior  to  it.  We  have  a 
fair  sum  in  hand  to  the  credit  of  the  firm  ;  we  can  pick  up 
some  more,  I  suppose,  in  Florence." 

'•  How?" 

I  reflected,  "  Elsie,"  I  said,  "  you  are  deficient  in  faith 
— which  is  one  of  the  leading  Christian  graces.  My  mission 
in  life  is  to  correct  that  want  in  your  spiritual  nature.  Now, 
observe  how  beautifully  all  these  events  work  in  together  ! 
The  winter  comes,  when  no  man  can  bicycle,  especially  in 
Switzerland.  Therefore,  what  is  the  use  of  my  stopping  on 
here  after  October?  Again,  in  pursuance  of  my  general 
plan  of  going  round  the  world,  I  nuist  get  forward  to  Italy. 


i=;o 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures. 


Your  medical  attendant  considerately  orders  j'ou  at  the  same 
lime  to  Florence.  In  Florence  we  shall  still  have  chances 
of  selling  Manitous,  though  possibly,  I  admit,  in  diminished 
numbers.  I  confess  at  once  that  people  come  to  Switzerland 
to  tour,  and  are  therefore  liable  to  need  our  machines  ;  while 
they  go  to  Florence  to  look  at  pictures,  and  a  bicj'cle  would 
doubtless  prove  •  inconvenient  in  the  Uffizi  or  the  Pitti. 
Still,  we  may  sell  a  few.  But  I  descry  another  opening. 
You  write  shorthand,  don't  you  ?  " 

"  A  little,  dear  ;  only  ninety  words  a  minute." 

"  That  's  not  business.  Advertise  yourself,  a  la  Cyrus 
Hitchcock  !  Say  boldly,  '  I  write  shorthand.'  Leave  the 
world  to  ask,  *  How  fast  ?  '  It  will  ask  it  quick  enough 
without  your  suggesting  it.  Well,  my  idea  is  this.  Florence 
is  a  town  teeming  with  English  tourists  of  the  cultivated 
classes — men  of  letters,  painters,  antiquaries,  art-critics.  I 
suppose  even  art-critics  may  be  classed  as  cultivated.  Such 
people  are  sure  to  need  literary  aid.  We  exist  to  supply  it. 
We  will  set  up  the  Florentine  School  of  Stenography  and 
Typewriting.     We  '11  buy  a  couple  of  typewriters." 

"  How  can  we  pay  for  them,  Brownie  ?  " 

I  gazed  at  her  in  despair.  "  Elsie,"  I  cried,  clapping  my 
hand  to  my  head,  "  you  are  not  practical.  Did  I  ever  sug- 
gest we  should  pay  for  them  ?  I  said  merely,  buy  them. 
'  Base  is  the  slave  that  pays.'  That 's  Shakespeare.  And  we 
all  know  Shakespeare  is  the  mirror  of  nature.  Argal,  it 
would  be  unnatural  to  pay  for  a  typewriter.  We  will  hire  a 
room  in  Florence  (on  tick,  of  course),  and  begin  operations. 
Clients  will  flock  in  ;  and  we  tide  over  the  winter.  There  ' s 
enterprise  for  you  !  "     And  I  struck  an  attitude. 

Elsie's  face  looked  her  doubts.     I  walked  across  to  Mrs. 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman 


151 


Evelegh's  desk,  and  began  writing  a  letter.  It  occurred  to 
me  that  Mr.  Hitchcock,  who  was  a  man  of  business,  might 
be  able  to  help  a  woman  of  business  in  this  delicate  matter. 
I  put  the  point  to  him  fairly  and  squarely,  without  circum- 
locution ;  we  were  going  to  start  an  English  typewrititig 
office  in  Florence  ;  what  was  the  ordinary  way  for  people  to 
become  possessed  of  a  typewriting  machine,  without  the 
odious  and  mercenary  preliminary  of  paying  for  it  ? 


"there's  enterprise  for  you  !" 


The  answer  came  back  with  commendable  promptitude: 

"  Dear  Miss, — Your  spirit  of  enterprise  is  really  remarkable  !  I 
have  forwarded  your  letter  to  my  friends  of  the  Spread  Eagle  Type- 
writing and  Phonograph  Company,  Limited,  of  New  York  City,  in- 
forming them  of  your  desire  to  open  an  agency  for  the  sale  of  their 
machines  in  Florence,  Italy,  and  giving  them  my  estimate  of  your 
business  capacities.    I  have  advised  their  London  bouse  to  present 


152  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

you  with  two  complinientary  machines  for  your  own  use  and  your 
partner's,  and  also  to  supply  a  number  of  others  for  disposal  in  the 
city  of  Florence.  If  you  would  further  like  to  undertake  an  agency 
for  the  development  of  the  trade  in  salt  codfish  (large  quantities  of 
which  are,  of  course,  consumed  in  Catholic  Europe),  I  could  put  you 
into  communication  with  my  respected  friends,  Messrs.  Abel  Wood- 
ward &  Co.,  exporters  of  preserved  provisions,  St.  John's,  New- 
foundland. But,  perhaps,  iu  this  suggestion  I  am  not  suflSciently 
high-toned. 

"  Respectfully, 

"Cyrus  W.  Hitchcock." 

The  moment  had  arrived  for  Elsie  to  be  firm.  "  I  have 
no  prejudice  against  trade,  Brownie,"  she  observed  emphati- 
cally, "  but  I  do  draw  the  line  at  salt  fish." 

"  So  do  I,  dear,"  I  answered. 

She  sighed  her  relief.  I  really  believ^e  she  half  expected 
to  find  me  trotting  about  Florence  with  miscellaneous  sam- 
ples of  Messrs.  Abel  Woodward's  esteemed  productions  pro- 
truding from  my  pocket. 

So  to  Florence  we  went.  My  first  idea  was  to  travel  by 
the  Brenner  route  through  the  Tyrol  ;  but  a  queer  little 
episode  which  met  us  at  the  outset  on  the  Austrian  frontier 
put  a  check  to  this  plan.  We  cycled  to  the  border,  sending 
our  trunks  by  rail.  When  we  went  to  claim  them  at  the 
Austrian  Custom-house,  we  were  told  that  they  were  de- 
tained "  for  political  reasons." 

"  Political  reasons?  "  I  exclaimed,  nonplussed. 

"  Even  so,  Fraulein.  Your  boxes  contain  revolutionary 
literature." 

"  Some  mistake  !  "  [  cried,  warmly.  I  am  but  a  drawing- 
room  Socialist. 

"  Not  at  all  ;  look  here."  And  he  drew  a  .small  book  out 
of  Elsie's  portmanteau. 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  153 

What  ?  Elsie  a  conspirator  ?  Elsie  in  league  with  Nihi- 
lists ?  So  mild  and  so  meek  !  I  could  never  have  believed 
it.  I  took  the  book  in  my  hands  and  read  the  title,  ' '  Revo- 
lution of  the  Heavenly  Bodies." 

*'  But  this  is  astronomy,"  I  burst  out.  "  Don't  you  see  ? 
Sun-and-star  circling.     The  revolution  of  the  planets." 

"  It  matters  not,  Fraulein.  Our  instructions  are  strict. 
We  have  orders  to  intercept  «// revolutionary  literature  with- 
out distinction." 

"  Come,  Elsie,"  I  said,  firmly,  "  this  is  too  ridiculous. 
Let  us  give  them  a  clear  berth,  the.se  Kaiserly- Kingly  block- 
heads !  "  So  we  registered  our  luggage  right  back  to  Lu- 
cerne, and  cycled  over  the  Gothard. 

When  at  last,  by  leisurely  stages,  we  arrived  at  Florence, 
I  felt  there  was  no  use  in  doing  things  bj'  halves.  If  you 
are  going  to  start  the  Florentine  School  of  Stenography  and 
Typewriting,  you  may  as  well  start  it  on  a  proper  basis.  So 
I  took  sunny  rooms  at  a  nice  hotel  for  myself  and  Elsie,  and 
hired  a  ground  floor  in  a  convenient  house,  close  under  the 
shadow  of  the  great  marble  Campanile.  (Con.siderations  of 
space  compel  me  to  curtail  the  usual  gush  about  Arnolfo  and 
Giotto.)  This  was  our  office.  When  I  had  got  a  Tuscan 
painter  to  plant  our  flag  in  the  shape  of  a  sign-board,  I  sallied 
forth  into  the  street  and  inspected  it  from  outside  with  a 
swelling  heart.  It  is  true,  the  Tuscan  painter's  unaccount- 
able predilection  for  the  rare  spellings  "  Scool  "  without  an 
/^,  and  "  Stenografy  "  with  ari /",  somewhat  dampened  my 
exuberant  pride  for  the  moment  ;  but  I  made  him  take  the 
board  back  and  correct  his  Italianate  English.  As  .soon  as 
all  was  fitted  up  with  desk  and  tables  we  reposed  upon  our 
laurels,  and  waited  only  for  customers  in  shoals  to  pour  in 


154 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


upon  us,  /called  them  "customers"  ;  Elsie  maintained 
that  we  ought  rather  to  say  "  clients."  Being  by  tempera- 
ment averse  to  sectarianism,  I  did  not  dispute  the  point  with 
her. 


PAINTING  THE   SIGN-BOARD. 

We  reposed  on  our  laurels — in  vain.  Neither  cnstomers 
nor  clients  seemed  in  any  particular  hurry  to  disturb  our 
leisure. 

I  confess  I  took  this  ill.  It  was  a  rude  awakening.  I  had 
begun  to  regard  myself  as  the  special  favourite  of  a  fairy 
godmother  ;  it  surprised  me  to  find  that  any  undertaking 
of  mine  did  not  succeed  immediately.  However,  reflecting 
that  my  fairy  godmother's  name  was  really  Enterprise,  I  re- 
called Mr.  Cyrus  W.  Hitchcock's  advice,  and  advertised. 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  155 

"  There  's  one  j^ood  thing  about  Florence,  Elsie,"  I  said, 
just  to  keep  up  her  courage.  ' '  When  the  customers  do  come, 
they  '11  be  interesting  people,  and  it  will  be  interesting  work. 
Artistic  work,  don't  you  know — Fra  Angelico,  and  Delia 
Robbia,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing  ;  or  else  fresh  light  on 
Dante  and  Petrarch  !  " 

"  When  they  do  come,  no  doubt,"  Elsie  answered,  du- 
biously. "  But  do  you  know,  Brownie,  it  strikes  me  there 
is  n't  quite  that  literary  stir  and  ferment  one  might  expect  in 
Florence.  Dante  and  Petrarch  appear  to  be  dead.  The  dis- 
tinguished authors  fail  to  stream  in  upon  us  as  one  imagined 
with  manuscripts  to  copy." 

I  affected  an  air  of  confidence — for  I  had  sunk  capital  in 
the  concern  (that  's  business-like — sunk  capital  !).  "  Oh, 
we  're  a  new  firm,"  I  assented,  carelessly.  "  Our  enterprise 
is  yet  young.  When  cultivated  Florence  learns  we  're  here, 
cultivated  Florence  will  invade  us  by  thousands." 

But  we  sat  in  our  office  and  bit  our  thumbs  all  day  ;  the 
thousands  stopped  at  home.  We  had  ample  opportunities 
for  making  studies  of  fehe  decorative  detail  on  the  Campanile, 
till  we  knew  every  square  inch  of  it  better  than  Mr.  Ruskin. 
Elsie's  note-book  contains,  I  believe,  eleven  hundred  separate 
sketches  of  the  Campanile,  from  the  right  end,  the  left  end, 
and  the  middle  of  our  window,  with  eight  hundred  and  five 
distinct  distortions  of  the  individual  statues  that  adorn  its 
niches  on  the  side  turned  towards  us. 

At  last,  after  we  had  sat,  and  bitten  our  thumbs,  and 
sketched  the  Four  Greater  Prophets  for  a  fortnight  on  end, 
an  innnense  excitement  occurred.  An  old  gentleman  was 
distinctly  seen  to  approach  and  to  look  up  at  the  sign-board 
which  decorated  our  office.     I  instantly  slipped  in  a  sheet  of 


156 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


foolscap,  and  began  to  typewrite  with  alarming  speed — click, 
click,  click  ;  while  Elsie,  rising  to  the  occasion,  set  to  work 
to  transcribe,  imaginarj'  shorthand  as  if  her  life  depended 
upon  it. 

The  old  gentleman,  after  a  moment's  hesitation,  lifted  the 

latch  of  the  door  somewhat 
nervously.  I  affected  to  take 
no  notice  of  him,  so  breath- 
less was  the  haste  with  which 
our  immense  business  connec- 
tion compelled  me  to  finger  the 
keyboard  ;  but,  looking  up  at 
him  under  my  eyehishes,  I 
could  just  make  out  he  was  a 
peculiarly  bland  and  urbane 
old  person,  dressed  with  the 
greatest  care,  and  some  atten- 
tion to  fashion.  His  face  was 
l^j^  smooth  ;  it  tended  towards 
portliness. 

He  made  up  his  mind,  and 
entered  the  office.  I  continued 
to  click  till  I  had  reached  the 
close  of  a  sentence — "  Or  to 
take  arms  against  a  sea  of  troubles,  and  by  opposing,  end 
them."  Then  I  looke-^  up  sharply.  "Can  I  do  anything 
for  you  ?  "  I  enquired,  in  the  smartest  tone  of  business.  (I 
observe  that  politeness  is  not  professional.) 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  came  forward  with  his  hat  in 
his  hand.  He  looked  as  if  he  had  just  landed  from  the 
eighteenth  century.     His  figure  was  that  of  Mr.  Edward 


.:^ 


THE  URBANE   OLD   GENTLEMAN. 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  157 

Gibbon.  "  Yes,  madam,"  he  said,  in  a  markedly  deferential 
tone,  fussing  about  with  the  rim  of  his  hat  as  he  spoke,  and 
adjusting  his  pincc-ncz.  "  I  was  recommended  to  your — ur 
— your  establishment  for  shorthand  and  typewriting.  I 
have  some  work  which  I  wish  done,  if  it  falls  within  your 
province.  But  I  am  rather  particular.  I  require  a  quick 
worker.  Excuse  my  asking  it,  but  how  many  words  can 
you  do  a  minute  ?  " 

"  Shorthand  ?  "  I  asked,  sharply,  for  I  wished  to  imitate 
official  habits. 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  bowed.  "  Yes,  shortha^nd- 
Certainly." 

I  waved  ni}^  hand  with  careless  grace  towards  Elsie — as  if 
these  things  happened  to  us  daily.  ' '  Miss  Petheridge  under- 
takes the  shorthand  department,"  I  said,  with  decision.  "  I 
am  the  typewriting  from  dictation.  Miss  Petheridge,  for- 
ward !  " 

Elsie  rose  to  it  like  an  angel.  "  A  hundred,"  she  an- 
swered, confronting  him. 

The  old  gentleman  bowed  again.  "  And  your  terms?  " 
he  enquired,  in  a  honey-tongued  voice.  "  If  I  may  venture 
to  ask  them." 

We  handed  him  our  printed  tariff.  He  seemed  satisfied. 
*'  Could  you  spare  me  an  hour  this  morning?  "  he  asked, 
still  fingering  his  hat  nervously  with  his  puffy  hand.  "  But 
perhaps  you  are  engaged.     I  fear  I  intrude  upon  you." 

"  Not  at  all,"  I  answered,  consulting  an  imaginary  en- 
gagement list.  "  This  work  can  wait.  I^et  me  see  :  11.30. 
Elsie,  I  think  you  have  nothing  to  do  l)efore  one,  that  can- 
not be  put  off?  Quite  so — very  well,  then  ;  yes,  we  are  both 
at  your  service." 


T5<^  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  looked  about  him  for  a  seat. 
I  pushed  him  our  one  easy-chair.  He  withdrew  his  gloves 
with  great  deliberation,  and  sat  down  in  it  with  an  apologetic 
glance.  I  could  gather  from  his  dress  and  his  diamond  pin 
that  he  was  wealthy.  Indeed,  I  half  guessed  who  he  was 
already.  There  was  a  fussiness  about  his  manner  which 
seemed  strangely  familiar  to  me. 

He  sat  down  by  slow  degrees,  edging  himself  about  till  he 
was  thoroughly  comfortable.  I  could  see  he  was  of  the  kind 
that  will  have  comfort.  He  took  out  his  notes  and  a  packet 
of  letters,  which  he  sorted  slowly.  Then  he  looked  hard  at 
me  and  at  Elsie.  He  seemed  to  be  making  his  choice  be- 
tween us.  After  a  time  he  spoke.  "  I  think,''''  he  said,  in  a 
most  leisurely  voice,  "  I  will  not  trouble  your  friend  to  write 
shorthand  for  me,  after  all.  Or  .should  I  say  your  assistant  ? 
Excuse  my  change  of  plan.  I  will  content  myself  with  dic- 
tation.    You  can  follow  on  the  machine  ?  ' ' 

"  As  fast  as  you  choose  to  dictate  to  me." 

He  glanced  at  his  notes  and  began  a  letter.  It  was  a 
curious  communication.  It  seemed  to  be  all  about  buying 
Bertha  and  selling  Clara — a  cold-blooded  proceeding  which 
almost  suggested  slave-dealing.  I  gathered  he  was  giving 
instructions  to  his  agent  :  could  he  have  business  rela- 
tions with  Cuba?  I  wondered.  But  there  were  also  hints 
of  mysterious  middies — brave  British  tars  to  the  re.s- 
cue,  possibly  !  Perhaps  my  bewilderment  showed  itself 
upon  my  face,  for  at  last  he  looked  queerly  at  me.  "  You 
don't  quite  like  this,  I  'm  afraid,"  he  said,  breaking  off 
short. 

I  was  the  soul  of  business.  "  Not  at  all,"  I  answered.  "  I 
am  an  automaton — nothing  more.     It  is  a  typewriter's  func- 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  159 

tion  to  transcribe  the  words  a  client  dictates  as  if  tliey  were 
absolutely  meaningless  to  her." 

*'  Quite  right,"  he  answered,  approvingly.  "  Quite  right. 
I  see  you  understand.     A  very  proper  spirit  !  " 

Then  the  Woman  within  me  got  the  better  of  the  Type- 
writer. "  Though  I  confess,"  I  continued,  "  1  do  feel  i\  is  a 
little  unkind  to  sell  Clara  at  once  for  whatever  she  will  fetch. 
It  seems  to  me — well — unchivalrous." 

He  smiled,  but  held  his  peace. 

"  Still — the  middies,"  I  went  on  ;  "  they  will  perhaps 
take  care  that  these  poor  girls  are  not  ill-treated." 

He  leaned  back,  clasped  his  hands,  and  regarded  me 
fixedly.  "  Bertha,"  he  said,  after  a  pause,  "  is  Brighton 
A's — to  be  strictly  correct,  London,  Brighton,  and  South 
Coast  First  Preference  Debentures.  Clara  is  Glasgow  and 
South-Western  Deferred  Stock.  Middies  are  Midland  Ordi- 
nary. But  I  respect  your  feeling.  You  are  a  young  lady 
of  principle."     And  he  fidgeted  more  than  ever. 

He  went  on  dictating  for  just  an  hour.  His  subject- 
matter  bewildered  me.  It  was  all  about  India  Bills,  and 
telegraphic  transfers,  and  selling  cotton  short,  and  holding 
tight  to  Egyptian  Unified.  Markets,  it  seemed,  were 
glutted.  Hungarians  were  only  to  be  dealt  in  if  they 
hardened — hardened  sinners  I  know,  but  what  are  hardened 
Hungarians  ?  And  fears  were  not  unnaturally  expressed 
that  Turks  might  be"  irregular."  Consols,  it  appeared,  were 
certain  to  give  way  for  political  reasons  ;  but  the  downward 
tendency  of  Australians,  I  was  relieved  to  learn,  for  the 
honour  of  so  great  a  group  of  colonies,  could  only  be  tempo- 
rar5^  Greeks  were  growing  decidedly  worse,  though  I  had 
alvvavs  understood  Greeks  were  bad  enough  already  ;  and 


i6o 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


Argentine  Central  were  likely  to  l)e  weak  ;  but  Provincials 
must  soon  become  commendably  firm,  and  if  Uruguays  went 
flat,  something  good  ought  to  be  made  out  of  them.  Scotch 
rails  might  shortly  be  quiet — I  always  understood  they  were 
based  upon  sleepers  ;  but  if  South-Eastern  stiffened,  advan- 


HE   WKNT   ON   DICTATING   FOK    JUST   AN    HOUR. 

tage  should  certainly  be  taken  of  their  vStiffening.  He  would 
telegraph  particulars  on  Monday  morning.  And  so  on  till 
my  brain  reeled.  Oh,  artistic  Florence!  was  this  the  Filippo 
Lippi,  the  Michael  Angelo  I  dreamed  of? 

At  the  end  of  the  hour,  the  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  ro.se 
urbanely.  He  drew  on  his  gloves  again  with  the  greatest 
deliberation,  and  hunted  for  his  stick  as  if  his  life  depended 
upon  it.  "  Let  me  see  ;  I  had  a  pencil  ;  oh,  thanks  ;  yes, 
that  is  it.  This  cover  protects  the  point.  My  hat  ?  Ah, 
certainly.  And  my  notes  ;  much  obliged  ;  notes  always  get 
mislaid.     People  are  so  careless.     Then  I  will  come  again  to- 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  i6i 

morrow  ;  the  same  hour,  if  you  will  kindl)'  keep  yourself 
disengaged.  Though,  excuse  me,  you  had  better  make  an 
entry  of  it  at  once  upon  your  agenda." 

"  I  shall  remember  it,*'  I  answered,  smiling. 

"  No  ;  will  you  ?     But  you  have  n't  my  name." 

*'  I  know  it,"  I  answered.  "  At  least,  I  think  so.  You 
are  Mr,  Marmaduke  Ashurst.  Lady  Georgina  Fawley  sent 
you  here. ' ' 

He  laid  down  his  hat  and  gloves  again,  so  as  to  regard  me 
more  undistracted.  "  You  are  a  most  remarkable  young 
lady,"  he  said,  in  a  very  slow  voice.  "  I  impressed  upon 
Georgina  that  she  must  not  mention  to  you  that  I  was  com- 
ing.    How  on  earth  did  you  recognise  me  ?  " 

"  Intuition,  most  likely." 

He  stared  at  me  with  a  sort  of  suspicion.  "  Please  don't 
tell  me  that  you  think  me  like  my  sister,"  he  went  on. 
**  For  though,  of  course,  every  right-minded  man  feels — ur — 
a  natural  respect  and  affection  for  the  members  of  his  family 
— bows,  if  I  may  so  say,  to  the  inscrutable  decrees  of  Provi- 
dence— which  has  mysteriously  burdened  him  with  them — 
still,  there  are  points  about  Lady  Georgina  which  I  cannot 
con.scientiously  assert  I  approve  of." 

I  remembered  "  Marmy  's  a  fool,"  and  held  my  tongue 
judiciously. 

"  I  do  not  resemble  her,  I  hope,"  he  persisted,  with  a  look 
which  I  could  almost  describe  as  wistful. 

"  A  family  likeness,  perhaps,"  I  put  in.  "  Family  like- 
nesses exist,  you  know — often  with  complete  divergence  of 
tastes  and  character." 

He  looked  relieved.     "  That  is  true.     Oh,  how  true  !     But 

the  likeness  in  my  case,  I  must  admit,  escapes  me." 
II 

f 


1 62  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

I  temporised.  "  Strangers  see  these  things  most,"  I  said, 
airing  the  stock  platitudes.  "  It  may  be  superficial.  And, 
of  course,  one  knows  that  profound  differences  of  intellect 
and  moral  feeling  often  occur  within  the  limits  of  a  single 
family." 

"  You  are  quite  right,"  he  said,  with  decision.  "  Geor- 
gina's  principles  are  not  mine.  Excuse  my  remarking  it, 
but  j'ou  seem  to  be  a  young  lady  of  unusual  penetration." 

I  saw  he  took  my  remark  as  a  compliment.  What  T  really 
meant  to  say  was  that  a  connnoiiplace  man  might  easily  be 
the  brother  to  so  clever  a  woman  as  Lady  Georgina. 

He  gathered  up  his  hat,  his  stick,  his  gloves,  his  notes, 
and  his  typewritten  letters,  one  by  one,  and  backed  out 
politely.  He  was  a  punctilious  millionaire.  He  had  risen 
by  urbanity  to  his  brother  directors,  like  a  model  guinea- 
pig.  He  bowed  to  us  each  separately  as  if  we  had  been 
duchesses. 

As  soon  as  he  was  gone,  Elsie  turned  to  me.  "  Brownie, 
how  on  earth  did  3'ou  guess  it?  They  're  so  awfully 
different!" 

"  Not  at  all,"  I  an.swered.  "  A  few  surface  unlikenesses 
only  just  mask  an  underlying  identity.  Their  features  are 
the  same  ;  but  his  are  plump  ;  hers,  shrunken.  Lad}' 
Georgina's  expression  is  sharp  and  worldly  ;  Mr.  Ashurst's 
is  smooth,  and  bland,  and  financial.  And  then  their  man- 
ner !  Both  are  fussy  ;  but  Lady  Georgina's  is  honest,  open, 
ill-tempered  fussiness  ;  Mr.  Ashurst's  is  concealed  under  an 
artificial  mask  of  obsequious  politeness.  One  's  cantanker- 
ous ;  the  other  's  only  pernicketty.  It 's  one  tune,  after  all, 
in  two  different  key.s." 

From  that  day  forth,  the  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  was  a 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman 


i6 


daily  visitor.  He  took  an  hour  at  a  time  at  first  ;  but  after 
a  few  days,  the  hour  lengthened  out  (apologetically)  to  an 
entire  morning.  He  "presumed  to  ask"  my  Christian 
name  the  second  day,  and  remembered  my  father — "  a  man 


HE   BOWED   TO  US   EACH   SEPARATELY, 


of  excellent  principles."  But  he  did  n't  care  for  Klsie  to 
work  for  him.  Fortunately  for  her,  other  work  dropped  in, 
once  we  had  found  a  client,  or  else,  poor  girl,  she  would 
have  felt  sadly  slighted.  I  was  glad  she  had  something  to 
do  ;  the  sense  of  dependence  weighed  heavily  upon  her. 


164  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  did  not  confine  himself  en- 
tirely, after  the  first  few  days,  to  Stock  Exchange  literature. 
He  was  engaged  on  a  Work — he  spoke  of  it  always  with 
bated  breath,  and  a  capital  letter  was  implied  in  his  intona- 
tion ;  the  Work  was  one  on  the  Interpretation  of  Prophec}-. 
Unlike  Lady  Georgina,  who  was  tart  and  crisp,  Mr.  Marma- 
duke  Ashurst  was  devout  and  decorous  ;  where  she  said 
"  pack  of  fools,"  he  talked  with  unction  of  "  the  mental  de- 
ficiencies of  our  poorer  brethren."  But  his  religious  opin- 
ions and  his  stockbroking  had  got  strangely  mixed  up  at  the 
wash  somehow.  He  was  convinced  that  the  British  nation 
represented  the  lyost  Ten  Tribes  of  Israel — and  in  particular 
Kphraim — a  matter  on  which,  as  a  mere  lay-woman,  I  would 
not  presume  either  to  agree  with  him  or  to  differ  from  him. 
"  That  being  so,  Miss  Cayley,  we  can  easily  understand  that 
the  existing  commercial  prosperity  of  England  depends  upon 
the  promises  made  to  Abraham." 

1  assented,  without  committing  myself:  "  It  would  seem 
to  follow." 

Mr.  Ashurst,  encouraged  by  so  much  assent,  went  on  to 
unfold  his  System  of  Interpretation,  which  was  of  a  strictly 
connnercial  or  company-promoting  character.  It  ran  like  a 
prospectus.  "  We  have  inherited  the  gold  of  Australia  and 
the  diimonds  of  the  Cape,"  he  said,  growing  didactic,  and 
lifting  one  fat  forefinger  ;  "  w^e  are  now  inheriting  Klondike 
and  the  Rand,  for  it  is  morally  certain  that  we  shall  annex 
the  Transvaal,  Again,  '  the  chief  things  of  the  ancient 
mountains,  and  the  precious  things  of  the  everlasting  hills.' 
What  does  that  mean  ?  The  ancient  mountains  are  clearly 
the  Rockies  ;  can  the  everlasting  hills  be  anything  but  the 
Himalayas  ?     '  For  they  shall  suck  of  the  abundance  of  the 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  165 

seas ' — that  refers,  of  course,  to  our  world-wide  commerce, 
due  mainly  to  imports — *  and  of  the  treasures  hid  in  the 
sund.'  Which  sand  ?  Undoubtedly,  I  say,  the  desert  of 
Mount  Sinai.     What  then  is  our  obvious  destiny  ?     A  lady 

of  your  intelligence  must  gather  at  once  that  it  is ?" 

He  paused  and  gazed  at  me. 

"  To  drive  the  Sultan  out  of  Syria,"  I  suggested  tenta- 
tively, "  and  to  annex  Palestine  to  our  practical  province  of 
Egypt?" 

He  leaned  back  in  his  chair  and  folded  his  fat  hands  in 
undisguised  satisfaction,  "  Now,  you  are  a  thinker  of  ex- 
ceptional penetration,"  he  broke  out.  *'  Do  you  know,  Miss 
Cayley,  I  have  tried  to  make  that  point  clear  to  the  War 
Office,  and  the  Prime  Minister,  and  many  leading  financiers 
in  the  Cit}'  of  London,  and  I  caji't  get  them  to  see  it.  They 
have  no  heads,  those  people.  But  jj'^?<  catch  at  it  at  a  glance. 
Why,  I  endeavoured  to  interest  Rothschild  and  induce  him 
to  join  me  in  my  Palestine  Development  Syndicate,  and,  will 
you  believe  it,  the  man  refused  point  blank,  Though  if  he 
had  only  looked  at  Nahum  iii.  17 " 

"  Mere  financiers,"  I  said,  smiling,  "  will  not  consider 
these  questions  from  a  historical  and  prophetic  point  of  view. 
They  see  nothing  above  percentages." 

"  That  's  it,"  he  replied,  lighting  up.  "  They  have  no 
higher  feelings.  Though,  mind  you,  there  will  be  dividends 
too  ;  mark  my  words,  there  will  be  dividends.  This  syndi- 
cate, besides  fulfilling  tii?  prophecies,  will  pay  forty  per 
cent,  on  every  pemiy  embarked  in  it." 

"  Only  forty  per  cent,  for  Ephraim  !  "  I  murmured,  half 
below  my  breath.  "  Why,  Judah  is  said  to  batten  upon 
.sixty." 


1 66  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

He  caught  at  it  eagerl}-,  without  perceiving  my  gentle 
sarcasm, 

"  In  that  case,  we  might  even  expect  sevent}',"  he  put  in 
with  a  gasp  of  anticipation.  "  Though  I  approached  Roths- 
child first  with  my  scheme  on  purpose,  so  that  Israel  and 
Judaii  might  once  more  unite  in  sharing  the  promises." 

"  Your  combined  generosity  and  connnercial  instinct  does 
you  credit,"  I  answered.  "It  is  rare  to  find  so  much  love 
for  an  abstract  study  side  by  side  with  such  conspicuous 
financial  abilit}-." 

His  guilelessness  was  beyond  words.  He  swallowed  it 
like  an  infant.  "  So  I  think,"  he  answered.  "  I  am  glad 
to  observe  that  you  understand  my  character.  Mere  City 
men  don't.  They  have  no  souls  above  shekels.  Though, 
as  I  show  them,  there  are  shekels  in  it,  too.  Dividends, 
dividends,  di-vidends.  Ihxt  j'o?t  are  a  lady  of  understanding 
and  comprehension.  You  have  been  to  Girton,  have  n't  you  ? 
Perhaps  you  read  Greek,  then  ?  " 

"  Enough  to  get  on  with." 

"  Could  you  look  up  things  in  Herodotus  ?  " 

"  Certainly." 

"  In  the  original  ?  " 

"  Oh,  dear,  yes." 

He  regarded  me  once  more  with  the  same  astonished 
glance.  His  own  classics,  I  soon  learnt,  were  limited  to  the 
amount  which  a  public  school  succeeds  in  dinning,  during 
the  intervals  of  cricket  and  football,  into  an  English  gentle- 
man. Then  he  informed  me  that  he  wished  me  to  hunt  up 
certain  facts  in  Herodotus  "  and  elsewhere  "  confirmatory  of 
his  view  that  the  English  were  the  descendants  of  the  Ten 
Tribes.     I  promised  to  do  so,  swallowing  even  that  com- 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  167 

prehensive  "  elsewhere."  It  was  none  of  my  bnsiness  to 
believe  or  disbelieve  ;  I  was  paid  to  get  up  a  case,  and  I  got 
one  up  to  the  best  of  my  ability.  I  imagine  it  was  at  least 
as  good  as  most  other  cases  in  similar  matters  ;  at  any  rate, 
it  pleased  the  old  gentleman  vastly. 

By  dint  of  listening,  I  began  to  like  him.  But  Elsie 
could  n't  bear  him.  She  hated  the  fat  crease  at  the  back  of 
his  neck,  she  told  me. 

After  a  week  or  two  devoted  to  the  Interpretation  of  Proph- 
ecy on  a  strictly  conunercial  basis  of  Founders'  Shares,  with 
interludes  of  mining  engineers'  reports  upon  the  rubies  of 
Mount  Sinai  and  the  supposed  auriferous  quartzites  of  Pales- 
tine, the  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  trotted  down  to  the  office  one 
day,  carrying  a  packet  of  notes  of  most  voluminous  magnitude. 
"  Can  we  work  in  a  room  alone  this  morning.  Miss  Cayley  ?  " 
he  asked,  with  mystery  in  his  voice  ;  he  was  always  mysteri- 
ous. "  I  want  to  intrust  you  with  a  piece  of  work  of  an  ex- 
ceptionally private  and  confidential  character.  It  concerns 
Property.  In  point  of  fact,"  he  dropped  his  voice  to  a 
whisper,  "  I  want  you  to  draw  up  my  will  for  me." 

"  Certainly,"  I  said,  opening  the  door  into  the  back  office. 
But  I  trembled  in  my  shoes.  Could  this  mean  that  he  was 
going  to  draw  up  a  will,  disinheriting  Harold  Tillington  ? 

And  suppose  he  did,  what  then  ?  My  heart  was  in  a  tumult. 
If  Harold  were  rich — well  and  good,  I  could  never  marry  him. 
But,  if  Harold  were  poor — I  must  keep  my  promise.  Could 
I  wish  him  to  be  rich  ?  Could  I  wish  him  to  be  poor  ?  My 
heart  stood  divided  two  ways  within  me. 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  began  with  immense  delibera- 
tion, as  befits  a  man  of  principle  when  Property  is  at  stake. 
"  You  will  kindly  take  down  notes  from  my  dictation,"  he 


1 68  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

said,  fussing  with  bis  papers  ;  "  and  afterwards  I  will  ask 
you  to  be  so  good  as  to  copy  it  all  out  fair  on  your  typewriter 
for  signature." 

"  Is  a  typewritten  form  legal  ?  "  I  ventured  to  enquire. 

**  A  most  perspicacious  young  lady  !  "  he  interjected,  well 
pleased.  "  I  have  investigated  that  point,  and  find  it  per- 
fectly regular.  Only,  if  I  may  venture  to  say  so,  there 
should  be  no  erasures. ' ' 

"  There  .shall  be  none,"  I  answered. 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  leant  back  in  his  easy-chair, 
and  began  dictating  from  his  notes  with  tantalising  deliber- 
ateness.     This  was  the   last   will   and   testament   of  him, 
Marmaduke  Courtney  Ashurst.     Its  verbiage  wearied  me. 
I  was  eager  for  him  to  come  to  the  point  about  Harold.     In- 
stead of  that,  he  did  what  it  seems  is  usual  in  such  cases — set 
out  with  a  number  of  unimportant  legacies  to  old  family 
servants  and  other  hangers-on  among  "  our  poorer  brethren." 
I  fumed  and  fretted  inwardly.     Next  came  a  series  of  quaint 
bequests  of  a  quite  novel  character.     "  I  give  and  bequeath 
to  James  Walsh  and  Sons,  of  720  High  Holborn,  London, 
the  sum  of  Five  Hundred  Pounds,  in  consideration  of  the 
benefit  they  have  conferred  upon  humanity  by  the  invention 
of  a  sugar-spoon  or  silver  sugar-sifter,  by  means  of  which  it 
is  possible  to  dust  sugar  upon  a  tart  or  pudding  without  let- 
ting the  whole  or  the  greater  part  of  the  material  run  through 
the  apertures  uselessly  in  transit.     You  must  have  observed, 
Miss  Cayley — with  your  usual  perspicacity — that  most  sugar- 
sifters  allow  the  sugar  to  fall  through  them  on  to  the  table 
prematurely. ' ' 

"  I  have  noticed  it,"  I  answered,  trembling  with  anxiety. 
"  James  Walsh  and  Sons,  acting  on  a  hint  from  me,  have 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  169 

succeeded  in  inventing  a  form  of  spoon  which  does  not  pos- 
sess that  regrettable  drawback.  '  Run  through  the  apertures 
uselessly  in  transit,'  I  think  I  said  last.  Yes,  thank  you. 
Very  good.  We  will  now  continue.  And  I  give  and  be- 
quealh  the  like  sum  of  Five  Hundred  Pounds — did  I  say, 
free  of  legacy  duty  ?  No  ?  Then  please  add  it  to  James 
Walsh's  clause.  Five  Hi-ndred  Pounds,  free  of  legacy  duty, 
to  Thomas  Webster  Jones,  of  Wheeler  Street,  Soho,  for  his 
admirable  invention  of  a  pair  of  braces  which  will  not  slip 
down  on  the  wearer's  shoulders  after  half  an  hour's  use. 

Most  braces,  you  must  have  observed.  Miss  Cay  ley " 

"  My  acquaintance  with  braces  is  limited,  not  to  say  ab- 
stract," I  interposed,  smiling. 

He  gazed  at  me,  and  twirled  his  fat  thumbs. 
'*  Of  course,"  he  murmured.  "  Of  course.  But  most 
braces,  you  may  not  be  aware,  slip  down  unpleasantly  on  the 
shoulder-blade,  and  so  lead  to  an  awkward  habit  of  hitching 
them  up  by  the  sleeve-hole  of  the  waistcoat  at  frequent  inter- 
vals. Such  a  habit  must  be  felt  to  be  ungraceful.  Thomas 
Webster  Jones,  to  whom  I  pointed  out  this  error  of  manu- 
facture, has  invented  a  brace  the  two  halves  of  which  diverge 
at  a  higher  angle  than  usual,  and  fasten  further  towards  the 
centre  of  the  body  in  front — pardon  these  details — so  as  to 
obviate  that  difficulty.  He  has  given  me  satisfaction,  and 
he  deserves  to  be  rewarded." 

I  heard  through  it  all  the  voice  of  Lady  Georgina  observ- 
ing, tartly,  "  Why  the  idiots  can't  make  braces  to  fit  one  at 
first  passes  my  comprehension.  But,  there,  my  dear  ;  the 
people  who  manufacture  them  are  a  set  of  born  fools,  and 
what  can  you  expect  from  an  imbecile  ?  "  Mr.  Ashurst  was 
Lady  Georgina,  veneered  with  a  thin  layer  of  ingratiating 


I/O  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

urbanity.  Lady  Gcorgina  was  clever,  and  therefore  acri- 
monious.    Mr.  Ashurst  was  astute,  and  therefore  obsequious. 

He  went  on  with  legacies  to  the  inventor  of  a  sauce-bottle 
which  did  not  let  the  last  drop  dribble  down  so  as  to  spot  the 
table-cloth  ;  of  a  shoe-horn  the  handle  of  which  did  not  come 
undone  ;  and  of  a  pair  of  sleeve-links  which  you  could  put 
off  and  on  without  injury  to  the  temper.  "  A  real  bene- 
factor. Miss  Cayley  ;  a  real  benefactor  to  the  link-wearing 
classes  ;  for  he  has  sensibly  diminished  the  average  anmial 
output  of  profane  swearing." 

When  he  left  Five  Hundred  Pounds  to  his  faithful  servant 
Frederic  Higginson,  courier,  I  was  tempted  to  interpose  ;  but 
I  refrained  in  time,  and  I  was  glad  of  it  afterwards. 

At  last,  after  many  divagations,  my  Urbane  Old  Gentle- 
man arrived  at  the  central  point — "  And  I  give  and  bequeath 
to  my  nephew,  Harold  Ashurst  Tillington,  Younger  of  Gled- 
cliffe,  Dumfriesshire,  attache  to  Her  Majesty's  Embassy  at 
Rome " 

I  waited,  breathless. 

He  was  annoy ingly  dilatory.  "  My  house  and  estate  of 
Ashurst  Court,  in  the  County  of  Gloucester,  and  my  town 
house  at  24  Park  I^ane  North,  in  London,  together  with  the 
residue  of  all  my  estate,  real  or  personal "  and  so  forth. 

I  breathed  again.  At  least,  I  had  not  been  called  upon  to 
disinherit  Harold. 

"  Provided  always "  he  went  on,  in  the  same  voice. 

I  wondered  what  was  coming. 

"  Provided  always  that  the  said  Harold  Ashurst  Tillington 

does  not  marry leave  a  blank  there,  Miss  Cayley.     I  will 

find  out  the  name  of  the  person  I  desire  to  exclude,  and  fill 
it  in  afterward.     I  don't  recolkct  it  at  this  moment,  but 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman 


171 


Higginson,  no  doubt,  will  be  able  to  supply  the  deficiency. 

In  fact,  I  don't  think  I  ever  heard  it  ;  though  Higginson  has 

told  me  all  about  the  woman." 

"  Higginson  ?  "  I  enquired.     "  Is  he  here  ?  " 

"  Oh,    dear,   yes.     You   heard  of  him,    I   suppose,    from 

Georgina.     Georgina  is  prejudiced.     He  has  come  back  to 


I   WAITED,   BREATHLESS. 


me,  I  am  glad  to  say.  An  excellent  servant,  Higginson, 
though  a  trifle  too  omniscient.  All  men  are  equal  in  the  eyes 
of  their  Maker,  of  course  ;  but  we  must  have  due  subordina- 
tion. A  courier  ought  not  to  be  better  informed  than  his 
master — or  ought  at  least  to  conceal  the  fact  dexterously. 
Well,  Higginson  knows  this  young  person's  name;  my  .sister 
wrote  to  me  about  her  disgraceful  conduct  when  she  first 
went  to  Schlangenbad.  An  adventuress,  it  seems  ;  an  ad- 
venturess ;  quite  a  shocking  creature.     Foisted  herself  upon 


172 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


Lady  Georgina  in  Kensington  Gardens — unintroduced,  if 
you  can  believe  such  a  thing — with  the  most  astonishing 
effrontery  ;  and  Georgina,  who  will  forgive  anything  on 
earth,  for  the  sake  of  what  she  calls  originality  — another 
name  for  impudence,  as  I  am  sure  you  must  know — took  the 
young  woman  with  her  as  her  maid  to  Germany.  There, 
this  minx  tried  to  set  her  cap  at  my  nephew  Harold,  who 
can  be  caught  at  once  by  a  pretty  face  ;  and  Harold  was 
bowled  over — almost  got  engaged  to  her.  Georgina  took  a 
fancy  to  the  girl  later,  having  a  taste  for  dubious  people  (I 
cannot  say  I  approve  of  Georgina' s  friends),  and  wrote  again 
to  say  her  first  suspicions  were  unfounded:  the  young  wonic^n 
was  in  reality  a  paragon  of  virtue.  But  /know  better  than 
that.  Georgina  has  no  judgment.  I  regret  to  be  obliged  to 
confess  it,  but  cleverness,  I  fear,  is  the  only  thing  in  the 
world  my  excellent  sister  cares  for.  The  hussy,  it  seems, 
was  certainly  clever.  Higginson  has  told  me  about  her.  He 
says  her  bare  appearance  would  suffice  to  condemn  her — a 
bold,  fast,  shameless,  brazen-faced  creature.  But  you  will 
forgive  me,  I  am  sure,  my  dear  young  lady  ;  I  ought  not  to 
discuss  such  painted  Jezebels  before  you.  We  will  leave 
this  person's  name  blank.  I  will  not  sully  your  pen — 
I  mean,  your  typewriter — by  asking  you  to  transcribe 
it." 

I  made  up  my  mind  at  once.  "  Mr.  Ashurst,"  I  said, 
looking  up  from  my  keyboard,  "  /can  give  you  this  girl's 
name  ;  and  then  you  can  insert  the  proviso  immediately." 

"  You  can  ?  My  dear  young  lady,  what  a  wonderful  per- 
son you  are !  You  seem  to  know  everybody,  and  everything. 
But  perhaps  she  was  at  Schlangenbad  with  Lady  Georgina, 
and  you  were  there  also  ?  " 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  173 

"  She  was,"  I  answered,  deliberately.  "  The  name  you 
want  is — Lois  Cayley  !  " 

He  let  his  notes  drop  in  his  astonishment. 

I  went  on  with  my  typewriting,  unmoved.  "  Provided 
always  that  the  said  Harold  Ashurst  Tillington  does  not 
marry  Lois  Cayley  ;  in  which  case  I  will  and  desire  that  the 

said  estate  shall   pass  to whom    shall   I   put  in,    Mr. 

Ashurst?" 

He  leant  forward  with  his  fat  hands  on  his  ample  knees. 
"  It  was  reaWy  you  f  "  he  enquired,  open-mouthed. 

I  nodded.  "  There  is  no  use  in  denying  the  truth.  Mr. 
Tillington  did  ask  me  to  be  his  wife,  and  I  refused  him." 

"  But,  my  dear  Miss  Cayley " 

"  The  difference  in  station  ?  "  I  said  ;  "  the  difference, 
still  greater,  in  this  world's  goods  ?  Yes,  I  know.  I  admit 
all  that.  So  I  declined  his  oflfer.  I  did  not  wish  to  ruin  his 
prospects. ' ' 

The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  eyed  me  with  a  sudden  tender- 
ness in  his  glance.  "  Young  men  are  lucky,"  he  said, 
slowly,  after  a  short  pause  ;  "  — and — Higginson  is  an  idiot. 
I  say  it  deliberately — an  idiot  !  How  could  one  dream  of 
trusting  the  judgment  of  a  flunkey  about  a  lady  ?  My  dear — 
excuse  the  familiarity  from  one  who  may  consider  himself  in 
a  certain  sense  a  contingent  uncle — suppose  we  amend  the 
last  clause  by  the  omission  of  the  word  not.  It  strikes  me  as 
superfluous.  *  Provided  always  the  said  Harold  Ashurst 
Tillington  consents  to  marry  ' — I  think  that  sounds  better  !  " 

He  looked  at  me  with  such  fatherly  regard  that  it  pricked 
my  heart  ever  to  have  poked  fun  at  his  Interpretation  of 
Prophecy  on  Stock  Exchange  principles.  I  think  I  flushed 
crimson.     "  No,  no,"  I  answered,  firmly.     "  That  will  not 


174  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

do  either,  please.  Tliat  's  worse  than  the  other  way.  You 
must  not  put  it,  Mr.  Ashurst.  I  could  not  consent  to  be 
willed  away  to  anybody." 

He  leant  forward,  with  real  earnestness.  "  My  dear,"  he 
said,  "  that 's  not  the  point.  Pardon  my  reminding  you  that 
you  are  here  in  your  capacity  as  my  amanuensis.  I  am 
drawing  up  my  will,  and  if  you  will  allow  me  to  say  so,  I 
cannot  admit  that  anyone  has  a  claim  to  influence  me  in  the 
disposition  of  my  Property." 

"  Please  .'  "  I  cried,  pleadingly. 

He  looked  at  me  and  paused.  "  Well,"  he  went  on  at 
last,  after  a  long  interval  ;  "  since  jw<  insist  upon  it,  I  will 
leave  the  bequest  to  stand  without  condition." 

"  Thank  you,"  I  murmured,  bending  low  over  my 
machine. 

"  If  I  did  as  I  like,  though,"  he  went  on,  "  I  should  say. 
Unless  he  marries  Miss  Lois  Cayley  (who  is  a  deal  too  good 
for  him),  the  estate  shall  revert  to  Kynaston's  eldest  son,  a 
confounded  jackass.  I  do  not  usually  indulge  in  intemperate 
language  ;  but  I  desire  to  assure  you,  with  the  utmost  calm- 
ness, that  Kynaston's  eldest  son,  Lord  Southniinster,  is  a 
con-founded  jackass." 

I  rose  and  took  his  hand  in  my  own  spontaneously.  "  Mr. 
Ashurst,"  I  said,  "  you  may  interpret  prophecy  as  long  as 
ever  you  like,  but  you  are  a  dear,  kind  old  gentleman.  I  am 
truly  grateful  to  you  for  your  good  opinion." 

"  And  you  will  marry  Harold  ?  " 

"  Never,"  I  answered  ;  "  while  he  is  rich.  I  have  said  as 
much  to  him." 

•'  That  's  hard,"  he  went  on,  slowly.  "  For  ...  I 
should  like  to  be  your  uncle." 


The  Urbane  Old  Gentleman 


1/5 


I  trembled  all  over.     Elsie  saved  the  situation  by  bursting 
in  abruptly'. 
I  will  only  add  that  when  Mr.  Ashurst  left,  I  copied  the 


"WHAT,  YOU  hkre!"  he  cried. 


will  out   neatly,  without  erasures.     The  rough  original  I 
threw  (somewhat  carelessly)  into  the  waste-paper  basket. 

That  afternoon,  somebody  called  to  fetch  the  fair  copy  for 
Mr.  Ashurst.  I  went  out  into  the  front  office  to  see  him. 
To  my  surprise,  it  was  Iligginson — in  his  guise  as  courier. 


T76  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

He  was  as  astonished  as  myself.  "  What,  yoic  here  !  " 
he  cried.     "  You  dog  me  !  " 

"  I  was  thinking  the  same  thing  of  you,  M.  le  Comte,"  I 
answered,  curtsying. 

He  made  no  attempt  at  an  excuse.  "  Well,  I  have  been 
sent  for  the  will,"  he  broke  out,  curtly. 

"  And  you  were  sent  for  the  jewel-case,"  I  retorted. 
"  No,  no,  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley  ;  /  am  in  charge  of  the 
will,  and  I  will  take  it  myself  to  Mr.  Ashurst." 

"  I  will  be  even  with  you  yet,"  he  snapped  out.  "  I  have 
gone  back  to  my  old  trade,  and  am  trying  to  lead  an  honest 
life  ;  hxxiyoii  won't  let  me." 

**  On  the  contrary,"  I  answered,  smiling  a  polite  smile, 
"  I  rejoice  to  hear  it.  If  you  say  nothing  more  against  me 
to  your  employer,  I  will  not  disclose  to  him  what  I  know 
about  you.  But  if  you  slander  me,  I  will.  So  now  we 
understand  one  another." 

And  I  kept  the  will  till  I  could  give  it  myself  into  Mr. 
Ashurst's  own  hands  in  his  rooms  that  evening. 


CHAPTER  VII 

THE  advunture;  of  the  unobtrusive  oasis 

I  WILL  not  attempt  to  describe  to  you  the  minor  episodes 
of  our  next  twelve  months— the  manuscripts  we  type- 
wrote and  the  Manitous  we  sold.  'T  is  one  of  my  aims 
in  a  world  so  rich  in  bores  to  avoid  being  tedious.  I  will 
merely  say,  therefore,  that  we  spent  the  greater  part  of  the 
year  in  Florence,  where  we  were  building  up  a  connection, 
but  rode  back  for  the  summer  months  to  Switzerland,  as 
being  a  livelier  place  for  the  trade  in  bicycles.  The  net  re- 
sult was  not  only  that  we  covered  our  expenses,  but  that, 
as  chancellor  of  the  exchequer,  I  found  myself  with  a  surplus 
in  hand  at  the  end  of  the  season. 

When  we  returned  to  Florence  for  the  winter,  however,  I 
confess  I  began  to  chafe.  "  This  is  slow  work,  Elsie  !  "  I 
said.  "  I  started  out  to  go  round  the  world  ;  it  has  taken 
me  eighteen  months  to  travel  no  farther  than  Italy  !  At 
this  rate,  I  shall  reach  New  York  a  grey-haired  old  lady,  in 
a  nice  lace  cap,  and  totter  back  into  London  a  venerable 
crone  on  the  verge  of  ninety." 

However,  those  invaluable  doctors  came  to  my  rescue  un- 
expectedly. I  do  love  doctors  ;  they  are  always  sending  you 
off  at  a  moment's  notice  to  delightful  places  you   never 


17^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

dreamt  of.  Elsie  was  better,  but  still  far  from  strong.  I 
took  it  upon  me  to  consult  our  medical  attendant ;  and  his 
verdict  Wiis  decisive.  He  did  just  what  a  doctor  ought  to 
do.  "  She  is  getting  on  very  well  in  Florence,"  he  said  ; 
"  but  if  you  want  to  restore  her  health  completely,  I  should 
advise  you  to  take  her  for  a  winter  to  Egypt.  After  six 
months  of  the  dry,  warm,  desert  air,  I  don't  doubt  she  might 
return  to  lier  work  in  lyondon." 

That  last  point  I  used  as  a  lever  with  Elsie.  She  posi- 
tively revels  in  teaching  mathematics.  At  first,  to  be  sure, 
she  objected  that  we  had  only  just  money  enough  to  pay  our 
way  to  Cairo,  and  that  when  we  got  there  we  might  starve — 
her  favourite  programme.  I  have  not  this  extraordinary 
taste  for  starving  ;  7ny  idea  is,  to  go  where  j'ou  like,  and  find 
something  decent  to  eat  when  you  get  there.  However,  to 
humour  her,  I  began  to  cast  about  me  for  a  source  of  in- 
come. There  is  no  absolute  harm  in  seeing  your  way  clear 
before  you  for  a  twelvemonth,  though  of  course  it  deprives 
you  of  the  plot-interest  of  poverty. 

"  Elsie,"  I  said,  in  my  best  didactic  style — I  excel  in 
didactics, — "  you  do  not  learn  from  the  lessons  that  life  sets 
before  you.  Look  at  the  stage,  for  example  ;  the  stage  is 
universally  acknowledged  at  the  present  day  to  be  a  great 
teacher  of  morals.  Does  not  Irving  say  so  ? — and  he  ought 
to  know.  There  is  that  splendid  model  for  imitation,  for  in- 
stance, the  Clown  in  the  pantomime.  How  does  Clown 
regulate  his  life  ?  Does  he  take  heed  for  the  morrow  ?  Not 
a  bit  of  it  !  *  I  wish  I  had  a  goose,'  he  says,  at  some  critical 
juncture  ;  and  just  as  he  says  it — pat — a  super  strolls  upon 
the  stage  with  a  property  goose  on  a  wooden  tray  ;  and 
Clown  cries,  '  Oh,  look  here,  Joey  ;  here  's  a  goose  ! '  and 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  179 

proceeds  to  appropriate  it.  Then  he  puts  his  fingers  in  his 
mouth  and  observes,  '  I  wish  I  had  a  few  apples  to  make  the 
sauce  with '  ;  and  as  the  words  escape  him — pat  again — a 
small  boy  with  a  very  squeaky  voice  runs  on,  carrying  a 
basket  of  apples.  Clown  trips  him  up,  and  bolls  with  the 
basket.  There  's  a  model  for  imitation  !  The  stage  sets 
these  great  moral  lessons  before  you  regularly  every  Christ- 
mas ;  yet  you  fail  to  profit  by  them.  Govern  your  life  on 
the  principles  exemplified  by  Clown  ;  expect  to  find  that 
whatever  you  want  will  turn  up  with  punctuality  and  dis- 
patch at  the  proper  moment.  Be  adventurous  and  you  will 
be  happy.  Take  that  as  a  new  maxim  to  put  in  your  copy- 
book !  " 

"  I  wish  I  could  think  so,  dear,"  Elsie  answered.  "  But 
your  confidence  staggers  me." 

That  evening  at  our  table  d^lidtc,  however,  it  was  amply 
justified.  A  smooth-faced  young  man  of  ample  girth  and 
most  prosperous  exterior  happened  to  sit  next  us.  He  had 
his  wife  with  him,  so  I  judged  it  safe  to  launch  on  conversa- 
tion. We  soon  found  out  that  he  was  the  millionaire  editor- 
proprietor  of  a  great  London  daily,  with  many  more  strings 
to  his  journalistic  bow  ;  his  honoured  name  was  Elworthy. 
I  mentioned  casually  that  we  thought  of  going  for  the  winter 
to  Egypt.  He  pricked  his  ears  up.  But  at  the  time  he  said 
nothing.  After  dinner,  we  adjourned  to  the  cosy  salon.  I 
talked  to  him  and  his  wife  ;  and  somehow,  that  evening,  the 
devil  entered  into  me.  I  am  subject  to  devils.  I  hasten  to 
add,  they  are  mild  ones.  I  had  one  of  my  reckless  moods 
just  then,  however,  and  I  reeled  off  rattling  stories  of  our 
various  adventures.  Mr.  Elworthy  believed  in  youth  and 
audacity  ;  I  could  see  I  interested  him.     The  more  he  was 


i8o  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

amused,  the  more  reckless  I  became.  "  That  's  bright,"  he 
said  at  last,  when  I  told  him  the  tale  of  our  amateur  exploits 
in  the  sale  of  Manitous.  "That  would  make  a  good 
article!" 

"  Yes,"  I  answered,  with  bravado,  determined  to  strike 
while  the  iron  was  hot.  '*  What  the  Daily  Telephone  lacks 
is  just  one  enlivening  touch  of  feminine  brightness." 

He  smiled.     **  What  is  your  forte  ?  "  he  enquired. 

**  My  forte,"  I  answered,  "  is — to  go  where  I  choose,  and 
write  what  I  like  about  it."  • 

He  smiled  again.  "  And  a  very  good  new  departure  in 
journalism  too  !  A  roving  commission  !  Have  you  ever 
tried  your  hand  at  writing  ?  ' ' 

Had  I  ever  tried  !  It  was  the  ambition  of  my  life  to  see 
myself  in  print  ;  though,  hitherto,  it  had  been  ineffectual. 
"  I  have  written  a  few  sketches,"  I  answered,  with  becoming 
modesty.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  our  ofl&ce  bulged  with  my  un- 
published manuscripts. 

"  Could  you  let  me  see  them  ?  "  he  asked. 

I  assented,  with  inner  joy,  but  outer  reluctance.  "  If  you 
wish  it,"  I  murmured  ;  "  but — you  must  be  very  lenient  !  " 

Though  I  had  not  told  Elsie,  the  truth  of  the  matter  was, 
I  had  just  then  conceived  an  idea  for  a  novel — my  viagmnn 
opus — the  setting  of  which  compelled  Egyptian  local  colour  ; 
and  I  was  therefore  dying  to  get  to  Egypt,  if  chance  so  willed 
it.  I  accordingly  submitted  a  few  of  my  picked  manuscripts 
to  Mr.  Elworthy,  in  fear  and  trembling.  He  read  them, 
cruel  man,  before  my  very  eyes  ;  I  sat  and  waited,  twiddling 
my  thumbs,  demure  but  apprehensive. 

When  he  had  finished,  he  laid  them  down. 

"  Racy  !  "  he  said.     "  Racy  !    You  're  quite  right,  Miss 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis 


iSi 


Cayley.  That 's  just  what  we  want  on  the  Daily  Tehphone. 
I  should  like  to  print  these  three,"  selecting  them  out,  "  at 
our  usual  rate  of  pay  per  thousand." 


HE  READ  THKM,   CRUEL  MAN,   BEFORE  MY   VERY   EYES. 

"  You  are  very  kind."     But  the  room  reeled  with  me. 

"  Not  at  all.  I  am  a  man  of  business.  And  these  are 
good  copy.  Now,  about  this  Egypt.  I  will  put  the  matter 
in  the  shape  of  a  business  proposition.  Will  you  undertake, 
if  I  pay  your  passage,  and  your  friend's,  with  all  travelling 
expenses,  to  let  me  have  three  d^scn^'.l  /•:  articles  a  week, 
on  Cairo,  the  Nile,  Syria,  and  India,  running  to  about  two 
thousand  words  apiece,  at  three  guineas  a  thousand  ? ' ' 


1 82  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

My  breath  came  and  went.  It  was  positive  opulence. 
The  super  with  the  goose  could  n't  approach  it  for  patness. 
My  editor  had  brought  me  the  apple  sauce  as  well,  without 
even  giving  me  the  trouble  of  cooking  it. 

The  very  next  day  everything  was  arranged.  Elsie  tried 
to  protest,  on  the  foolish  ground  that  she  had  no  money,  but 
the  faculty  had  ordered  the  apex  of  her  right  lung  to  go  to 
Egypt,  and  I  could  n't  let  her  fly  in  the  face  of  the  faculty. 
We  secured  our  berths  in  a  P.  and  O.  steatner  from  Brindisi  ; 
and  within  a  week  we  were  tossing  upon  the  bosom  of  the 
blue  Mediterranean. 

People  who  have  n't  crossed  the  blue  Mediterranean  cher- 
ish an  absurd  idea  that  it  is  always  calm  and  warm  and 
sunny.  I  am  sorry  to  take  away  any  sea's  character  ;  but 
I  speak  of  it  as  I  find  it  (to  borrow  a  phrase  from  my  old  gyp 
at  Girton);  and  I  am  bound  to  admit  that  the  Mediterranean 
did  not  treat  me  as  a  lady  expects  to  be  treated.  It  behaved 
disgracefully.  People  may  rhapsodise  as  long  as  they  choose 
about  a  life  on  the  ocean  wave;  for  my  own  part,  I  would  n't 
give  a  pin  for  sea-sick nes.s.  We  glided  down  the  Adriatic 
from  Brindisi  to  Corfu  with  a  reckless  profusion  of  lateral 
motion  which  suggested  the  idea  that  the  ship  must  have 
been  drinking. 

I  tried  to  rouse  Elsie  when  we  came  abreast  of  the  Ionian 
Islands,  and  to  remind  her  that  "  Here  was  the  home  of 
Nausicaa  in  the  Odyssey."  Elsie  failed  to  respond  ;  she 
was  otherwise  occupied.  At  last,  I  succumbed  and  gav^e  it 
up.  I  remember  nothing  further  till  a  day  and  a  half 
later,  when  we  got  under  lee  of  Crete,  and  the  ship  showed 
a  tendency  to  resume  the  perpendicular.  Then  I  began  once 
more  to  take  a  languid  interest  in  the  dinner  question. 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  183 

I  may  add  partiithetically  that  the  Mediterranean  is  a  mere 
bit  of  a  sea,  when  you  look  at  it  on  the  map — a  pocket  sea 
to  be  regarded  with  mingled  contempt  and  affection  ;  but 
you  learn  to  respect  it  when  you  find  that  it  takes  four  clear 
days  and  nights  of  abject  misery  merely  to  run  across  its 
eastern  basin  from  Brindisi  to  Alexandria.  I  respected  the 
Mediterranean  innnensely  while  we  lay  off  the  Peloponnesus 
in  the  trough  of  the  waves  with  a  north  wind  blowing  ;  I 
only  began  to  temper  my  respect  with  a  distant  liking  when 
we  passed  under  the  welcome  shelter  of  Crete  on  a  calm, 
star-lit  evening. 

It  was  deadly  cold.  We  had  not  counted  upon  such 
weather  in  the  sunny  south.  I  recollect  now  that  the 
Greeks  were  wont  to  represent  Boreas  as  a  chilly  deity,  and 
spoke  of  the  Thracian  breeze  with  the  same  deferentially 
deprecating  adjectives  which  we  ourselves  apply  to  the  east 
wind  of  our  fatherland;  but  that  apt  classical  memory  some- 
how failed  to  console  or  warm  me.  A  good-natured  male 
passenger,  however,  volunteered  to  ask  us,  "  Will  I  get  ye 
a  rug,  ladies?"  The  form  of  his  courteous  question  sug- 
gested the  probability  of  his  Irish  origin. 

"  You  are  very  kind,"  I  answered.  **  If  you  don't  want 
it  for  yourself,  I  'm  sure  my  triend  would  be  glad  to  have 
the  use  of  it." 

"  Is  it  meself  ?  Sure,  I  've  got  me  big  ulsther,  and  I  'm  as 
warrum  as  a  toast  in  it.  But  ye  're  not  provided  for  this 
weather.  Ye  've  thrusted  too  much  to  those  rascals  the 
po-uts.  '  Where  breaks  the  blue  Sicilian  say,'  the  rogues 
write.  I'd  like  to  set  them  down  in  it,  wid  a  nor'-easter 
blowing  !  " 

He  fetched  up  his  rug.     It  was  ample  and  soft,  a  smooth 


1 84 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


brown  camel-hair.  He  wrapped  us  both  up  in  it.  We  sat 
late  on  deck  that  night,  as  warm  as  toast  ourselves,  thanks 
to  our  genial  Irishman. 


T  IS   DR.   MACLOGHLEN,      HE  ANSWERED. 


We  asked  his  name.  "  'T  is  Dr.  Macloghlen,"  he  an- 
swered. "  I  'm  from  County  Clare,  ye  see  ;  and  I  'm  on  me 
way  to  Egypt  for  thravel  and  exploration.  Me  fader  whisht 
me  to  see  the  worruld  a  bit  before  I  'd  settle  down  to  practise 
me  profession  at  Liscannor.  Have  ye  ever  been  in  County 
Clare  ?    Sure,  't  is  the  pick  of  Oireland." 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  185 

"  We  have  that  pleasure  still  in  store,"  I  an.swered,  smiling. 
"  It  spreads  gold-leaf  over  the  future,  as  George  Meredith 
puts  it." 

"Is  it  Meredith  ?  Ah,  there  's  the  foine  writer  !  'T  is 
jaynius  the  man  has  :  I  can't  undtherstand  a  word  of  him. 
But  he  's  half  Otrish,  ye  know.  What  proof  have  I  got  of 
it  ?  An'  would  he  write  like  that  if  there  was  n't  a  dhrop 
of  the  blood  of  the  Celt  in  him  ?  " 

Next  day  and  next  night,  Dr.  Macloghlen  was  our  devoted 
slave.  I  had  won  his  heart  by  admitting  frankly  that  his 
countrywomen  had  the  finest  and  liveliest  eyes  in  Europe — 
eyes  with  a  deep  twinkle,  half  fun,  half  passion.  He  took 
to  us  at  once,  and  talked  to  us  incessantly.  He  was  a  red- 
haired,  raw-boned  Munster-man,  but  a  real  good  fellow. 
We  forgot  the  aggressive  inequalities  of  the  Mediterranean 
while  he  talked  to  us  of  "  the  pizzantry."  Late  the  second 
evening  he  propounded  a  confidence.  It  was  a  lovely  night  ; 
Orion  overhead,  and  the  plashing  phosphorescence  on  the 
water  below  conspired  v;it.h  the  hour  to  make  him  specially 
confidential.  "  Now,  Miss  Cayley,"  he  said,  leaning  for- 
ward on  his  deck  chair,  and  gazing  earnestly  into  my  eyes, 
"  there  's  wan  question  I  'd  like  to  ask  ye.  The  ambition 
of  me  life  is  to  get  into  Parlimint.  And  I  want  to  know  from 
ye,  as  a  frind — if  I  accomplish  me  heart's  wish — is  there 
annything,  in  me  apparence,  ar  in  me  voice,  ar  in  me  accent, 
ar  in  me  manner,  that  would  lade  annybody  to  suppose  I 
was  an  Oirishman  ?  " 

I  succeeded,  by  good  luck,  in  avoiding  Elsie's  eye.  What 
on  earth  could  I  answer  ?  Then  a  happy  thought  struck 
me.  "  Dr.  Macloghlen,"  I  said,  "  it  would  not  be  the 
slightest  use  your  trying  to  conceal  it  ;  for  even  if  nobody 


1 86  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

ever  detected  a  faint  Irish  intonation  in  your  words  or 
phrases — how  could  your  eloquence  fail  to  betray  you  for  a 
countryman  of  Sheridan  and  Burke  and  Grattan  ?  " 

He  seized  my  hand  with  such  warmth  that  I  thought  it 
best  to  hurry  down  to  my  state-room  at  once,  under  cover 
of  my  compliment. 

At  Alexandria  and  Cairo  we  found  him  invaluable.  He 
looked  after  our  luggage,  which  he  gallantly  rescued  from 
the  lean  hands  of  fifteen  Arab  porters,  all  eagerly  struggling 
to  gain  possession  of  our  effects  ;  he  saw  us  safe  into  the 
train  ;  and  he  never  quitted  us  till  he  had  safely  ensconced 
us  in  our  rooms  at  Shepheard's.  For  himself,  he  said,  with 
subdued  melancholy,  "  't  was  to  some  cheaper  hotel  he  must 
go  ;  Shepheard's  was  n't  for  the  likes  of  him  ;  though  if  land 
in  County  Clare  was  wort'  what  it  ought  to  be,  there  wasn't 
a  finer  estate  in  all  Oireland  than  his  fader's." 

Our  Mr.  Elworthy  was  a  modern  proprietor,  who  knew 
how  to  do  things  on  the  lordly  scale.  Having  commissioned 
me  to  write  this  series  of  articles,  he  intended  them  to  be 
written  in  the  first  style  of  art,  and  he  had  instructed  me 
accordingly  to  hire  one  of  Cook's  little  steam  dehabeahs, 
where  I  could  work  at  leisure.  Dr.  Macloghlen  was  in  his 
element  arranging  for  the  trip.  "  Sure  the  only  thing  I 
mind,"  he  said,  "  is — that  I  '11  not  be  going  wid  ye."  I 
think  he  was  half  inclined  to  invite  himself ;  but  there  again 
I  drew  the  line.  I  will  not  sell  salt  fish  ;  and  I  will  not  go 
up  the  Nile,  unchaperoned,  with  a  casual  man  acquaint- 
ance. 

He  did  the  next  best  thing,  however  :  he  took  a  place  in  a 
sailing  dahabeah  ;  and  as  we  steamed  up  slowly,  stopping 
often  on  the  way,  to  give  me  time  to  write  my  articles,  he 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  187 

managed  to  arrive  almost  always  at  every  town  or  ruin  ex- 
actly  when  we  did. 

I  will  not  describe  the  voyage.  The  Nile  is  the  Nile. 
Just  at  first,  before  we  got  used  to  it,  we  conscientiously 
looked  up  the  name  of  every  village  we  passed  on  the  bank 
in  our  Murray  and  our  Baedeker.  After  a  couple  of  days' 
Niling,  however,  we  found  that  formality  quite  unnecessary. 
They  were  all  the  same  village,  under  a  number  of  aliases. 
They  did  not  even  take  the  trouble  to  disguise  themselves 
anew,  like  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley,  on  each  fresh  appearance. 
They  had  every  one  of  them  a  small  whitewashed  mosque, 
with  a  couple  of  tall  minarets  ;  and  around  it  spread  a  tunn- 
ber  of  mud-bnilt  cottages,  looking  more  like  bee-hives  than 
human  habitations.  They  had  also  every  one  of  them  a 
group  of  date-palms,  overhanging  a  cluster  of  mean  bare 
houses  ;  and  they  all  alike  had  a  picturesque  and  even  im- 
posing air  from  a  distance,  but  faded  away  into  indescribable 
squalor  as  one  got  abreast  of  them.  Our  progress  was 
monotonous.  At  twelve,  noon,  we  would  pass  Aboo-Teeg, 
with  its  mosque,  its  palms,  its  mud-huts,  and  its  camels  ; 
then  for  a  couple  of  hours  we  would  go  on  through  the  midst 
of  a  green  field  on  either  side,  studded  by  more  mud-huts, 
and  backed  up  by  a  range  of  grey  desert  mountains  ;  only 
to  come  at  2  p.m.,  twenty  miles  higher  up,  upon  Aboo-Teeg 
once  more,  with  the  same  mosque,  the  same  mud-huts,  and 
the  same  haughty  camels,  placidly  chewing  the  same  aristo- 
cratic cud,  but  under  the  alias  of  Koos-kam.  After  a  wild 
hubbub  at  the  qnay,  we  would  leave  Koos-kam  behind,  with 
its  camels  still  vSerenely  munching  day  before  yesterday's 
dimier  ;  and  twenty  miles  farther  on,  again,  having  passed 
through  the  same  green  plain,  backed  by  the  same  grey 


i88 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


mountains,  we  would  stop  once  more  at  the  identical  Koos- 
kam,  which  this  time  absurdly  described  itself  as  Tahtah. 
But  whether  it  was  Aboo-Teeg  or  Koos-kam  or  Tahtah  or 
anything  else,  only  the  name  differed  :  it  was  always  the 


TOO  MUCH  NILE. 

same  town,  and  had  always  the  same  camels  at  precisely  the 
same  stage  of  the  digestive  process.  It  seemed  to  us  im- 
material whether  you  saw  all  the  Nile  or  only  five  miles  of 
it.  It  was  just  like  wall-paper.  A  sample  sufficed  ;  the 
whole  was  the  sample  infinitely  repeated. 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  189 

However,  I  had  my  letters  to  write,  and  I  wrote  them 
vahantly.  I  described  the  various  episodes  of  the  compli- 
cated digestive  process  in  the  camel  in  the  minutest  detail. 
I  gloated  over  the  date-palms,  which  I  knew  in  three  days 
as  if  I  had  been  brought  up  upon  dates.  I  gave  word- 
pictures  of  every  individual  child,  veiled  woman,  Arab 
sheikh,  and  Coptic  priest  whom  we  encountered  on  the 
voyage.  And  I  am  open  to  reprint  those  conscientious 
studies  of  mud-huts  and  minarets  with  any  enterprising 
publisher  who  will  make  me  an  offer. 

Another  disillusion  weighed  upon  my  soul.  Before  I  went 
up  the  Nile,  I  had  a  fancy  of  my  own  that  the  bank  was 
studded  with  endle.ss  ruined  temples,  whose  vast  red  colon- 
nades were  reflected  in  the  water  at  every  turn.  I  think 
Macaulay's  Lays  were  primarily  answerable  for  that  particu- 
lar misapprehension.  As  a  matter  of  fact,  it  surprised  me  to 
find  that  we  often  went  for  two  whole  days'  hard  steaming 
without  ever  a  temple  breaking  the  monotony  of  those  eternal 
date-palms,  those  calm  and  superciliously  irresponsive  camels. 
In  my  humble  opinion,  Egypt  is  a  fraud  ;  there  is  too  much 
Nile — very  dirty  Nile  at  that — and  not  nearly  enough  temple. 
Besides,  the  temples,  when  j'ou  do  come  up  with  them,  are 
just  like  the  villages  ;  they  are  the  same  temple  over  again, 
under  a  different  name  each  time,  and  they  have  the  same 
gods,  the  same  kings,  the  same  wearisome  bas-reliefs,  except 
that  the  gentleman  in  a  chariot,  ten  feet  high,  who  is  mowing 
down  enemies  a  quarter  his  own  size,  with  unsportsmanlike 
recklessness,  is  called  Rameses  in  this  place,  and  Sethi  in 
that,  and  Amen-hotep  in  the  other.  With  this  trifling  varia- 
tion, when  you  have  seen  one  temple,  one  obelisk,  one  hiero- 
glyphic table,  you  have  seen  the  whole  of  Ancient  Egypt. 


I  go  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

At  last,  after  many  days'  voyage  through  the  same  scenery 
daily — rising  in  the  morning  off  a  village  with  a  mosque,  ten 
palms,  and  two  minarets,  and  retiring  late  at  night  off  the 
same  village  once  more,  with  mosque,  palms,  and  minarets, 
as  before,  da  capo — we  arrived  one  evening  at  a  place  called 
Geergeh.  In  itself,  I  believe,  Geergeh  did  not  differ  materi- 
ally from  all  the  other  places  we  had  passed  on  our  voyage  ; 
it  had  its  mosque,  its  ten  palms,  and  its  two  minarets,  as 
usual.  But  I  remember  its  name,  because  something  mys- 
terious went  wrong  there  with  our  machinery  ;  and  the 
engineer  informed  us  we  nmst  wait  at  least  three  days 
to  mend  it.  Dr.  Macloghlen's  dahabeah  happened  oppor- 
tunely to  arrive  at  the  same  spot  on  the  same  day  ;  and  he 
declared  with  fervour  he  would  "  see  us  through  our 
throubles."  But  what  on  earth  were  we  to  do  with  our- 
selves through  three  long  days  and  nights  at  Geergeh  ? 
There  were  the  ruins  of  Abydos  close  at  hand,  to  be  sure  ; 
though  I  defy  anybody  not  a  professed  Egyptologist  to  give 
more  than  one  day  to  the  ruins  of  Abydos.  In  this  emer- 
gency. Dr.  Macloghlen  came  gallantly  to  our  aid.  He  dis- 
covered by  enquiring  from  an  English-vSpeaking  guide  that 
there  was  an  unobtrusive  oasis,  never  visited  by  Europeans, 
one  long  day's  journey  off",  across  the  desert.  As  a  rule,  it 
takes  at  least  three  days  to  get  camels  and  guides  together 
for  such  an  expedition  ;  for  Egypt  is  not  a  land  to  hurry  in. 
But  the  indefatigable  Doctor  further  unearthed  the  fact  that 
a  sheikh  had  just  come  in,  who  (for  a  consideration)  would 
lend  us  camels  for  a  two  days'  trip  ;  and  we  seized  the  chance 
to  do  our  duty  by  Mr.  Elworthy  and  the  world-wide  circula- 
tion. An  unvisited  oasis — and  two  Christian  ladies  to  be  the 
first  to  explore  it :  there  's  journalistic  enterprise  for  you  ! 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  191 

If  we  happened  to  be  killed,  so  much  the  better  for  the  Daily 
Telephone.  I  pictured  the  excitement  at  Piccadilly  Circus. 
"  Extra  Special,  Our  Own  Correspondent  brutally  mur- 
dered !  "     I  rejoiced  at  the  opportunity. 

I  cannot  honestly  say  that  Elsie  rejoiced  with  me.  She 
cherished  a  prejudice  against  camels,  massacres,  and  the  new 
journalism.  She  did  n't  like  being  murdered;  though  this 
was  premature,  for  she  had  never  tried  it.  She  objected 
that  the  fanatical  Mohammedans  of  the  Senoosi  sect,  who 
were  said  to  inhabit  the  oasis  in  question,  might  cut  our 
throats  for  dogs  of  infidels.  I  pointed  out  to  her  at  some 
length  that  it  was  just  that  chance  which  added  zest  to  our 
expedition  as  a  journalistic  venture;  fancy  the  glory  of  being 
the  first  lady  journalists  martyred  in  the  cause  !  But  she 
failed  to  grasp  this  aspect  of  the  question.  However,  if  I 
went,  she  would  go  too,  she  said,  like  a  dear  girl  that  she  is  ; 
she  would  not  desert  me  when  I  was  getting  my  throat  cut. 

Dr.  Macloghlen  made  the  bargain  for  us,  and  insisted  on 
accompanying  us  across  the  desert.  He  told  us  his  method 
of  negotiation  with  the  Arabs  with  extreme  gusto.  "  '  Is  it 
pay  in  advance  ye  want  ?  '  says  I  to  the  dirty  beggars  : 
'  divvil  a  penny  will  ye  get  till  ye  bring  these  ladies  safe 
back  to  Geergeh.  And  remimber,  Mr.  Sheikh,'  says  I, 
fingering  me  pistol,  so,  by  way  of  emphasis,  *  we  take  no 
money  wid  us  ;  so  if  yer  friends  at  Wadi  Bou  choose  to  cut 
our  throats,  't  is  for  the  pleasure  of  it  they  '11  be  cutting 
them,  not  for  anything  they  '11  gain  by  it.'  *  Provisions, 
effendi  ?  '  says  he,  salaaming.  '  Provisions,  is  it  ?  '  says  I. 
'  Take  everything  ye  '11  want  wid  you  ;  I  suppose  ye  can 
buy  food  fit  for  a  Crischun  in  the  bazaar  in  Geergeh  ;  and 
never  wan  penny  do  ye  touch  for  it  all  till  ye  've  landed  us 


192 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


on  the  bank  again,  as  safe  as  ye  took  us.  So  if  the  religious 
sintiments  of  the  faithful  at  Wadi  Bou  should  lade  them  to 
hack  us  to  pieces,'  says  I,  just  waving  nie  revolver,  '  thin 


EMPHASIS. 


't  is  yerself  that  will  be  out  of  pocket  by  it,'  And  the  ould 
diwil  cringed  as  if  he  took  nie  for  the  Prince  of  Wales. 
Faix,  't  is  the  purse  that  's  the  best  argumint  to  catch  these 
hay  then  Arabs  upon." 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  193 

When  we  set  out  for  the  desert  in  the  early  dawn  next 
day,  it  looked  as  if  we  were  starting  for  a  few  months'  voy- 
age. We  had  a  company  of  camels  that  might  have  befitted 
a  caravan.  We  had  two  large  tents,  one  for  ourselves,  and 
one  for  Dr.  Macloghlen,  with  a  third  to  dine  in.  We  had 
bedding,  and  cushions,  and  drinking-water  tied  up  in  swol- 
len pig-skins,  which  were  really  goat-skins,  looking  far  from 
tempting.  We  had  bread  and  meat,  and  a  supply  of  presents 
to  soflen  the  hearts  and  weaken  the  religious  scruples  of  the 
sheikhs  at  Wadi  Bou.  "  We  thravel  en  prince,'''  said  the 
Doctor.  When  all  was  ready  we  got  under  way  solemnlj', 
our  camels  rising  and  sniffing  the  breeze  with  a  superior  air, 
as  who  should  saj-,  "  I  happen  to  be  going  where  you  hap- 
pen to  be  going  ;  but  don't  for  a  moment  suppose  I  do  it  to 
please  you.  It  is  mere  coincidence.  You  are  bound  for 
Wadi  Bou  ;  I  have  business  of  my  own  which  chances  to  take 
me  there." 

Over  the  incidents  of  the  journey  I  draw  a  veil.  Riding 
a  camel,  I  find,  does  not  greatly  differ  from  sea-sickness. 
They  are  the  same  phenomenon  under  altered  circumstances. 
We  had  been  assured  beforehand  on  excellent  authority  that 
"  much  of  the  comfort  on  a  desert  journey  depends  upon 
having  a  good  camel."  On  this  matter  I  am  no  authority. 
I  do  not  set  up  as  a  judge  of  camel-flesh.  But  I  did  not 
notice  any  of  the  comfort  ;  so  T  venture  to  believe  my 
camel  must  have  been  an  exceptionally  bad  one. 

We  expected  trouble  from  the  fanatical  natives  ;  I  am 
bound  to  admit,  we  had  most  trouble  with  Elsie.  She  was 
not  insubordinate,  but  she  did  not  care  for  camel-riding. 
And  her  beast  took  advantage  of  her  youth  and  innocence. 
A  well-behaved  camel  should  go  almost  as  fast  as  a  child  can 

*3 


194  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

walk,  and  should  not  sit  down  plump  on  the  burning  sand 
without  due  reason.     Elsie's  brute  crawled,  and  called  halts 


RIDING  A  CAMEL  DOES  NOT  GREATLY   DIFFER   FROM   SEA-SICKNESS. 

for  prayer  at  frequent  intervals  ;  it  tried  to  kneel  like  a  good 
Mussulman  many  times  a  day  ;  and  it  showed  an  intolerant 
disposition  to  crush  the  infidel  by  rolling  over  on  top  of 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  195 

Elsie.  Dr.  Macloghlen  admonished  it  with  Irish  eloquence, 
not  always  in  language  intended  for  publication  ;  but  it  only 
turned  up  its  supercilious  lip  and  enquired  in  its  own  un- 
spoken tongue  what  he  knew  about  the  desert. 

"  I  feel  like  a  wurrum  before  the  baste,"  the  Doctor  said, 
nonplussed. 

If  the  Nile  was  monotonous,  the  road  to  Wadi  Bou  was 
nothing  short  of  dreary.  We  crossed  a  great  ridge  of  bare, 
grey  rock,  and  followed  a  rolling  valley  of  sand,  scored  by 
dry  ravines,  and  baking  in  the  sun.  It  was  ghastly  to  look 
upon.  All  day  long,  save  at  the  midday  rest  by  some  brack- 
ish wells,  we  rode  on  and  on,  the  brutes  stepping  forward 
with  slow,  outstretched  legs  ;  though  sometimes  we  walked 
by  the  camels'  sides  to  var}'  the  monotony ;  but  ever  through 
that  dreary  upland  plain,  sand  in  the  centre,  rocky  mountain 
at  the  edge,  and  not  a  thing  to  look  at.  We  were  relieved 
towards  evening  to  stumble  against  stunted  tamarisks,  half 
buried  in  sand,  and  to  feel  that  we  were  approaching  the 
edge  of  the  oasis. 

When  at  last  our  arrogant  beasts  condescended  to  stop,  in 
their  patronising  way,  we  saw  by  the  dim  light  of  the  moon 
a  sort  of  uneven  basin  or  hollow,  studded  with  date-palms, 
and  in  the  midst  of  the  depression  a  crumbling  walled  town, 
with  a  whitewashed  mosque,  two  minarets  by  its  side,  and 
a  crowd  of  mud-houses.  It  was  strangely  familiar.  We  had 
come  all  this  way  just  to  see  Aboo-Teeg  or  Koos-kam  over 
again  ! 

We  camped  outside  the  fortified  town  that  night.  Next 
monn'ng  we  essayed  to  make  our  entry. 

At  first,  the  servants  of  tlie  Prophet  on  watch  at  the  gate 
raised  serious  objections.     No  infidel  might  enter.     But  we 


196  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

had  a  p:iss  from  Cairo,  exhorting  the  faithful  iti  the  name  of 
the  Khedive  to  give  us  food  and  shelter  ;  and  after  much 
examination  and  many  loud  discussions,  the  gatemen  passed 
us.  We  entered  the  town,  and  stood  alone,  three  Christian 
Europeans,  in  the  midst  of  three  thousand  fanatical  Moham- 
medans. 

I  confess  it  was  weird.  Elsie  shrank  by  my  side.  "  vSup- 
pose  they  were  to  attack  us,  Brownie  .'•  " 

"Thin  the  sheikh  here  would  never  get  paid,"  Dr. 
Macloghlen  put  in  with  true  Irish  recklessness.  "  Faix, 
he  '11  whistle  for  his  money  on  the  whistle  I  gave  him." 

That  touch  of  humour  saved  us.  We  laughed  ;  and  the 
people  about  saw  we  could  laugh.  They  left  off  scowling,  and 
pressed  around  trying  to  sell  us  pottery  and  native  brooches. 
In  the  intervals  of  fanaticism,  the  Arab  has  an  eye  to 
business. 

We  passed  up  the  chief  street  of  the  bazaar.  The  inhabit- 
ants told  us  in  pantomime  the  chief  of  the  town  was  away  at 
Asioot,  whither  he  had  gone  two  days  ago  on  business.  If 
he  were  here,  our  interpreter  gave  us  to  understand,  things 
might  have  been  different  ;  for  the  chief  had  determined 
that,  whatever  came,  no  infidel  dog  should  settle  in  his 
oasis. 

The  women  with  their  veiled  faces  attracted  us  strangely. 
They  were  wilder  than  on  the  river.  They  ran  when  one 
looked  at  them.  Suddenly,  as  we  passed  one,  we  saw  her 
give  a  little  start.  She  was  veiled  like  the  rest,  but  her  agi- 
tation was  evident  through  her  thick  covering. 

"She  is  afraid  of  Christians,"  Elsie  cried,  nestling  to- 
wards me. 

The  woman  passed  close  to  us.     She  never  looked  in  our 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis 


197 


direction,  but  in  a  very  low  voice  she  niunnurecl,  as  she 
passed,  "  Then  you  are  Kn^lish  !  " 

I  had  presence  of  mind  enough  to  conceal  my  surprise  at 
this  unexpected  utterance.      "  Don't  seem   to   uotice  her, 


HER   AGITATION   WAS  EVIDENT. 


Elsie,"  I  said,  looking  away.     **  Yes,  we  are  English." 

She  stopped  and  pretended  to  examine  some  jewellery 
on  a  stall.  ' '  So  am  I, "  she  went  on,  in  the  same  suppressed, 
low  v^oice.     "  For  Heaven's  sake,  help  me  !  " 


19^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  What  are  you  doing  here  ?  " 

"  I  live  here — married.  I  was  with  Gordon's  force  at 
Khartoum.  They  carried  me  off.  A  mere  girl  then.  Now 
I  am  thirty." 

"  And  you  have  been  here  ever  since  ?  " 

She  turned  away  and  walked  off,  but  kept  whispering  be- 
hind her  veil.  \Vc  followed,  unobtrusively.  "Yes;  I  was 
sold  to  a  man  at  Dongola.  He  passed  me  on  again  to  the 
chief  of  this  oasis.  I  don't  know  where  it  is  ;  but  I  have 
been  here  ever  since.  I  hate  this  life.  Is  there  any  chance 
of  a  rescue  ?  ' ' 

"  Anny  chance  of  a  rescue,  is  it  ?  "  the  Doctor  broke  in,  a 
trifle  too  ostensibly.  "  If  it  costs  us  a  whole  British  army, 
me  dear  lady,  we  '11  fetch  you  away  and  save  you." 

"  But  now — to-day  ?  You  won't  go  away  and  leave  me  ? 
You  are  the  first  Europeans  I  have  seen  since  Khartoum  fell. 
They  may  sell  me  again.     You  will  not  desert  me  ?  " 

"  No,"  I  said.  "  We  will  not."  Then  I  reflected  for  a 
moment. 

What  on  earth  could  we  do  ?  This  was  a  painful  dilemma. 
If  we  once  lost  sight  of  her,  we  might  not  see  her  again. 
Yet  if  we  walked  with  her  openly,  and  talked  like  friends,  we 
would  betraj'  ourselves,  and  her,  to  those  fanatical  Senoosis. 

I  made  up  my  mind  promptly.  I  may  not  have  nuich  of  a 
mind  ;  but,  such  as  it  is,  I  flatter  myself  I  can  make  it  up  at 
a  moment's  notice. 

"  Can  you  come  to  us  outside  the  gate  at  siinset  ?  "  I 
asked,  as  if  speaking  to  Elsie. 

The  woman  hesitated.     ''  I  think  so." 

"  Then  keep  us  in  sight  all  day,  and  when  evening  comes, 
stroll  out  behind  us." 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  199 

She  turned  over  some  embroidered  slippers  on  a  booth, 
and  seemed  to  be  inspecting  them.  "  But  my  children  ?  " 
she  murmured  anxiously. 

The  Doctor  interposed.  "Is  it  childern  she  has?"  he 
asked.  "  Thin  they  U  be  the  Mohammedan  gintleman's. 
We  must  n't  interfere  wid  them.  We  can  take  away  the  lady 
— she  's  English,  and  detained  against  her  will  ;  but  we  can't 
deprive  any  man  of  his  own  childern." 

I  was  firm,  and  categorical.  "  Yes,  we  can,"  I  said, 
stoutly  ;  "  if  he  has  forced  a  woman  to  bear  them  to  him 
whether  she  would  or  not.  That 's  common  justice.  I  have 
no  respect  for  the  Mohammedan  gentleman's  rights.  Let 
her  l)ring  them  with  her.     How  many  are  there  ?  " 

"  Two — a  boy  and  a  girl  ;  not  very  old  ;  the  eldest  is 
seven."     She  spoke  wistfully.     A  mother  is  a  mother.    \ 

"  Then  say  no  more  now,  but  keep  us  always  in  sight,  and 
we  will  keep  you.  Come  to  us  at  the  gate  about  sundown. 
We  will  carry  you  off  with  us." 

She  clasped  her  hands  and  moved  off  with  the  peculiar 
gliding  air  of  the  veiled  Mohammedan  woman.  Our  e>  js 
followed  her.  We  walked  on  through  the  bazaai^  thinking 
of  nothing  else  now.  It  was  strange  how  this  episode  made 
us  forget  our  selfish  fears  for  our  own  safety.  Even  dear, 
timid  Elsie  remembered  only  that  an  .Englishwoman's  life 
and  liberty  were  at  stake.  We  kept  her  more  or  less  in 
view  all  day.  She  glided  in  and  out  among  the  people  in 
the  alleys.  When  we  went  back  to  the  camels  at  lunch- 
time,  she  followed  us  unobtrusively  through  the  open  gate, 
and  sat  watching  us  from  a  little  way  off,  among  a  crowd  of 
gazers  ;  for  all  Wadi  Bou  was  of  course  agog  at  this  un- 
wonted invasion. 


2cx>  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

We  discussed  the  circumstance  loudly,  so  that  she  might 
hear  our  plans.  Dr.  Macloghlen  advised  that  we  should  tell 
our  sheikh  we  meant  to  return  part  of  the  way  to  Geergeh 
that  evening  by  moonlight.  I  quite  agreed  with  him.  It 
was  the  only  way  out.  Besides,  I  did  n't  like  the  looks  of 
the  people.  They  eyed  us  askance.  This  was  getting  ex- 
citing now.  I  felt  a  professional  journalistic  interest. 
Whether  we  escaped  or  got  killed,  what  splendid  business 
for  the  Daily  Telephone  I 

The  sheikh,  of  course,  declared  it  was  impossible  to  start 
that  evening.  The  men  would  n't  move — the  camels  needed 
rest.  But  Dr.  Macloghlen  was  inexorable.  "  Very  well, 
thin,  Mr.  Sheikh,"  he  answered,  philosophically.  **  Ye  '11 
plaze  yerself  about  whether  ye  come  on  wid  us  or  whether 
ye  shtop.  That 's  j-er  own  business.  But  zve  set  out  at  sun- 
down ;  and  whin  ye  return  by  yerself  on  foot  to  Geergeh,  ye 
can  ask  for  yer  camels  at  the  British  Consulate." 

All  through  that  anxious  afternoon  we  sat  in  our  tents, 
under  the  shade  of  the  mud-wall,  wondering  whether  we 
could  carry  out  our  plan  or  not.  About  an  hour  before  sun- 
set the  veiled  woman  strolled  out  of  the  gate  with  her  two 
children.  She  joined  the  crowd  of  sight-seers  once  more,  for 
never  through  the  day  were  we  left  alone  for  a  second.  The 
excitement  grew  intense.  Elsie  and  I  moved  up  carelessly 
towards  the  group,  talking  as  if  to  one  another.  I  looked 
hard  at  Elsie,  then  I  said,  as  though  I  were  speaking  about 
one  of  the  children:  "  Go  straight  along  the  road  to  Geergeh 
till  you  are  past  the  big  clump  of  palms  at  the  edge  of  the 
oasis.  Just  beyond  it  comes  a  sharp  ridge  of  rock.  Wait 
behind  the  ridge  where  no  one  can  see  you.  When  we  get 
there,"  I  patted  the  little  girl's  head,  "  don't  say  a  word, 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  201 

but  jump  on  my  camel.  My  two  friends  will  each  take  one 
of  the  children.  If  you  understand  and  consent,  stroke  your 
boy's  curls.     We  will  accept  that  for  a  signal." 

She  stroked  the  child's  head  at  once  without  the  least 
hesitation.  Even  through  her  veil  and  behind  her  dress,  I 
could  somehow  feel  and  see  her  trembling  nerves,  her  beat- 
ing heart.  But  she  gave  no  overt  token.  She  merely  turned 
and  muttered  something  carelessly  in  Arabic  to  a  woman 
beside  her. 

We  waited  once  more,  in  long-drawn  suspense.  Would 
she  manage  to  escape  them  ?  Would  they  suspect  her 
motives  ? 

After  ten  minutes,  when  we  had  returned  to  our  croucli- 
ing-place  under  the  shadow  of  the  wall,  the  woman  detached 
herself  slowly  from  the  group,  and  began  strolling  with 
almost  overdone  nonchalance  along  the  road  to  Geergeh. 
We  could  see  the  little  girl  was  frightened  and  seemed  to 
expostulate  with  her  mother  ;  fortunately,  the  Arabs  about 
were  too  much  occupied  in  watching  the  suspicious  strangers 
to  notice  this  episode  of  their  own  people.  Presently,  our 
new  friend  disappeared  ;  and,  with  beating  hearts,  we  awaited 
the  sunset. 

Then  came  the  usual  scene  of  hubbub  with  the  sheikh,  the 
camels,  the  porters,  and  the  drivers.  It  was  eagerness  against 
apathy.  With  difficulty  we  made  them  understand  we  meant 
to  get  under  way  at  all  hazards.  I  stormed  in  bad  Arabic. 
The  Doctor  inveighed  in  very  choice  Irish.  At  last  they 
yielded  and  set  out.  One  by  one  the  camels  rose,  bent  their 
slow  knees,  and  began  to  stalk  in  their  lordly  way  with  out- 
stretched necks  along  the  road  to  the  river.  We  moved 
through  the  palm-groves,  a  crowd  of  boys  following  us  and 


202 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


shouting  for  backsheesh.  We  began  to  be  afraid  they  would 
accompany  us  too  far  and  discover  our  fugitive  ;  but  fortun- 
ately they  all  turned  back  with  one  accord  at  a  little  white- 
washed shrine  near  the  edge  of  the  oasis.  We  reached  the 
clump  of  palms  ;  we  turned  the  corner  of  the  ridge.  Had 
we  missed  one  another  ?     No  !     There,  crouching  by  t  le 


CROUCHING   BY  TME   ROCKS   SAT   OUR   MYSTKRIOUS  STRANC.KR. 

rocks,  with  her  children  by  her  side,  sat  our  mysterious 
stranger. 

The  Doctor  was  equal  to  the  emergency.  "  Make  those 
bastes  kneel  !  "  he  cried  authoritatively  to  the  sheikh. 

The  sheikh  was  taken  aback.  This  was  a  new  exploit 
burst  upon  him.  He  flung  his  arms  up,  gesticulating  wildly. 
The  Doctor,  unmoved,  made  the  drivers  understand  by  some 
strange  pantomime  what  he  wanted.     They  nodded,  half 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  203 

terrified.  In  a  second,  the  stranger  was  by  my  side,  Elsie 
had  taken  the  girl,  the  Doctor  the  boy,  and  the  camels  were 
passively  beginning  to  rise  again.  That  is  the  best  of  yonr 
camel.     Once  set  him  on  his  road,  and  he  goes  mechanically. 

The  sheikh  broke  out  with  several  loud  remarks  in  Arabic, 
which  we  did  not  understand,  but  whose  hostile  character 
could  not  easily  escape  us.  He  was  beside  himself  with 
anger.  Then  I  was  suddenly  aware  of  the  splendid  ad- 
vantage of  having  an  Irishman  on  our  side.  Dr.  Macloghlen 
drew  his  revolver,  like  one  well  used  to  such  episodes,  and 
pointed  it  full  at  the  angry  Arab.  "  Look  here,  Mr. 
Sheikh,"  he  said,  calmly,  yet  with  a  fine  touch  of  bravado  ; 
"  do  ye  see  this  revolver  ?  Well,  unless  ye  make  j'er  camels 
thravel  shtraight  to  Geergeh  widout  wan  other  wurrud,  't  is 
yer  own  brains  will  be  .spattered,  sor,  on  the  sand  of  this 
desert  !  And  if  ye  touch  wan  hair  of  our  heads,  ye  '11  answer 
for  it  wid  yer  life  to  the  British  Government." 

I  do  not  feel  sure  that  the  sheikh  comprehended  the  exact 
nature  of  each  word  in  this  comprehensive  threat,  but  I  am 
certain  he  took  in  its  general  meaning,  punctuated  as  it  was 
with  some  flourishes  of  the  revolver.  He  turned  to  the 
drivers  and  made  a  gesture  of  despair.  It  meant,  apparently, 
that  this  infidel  was  too  much  for  him.  Then  he  called  out 
a  few  sharp  directions  in  Arabic.  Next  miiuite,  our  camels' 
legs  were  stepping  out  briskly  along  the  road  to  Geergeh  with 
a  promptitude  which  I  'm  sure  must  have  astoni.shed  their 
owners.  We  rode  on  and  on  through  the  gloom  in  a  fever 
of  suspen.se.  Had  any  of  the  Senoosis  noticed  our  presence  ? 
Would  they  miss  the  chief's  wife  before  long,  and  follow  us 
under  arms  ?  Would  our  own  sheikh  betray  us  ?  I  am  no 
coward,  as  women  go,  but  I  confess,  if  it  had  not  been  for 


204  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

our  fiery  Irishman,  I  should  have  felt  my  heart  sink.  We 
were  grateful  to  him  for  the  reckless  and  good-humoured 
courage  of  the  untamed  Celt.  It  kept  us  from  giving  way. 
"  Ye  '11  take  notice,  Mr.  Sheikh,"  he  said,  as  we  threaded 
our  way  among  the  moon-lit  rocks,  "  that  I  have  twinty-wan 
cartridges  in  me  case  for  me  revolver  ;  and  that  if  there  's 
throuble  to-night,  't  is  twinty  of  them  there  '11  be  for  your 
frinds  the  Senoosis,  and  wan  for  yerself ;  but  for  fear  of  dis- 
appointing a  gintleman,  't  is  yer  own  special  bullet  I  '11  dis- 
thribute  first,  if  it  comes  to  fighting." 

The  sheikh's  English  was  a  vanishing  quantity,  but  to 
judge  by  the  way  he  nodded  and  salaamed  at  this  playful 
remark,  I  am  convinced  he  understood  the  Doctor's  Irish 
quite  as  well  as  I  did. 

We  spoke  little  by  the  way;  we  were  all  far  too  frightened, 
except  the  Doctor,  who  kept  our  hearts  up  by  a  running  fire 
of  wild  Celtic  humour.  But  I  found  time  meanwhile  to 
learn  by  a  few  questions  from  our  veiled  friend  something 
of  her  captivity.  She  had  seen  her  father  massacred  before 
her  eyes  at  Khartoum,  and  had  then  been  sold  away  to  a 
merchant,  who  conveyed  her  by  degrees  and  by  various  ex- 
changes across  the  desert  through  lonely  spots  to  the  Senoosi 
oasis.  There  she  had  lived  all  those  years  with  the  chief  to 
whom  her  last  purchaser  had  trafficked  her.  She  did  not 
even  know  that  her  husband's  village  was  an  integral  part 
of  the  Khedive's  territory  ;  far  less  that  the  English  were 
now  in  practical  occupation  of  Egypt.  She  had  heard  no- 
thing and  learnt  nothing  since  that  fateful  day  ;  she  had 
waited  in  vain  for  the  off-chance  of  a  deliverer. 

"  But  did  you  never  try  to  run  away  to  the  Nile?  "  I 
cried,  astonished. 


The  Unobtrusive  Oasis  205 

**  Run  away  ?  How  could  I  ?  I  did  not  even  know  which 
way  the  river  lay  ;  and  was  it  possible  for  me  to  cross  the 
desert  on  foot,  or  find  the  chance  of  a  camel  ?  The  Senoosis 
would  have  killed  me.  Even  with  you  to  help  me,  see  what 
dangers  surround  me  ;  alone,  I  should  have  perished,  like 
Hagar  in  the  wilderness,  with  no  angel  to  save  me." 

"  An'  ye  've  got  the  angel  now,"  Dr.  Macloghlen  ex- 
claimed, glancing  at  me.  "Steady,  there,  Mr.  Sheikh. 
What  's  this  that  's  coming  ?  " 

It  was  another  caravan,  going  the  opposite  way,  on  its 
road  to  the  oasis  !     A  voice  halloaed  from  it. 

Our  new  friend  clung  tightly  to  me.  "  My  husband !  "  she 
whispered,  gasping. 

They  were  still  far  off  on  the  desert,  and  the  moon  shone 
bright.  A  few  hurried  words  to  the  Doctor,  and  with  a  wild 
resolve  we  faced  the  emergencj'.  He  made  the  camels  halt, 
and  all  of  us,  springing  off,  crouched  down  behind  their 
shadows  in  such  a  way  that  the  coming  caravan  must  pass 
on  the  far  side  of  us.  At  the  same  moment  the  Doctor 
turned  resolutely  to  the  sheikh.  "  Look  here,  Mr.  Arab," 
he  said  in  a  quiet  voice,  with  one  more  appeal  to  the  simple 
Volapuk  of  the  pointed  revolver  ;  "I  cover  ye  wid  this. 
lyCt  these  frinds  of  yours  go  by.  If  there  's  anny  unneces- 
sary talking  betwixt  ye,  or  anny  throuble  of  anny  kind,  re- 
number, the  first  bullet  goes  sthraight  as  an  arrow  t' rough 
that  hay  then  head  of  yours  !  " 

The  sheikh  salaamed  more  submissively  than  ever. 

The  caravan  drew  abreast  of  us.  We  could  hear  them  cry 
aloud  on  either  side  the  customary  salutes  :  "In  Allah's 
name,  peace  !  "  answered  by  "  Allah  is  great  ;  there  is  no 
god  but  Allah." 


2o6  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

Would  anything  more  happen  ?  Would  our  sheikh  play 
us  fiilse  ?  It  was  a  moment  of  breathlessness.  We  crouched 
and  cowered  in  the  shade,  holding  our  hearts  with  fear, 
while  the  Arab  drivers  pretended  to  be  unsaddling  the 
camels.  A  minute  or  two  of  anxious  suspense  ;  then,  peer- 
ing over  our  beasts'  backs,  we  saw  their  long  line  filing  off 
towards  the  oasis.  We  watched  their  turbaned  heads,  sil- 
houetted against  the  sky,  disappear  slowly.  One  by  one 
they  faded  away.  The  danger  was  past.  With  beating 
hearts  we  rose  up  again. 

The  Doctor  sprang  into  his  place  and  seated  himself  on  his 
camel.  "  Now  ride  on,  Mr.  Sheikh,"  he  said,  "  wid  all  yer 
men,  as  if  grim  death  was  afther  ye.  Camels  or  no  camels, 
ye  've  got  to  march  all  night,  for  ye  '11  never  draw  rein  till 
we  're  safe  back  at  Geergeh  !  " 

And  sure  enough  v^^e  never  halted,  under  the  persuasive 
influence  of  that  loaded  revolver,  till  we  dismounted  once 
more  in  the  early  dawn  upon  the  Nile  bank,  under  British 
protection. 

Then  Elsie  and  I  and  our  rescued  countrywoman  broke 
down  together  in  an  orgy  of  relief.  We  hugged  one  another 
and  cried  like  so  many  children. 


CHAPTER  VIII 


THE   ADVENTURE  OF  THE   PEA-GREEN   PATRICIAN 


AWAY  to  India  !     A  life  on  the  ocean  wave  once  more  ; 
and — may  it  prove  less  wavy  ! 

In  plain  prose,  my  arrangement  with  "  my  pro- 
prietor," Mr.  El  worthy  (thus  we  speak  in  the  newspaper 
trade),  included  a  trip  to  Bombay  for  myself  and  Elsie.  So, 
as  soon  as  we  had  drained  Upper  Egypt  journalistically  dry, 
we  returned  to  Cairo  on  our  road  to  Suez.  I  am  glad  to 
say,  my  letters  to  the  Daily  Telephone  gave  satisfaction.  My 
employer  wrote,  "  You  are  a  born  journalist."  I  confess 
this  surprised  me  ;  for  I  have  always  considered  myself  a 
truthful  person.  Still,  as  he  evidently  meant  it  for  praise,  I 
took  the  doubtful  compliment  in  good  part,  and  offered  no 
remonstrance. 

I  have  a  mercurial  temperament.  My  spirits  rise  and  fall 
as  if  they  were  Consols.  Monotonous  Egypt  depressed  nie, 
as  it  depressed  the  Israelites  ;  but  the  passage  of  the  Red 
Sea  set  me  sounding  my  timbrel.  I  love  fresh  air  ;  I  love 
the  sea,  if  the  sea  will  but  behave  itself;  and  I  positively 
revelled  in  the  change  from  Egypt. 

Unfortunately,  we  had  taken  our  passages  by  a  P.  and  O. 
steamer  from  Suez  to  Bombay  many  weeks  beforehand,  so 

207 


2o8  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

as  to  secure  good  berths  ;  and  still  more  unfortunatelj',  in  a 
letter  to  Lady  Georgina,  I  had  chanced  to  mention  the  name 
of  our  ship  and  the  date  of  the  voyage.  I  kept  up  a  spas- 
modic correspondence  with  Lady  Georgina  nowadays — 
tuppence-ha'penny  a  fortnight  ;  the  dear,  cantankerous, 
racy,  old  lady  had  been  the  foundation  of  my  fortunes,  and  I 
was  genuinely  grateful  to  her  ;  or,  rather,  I  ought  to  say, 
she  had  been  their  second  foundress,  for  I  will  do  myself  the 
justice  to  admit  that  the  first  was  my  own  initiative  and 
enterprise,  I  flatter  myself  I  have  the  knack  of  taking  the 
tide  on  the  turn,  and  I  am  justly  proud  of  it.  But,  being  a 
grateful  animal,  I  wrote  once  a  fortnight  to  report  progress 
to  Lady  Georgina.  Besides — let  me  whisper — strictly  be- 
tween ourselves — 't  was  an  indirect  way  of  hearing  about 
Harold. 

This  time,  however,  as  events  turned  out,  I  recognised  that 
I  had  made  a  grave  mistake  in  confiding  my  movements  to 
my  shrewd  old  lady.  She  did  not  betray  me  on  purpose,  of 
course  ;  but  I  gathered  later  that  casually  in  conversation 
she  must  have  mentioned  the  fact  and  date  of  my  sailing  be- 
fore somebody  who  ought  to  have  had  no  concern  in  it ;  and 
the  somebody,  I  found,  had  governed  himself  accordingly. 
All  this,  however,  I  only  discovered  afterwards.  So,  with- 
out anticipating,  I  will  narrate  the  facts  exactly  as  they  oc- 
curred to  me. 

When  we  mounted  the  gangway  of  the  Jumna  at  Suez, 
and  began  the  process  of  frizzling  down  the  Red  Sea,  I  noted 
on  deck  almost  at  once  an  odd-looking  young  man  of  twenty- 
two  or  thereabouts,  with  a  curious,  faint,  pea-green  com- 
plexion. He  was  the  wishy-washiest  young  man  I  ever 
beheld  in  my  life  ;  an  achromatic  study  ;    in  spite  of   the 


.jk 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician 


209 


delicate  pea-greenitiess  of  his  skin,  all  the  colouring  matter 
of  the  body  seemed  somehow  to  have  faded  out  of  him. 
Perhaps  he  had  been  bleached.  As  he  leant  over  the  taff- 
rail,  gazing  down 
with  open  mouth 
and  vacant  stare  at 
the  water,  I  took  a 
good,  long  look  at 
him.  He  interested 
me  much  —  because 
he  was  so  exception- 
ally uninteresting  ;  a 
pallid,  anaemic,  in- 
definite hobble- 
dehoy, with  a  high, 
narrow  forehead, 
and  sketchy  f  e  a  t  - 
ures.  He  had  wa- 
tery, restless  eyes  of 
an  insipid  light  blue; 
thin,  yellow  hair,  al- 
most white  in  its 
paleness;  and 
twitching  hands  that 
played  nervously  all 
t  h  e  t  i  m  e  w  i  t  h  a 
shadowy  moustache.  This  shadowy  moustache  seemed  to 
absorb,  as  a  rule,  the  best  part  of  his  attention  ;  it  was  so 
sparse  and  so  blanched  that  he  felt  it  continually— to  assure 
himself,  no  doubt,  of  the  reality  of  its  existence.  I  need 
hardly  add  that  he  wore  an  eye-glass. 

»4 


AN  ODD-LOOKING   YOUNG  MAN, 


2IO  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

He  was  an  aristocrat,  I  felt  sure  ;  Rton  and  Christ  Church; 
no  ordinary  person  could  have  been  quite  so  flavourless. 
Imbecility  like  his  is  only  to  be  attained  as  the  result  of  long 
and  judicious  selection. 

He  went  on  gazing  in  a  vacant  way  at  the  water  below,  an 
ineffectual  patrician  smile  playing  feebly  round  the  corners 
of  his  mouth  meanwhile.  Then  he  turned  and  stared  at  me 
as  I  lay  back  in  my  deck-chair.  For  a  minute  he  looked  me 
over  as  if  I  were  a  horsii  for  sale.  When  he  had  finished  in- 
specting me,  he  beckoned  to  somebody  at  the  far  end  of  the 
quarter-deck. 

The  somebody  sidled  up  with  a  deferential  air  which  con- 
firmed my  belief  in  the  pea-green  young  man's  aristocratic 
origin.  It  was  such  deference  as  the  British  flunkey  pays 
only  to  blue  blood  ;  for  he  has  gradations  of  flunkeydom. 
He  is  respectful  to  wealth  ;  polite  to  acquired  rank  ;  but 
servile  onl}^  to  hereditary  nobility.  Indeed,  you  can  make 
a  rough  guess  at  the  social  status  of  the  person  he  addresses 
by  observing  which  one  of  his  twenty-seven  nicely  graduated 
manners  he  adopts  in  addressing  him. 

The  pea-green  young  man  glanced  over  in  my  direction, 
and  murmured  something  to  the  satellite,  whose  back  was 
turned  towards  me.  I  felt  sure,  from  his  attitude,  he  was 
asking  whether  I  was  the  person  he  suspected  me  to  be.  The 
satellite  nodded  assent,  whereat  the  pea-green  young  man, 
screwing  up  his  face  to  fix  his  eye-glass,  stared  harder  than 
ever.  He  must  be  heir  to  a  peerage,  I  felt  convinced  ;  no- 
body short  of  that  rank  would  consider  himself  entitled  to 
stare  with  such  frank  unconcern  at  an  unknown  lady. 

Presently  it  further  occurred  to  me  that  the  satellite's  back 
seemed  strangel}-  familiar.     "  I  have  seen  that  man  some- 


The  Pca-Grccn  Patrician  2 1 1 

where,  Elsie,"  I  whispered,  putting  aside  the  wisps  of  hair 
that  blew  about  my  face. 

"  So  have  I,  dear,"  Elsie  answered,  with  a  slight  shudder. 
And  I  was  instinctively  aware  that  I  too  disliked  him. 

As  Elsie  spoke,  the  man  turned,  and  strolled  slowly  past 
us,  with  that  ineffable  insolence  which  is  the  other  side  of 
the  flunkey's  insufferable  self-abasement.  He  cast  a  glance 
at  us  as  he  went  by,  a  withering  glance  of  brazen  effrontery. 
We  knew  him,  of  course  ;  it  was  that  variable  star,  our  old 
acquaintance,  Mr.  Higginson,  the  courier. 

He  was  here  as  himself  this  time  ;  no  longer  the  count  or 
the  mysterious  faith-healer.  The  diplomat  hid  his  rays 
under  the  garb  of  the  man-servant. 

"  Depend  upon  it,  Elsie,"  I  cried,  clutching  her  arm  with 
a  vague  sense  of  fear,  "  this  man  means  mischief.  There  is 
danger  ahead.  When  a  creature  of  Higginson's  sort,  who 
has  risen  to  be  a  count  and  a  fashionable  physician,  descends 
again  to  be  a  courier,  you  may,  rest  assured  it  is  because  he 
has  somethintr  to  gain  by  it.  He  has  some  deep  scheme 
afloat.     And  7f v  are  part  of  it." 

"  His  m3*-;ter  looks  weak  enough  and  silly  enough  for  any- 
thing," Elsie  answered,  eying  the  suspected  lordling.  "  I 
should  think  he  is  just  the  sort  of  man  such  a  wily  rogue 
would  naturally  fasten  upon." 

"  When  a  wily  rogue  gets  hold  of  a  weak  fool,  who  is  also 
dishonest,"  I  said,  "  the  two  together  may  make  a  formid- 
able combination.  But  never  mind.  We  're  forewarned. 
I  think  I  shall  be  even  with  him." 

That  evening,  at  dinner  in  the  saloon,  the  pea-green 
young  man  strolled  in  with  a  jaunty  air  and  took  his  seat 
next  to  us.     The  Red  Sea,  by  the  way,  was  kinder  than  the 


212  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

Mediterranean  ;  it  allowed  us  to  dine  from  the  very  first 
evening.  Cards  had  been  laid  on  the  plates  to  mark  our 
places.  I  glanced  at  my  neighbour's.  It  bore  the  inscrip- 
tion, "  Viscount  Southminster." 

That  was  the  name  of  Lord  Kynaston's  eldest  son — Lady 
Georgina's  nephew  ;  Harold  Tillington's  cousin  !  So  this 
was  the  man  who  might  possibly  inherit  Mr.  Marmaduke 
Ashurst's  money  !  I  remembered  now  how  often  and  how 
fervently  Lady  Georgina  had  said,  "  Kynaston's  sons  are  all 
fools."  If  the  rest  came  up  to  sample,  I  was  inclined  to 
agree  with  her. 

It  also  flashed  across  me  that  Lord  Southminster  nn'ght 
have  heard  through  Higginson  of  our  meeting  with  Mr. 
Marmaduke  Ashurst  at  Florence,  and  of  my  acquaintance 
with  Harold  Tillington  at  Schlangenbad  and  Lungern. 
With  a  woman's  instinct,  I  jumped  at  the  fact  that  the  pea- 
green  young  man  had  taken  passage  by  this  boat,  on  pur- 
pose to  baffle  both  me  and  Harold. 

Thinking  it  over,  it  seemed  to  me,  too,  that  he  might  have 
various  possible  points  of  view  on  the  matter.  He  might 
desire,  for  example,  that  Harold  should  marry  me,  under  the 
impression  that  his  marriage  with  a  penniless  outsider  would 
annoy  his  uncle  ;  for  the  pea-green  young  man  doubtless 
thought  that  I  was  still  to  Mr.  Ashurst  just  that  dreadful 
adventuress.  If  so,  his  obvious  cue  would  be  to  promote  a 
good  understanding  between  Harold  and  myself,  in  order  to 
make  us  marry,  so  that  the  Urbane  Old  Gentleman  might 
then  disinherit  his  favourite  nephew,  and  make  a  new  will  in 
Lord  SoLLliiJ,'  oter's  interest.  Or,  again,  the  pea-green 
young  man  migUt,  on  the  contrary,  be  aware  that  Mr. 
Ashurst  and  I  had  got  on  admirably  together  when  we  met 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  213 

at  Florence  ;  in  which  case  his  aim  would  naturally  be  to 
find  out  something  that  might  set  the  rich  uncle  against  me. 
Yet  once  more,  he  might  merely  have  heard  that  I  had 
drawn  up  Uncle  Marmaduke's  will  at  the  office,  and  he  might 
desire  to  worm  the  contents  of  it  out  of  me.  Whichever  was 
his  design,  I  resolved  to  be  upon  my  guard  in  every  word  I 
said  to  him,  and  leave  no  door  open  to  any  trickery  either 
way.  For  of  one  thing  I  felt  sure,  that  the  colourless  young 
man  had  torn  himself  away  from  the  mud-honey  of  Piccadilly 
for  this  voyage  to  India  only  because  he  had  heard  there  was 
a  chance  of  meeting  me. 

That  was  a  politic  move,  whoever  planned  it — himself  or 
Higginson  ;  for  a  week  on  board  ship  with  a  person  or  per- 
sons is  the  very  best  chance  of  getting  thrown  in  with  them  ; 
whether  they  like  it  or  lump  it,  they  can't  easily  avoid 
you. 

It  was  while  I  was  pondering  these  things  in  my  mind, 
and  resolving  with  myself  not  to  give  my.self  away,  that  the 
young  man  with  the  pea-green  face  lounged  in  and  dropped 
into  the  next  seat  to  me.  He  was  dressed  (amongst  other 
things)  in  a  dinner  jacket  and  a  white  tie  ;  for  myself,  I  de- 
test such  fopperies  on  board  ship  ;  they  seem  to  me  out  of 
place  ;  they  conflict  with  the  infinite  possibilities  of  the  situ- 
ation. One  stands  too  near  the  realities  of  things.  Evening 
dress  and  mal-dc-vier  sort  ill  together. 

As  my  neighbour  sat  down,  he  turned  to  rtic  with  an 
inane  smile  which  occupied  all  his  face.  "  Good  evening," 
he  said,  in  a  baronial  drawl.  "  Miss  Cayley,  I  gathah  ?  I 
asked  the  skippah's  leave  to  sit  next  yah.  We  ought  to  be 
friends — rathah.  I  think  yah  know  my  poor  deali  old  aunt, 
Lady  Georgina  Fawley." 


214 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


I  bowed  a  somewhat  freezing  bow.  "  Lady  Georgina  is 
one  cf  my  dearest  friends,"  I  answered. 

"  No,  reahliy  ?  Poor  deah  old  Georgey  !  Got  somebody 
to  stick  up  for  her  at  last,  has  she  ?  Now  that 's  what  I  call 
chivalrous  of  yah.  Magnanimous,  is  n't  it?  I  like  to  see 
people  stick  up  for  their  friends.  And  it  must  be  a  novelty 
for  George3\     For  between  you  and  me,  a  moah  cantanker- 


^^^6r> 


ckr'^i 


HE   TURNED   TO  ME   Wmt    AN   INANE   SMILE. 


ous,  spiteful,  acidulated,  old  cough-drop  than  the  poor  deah 
soul  it  'ud  be  difficult  to  hit  upon." 

"  Lady  Georgina  has  brains,"  I  answered  ;  "  and  they 
enable  her  to  recognise  a  fool  when  she  sees  him.  I  will 
admit  that  she  does  not  suffer  fools  gladly." 

He  turned  to  me  with  a  sudden  sharp  look  in  the  depths 
of  the  lack-lustre  eyes.  Already  it  began  to  strike  me  that, 
though  the  pea-green  young  man  was  inane,  he  had  his  due 
proportion  of  a  certain  in.sidious  practical  cunning.  "  That 's 
true,"  he  answered,  measuring  me.  "  And  according  to  her, 
almost  everybody  's  a  fool — especially  her  relations.    There  's 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  215 

a  fine  knack  of  sweeping  generalisation  about  deah,  skinny 
old  Georgey.  The  few  people  she  reahlly  likes  are  all  arch- 
angels ;  the  rest  are  blithering  idiots  ;  there  's  no  middle 
course  with  her." 

I  held  my  peace  frigidly. 

"  She  thinks  me  a  very  special  and  peculiah  fool,"  he 
went  on,  crumbling  his  bread. 

"  Lady  Georgina,"  I  answered,  "is  a  person  of  excep- 
tional discrimination.  I  would  almost  always  accept  her 
judgment  on  anyone  as  practically  final." 

He  laid  down  his  soup-spoon,  fondled  the  imperceptible 
moustache  with  his  tapering  fingers,  and  then  broke  once 
more  into  a  cheerful  expanse  of  smile  which  reminded  me 
of  nothing  so  much  as  of  the  village  idiot.  It  spread  over 
his  face  as  the  splash  from  a  stone  spreads  over  a  millpond. 
"  Now  that 's  a  nice,  cheerful  sort  of  thing  to  say  to  a  fellah," 
he  ejaculated,  fixing  his  eye-glass  in  his  eye,  with  a  few 
fierce  contortions  of  his  facial  muscles.  "  That  's  encourag- 
ing, don't  yah  know,  as  the  foundation  of  an  acquaintance. 
Makes  a  good  cornah-stone.  Calculated  to  place  things  at 
once  upon  what  yah  call  a  friendly  basis.  Georgey  said  you 
had  a  pretty  wit  ;  I  see  now  why  she  admiahed  it.  Birds  of 
a  feathah  :  very  wise  old  proverb." 

I  reflected  that,  after  all,  this  young  man  had  nothijig 
overt  against  him,  beyond  a  fishy  blue  eye  and  an  inane  ex- 
pression ;  so,  feeling  that  I  had  perhaps  gone  a  little  too  far, 
I  continued,  after  a  minute,  "  And  your  uncle,  how  is 
he?" 

"  Manny  ?  "  he  enquired,  with  another  elephantine  smile  ; 
and  then  I  perceived  it  was  a  form  of  humour  with  him  (or 
rather  a  cheap  substitute)  to  speak  of  his  elder  relations  by 


2i6  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

their  abbreviated  Christian  names,  without  any  prefix. 
"  Marmy  's  doing  very  well,  thank  yah  ;  as  well  as  could  be 
expected.  In  fact,  bettah.  Habakkuk  on  the  brain  ;  it  's 
carrying  him  off  at  last.  He  has  Bright's  disease  very  bad — 
drank  port,  don't  yah  know — and  won't  trouble  this  wicked 
world  much  longah  with  his  presence.  It  will  be  a  happy 
release — especially  for  his  nephews." 

I  was  really  grieved,  for  I  had  grown  to  like  the  Urbane  Old 
Gentleman,  as  I  had  grown  to  like  the  Cantankerous  Old  I/ady. 
In  spite  of  his  fussiness  and  his  Stock  Exchange  views  on 
the  interpretation  of  Scripture,  his  genuine  kindliness  and 
his  real  liking  for  me  had  softened  my  heart  to  him  ;  and  my 
face  must  have  shown  my  distress,  for  the  pea-green  young 
man  added  quickly  with  an  afterthought  :  "  But  j'Oit  need  n't 
be  afraid,  yah  know.  It  's  all  right  for  Harold  Tillington. 
You  ought  to  know  that  as  well  as  anyone — and  bettah  ;  for 
it  was  you  who  drew  up  his  will  for  him  at  Florence." 

I  flushed  crimson,  I  believe.  Then  he  knew  all  about  me  ! 
"  I  was  not  asking  on  Mr.  Tillington' s  account,"  I  answered. 
' '  I  asked  because  I  have  a  personal  feeling  of  friendship  for 
your  uncle,  Mr.  Ashurst." 

His  hand  strayed  up  to  the  straggling  yellow  hairs  on  his 
upper  lip  once  more,  and  he  smiled  again,  this  time  with  a 
curious  undercurrent  of  foolish  craftiness.  "  That  's  a  good 
one,"  he  answered.  "  Georgey  told  me  you  were  original. 
Marmy  's  a  millionaire,  and  many  people  love  millionaires 
for  their  money.  But  to  love  Marmy  for  himself — I  do  call 
that  originality  !  Why,  weight  for  age,  he  's  acknowledged 
to  be  the  most  portentous  old  boah  in  London  society  !  " 

"  I  like  Mr.  Ashurst  because  he  has  a  kind  heart  and  some 
genuine  instincts,"  I  answered.     "  He  has  not  allowed  all 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  217 

human  feeling  to  be  replaced  by  a  cheap  mask  of  Pall  Mall 
cynicism." 

"  Oh,  I  say;  how  's  that  for  preaching  ?  Don't  you  man- 
age to  give  it  hot  to  a  fellah,  neithah!  And  at  sight,  too, 
without  the  usual  three  days  of  grace.  Have  some  of  my 
champagne  ?     I  'm  a  forgiving  creachah." 

"  No,  thank  you.     I  prefer  this  hock." 

**  Your  friend,  then  ?  "  And  he  motioned  the  steward  to 
pass  the  bottle. 

To  my  great  disgust,  Elsie  held  out  her  glass.  I  was 
annoyed  at  that.  It  showed  she  had  missed  the  drift  of  our 
conversation,  and  was  therefore  lacking  in  feminine  intuition, 
I  should  be  sorry  if  I  had  allowed  the  higher  mathematics 
to  kill  out  in  me  the  most  distinctively  womanly  faculty. 

From  that  first  day  forth,  however,  in  spite  of  this  begin- 
ning, Lord  Southminster  almost  persecuted  me  with  his  per- 
sistent attentions.  He  did  all  a  man  could  possibly  do  to 
please  me.  I  could  not  make  out  precisely  what  he  was 
driving  at  ;  but  I  saw  he  had  some  artful  game  of  his  own 
to  play,  and  that  he  was  playing  it  subtly.  I  also  saw  that, 
vapid  as  he  was,  his  vapidity  did  not  prevent  him  from  being 
worldly  wise  with  the  wisdom  of  the  self-seeking  man  of  the 
world,  who  utterly  distrusts  and  disbelieves  in  all  the  higher 
emotions  of  humanity.  He  harped  so  often  on  this  string 
that  on  our  second  day  out,  as  we  lolled  on  deck  in  the  heat, 
I  had  to  rebuke  him  sharply.  He  had  been  sneering  for 
some  hours.  "  There  are  two  kinds  of  silly  simplicity,  Lord 
Southminster,"  I  said,  at  last.  "  One  kind  is  the  silly 
simplicity  of  the  rustic  who  trusts  everybody  ;  the  other 
kind  is  the  silly  simplicity  of  the  Pall  Mall  clubman  who 
trusts  nobody.     It  is  just  as  foolish  and  just  as  one-sided  to 


2i8  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

overlook  the  good  as  to  overlook  the  evil  in  humanity.  If 
you  trust  everyone,  you  are  likely  to  be  taken  in  ;  but  if  you 
trust  no  one,  you  put  yourself  at  a  serious  practical  disad- 
vantage, besides  losing  half  the  joy  of  living." 

"  Then  you  think  me  a  fool,  like  Georgey  ?  "  he  broke 
out. 

"  I  should  never  be  rude  enough  to  say  so,"  I  answered, 
fanning  myself. 

"  Well,  you  're  what  I  call  a  first-rate  companion  for  a 
voyage  down  the  Red  Sea,"  he  put  in,  gazing  abstractedly 
at  the  awnings.  "  Such  a  lovely,  freezing  mixture  !  A 
fellah  does  n't  need  ices  when  you  're  on  tap.  I  recommend 
you  as  a  refrigeratah." 

"  I  am  glad,"  I  answered  demurely,  "  if  I  have  secured 
your  approbation  in  that  humble  capacity.  I  am  sure  I  have 
tried  hard  for  it." 

Yet  nothing  that  I  could  say  seemed  to  put  the  man  down. 
In  spite  of  rebuffs,  he  was  assiduous  in  running  down  the 
companion-ladder  for  my  parasol  or  my  smelling-bottle  ;  he 
fetched  me  chairs  ;  he  stayed  me  with  cushions  ;  he  offered 
to  lend  me  books  ;  he  pestered  me  to  drink  his  wine  ;  and  he 
kept  Elsie  in  champagne,  which  she  annoyed  me  by  accept- 
ing. Poor  dear  Elsie  clearly  failed  to  understand  the  crea- 
ture. "  He  's  so  kind  and  polite,  Brownie,  is  n't  he  ?  "  she 
would  observe  in  her  simple  fashion.  "  Do  you  know,  I 
think  he  's  taken  quite  a  fancy  to  you  !  And  he  '11  be  an 
earl  by-and-by.  I  call  it  romantic.  How  lovely  it  would 
seem,  dear,  to  see  you  a  countess  !  " 

"  Elsie,"  I  said,  .severely,  with  one  hand  on  her  arm, 
"  you  are  a  dear  little  soul,  and  I  am  very  fond  of  you  ;  but 
if  you  think  I  could  sell  myself  for  a  coronet  to  a  pasty-faced 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician 


219 


young  man  with  a  pea-green  complexion  and  glassy  blue 
eyes — I  can  only  say,  my  child,  you  have  misread  my  char- 
acter.    He  is  n't  a  man  ;  he  's  a  lump  of  putty  !  " 

I  think  Rlsie  was  quite  shocked  that  I  should  apply  these 
terms  to  a  courtesy  lord,  the  eldest  son  of  a  peer.     Nature 


NOTHIN')   SF.F.MF.P   TO   VVT  THE 
MAN   DOWN. 


had  endowed  her  with  the  profound  British  belief  that  peers 
should  be  spoken  of  in  choice  and  peculiar  language.  "  If  a 
peer  's  a  fool,"  Lady  Georgina  said  once  to  me,  *'  people 
think  you  should  say  his  temperament  does  not  fit  him  for 
the  conduct  of  affairs  ;  if  he  's  a  rou6  or  a  drunkard,  they 
think  you  should  say  he  has  unfortunate  weaknesses." 

What  most  of  all  convinced  me,  however,  that  the  wishy- 
washy  young  man  with  the  pea-green  complexion  must  be 


220  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

playing  some  stealthy  game,  was  the  demeanour  and  mental 
attitude  of  Mr.  Higginson,  his  courier.  After  the  first  day, 
Higginson  appeared  to  be  politeness  and  deference  itself  to 
us.  He  behaved  to  us  both,  almost  as  if  we  belonged  to  the 
titled  classes.  He  treated  us  with  the  second  best  of  his 
twenty-seven  graduated  manners.  He  fetched  and  carried 
for  us  with  a  courtly  grace  which  recalled  that  distinguished 
diplomat,  the  Comte  de  Laroche-sur-Loiret,  at  the  station  at 
Malines  with  Lady  Georgina.  It  is  true,  at  his  politest 
moments,  I  often  caught  the  undercurrent  of  a  wicked 
twinkle  in  his  eye,  and  felt  sure  he  was  doing  it  all  with 
some  profound  motiv^e.  But  his  external  demeanour  was 
everything  that  one  could  desire  from  a  well-trained  man- 
servant ;  I  could  hardly  believe  it  was  the  same  man  who 
had  growled  to  me  at  Florence,  "  I  shall  be  even  with  yow 
yet,"  as  he  left  our  office. 

"  Do  you  know,  Brownie,"  Elsie  mused  once,  "  I  really 
begin  to  think  we  must  have  misjudged  Higginson.  He  's 
so  extremely  polite.  Perhaps,  after  all,  he  is  really  a  count, 
who  has  been  exiled  and  impoverished  for  his  political 
opinions." 

I  smiled,  and  held  my  tongue.  Silence  costs  nothing. 
But  Mr.  Higginson's  political  opinions,  I  felt  sure,  were  of 
that  simple  communistic  sort  which  the  law  in  its  blunt  way 
calls  fraudulent.  They  consisted  in  a  belief  that  all  was  his 
which  he  could  lay  his  hands  on. 

"  Higginson  's  a  splendid  fellow  for  his  place,  yah  know. 
Miss  Cayley,"  Lord  Southminster  said  to  me  one  ev^ening  as 
we  were  approaching  Aden.  "  What  I  like  about  him  is, 
he  's  so  doosid  intelligent." 

"  Extremely  so,"   I  answered.     Then  the  devil  entered 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  221 

into  me  again.  "  He  had  the  doosid  intelligence  even  to 
take  in  Lady  Georgina." 

"  Yaas  ;  that  's  just  it,  don't  you  know.  .  Georgey  told 
me  that  story.  Screamingly  funny,  was  n't  it  ?  And  I  said 
to  myself  at  once,  '  Higginson  's  the  man  for  me.  I  want  a 
courier  with  jolly  lots  of  brains  and  no  blooming  scruples. 
I  '11  entice  this  chap  away  from  Marmy.'  And  I  did.  I 
outbid  Marmy.  Oh,  yaas,  he  's  a  first-rate  fellah,  Higgin- 
son. What  /  want  is  a  man  who  will  do  what  he  's  told, 
and  ask  no  beastly  unpleasant  questions.  Higginson  is  that 
man.     He 's  as  sharp  as  a  ferret." 

"  And  as  dishonest  as  they  make  them." 

He  opened  his  hands  with  a  gesture  of  unconcern.  "  All 
the  bettah  for  my  purpose.  See  how  frank  I  am,  Miss 
Cayley.  I  tell  the  truth.  The  truth  is  very  rare.  You 
ought  to  respect  me  for  it." 

"  It  depends  somewhat  upon  the  kind  of  truth,"  I  an- 
swered, with  a  random  shot.  "  I  don't  respect  a  man,  for 
instance,  for  confessing  to  a  forgery." 

He  winced.  Not  for  months  after  did  I  know  how  a  stone 
thrown  at  a  venture  had  chanced  to  hit  the  spot,  and  had 
vastly  enhanced  his  opinion  of  my  cleverness. 

"  You  have  heard  about  Dr.  Fortescue-Langley  too,  I 
suppose  ?  "  I  went  on. 

"  Oh,  yaas.  Was  n't  it  real  jam  ?  He  did  the  doctor- 
trick  on  a  lady  in  Switzerland.  And  the  way  he  has  come 
it  ovah  deah,  simple,  old  Marmy  !  He  played  Marmy  with 
Ezekiel  !  Not  so  dusty,  was  it  ?  He  's  too  lovely  for  any- 
thing !  " 

"  He  's  an  edged  tool,"  I  said. 

**  Yaas  ;  that  's  why  I  use  him." 


k 


222  Miss  Cciylcy's  Adventures 

"  And  edged  tools  may  cut  the  user's  fingers." 

"  Not  mine,"  he  answered,  taking  out  a  cigarette.  "  Oh 
deah  no.  He  can't  turn  against  inc.  He  would  n't  dare  to. 
Yah  see,  I  have  the  fellah  entirely  in  my  powah.  I  know 
all  his  little  games,  and  I  can  expose  him  any  da}-.  But  it 
suits  me  to  keep  him.  I  don't  mind  telling  yah,  since  I  re- 
spect your  intellect,  that  he  and  I  are  engaged  in  pulling  off 
a  big  coup  togethah.  If  it  were  not  for  that,  I  would  n't  be 
heah.  Yah  don't  catch  me  going  away  so  fall  from  New- 
market and  the  Empire  for  nothing." 

"  I  judged  as  much,"  I  answered.     And  then  I  was  silent. 

But  I  wondered  to  myself  why  the  neutral-tinUd  young 
man  should  be  so  communicative  to  an  obviously  hostile 
stranger. 

For  the  next  few  days  it  amused  me  to  see  how  hard  our 
lordling  tried  to  suit  his  conversation  to  myself  and  Elsie. 
He  was  absurdly  anxious  to  humour  us.  Just  at  first,  it  is 
true,  he  had  discussed  the  subjects  that  la}-  nearest  to  his 
own  heart.  He  was  an  ardent  votary  of  the  noble  quad- 
ruped ;  and  he  loved  the  turf — whose  sward,  we  judged,  he 
trod  mainly  at  Tattersall's.  He  spoke  to  us  with  erudition 
on  "  two-year-old  form,"  and  gave  us  several  "  safe  things  " 
for  the  spring  handicaps.  The  Oaks  he  considered  "  a 
moral  "  for  Clorinda.  He  also  retailed  certain  choice  anec- 
dotes about  ladies  whose  Christian  names  were  chiefly  Tottie 
and  Flo,  and  whose  honoured  surnames  have  escaped  my 
memory.  Most  of  them  flourished,  I  recollect,  at  the 
Frivolity  Music  Hall.  But  when  he  learned  that  our  inter- 
est in  the  noble  quadruped  was  scarcely  more  than  tepid, 
and  that  we  had  never  even  visited  "  the  Friv.,"  as  he 
affectionately  called  it,  he  did  his  best  in  turn  to  acquire  our 


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224  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

subjects.  He  had  heard  us  talk  about  Florence,  for  example, 
and  he  gathered  from  our  talk  that  we  loved  its  art  treasures. 
So  he  set  himself  to  work  to  be  studiously  artistic.  It  was  a 
beautiful  study  in  human  ineptitude.  "  Ah,  yaas,"  he  mur- 
mured, turning  up  the  pale  blue  eyes  ecstatically  towards 
the  mast-head.  "  Chawming  place,  Florence  !  I  dote  on 
the  pickchahs.  I  know  them  all  by  heart.  I  assuah  yah, 
I  've  spent  houahs  and  houahs  feeding  my  soul  in  the 
galleries." 

"  And  what  particular  painter  does  your  soul  most  feed 
upon  ?  "  I  asked  bluntly,  with  a  smile. 

The  question  staggered  him.  I  could  see  him  hunting 
through  the  vacanit  chambers  of  his  brain  for  a  Florentine 
painter.  Then  a  faint  light  gleamed  in  the  leaden  eyes,  and 
he  fingered  the  straw-coloured  moustache  with  that  nervous 
hand  till  he  almost  put  a  visible  point  upon  it.  "  Ah, 
Raphael?"  he  said,  tentatively,  with  an  enquiring  air,  yet 
beaming  at  his  success.  "  Don't  you  think  so?  Splendid 
artist,  Raphael  !  " 

"  And  a  very  safe  guess,"  I  answered,  leading  him  on. 
"  You  can't  go  far  wrong  in  mentioning  Raphael,  can  you  ? 
But  after  him  ?  " 

He  dived  into  the  recesses  of  his  memory  again,  peered 
about  him  for  a  minute  or  two,  and  brought  back  nothing. 
"  I  can't  remembah  the  othah  fellahs'  names,"  he  went  on  ; 
**  they  're  all  so  much  alike  ;  all  in  clli,  don't  yah  know  ; 
but  I  recollect  at  the  time  they  impressed  me  awfully." 

"  No  doubt,"  I  answered. 

He  tried  to  look  through  me,  and  failed.  Then  he  plunged, 
like  the  noble  sportsman  that  he  was,  on  a  second  fetch  of 
memory.     "  Ah — and  Michael  Angelo,"  he  went  on,  quite 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  225 

proud  of  his  treasure-trove.  "  Sweet  things,  Michael 
Angelo's  !  " 

"  Very  sweet,"  I  admitted.  "  So  simple  ;  so  touching  ; 
so  tender  ;  so  domestic  !  " 

I  thought  Elsie  would  explode  ;  but  she  kept  her  counte- 
nance. The  pea-green  young  man  gazed  at  me  uneasily.  He 
had  half  an  idea  by  this  time  that  I  was  making  game  of  him. 

However,  he  fished  up  a  name  once  more,  and  clutched  at 
it.  "  Savonarola,  too,"  he  adventured.  "  I  adore  Savona- 
rola.    His  pickchahs  are  beautiful." 

"  And  so  rare  !  "  Elsie  murmured. 

"Then  there  is  Era  Diavolo  ?  "  I  suggested,  going  one 
better.     "  How  do  you  like  Fra  Diavolo  ?  " 

He  seemed  to  have  heard  the  name  before,  but  still  he 
hesitated.  "Ah — what  did  he  paint?"  he  asked,  with 
growing  caution. 

I  stuffed  him  valiantly.  "  Those  charming  angels,  you 
know,"  I  answered.     "  With  the  roses  and  the  glories  I  " 

"Oh,  yaas  ;  I  recollect.  All  askew,  are  n't  they?  like 
this  !  I  remembah  them  very  well.  But — "  a  doubt 
flitted  across  his  brain — "  was  n't  his  name  Fra  AngeHco  ?  " 

"  His  brother,"  I  replied,  casting  truth  to  the  winds. 
"  They  worked  together,  j'ou  must  have  heard.  One  did 
the  saints  ;  the  other  did  the  opposite.  Division  of  labour, 
don't  you  see  ;  Fra  Angelico,  Fra  Diavolo." 

He  fingered  his  cigarette  with  a  dubious  hand,  and  wrig- 
gled his  eye-glass  tighter.  "  Yaas,  beautiful  ;  beautiful  ! 
But — "  growing  suspicious  apace, — "  was  n't  Fra  Diavolo 
also  a  composah  ? ' ' 

"  Of  course,"  I  assented.  "  In  his  off  time,  he  composed. 
Tho.se  early  Italians — so  versatile,  you  see  ;  so  versatile  !  ' ' 

*5 


226 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


He  had  his  doubts,  Init  he  suppressed  them. 

"  And  Torricelli,"  I  went  on,  with  a  side  glance  at  Elsie, 
who  was  choking  by  this  time.  ' '  And  Chianti,  and  Frittura, 
and  Cinquevalli,  and  Giulio  Romano." 

His  distrust  increased.  "  Now  you  're  trying  to  make 
me  conmiit  myself,"  he  drawled  out.     "  I  remembah  Torri- 


"  WAS    N'r    I'RA    DIAVdI.O    ALSO   A    COMI'OSAH?' 


celli — he  's  the  fellah  who  used  to  paint  all  his  women 
crooked.  But  Chianfi  's  a  wine  ;  I  've  often  drunk  it  ;  and 
Romano's — well,  ever}'  fellah  knows  Romano's  is  a  restau- 
rant near  the  Gaiety  Theatre." 

"  Besides,"  I  contiiuied,  in  a  drawl  like  his  own,  "  there 
are  Risotto,  and  Gnocchi,  and  Vermicelli,  and  Anchovy — 
all  famous  paintahs,  and  all  of  whom  I  don't  doubt  you 
adniiah." 


The  Pea-Green  Patrieian  227 

Elsie  exploded  at  last.  Bu^  he  took  no  offence.  He 
smiled  inanely,  as  if  he  rather  enjoyed  it.  "  L,ook  heah, 
you  know,"  he  said,  with  his  crafty  smile  ;  "  that  's  one  too 
much.  I  'm  not  taking  any.  You  think  yourselves  very 
clevah  for  kidding  me  with  paintahs  who  are  really  macaroni 
and  cheese  and  claret  ;  yet  if  I  were  to  tell  you  the  Lejah  was 
run  at  Ascot,  or  the  Cesarewitch  at  Doncnstah,  why,  you  'd 
be  no  wisah.  When  it  comes  to  art,  I  don't  have  a  look  in  ; 
but  I  could  tell  you  a  thing  or  two  about  starting  prices." 

And  I  was  forced  to  admit  that  there  he  had  reason. 

Still,  I  think  he  realised  that  he  had  better  avoid  the  sub- 
ject of  art  in  future,  as  we  avoided  the  noble  quadruped.  He 
saw  his  limitations. 

Not  till  the  last  evening  before  we  reached  Bombay  did  I 
really  understand  the  nature  of  my  neighbour's  project. 
That  evening,  as  it  chanced,  Elsie  had  a  headache  and  went 
below  early.  I  stopped  with  her  till  she  dozed  off  ;  then  I 
slipped  up  on  deck  once  more  for  a  breath  of  fresh  air,  before 
retiring  for  the  night  to  the  hot  and  stuffy  cabins.  It  was 
an  exquisite  evening.  The  moon  rode  in  the  pale  green  sky 
of  the  tropics.  A  strange  light  still  lingered  on  the  western 
horizon.  The  stifling  heat  of  the  Red  Sea  had  given  way 
long  since  to  the  refreshing  coolness  of  the  Indian  Ocean.  I 
strolled  a  while  on  the  quarter-deck,  and  sat  down  at  last 
near  the  stern.  Next  moment,  I  was  aware  of  somebody 
creeping  up  to  me. 

"  Look  heah.  Miss  Cayley,"  a  voice  broke  in  ;  "I  'm  in 
luck  at  last  !  I  've  been  waiting,  oh,  evah  so  long,  for  this 
opportunity." 

I  turned  and  faced  him.  "  Have  you,  indeed?"  I  an- 
swered.    "  Well,  I  have  not,  Lord  Southminstcr." 


228  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

I  tried  to  rise,  but  he  motioned  me  back  to  my  chair. 
There  were  ladies  on  deck,  and  to  avoid  being  noticed  I 
sank  into  my  seat  again, 

"  I  want  to  speak  to  you,"  he  went  on,  in  a  voice  that  (for 
him)  was  ahnost  impressive.  "  Half  a  mo'.  Miss  Cayley.  I 
want  to  say — this  last  night — you  misunderstand  me." 

"  On  the  contrary,"  I  answered,  "  the  trouble  is — that  I 
understand  you  perfectly." 

"  No,  yah  don't.  Look  heah."  He  bent  forward  quite 
romantically.  "  I 'm  going  to  be  perfectly  frank.  Of  course 
yah  know  that  when  I  came  on  board  this  ship  I  came — to 
checkmate  yah." 

"  Of  course,"  I  replied.  "  Why  else  should  you  and 
Higginson  have  bothered  to  come  here  ?  " 

He  rubbed  his  hands  together.  ' '  That 's  just  it.  You  're 
always  clevah.  You  hit  it  first  shot.  But  there  's  wheah 
the  point  comes  in.  At  first,  I  only  thought  of  how  we 
could  circumvent  yah.  I  treated  yah  as  the  enemy.  Now, 
it  's  all  the  othah  way.  Miss  Cayley,  you  're  the  cleverest 
woman  I  evali  met  in  this  world  ;  you  extort  my  admira- 
tion !" 

I  could  not  repress  a  smile.  I  did  n't  know  how  it  was, 
but  I  could  see  I  possessed  some  mysterious  attraction  for  the 
Ashurst  family.  I  was  fatal  to  Ashursts.  Lady  Georginn, 
Harold  Tillington,  the  Honourable  Marmaduke,  Lord  South- 
minster— different  types  as  they  were — all  succumbed  to  me 
without  one  blow. 

"  You  flatter  me,"  I  answered,  coldly. 

"  No,  I  don't,"  he  cried,  flashing  his  cuffs  and  gazing 
affectionately  at  his  sleeve-links.  "  'Pon  my  soul,  I  assuah 
yah,  I  mean  it.     I  can't  tell  you  how  much  I  admiah  yah. 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  229 

I  admiah  your  intellect.  Ever}^  day  I  have  seen  yah,  I  feel 
it  moali  and  moah.  Why,  you  're  the  only  person  who  has 
evah  out-flanked  my  fellah,  Higginson.  As  a  rule  I  don't 
think  much  of  women.  I  've  been  through  several  London 
seasons,  and  lots  of  'em  have  tried  their  level  best  to  catch 
me  ;  the  cleverest  mammas  have  been  aftali  me  for  their 
Ethels.  But  I  was  n't  so  easily  caught;  I  dodged  the  Ethels. 
With  you,  it  's  different.  I  feel  " — he  paused — "  you  're  a 
woman  a  fellah  might  be  really  proud  of." 

"  You  are  too  kind,"  I  answered,  in  my  refrigerator  voice. 

"  Well,  will  you  take  me  ?  "  he  asked,  trying  to  seize  my 
hand.  "  Miss  Cayley,  if  you  will,  you  will  make  me  un- 
speakably happy." 

It  was  a  great  effort  for  him — and  I  was  sorrj^  to  crush  it. 
"  I  regret,"  I  said,  "  that  I  am  compelled  to  deny  you  un- 
speakable happiness." 

"  Oh,  but  you  don't  catch  on.  You  mistake.  Let  me 
explain.  You  're  backing  the  othah  man.  Now,  I  happen 
to  know  about  that,  and  I  assuah  you,  it 's  an  error.  Take 
my  word  for  it,  you  're  staking  your  money  on  the  wrong 
fellah." 

"  I  do  not  understand  you,"  I  replied,  drawing  away  from 
his  approach.  "  And  what  is  more,  I  may  add,  you  could 
never  understand  me." 

"  Yaas,  but  I  do.  I  understand  perfectly.  I  can  see 
where  you  go  wrong.  You  drew  up  Marmy's  will  ;  and  you 
think  Manny  has  left  all  he  's  worth  to  Harold  Tillington  ; 
so  you  're  putting  every  peiui}-  you  've  got  on  Harold. 
Well,  that  's  mere  moonshine.  Harold  may  think  it  's  all 
right  ;  but  it  's  not  all  right.  There  's  many  a  slip  'twixt 
the  cup  and  the  Prol^ate  Court.     Listen  heah,  Miss  Cayley  ; 


230 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


Higginson  and  I  are  a  jolly  sight  sharper  than  your  friend 
Harold.  Harold  's  what  they  call  a  clevah  fellah  in  society, 
and  I  'm  what  they  call  a  fool  ;  but  I  know  bettah  than 
Harold  which  side  of  my  bread  's  buttahed." 


TAKE  MY  WORD  FOR  IT,  YOU    Kli  STAKING  YOUR  MONEY  ON  THE  WRONG  FELLAH. 

"  I  don't  doubt  it,"  I  answered. 

"  Well,  I  have  managed  this  business.  I  don't  mind  tell- 
ing you  now,  I  had  a  telegram  from  Manny's  valet  when  we 
touched  at  Aden  ;  and  poor  old  Manny  's  sinking,  Habak- 
kuk  's  been  too  much  for  him.  Sixteen  stone  going  under. 
Why  am  I  not  with  him  ?  yah  may  ask.     Because,  when  a 


d 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  231 

man  of  Marmy's  temperament  is  dying,  it 's  safah  to  be  away 
from  him.  There  's  plenty  of  time  for  Marmy  to  altah  his 
will  yet — and  there  are  othah  contingencies.  Still,  Harold  's 
quite  out  of  it.  You  take  my  word  for  it ;  if  you  back  Harold, 
you  back  a  man  who  's  not  going  to  get  anything  ;  while  if 
you  back  me,  you  back  the  winnah,  with  a  coronet  into  the 
bargain." 

And  he  smiled  fatuously. 

I  looked  at  him  with  a  look  that  would  have  made  a  wiser 
man  wince.  But  it  fell  flat  on  Lord  Southminster.  "  Do 
you  know  why  I  do  not  rise  and  go  down  to  my  cabin  at 
once  ?  "  I  said,  slowly.  "  Because,  if  I  did,  somebody  as  I 
passed  might  see  my  burning  cheeks — cheeks  flushed  with 
shame  at  your  insulting  proposal — and  might  guess  that  you 
had  as^ed  me,  and  that  I  had  refused  you.  And  I  should 
shrink  from  the  disgrace  of  anyone's  knowing  that  you  had 
put  such  a  humiliation  upon  me.  You  have  been  frank  with 
me — after  your  kind,  Lord  Southminster  ;  frank  with  the 
franknCvSS  of  a  low  and  purely  connnercial  nature.  I  will  be 
frank  with  you  in  turn.  You  are  right  in  supposing  that  I 
love  Harold  Tillington — a  man  whose  name  I  hate  to  mention 
in  your  presence.  But  you  are  wrong  in  supposing  that  the 
disposition  of  Mr.  Marmaduke  Ashurst's  money  has  or  can 
have  anything  to  do  with  the  feelings  I  entertain  toward;:' 
him.  I  woidd  marry  him  all  the  sooner  if  he  were  poor  anc 
penniless.  You  cannot  understand  that  state  of  mind,  of 
course  ;  but  you  must  be  content  to  accept  it.  And  I  would 
not  marry  jjw<  if  there  were  no  other  man  left  in  the  world  to 
marry.  I  should  as  soon  think  of  marrying  a  lump  of 
dough."  I  faced  him  all  crimson.  "  Is  that  plain  enough  ? 
Do  you  see  now  that  I  really  mean  it  ?  " 


232  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

He  gazed  at  me  with  a  curious  look,  and  twiried  what  he 
considered  his  moustache  once  more,  quite  airil}'.  The  man 
was  imperturbable — a  pachydermatous  imbecile.  "  You  're 
all  wrong,  yah  know,"  he  said,  after  a  long  pause,  during 
which  he  had  regarded  me  through  his  eye-glass  as  if  I  were 
a  specimen  of  some  rare  new  species.  "  You  're  all  wrong, 
and  yah  won't  believe  me.  But  I  tell  yah,  I  know  what 
I  'm  talking  about.  You  think  it 's  quite  safe  about  Marmy's 
money — that  he  's  left  it  to  Harold — because  you  drew  the 
will  up.  I  assuah  you  that  will  's  not  worth  the  paper  it  's 
written  on.  You  fancy  Harold  's  a  hot  favourite  ;  he  's  a 
rank  outsidah.  I  give  you  a  chance,  and  you  won't  take  it. 
I  want  yah  because  you  're  a  remarkable  woman.  Most  of 
the  Ethels  cry  when  they  're  trying  to  make  a  fellah  propose 
to  'em  ;  and  I  don't  like  'em  damp  ;  but  you  have  some  go 
about  yah.  You  insist  upon  backing  the  wrong  man.  But 
you  '11  find  your  mistake  out  yet."  A  bright  idea  struck 
him.  "I  say — why  don't  you  hedge?  Leave  it  open 
till  Manny  's  gone,  and  then  marry  the  winnah  ?  " 

It  was  hopeless  trying  to  make  this  clod  understand.  His 
brain  was  not  built  with  the  right  cells  for  understanding  me. 
"  Lord  Southminster,"  I  said,  turning  upon  him  and  clasping 
my  hands,  ' '  I  will  not  go  away  while  you  stop  here.  But 
you  have  some  spark  enough  of  a  gentleman  in  your  composi- 
tion, I  hope,  not  to  inflict  your  company  any  longer  upon  a 
woman  who  does  not  desire  it.  I  ask  you  to  leave  me  here 
alone.  When  you  have  gone,  and  I  have  had  time  to  re- 
cover from  your  degrading  offer,  I  may  perhaps  feel  able  to 
go  down  to  my  cabin." 

He  stared  at  me  with  open  blue  eyes — those  watery  blue 
eyes.     "  Oh,  just  as  you  like,"  he  answered.     "  I  wanted  to 


'M 


The  Pea-Green  Patrician  233 

do  you  a  good  turn,  because  you  're  the  only  woman  I  evah 
reahlly  admiahed — to  say  admiah,  don't  you  know  ;  not  trot- 
ted round  like  the  Ethels  ;  but  you  won't  allow  me.  I  '11  go 
if  you  wish  it  ;  though  I  tell  you  again,  you  're  backing  the 
wrong  man,  and  soonah  or  latah  you  '11  discover  it.  I  don't 
mind  laying  you  six  to  four  against  him.  Howevah,  I  '11 
do  one  thing  for  yah  :  I  '11  leave  this  offah  always  open. 
I  'm  not  likely  to  marry  any  othah  woman — not  good  enough, 
is  it? — and  if  evah  you. find  out  you  're  mistaken  about 
Harold  Tillington,  remembah,  honour  bright,  I  shall  be 
ready  at  any  time  to  renew  my  ofFah." 

By  this  time,  I  was  at  boiling-point.  I  could  not  find 
words  to  answer  him.  I  waved  him  away  angrily  with  one 
hand.  He  raised  his  hat  with  quite  a  jaunty  air  and  strolled 
oif  forward,  puffing  his  cigarette,  I  don't  think  he  even 
knew  the  disgust  with  which  he  inspired  me. 

I  sat  some  hours  with  the  cool  air  playing  about  mj'^  burn- 
ing cheeks  before  I  mustered  up  courage  to  rise  and  go  down 
below  again. 


^M^ 

JKZSit 

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i^^^ 

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k 

%s%^ 

1^ 

^ft 

^^■^^■P^k:  ill 

^^i 

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^^^ 

^^ 

^ 

^ 

5v\^ 

^  -^1,'< 

-^S^ 

jfi^^^i^ 

\} 

^^-l!^ 

CHAPTER  IX 

THE  ADVENTURE  OF  THE   MAGNIFICENT  MAHARAJAH 

OUR  arrival  at  Bombay  was  a  triumphal  entry.  We 
were  received  like  royalty.  Indeed,  to  tell  the 
truth,  Elsie  and  I  were  beginning  to  get  just  a  little 
bit  spoiled.  It  struck  us  now  that  our  casual  connection 
with  the  Ashurst  family  in  its  various  branches  had  suc- 
ceeded in  saddling  us,  like  the  lady  of  Burleigh,  "  with  the 
burden  of  an  honour  unto  which  we  were  not  born."  We 
were  everywhere  treated  as  persons  of  importance  ;  and,  oh 
dear,  by  dint  of  such  treatment  we  began  to  feel  at  last 
almost  as  if  we  had  been  raised  in  the  purple.  I  felt  that 
when  we  got  back  to  England  we  should  turn  up  our  noses 
at  plain  bread  and  butter. 

Yes,  life  has  been  kind  to  me.  Have  your  researches  into 
English  literature  ever  chanced  to  lead  you  into  reading 
Horace  Walpole,  I  wonder  ?  That  polite  trifler  is  fond  of  a 
word  which  he  coitvd  himself — ' '  serendipity. "  It  is  derived 
from  the  name  oi  ertain  happy  Indian  Prince  Serendip, 
whom  he  unearthed  (or  invented)  in  some  obscure  Oriental 
story  ;  a  prince  for  whom  the  fairies  or  the  genii  always 
managed  to  make  everything  pleasant.  It  implies  the 
faculty,  which  few  of  us  possess,  of  finding  whatever  we 

234 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  235 

want  turn  up  accidentally  at  the  exact  right  moment.  Well, 
I  believe  I  must  have  been  born  with  serendipity  in  my 
mouth,  in  place  of  the  proverbial  silver  spoon,  for,  wherever 
I  go,  all  things  seem  to  come  out  exactly  right  for  me. 

^ho.  Jumna,  for  example,  had  hardly  heaved  to  in  Bombay 
Harbour  when  we  noticed  on  the  quay  a  very  distinguished- 
looking  Oriental  potentate,  in  a  large,  white  turban  with  a 
particularly  big  diamond  stuck  ostentatiously  in  its  front. 
He  stalked  on  board  with  a  martial  air,  as  soon  as  we 
stopped,  and  made  enquiries  from  our  captain  after  someone 
he  expected.  The  captain  received  him  with  that  odd  mix- 
ture of  respect  for  rank  and  wealth,  combined  with  true 
British  contempt  for  the  inferior  black  man,  which  is  uni- 
versal among  his  class  in  their  dealings  with  native  Indian 
nobility.  The  Oriental  potentate,  however,  who  was  accom- 
panied by  a  gorgeous  suite  like  that  of  the  Wise  Men  in  Italian 
pictures,  seemed  satisfied  with  his  information,  and  moved 
over  with  his  stately  glide  in  our  direction.  Elsie  and  I 
were  standing  near  the  gangway  among  our  rugs  and  bun- 
dles, in  the  hopeless  helplessness  of  disembarkation.  He 
approached  us  respectfull3%  and,  bowing  with  extended  hands 
and  a  deferential  air,  asked,  in  excellent  English,  "  May  I 
venture  to  enquire  which  of  you  two  ladies  is  Miss  L,ois 
Cayley?" 

"  /am,"  I  replied,  my  breath  taken  away  by  this  unex- 
pected greeting.  *'  May  I  venture  to  enquire  in  return  how 
you  came  to  know  I  was  arriving  by  this  steamer  ?  " 

He  held  out  his  hand,  with  a  courteous  inclination.  "  I 
am  the  Maharajah  of  Moozuffernuggar,"  he  answered  in 
an  impressive  tone,  as  if  everybody  knew  of  the  Maharajah 
of  Moozuffernuggar  as  familiarly  as  they  knew  of  the  Duke 


236 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


of  Cambridge.  "  Moozuffernuggar  in  Rajputana — not  the 
one  in  the  Doab.  You  must  have  heard  my  name  from  Mr. 
Harold  Tillington." 

I  had  not  ;  but  I  dissembled,  so  as  to  salve  his  pride. 
"  Mr.  Tillington's  friends  are  i;«r  friends, "  I  answered,  sen- 
tentiously. 


I   AM   THE   MAHARAJAH   OF   MOOZUFFERNUGGAR. 


"  And  Mr.  Tillington's  friends  are  my  friends,"  the 
Maharajah  retorted,  with  a  low  bow  to  Elsie.  "  This  is  no 
doubt  Miss  Petheridge.  I  have  heard  of  your  expected 
arrival,  as  you  will  guess,  from  Tillington.  He  and  I  were 
at  Oxford  together  ;  I  am  a  Merton  man.  It  was  Tillington 
who  first  taught  me  all  I  know  of  cricket.  He  took  me  to 
stop  at  his  father's  place  in  Dumfriesshire.  I  owe  much  to 
his  friendship  ;  and  when  he  wrote  me  that  friends  of  his 


The  Ma<j^nificcnt  Maharajah  ^^^-j 

were  arriving  by  \\\Qjnmua,  why,  I  made  haste  to  run  down 
to  Bomba}'  to  greet  them." 

The  episode  was  one  of  those  topsy-turvy  mixtures  of  all 
places  and  ages  which  only  this  jum])led  century  of  ours  has 
witnessed  ;  it  impressed  me  deeply.  Here  was  this  Indian 
prince,  a  feudal  Rajput  chief,  living  practically  among  his 
vassals  in  the  Middle  Ages  when  at  home  in  India  ;  yet  he 
said,  "  I  am  a  Merton  man,"  as  Harold  himself  might  have 
said  it  ;  and  he  talked  about  cricket  as  naturally  as  Lord 
vSouthminster  talked  about  the  noble  quadruped.  The  oddest 
part  of  it  all  was,  we  alone  felt  the  incongruity  ;  to  the 
Maharajah,  the  change  from  Moozuffernuggar  to  Oxford 
and  from  Oxford  back  again  to  Moozuffernuggar  seemed 
perfectly  natural.  They  were  but  two  alternative  phases  in 
a  modern  Indian  gentleman's  education  and  experience. 

Still,  what  were  we  to  do  with  him  ?  If  Harold  had  pre- 
sented me  with  a  white  elephant  I  could  hardly  have  been 
more  embarrassed  than  I  was  at  the  apparition  of  this  urbane 
and  magnificent  Hindoo  prince.  He  was  young  ;  he  was 
handsome  ;  he  was  slim,  for  a  rajah  ;  he  wore  European 
costume,  save  for  the  huge  white  turban  with  its  obtrusive 
diamond  ;  and  he  spoke  English  much  better  than  a  great 
many  Englishmen.  Yet  what  place  could  he  fill  in  my  life 
and  Elsie's?  For  once,  I  felt  almost  angry  with  Harold. 
Why  could  n't  he  have  allowed  us  to  go  quietly  through 
India,  two  simple  unofficial  journalistic  pilgrims,  in  our 
native  obscurity  ? 

His  Highness  of  Moozuffernuggar,  however,  had  his  own 
views  on  this  question.  With  a  courteous  wave  of  one  dusky 
hand,  he  motioned  us  gracefully  into  somebody  else's  deck- 
chairs,  and  then  sat  down  on  another  beside  us,  while  the 


238  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

gorgeous  suite  stood  by  in  respectful  silence — unctuous 
gentlemen  in  pink-and-gold  brocade — forming  a  court  all 
round  us.  Elsie  and  I,  unaccustomed  to  be  so  observed, 
grew  conscious  of  our  hands,  our  skirts,  our  postures.  lUit 
the  Maharajah  posed  himself  with  perfect  unconcern,  like 
one  well  used  to  the  fierce  light  of  royalty.  "  I  have  come," 
he  said,  with  simple  dignity,  "  to  superintend  the  prepara- 
tions for  your  reception." 

"Gracious  heavens!"  I  exclaimed.  "Our  reception, 
Maharajah  ?  I  think  j'ou  misunderstand.  We  are  two 
ordinary  English  ladies  of  the  proletariat,  accustomed  to  the 
level  plain  of  professional  society.     We  expect  no  reception." 

He  bowed  again,  with  stately  Eastern  deference.  "  Friends 
of  Tillington's,"  he  said,  shortly,  "  are  persons  of  distinction. 
Besides,  I  have  heard  of  you  from  Lady  Georgina  Fawley." 

"  Lady  Georgina  is  too  good,"  I  answered,  though  in- 
wardly I  raged  against  her.  Why  could  n't  she  leave  us 
alone,  to  feed  in  peace  on  dak-bungalow  chicken,  instead  of 
sending  this  regal-mannered  heathen  to  bother  ps  ? 

"  So  I  have  come  dow^n  to  Bombay  to  make  sure  that  you 
are  met  in  the  style  that  befits  your  importance  in  society," 
he  went  on,  waving  his  suite  away  with  one  careless  hand,  for 
he  saw  it  fussed  us.  "  I  mentioned  you  to  His  Honour  the 
Acting-Governor,  who  had  not  heard  you  were  coming.  His 
Honour's  aide-de-camp  will  follow  shortly  with  an  invitation 
to  Government  House  while  you  remain  in  Bombay — which 
will  not  be  many  days,  I  don't  doubt,  for  there  is  nothing  in 
this  city  of  plague  to  stop  for.  Later  on,  during  your  pro- 
gress up  country,  I  do  myself  the  honour  to  hope  that  you 
will  stay  as  my  guests  for  as  long  as  you  choose  at  Moo- 
zufFernuggar." 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  239 

My  first  impulse  was  to  answer  :  "  Impossible,  Maharajah ; 
we  could  n't  dream  of  accepting  your  kind  invitation."  But 
on  second  thoughts,  I  remembered  my  duty  to  my  proprietor. 
Journalism  first  ;  inclination  afterwards  !  My  letter  from 
Kgypt  on  the  rescue  of  the  English  woman  who  escaped  from 
Khartoum  had  brought  me  great  tWa/  as  a  special  corre- 
spondent, and  the  Daily  Tclcp1i07ie  now  billed  my  name  in 
big  letters  on  its  placards,  so  Mr.  Elworthy  wrote  me.  Here 
was  another  noble  chance  ;  must  I  not  strive  to  ri.se  to  it  ? 
Two  English  ladies  at  a  native  court  in  Rajputana  ! — that 
ought  to  afford  .scope  for  .some  rattling  journalism  ! 

"It  is  extremely  kind  of  you,"  I  said,  hesitating,  "  and 
it  would  give  us  great  pleasure,  were  it  feasible,  to  accept 
your  friendly  offer.  But — English  ideas,  you  know.  Prince  ! 
Two  unprotected  women  !  I  hardly  see  how  we  could  come 
alone  to  Moozuffernuggar,  iinchaperoned." 

The  Maharajah's  face  lighted  up  ;  he  was  evidently  flat- 
tered that  we  should  even  thus  dubiously  entertain  his  pro- 
posal. "  Oh,  I  've  thought  about  that,  too,  "  he  an.swerecl, 
growing  more  colloquial  in  tone.  "  I  've  been  some  days  in 
Bombay,  making  enquiries  and  preparations.  You  see,  you 
had  not  informed  the  authorities  ot  your  intended  visit,  so 
that  you  were  travelling  incognito — or  should  it  be  incognita  f 
— and  if  Tillington  had  n't  written  to  let  me  know  your 
movements,  you  might  have  arrived  at  this  port  without 
anybody's  knowing  it,  and  have  been  compelled  to  take 
refuge  in  an  hotel  on  landing."  He  spoke  as  if  we  had 
been  accustomed  all  our  lives  long  to  be  received  with  red 
cloth  by  the  Mayor  and  Corporation,  and  presented  with 
illuminated  addresses  and  the  freedom  of  the  city  in  a  gold 
snuff-box.     "  But   I   have  seen  to  all  that.     The  Acting- 


240  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

Governor's  aide-de-camp  will  be  down  before  long,  and  I 
have  arranged  that  if  you  consent  a  little  later  to  honour  my 
humble  roof  in  Rajputana  with  your  august  presence,  Major 
Balmossie  and  his  wife  will  accompany  3'ou  and  chaperon 
you.  I  have  lived  in  England  ;  of  course  I  understand  that 
two  English  ladies  of  your  rank  and  position  cannot  travel 
alone — as  if  you  were  Americans.  But  Mrs.  Balmossie  is  a 
nice  little  soul,  of  unblemished  character  " — that  sweet  touch 
charmed  me — "  received  at  Government  House  " — he  had 
learned  the  respect  due  to  Mrs.  Grundy — "  so  that  if  you 
will  accept  my  invitation,  you  may  rest  assured  that  every- 
thing will  be  done  v.'ith  the  utmost  regard  to  the — the  unac- 
countable prejudices  of  Europeans." 

His  thoughtfulness  took  me  aback.  I  thanked  him 
warmly.  He  unbent  at  my  thanks.  "  And  I  am  obliged  to 
you  in  return,"  he  said.  "  It  gives  me  real  pleasure  to  be 
able,  through  you,  to  repay  Harold  Tillington  part  of  the 
debt  I  owe  him.  He  was  so  good  to  me  at  Oxford.  Miss 
Cayley,  3'OU  are  new  to  India,  and  therefore — as  yet — no 
doubt  unprejudiced.  You  treat  a  native  gentleman,  I  see, 
like  a  human  being.  I  hope  you  will  not  stop  long  enough 
in  our  country  to  get  over  that  stage — as  happens  to  most 
of  your  countrj-men  and  countrywomen.  In  England,  a 
man  like  myself  is  an  Indian  prince  ;  in  India,  to  ninety- 
nine  out  of  a  hundred  Europeans,  he  is  just  'a  damned 
nigger.'  " 

I  smiled  sympathetically.  "  I  think,"  I  said,  venturing 
under  these  circumstances  on  a  harndess  little  .swear-word — 
of  course,  in  quotation  marks — "  you  may  trust  me  never  to 
reach  '  damn-nigger'  point." 

"So  I  believe,"  he  answered,   "if  you  are  a  friend  of 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  241 

Harold  Tillingtou's.     Ebony  or  ivory,  he  never  forgot  we 
were  two  men  together." 

Five  minutes  later,  when  the  Maharajah  had  gone  to  en- 
quire about  our  luggage,    Lord  Southminster  strolled  up. 


"who's  your  black  friknd?" 

"  Oh,  I  say.  Miss  Cay  ley,"  he  burst  out,  "  I  'm  off  now  ;  ta- 
ta  ;  but  remembah,  that  offah  's  always  open.  By  the  way, 
who  's  your  black  friend  ?  I  could  n't  help  laughing  at  the 
airs  the  fellah  gave  himself.  To  see  a  niggah  sitting  theah, 
with  his  suite  all'  round  him,  waving  his  hands  and  sunning 


242  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

his  rings,  and  behaving  for  all  the  world  as  if  he  were  a 
gentleman  ;  it  's  reahlly  too  ridiculous.  Harold  Tillington 
picked  up  with  a  fellah  like  that  at  Oxford — doosid  good 
cricketer  too  ;  wondah  if  this  is  the  same  one." 

"  Good-bye,  Lord  Southminster,"  I  said,  quietly,  with  a 
stiff  little  bow.  ' '  Remember,  on  your  side,  that  your  '  offer ' 
was  rejected  once  for  all  last  night.  Yes,  the  Indian  prince 
i's  Harold  Tillington's  friend,  the  Maharajah  of  Moozuffer- 
nuggar — whose  ancestors  were  princes  while  ours  were 
dressed  in  woad  and  oak-leaves.  But  you  were  right  about 
one  thing  ;  /ie  behaves — like  a  gentleman." 

"  Oh,  I  say,"  the  pea-green  young  man  ejaculated,  draw- 
ing back  ;  "  that  's  anothah  in  the  eye  for  me.  You  're  a 
good  'un  at  facers.  You  gav^e  me  one  for  a  welcome,  and 
you  give  me  one  now  for  a  parting  shot.  Nevah  mind, 
though,  I  can  wait  ;  you  're  backing  the  wrong  fellah — but 
you  're  not  the  Ethels,  and  you  're  well  worth  waiting  for." 
He  waved  his  hand.  "  So-long  !  See  yah  again  in 
London." 

And  he  retired,  with  that  fatuous  smile  still  absorbing  his 
features. 

Our  three  days  in  Bombay  were  uneventful  ;  we  merely 
waited  to  get  rid  of  the  roll  of  the  ship,  which  continued  to 
haunt  us  for  hours  after  we  landed — the  floor  of  our  bed- , 
rooms  having  acquired  an  ugly  trick  of  rising  in  long  undu- 
lations, as  if  Bombay  were  suffering  from  chronic  earthquake. 
We  made  the  acquaintance  of  His  Honour  the  Acting  Gov- 
ernor, and  His  Honour's  consort.  We  were  also  introduced 
to  Mrs.  Balmossie,  the  lady  who  was  to  chaperon  us  to  Moo- 
zAiffernuggar.      Her  husband   was  a  soldierly   Scotchman 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  243 

from  Forfarshire,  but  she  herself  was  English — a  flighty 
little  body  with  a  perpetual  giggle.  She  giggled  so  much 
over  the  idea  of  the  Maharajah's  inviting  us  to  his  palace 
that  I  wondered  why  on  earth  she  accepted  his  invitation. 
At  this  she  seemed  surprised.  ' '  Why,  it 's  one  of  the  jolliest 
places  in  Rajputana,"  she  answered,  with  a  bland  Simla 
smile;  ''so  picturesque— he,  he,  he— and  so  delightful. 
Simpkin  flows  like  water— Simpkin  's  baboo  English  for 
champagne,  you  know— he,  he,  he  ;  and  though  of  course 
the  Maharajah  's  only  a  native  like  the  rest  of  them— he,  he, 
he — still,  he  's  been  educated  at  Oxford,  and  has  mixed  with 
Europeans,  and  he  knows  how  to  make  one — he,  he,  he — 
well,  thoroughly  comfortable." 

"  But  what  shall  we  eat?"  I  asked.  "  Rice,  ghee,  and 
chupatties  ? ' ' 

"  Oh  dear  no — he,  he,  he— Europe  food,  every  bit  of  it. 
Foie  gras,  and  York  ham,  and  wine  ad  lib.  His  hospitality  's 
massive.  If  it  were  n't  for  that,  of  course,  one  would  n't 
dream  of  going  there.  But  Archie  hopes  some  day  to  be 
made  Resident,  don't  you  know;  and  it  will  do  him  no  harm 
— he,  he,  he — with  the  Foreign  Office,  to  have  cultivated 
friendly  relations  beforehand  with  His  Highness  of  Moo- 
zuffernuggar.  These  natives — he,  he,  he — so  absurdly 
sensitive  ! ' ' 

For  myself,  the  Maharajah  interested  me,  and  I  rather 
liked  him.  Besides,  he  was  Harold's  friend,  and  that  was 
in  itself  sufficient  recommendation.  So  I  determined  to  puj  h 
straight  into  the  heart  of  native  India  first,  and  only  after- 
wards to  do  the  regulation  tourist  round  of  Agra  and  Delhi, 
the  Taj  and  the  mosques,  Benares  and  Allahabad,  leaving 
the  English  and  Calcutta  for  the  tail-end  of  my  journey. 


244  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

It  was  better  journalism.  As  I  thought  that  thought,  I 
began  to  fear  that  Mr.  El  worthy  was  right  after  all,  and  that 
I  was  a  born  journalist. 

On  the  day  fixed  for  our  leaving  Bombay,  whom  should  I 
meet  but  Lord  Southminster — with  the  Maharajah — at  the 
railway  station  ! 

He  lounged  up  to  me  with  that  eternal  smile  still  vaguely 
pervading  his  empty  features.  "  Well,  we  shall  have  a  jolly 
party,  I  gathah,"  he  said.  "  They  tell  me  this  niggah  is 
famous  for  his  tigahs." 

I  gazed  at  him,  positively  taken  aback.  "  You  don't 
mean  to  tell  me,"  I  cried,  "  you  actually  propose  to  accept 
the  Maharajah's  hospitality  ?  " 

His  smile  absorbed  him.  "  Yaas,"  he  answered,  twirling 
his  yellow  moustache,  and  gazing  across  at  the  unconscious 
prince,  who  was  engaged  in  overlooking  the  arrangements 
for  our  saloon  carriage.  "  The  black  fellah  discovahed  I 
was  a  cousin  of  Harold's,  so  he  came  to  call  upon  me  at  the 
club,  of  which  some  Johnnies  heali  made  me  an  honorary 
niembah.  He  's  ofFahed  me  the  run  of  his  place  while  I  'm 
in  Indiah,  and,  of  course,  I  've  accepted.  Eccentric  sort  of 
chap;  can't  make  him  out  myself;  says  anyone  connected 
with  Harold  Tillington  is  always  deah  to  him.  Rum  start, 
is  n't  it?" 

"  He  is  a  mere  Oriental,"  I  answered,  "  unused  to  the 
ways  of  civilised  life.  He  cherishes  the  superannuated  virtue 
of  gratitude." 

"  Yaas  ;  no  doubt — so  I  'm  coming  along  with  you." 

I  drew  back,  horrified.  "Now?  While  I  am  there? 
After  what  I  told  you  last  week  on  the  steamer  ?  " 

"  Oh.  that  's  all  right.     I  bear  yah  no  malice.     If  I  want 


( ( 


<  ( 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  245 

any  fun,  of  course  I  must  go  while  you  're  at  Moozuffer- 
nuggar." 

Why  so?" 

Yah  see,  this  black  boundah  means  to  get  up  some  big 
things  at  his  place  in  your  honah  ;  and  one  naturally  goes  to 
stop  with  anyone  who  has  big  things  to  offah.  Hang  it  all, 
what  does  it  mattah  who  a  fellah  is  if  he  can  give  yah  good 
shooting  ?  It 's  shooting,  don't  yah  know,  that  keeps  society 
in  England  togethah  !  " 

"  And  therefore  you  propose  to  stop  in  the  same  house 
with  me,"  I  exclaimed,  "  in  spite  of  what  I  have  told  you  ! 
Well,  Lord  Southminster,  I  should  have  thought  there  were 
limits  which  evenjw^r  taste " 

He  cut  me  short  with  an  inane  grin.  "  There  you  make 
your  blooming  little  erraw,"  he  answered  airily.  "  I  told 
yah,  I  keep  my  offah  still  open  ;  and,  hang  it  all,  I  don't 
mean  to  lose  sight  of  yah  in  a  hurry.  Some  other  fellah 
might  come  along  and  pick  you  up  when  I  was  n't  looking  ; 
and  I  don't  want  to  miss  yah.  In  point  of  fact,  I  don't  mind 
telling  yah,  I  back  myself  still  for  a  couple  of  thou'  soonah 
or  latah  to  marry  yah.  It  's  dogged  as  does  it  ;  faint  heart, 
they  say,  nevah  won  fair  lady  !  " 

If  it  had  not  been  that  I  could  not  bear  to  disappoint  my 
Indian  prince,  I  think,  when  I  heard  this,  I  should  have 
turned  back  then  and  there  at  the  station. 

The  journey  up  country  was  uneventful,  but  dusty.  The 
Mofussil  appears  to  consist  mainly  of  dust  ;  indeed,  I  can 
now  recall  nothing  of  it  but  one  pervading  white  cloud, 
which  has  blotted  from  my  memory  all  its  other  components. 
The  dust  clung  to  my  hair  after  many  wa.shings,  and  was 
nev^er  really  beaten  out  of  my  travelling  clothes  ;  I  believe 


246  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

part  of  it  thus  went  round  the  world  with  me  to  England. 
When  at  last  we  reached  Moozuffernuggar,  after  two  days' 
and  a  night's  hard  travelling,  we  were  met  by  a  crowd  of 
local  grandees,  who  looked  as  if  they  had  spent  the  greater 
part  of  their  lives  in  brushing  back  their  whiskers,  and  we 
drove  up  at  once,  in  European  carriages,  to  the  Maharajah's 
palace.  The  look  of  it  astonished  me.  It  was  a  strange  and 
rambling  old  Hindoo  hill-fort,  high  perched  on  a  scarped 
crag,  like  Edinburgh  Castle,  and  accessible  only  on  one  side, 
up  a  gigantic  staircase,  guarded  on  either  hand  by  huge 
sculptured  elephants  cut  in  the  living  sandstone.  Below 
clustered  the  town,  an  intricate  mass  of  tangled  alleys.  I 
had  never  seen  anything  so  picturesque  or  so  dirty  in  my 
life  ;  as  for  Elsie,  she  was  divided  between  admiration  for 
its  beaut}'  and  terror  at  the  big-whiskered  and  white-turbaned 
attendants. 

"  What  sort  of  rooms  shall  we  have  ?  "  I  whispered  to  our 
moral  guarantee,  Mrs.  Balmossie. 

"  Oh,  beautiful,  dear,"  the  little  lady  smirked  back. 
"  Furnished  throughout — he,  he,  he — by  Liberty.  The 
Maharajah  wants  to  do  honour  to  his  European  guests — he, 
he,  he — he  fancies,  poor  man,  he  's  quite  European.  That 's 
what  comes  of  sending  these  creatures  to  Oxford  !  So  he  's 
had  suites  of  rooms  furnished  for  any  white  visitors  who  may 
chance  to  come  his  way.  Ridiculous,  is  n't  it  ?  A7id  cham- 
pagne— oh,  gallons  of  it  !  He  's  quite  proud  of  his  rooms — 
he,  he,  he — he  's  always  asking  people  to  come  and  occup3' 
them  ;  he  thinks  he  's  done  them  up  in  the  best  style  of 
decoration." 

He  had  reason,  for  they  were  as  tasteful  as  they  were 
dainty  and  comfortable.     And  I  could  not  for  the  life  of  me 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  247 

make  out  why  his  hospitable  indinatioii  should  be  voted 
"  ridiculous."  But  Mrs.  Balniossie  appeared  to  find  all 
natives  alike  a  huge  joke  together.  She  never  even  spoke 
of  them  without  a  condescending  smile  of  distant  compassion. 
Indeed,  most  Anglo-Indians  seem  first  to  do  their  best  to 
Anglicise  the  Hindoo,  and  then  to  laugh  at  him  for  aping 
the  Englishman. 

After  we  had  been  three  days  at  the  palace  and  had  spent 
hours  in  the  wonderful  temples  and  ruins,  the  Maharajah 
announced  with  considerable  pride  at  breakfast  one  morning 
that  he  had  got  up  a  tiger  hunt  in  our  special  honour. 

lyord  Southminster  rubbed  his  hands, 

"  Ha,  that  's  right,  Maharaj,"  he  said,  briskly.  "  I  do 
love  big  game.  To  tell  yah  the  truth,  old  man,  that  's  just 
what  I  came  heah  for. ' ' 

*'  You  do  me  too  much  honour,"  the  Hindoo  answered, 
with  quiet  sarcasm.  "  My  town  and  palace  may  have  little 
to  offer  that  is  worth  your  attention  ;  but  I  am  glad  that 
my  big  game,  at  least,  has  been  lucky  enough  to  attract 
you." 

The  remark  was  thrown  away  on  the  pea-green  young 
man.  He  had  described  his  host  to  me  as  "a  black 
boundah."  Out  of  his  own  mouth  I  condemned  him — he 
supplied  the  very  word — he  was  himself  nothing  more  than  a 
born  bounder. 

During  the  next  few  days,  the  preparations  for  the  tiger 
hunt  occupied  all  the  Maharajah's  energies.  "  You  know. 
Miss  Cayley,"  he  said  to  me,  as  we  stood  upon  the  big  stairs, 
looking  down  on  the  Hindoo  city,  "  a  tiger  hunt  is  not  a 
thing  to  be  got  up  lightly.  Our  people  themselves  don't 
like  killing  a  tiger.     They  reverence  it  too  much.     They  're 


248  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

afraid  its  spirit  might  haunt  them  afterwards  and  bring  them 
bad  luck.     That  's  one  of  our  superstitions." 

"  You  do  not  share  it  yourself,  then  ?  "  I  asked. 

He  drew  himself  up  and  opened  his  palms,  with  a  twink- 
ling of  pendent  emeralds,  "  I  am  royal,"  he  answered,  with 
naive  dignity,  "  and  the  tiger  is  a  royal  beast.  Kings  know 
the  ways  of  kings.  If  a  king  kills  what  is  kingly,  it  owes 
him  no  grudge  for  it.  But  if  a  common  man  or  a  low-caste 
man  were  to  kill  a  tiger — who  can  say  what  might  happen  ?  ' ' 

I  saw  he  was  not  himself  quite  free  from  the  supersti- 
tion. 

"  Our  peasants,"  he  went  on,  fixing  me  with  his  great 
black  eyes,  "  won't  even  mention  the  tiger  by  name,  for  fear 
of  offending  him  ;  they  believe  him  to  be  the  dwelling-place 
of  a  powerful  spirit.  If  they  wish  to  speak  of  him,  they  say 
*  the  great  beast,'  or  '  my  lord,  the  striped  one.'  Some 
think  the  spirit  is  immortal,  except  at  the  hands  of  a  king. 
But  they  have  no  objection  to  see  him  destroyed  by  others. 
They  will  even  point  out  his  whereabouts,  and  rejoice  over 
his  death  ;  for  it  relieves  the  village  of  a  serious  enemy,  and 
they  believe  the  spirit  will  only  haunt  the  huts  of  those  who 
actually  kill  him." 

"  Then  you  know  where  each  tiger  lives  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  As  well  as  your  gamekeepers  in  England  know  which 
covert  may  be  drawn  for  foxes.  Yes  ;  't  is  a  royal  sport,  and 
we  keep  it  for  maharajahs.  I  myself  never  hunt  a  tiger  till 
some  European  visitor  of  distinction  comes  to  Moozufifer- 
nuggar,  that  I  may  show  him  good  sport.  This  tiger  we 
shall  hunt  to-morrow,  for  example,  he  is  a  bad  old  hand. 
He  has  carried  off  the  buffaloes  of  my  villagers  over  yonder 
for  years  and  years,  and  of  late  he  has  also  become  a  man- 


> 


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i-, 

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o 


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O 


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250  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

eater.  He  once  ate  a  whole  family  at  a  meal — a  man,  his 
wife,  and  his  three  children.  The  people  at  Janwargurh 
have  been  pestering  me  for  weeks  to  come  and  shoot  him  ; 
and  each  week  he  has  eaten  somebody — a  child  or  a  woman  ; 
the  last  was  yesterday — but  I  waited  till  you  came,  because 
I  thought  it  would  be  something  to  show  you  that  you  would 
not  be  likely  to  see  elsewhere." 

"  And  you  let  the  poor  people  go  on  being  eaten,  that  we 
might  enjoy  this  sport  !  "  I  cried. 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders,  and  opened  his  palms.  * '  They 
were  villagers,  you  know — ryots  :  mere  tillers  of  the  soil — 
poor  naked  peasants.  I  have  thousands  of  them  to  spare. 
If  a  tiger  eats  ten  of  them,  they  only  say,  *  It  was  written 
upon  their  foreheads.'  One  woman  more  or  less — who 
would  notice  her  at  MoozufFernuggar  ? ' ' 

Then  I  perceived  that  the  Maharajah  was  a  gentleman, 
but  still  a  barbarian. 

The  eventful  morning  arrived  at  last,  and  we  started,  all 
agog,  for  the  jungle  where  the  tiger  was  known  to  live. 
Elsie  excused  herself.  She  remarked  to  me  the  night  be- 
fore, as  I  brushed  her  back  hair  for  her,  that  she  had  "  half 
a  mind"  not  to  go.  "  My  dear,"  I  answered,  giving  the 
brush  a  good  dash,  "for  a  higher  mathematician,  that 
phrase  lacks  accuracy.  If  you  were  to  say  '  seven-eighths 
of  a  mind  '  it  would  be  nearer  the  mark.  In  point  of  fact, 
if  you  ask  my  opinion,  your  inclination  to  go  is  a  vanishing 
quantity." 

She  admitted  the  impeachment  with  an  accusing  blush. 
"  You  're  quite  right,  Brownie  ;  to  tell  you  the  truth,  I  'm 
afraid  of  it." 

"So  am  I,  dear;    horribly  afraid.      Between  ourselves, 


The  Mai^nificent  Maharajah  251 

I  'm  in  a  deadly  funk  of  it.  But  '  the  brave  man  is  not  he 
that  feels  no  fear  '  ;  and  I  believe  the  same  principle  applies 
almost  equally  to  the  brave  woman.  I  mean  '  that  fear  to 
subdue  '  as  far  as  I  am  able.  The  Maharajah  says  I  shall 
be  the  first  girl  who  has  ever  gone  tiger  hunting.  I  'm 
frightened  out  of  my  life.  I  never  held  a  gun  in  my  born 
days.  But,  Elsie,  recollect,  this  is  splendid  journalism!  I 
intend  to  go  through  with  it." 

"  You  offer  yourself  on  the  altar,  Brownie." 
"  I  do,  dear  ;  I  propose  to  die  in  the  cause.     I  expect  my 
proprietor  to  carve  on  my  tomb,  '  Sacred  to  the  memory  of 
the  martyr  of  journalism.     She  was  killed,   in  the  act  of 
taking  shorthand  notes,  by  a  Bengal  tiger.'  " 

We  started  at  early  dawn,  a  motley  mixture.  My  short 
bicycling  skirt  did  beautifully  for  tiger  hunting.  There  was 
a  vast  company  of  native  swells,  nawabs  and  ranas,  in  gor- 
geous costumes,  whose  preci.se  names  and  titles  I  do  not 
pretend  to  remember;  there  were  also  Major  Balmossie,  Lord 
Southminster,  the  Maharajah,  and  myself — all  mounted  on 
gaily  caparisoned  elephants.  We  had  likewise,  on  foot,  a 
miserable  crowd  of  wretched  beaters,  with  dirty  white  loin- 
cloths. We  were  all  very  brav^e,  of  course — demonstra- 
tively brave — and  we  talked  a  great  deal  at  the  start  about 
the  exhilaration  given  by  "  the  spice  of  danger."  But  it 
somehow  struck  me  that  the  poor  beaters  on  foot  had  the 
majority  of  the  danger  and  extremely  little  of  the  ex- 
hilaration. Each  of  us  great  folk  was  mounted  on  his 
own  elephant,  which  carried  a  light  basket-work  howdah  in 
two  compartments  :  the  front  one  intended  for  the  noble 
sportsman,  the  back  one  for  a  servant  with  extra  guns  and 
ammunition.     I  pretended  to  like  it,  but  I  fear  I  trembled 


252  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

visibly.  Our  mahouts  sat  on  the  elephants'  necks,  each 
armed  with  a  pointed  goad,  to  whose  admonition  the  huge 
beasts  answered  like  clockwork.  A  born  journalist  always 
pretends  to  know  everything  beforehand,  .so  I  speak  care- 
lessly of  the  "  mahout,"  as  if  he  were  a  familiar  acquaint- 
ance. But  I  don't  mind  telling  you  aside,  in  confidence, 
that  I  had  only  just  learnt  the  word  that  morning. 

The  Maharajah  protested  at  first  against  my  taking  part 
in  the  actual  hunt,  but  I  think  his  protest  was  merely  formal. 
In  his  heart  of  hearts  I  believe  he  was  proud  that  the  first 
lady  tiger  hunter  should  have  joined  his  party. 

Dusty  and  shadeless,  the  road  from  Moozuffernuggar  fares 
straight  across  the  plain  towards  the  crumbling  mountains. 
Behind,  in  the  heat  mist,  the  castle  and  palace  on  their 
steeply  scarped  crag,  with  the  squalid  town  that  clustered  at 
their  feet,  reminded  me  once  more  most  strangely  of  Edin- 
burgh, where  I  used  to  spend  my  vacations  from  Girton. 
But  the  pitiless  sun  differed  greatly  from  the  grey  haar  of  the 
northern  metropolis.  It  warmed  into  intense  white  the  little 
temples  of  the  wayside,  and  beat  on  our  heads  with  tropical 
garishness. 

I  am  bound  to  admit  also  that  tiger  hunting  is  not  quite 
all  it  is  cracked  up  to  be.  In  my  fancy  I  had  pictured  the 
gallant  and  bloodthirsty  bea.st  rushing  out  upon  us  full  pelt 
from  some  grass-grown  nullah  at  the  first  sniff  of  our  presence, 
and  fiercely  attacking  both  men  and  elephants.  Instead  of 
that,  I  will  confess  the  whole  truth  :  frightened  as  at  least 
one  of  us  was  of  the  tiger,  the  tiger  was  still  more  desperately 
frightened  of  his  human  assailants.  I  could  see  clearly  that, 
so  far  from  rushing  out  of  his  own  accord  to  attack  us,  his  one 
desire  was  to  be  let  alone.     He  was  horribly  afraid  ;    he 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  253 

skulked  in  the  jungle  like  a  wary  old  fox  in  a  trusty  spinney. 
There  was  no  nullah  (whatever  a  nullah  may  be),  there  was 
only  a  waste  of  dusty  cane-brake.  We  encircled  the  tall 
grass  patch  where  he  lurked,  forming  a  big  round  with  a 
ring-fence  of  elephants.  The  beaters  on  foot,  advancing, 
half  naked,  with  a  caution  with  which  I  could  fully  sym- 
pathise, endeavoured  l)y  loud  shouts  and  gesticulations  to 
rouse  the  royal  beast  to  a  sense  of  his  position.  Not  a  bit  of 
it  ;  the  royal  beast  declined  to  be  drawn  ;  he  preferred  retire- 
ment. The  Maharajah,  whose  elephant  was  stationed  next 
to  mine,  even  apologised  for  the  resolute  cowardice  with 
which  he  clung  to  his  ignoble  lurking-place. 

The  beaters  drew  in  ;  the  elephants,  raising  their  trunks 
in  air  and  sniffing  suspicion,  moved  slowly  inward.  We  had 
girt  him  round  now  with  a  perfect  ring,  through  which  he 
could  not  possiljly  break  without  attacking  somebody.  The 
Maharajah  kept  a  fixed  eye  on  my  personal  safety.  But  still 
the  royal  animal  crouched  and  skulked,  and  still  the  black 
beaters  shrieked,  howled,  and  gesticnlated.  At  last,  among 
the  tall  perpendicular  lights  and  shadows  of  the  big  grasses 
and  bamboos,  I  seemed  to  see  something  move — something 
striped  like  the  stems,  yet  passing  slowly,  slowly,  slowly 
between  them.  It  moved  in  a  stealthy  undulating  line.  No 
one  could  believe  till  he  saw  it  how  the  bright  flame-coloured 
bands  of  vivid  orange-yellow  on  the  monster's  flanks,  and 
the  interspersed  black  stripes,  could  fade  away  and  har- 
monise, in  their  native  surroundings,  with  the  lights  and 
shades  of  the  upright  jungle.  It  was  a  marvel  of  mimicry. 
"  Look  there  !  "  I  cried  to  the  Maharajah,  pointing  one 
eager  hand.     "  What  is  that  thing  there,  moving  ?  " 

He  stared  where  I  pointed.     "  By  Jove,"  he  cried,  raising 


254  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

his  rifle  with  a  sportsman's  quickness,  "  you  have  spotted 
him  first  !     The  tiger  !  " 

The  terrified  beast  stole  slowly  and  cautiously  through 
the  tall  grasses,  his  lithe,  silken  side  gliding  in  and  out  snake- 
wise,  and  only  his  fierce  eyes  burning  bright  with  gleaming 
flashes  between  the  gloom  of  the  jungle.  Once  I  had  seen 
him,  I  could  follow  with  ease  his  siiuious  path  among  the 
tangled  bamboos,  a  waving  line  of  beauty  in  perpetual  mo- 
tion. The  Maharajah  followed  him  too,  with  his  keen  eyes, 
and  pointed  his  rifle  hastily.  But,  quick  as  he  was.  Lord 
Southminster  was  before  him.  I  had  half  expected  to  find 
the  pea-green  young  man  turn  coward  at  the  last  moment  ; 
but  in  that  I  was  mistaken  :  I  will  do  him  the  justice  to  say, 
whatever  else  he  was,  he  was  a  born  sportsman.  The  gleam 
of  joy  in  his  leaden  eye  when  he  caught  sight  of  the  tiger, 
the  flush  of  excitement  on  his  pasty  face,  the  eagerness  of 
his  alert  attitude,  were  things  to  see  and  remember.  That 
moment  almost  ennobled  him.  In  sight  of  danger,  the  best 
instincts  of  the  savage  seemed  to  revive  within  him.  In 
civilised  life  he  was  a  poor  creature  ;  face  to  face  with  a  wild 
beast  he  became  a  mighty  shikari.  Perhaps  that  was  why 
he  was  so  fond  of  big-game  shooting.  He  may  have  felt  it 
raised  him  in  the  scale  of  being. 

He  lifted  his  rifle  and  fired.  He  was  a  cool  shot,  and  he 
wounded  the  beast  upon  its  left  shoulder.  I  could  see  the 
great  crimson  stream  gush  out  all  at  once  across  the  shapely 
sides,  staining  the  flame-coloured  stripes  and  reddening  the 
black  shadows.  The  tiger  drew  back,  gave  a  low,  fierce 
growl,  and  then  crouched  among  the  jungle.  I  saw  he  was 
going  to  leap  ;  he  bent  his  huge  backbone  into  a  strong 
downward  curve,  took  in  a  deep  breath,  and  stood  at  bay, 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  255 

glaring  at  us.  Which  elephant  would  he  attack  ?  That 
was  what  he  was  now  debating.  Next  moment,  with  a 
frightful  R'-r'-r'-r',  he  had  straightened  out  his  muscles, 
and,  like  a  bolt  from  a  bow,  had  launched  his  huge  bulk 
forward. 

I  never  saw  his  charge.  I  never  knew  he  had  leapt  upon 
me.  I  only  felt  my  elephant  rock  from  side  to  side  like  a 
ship  in  a  storm.  He  was  trumpeting,  shaking,  roaring  with 
rage  and  pain,  for  the  tiger  was  on  his  flanks,  its  claws 
buried  deep  in  the  skin  of  his  forehead.  I  could  not  keep 
my  seat  ;  I  felt  myself  tossed  about  in  the  frail  howdah  like 
a  pill  in  a  pill-box.  The  elephant,  in  a  death  grapple,  was 
trying  to  shake  off  his  ghastly  enemy.  For  a  minute  or  two, 
I  was  conscious  of  nothing  save  this  swinging  movement. 
Then,  opening  my  eyes  for  a  second,  I  saw  the  tiger,  in  all 
his  terrible  beauty,  clinging  to  the  elephant's  head  by  the 
claws  of  his  forepaws,  and  struggling  for  a  foothold  on  its 
trunk  with  his  mighty  hind  legs,  in  a  wounded  agony  of 
despair  and  vengeance.  He  would  sell  his  life  dear  ;  he 
would  have  one  or  other  of  us. 

Lord  Southminster  raised  his  rifle  again  ;  but  the  Maha- 
rajah shouted  aloud  in  an  angry  voice  :  "  Don't  fire  !  don't 
fire  !  You  will  kill  the  lady  !  You  can't  aim  at  him  like 
that.  The  beast  is  rocking  so  that  no  one  can  say  where  a 
shot  will  take  effect.     Down  with  your  gun,  sir,  instantly  !  " 

My  mahout,  unable  to  keep  his  seat  with  the  rocking,  now 
dropped  off  his  cushion  among  the  scrub  below.  He  could 
speak  a  few  words  of  Englis'i.  ' '  Shoot,  Mem  Sahib,  shoot ! ' ' 
he  cried,  flinging  his  havids  up.  Buc  I  was  tossed  to  and 
fro,  from  side  to  side,  with  my  rifle  under  my  arm.  It  was 
impo.s.sible  to  aim.     Yet  in  sheer  terror  I  tried  to  draw  the 


256 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


trigger.  I  failed  ;  but  somehow  I  caught  my  rifle  agaiust 
the  side  of  my  cage.  Something  snapped  in  it  somewhere. 
It  went  off  unexpectedly,  without  my  aiming  or  firing.     I 


IT   WKNT   OKK    UNKXI'KCTKDI.Y. 


shut  my  eyes.  When  I  opened  them  again,  I  saw  a  swim- 
ming picture  of  the  great  sullen  beast,  loosing  his  hold  on 
the  elephant.  I  .saw  his  brindled  face  ;  I  saw  his  white 
tusks.  But  his  gleaming  pupils  burned  bright  no  longer. 
His  jaw  was  full  towards  me  ;  I  had  shot  him  between  the 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  257 

eyes.  He  fell,  slowly,  with  blood  streaming  from  his  nostrils, 
and  his  tongue  lolling  out.  His  muscles  relaxed  ;  his  huge 
limbs  grew  limp.  In  a  minute,  he  lay  stretched  at  full 
length  on  the  ground,  with  his  head  on  one  side,  a  grand, 
terrible  picture. 

My  mahout  flung  up  his  hands  in  wonder  and  amazement. 
"  My  father  !  "  he  cried  aloud.  "  Truly,  the  Mem  Sahib  is 
a  great  shikari  !  " 

The  Maharajah  stretched  across  to  me.  "  That  was  a 
wonderful  shot  !  "  he  exclaimed.  "  I  could  never  have  be- 
lieved a  woman  could  show  such  nerve  and  coolness." 

Nerve  and  coolness,  indeed !  I  was  trembling  all  over  like 
an  Italian  greyhound,  every  limb  a  jelly;  and  I  had  not  even 
fired  ;  the  rifle  went  off"  of  itself  without  me.  I  am  innocent 
of  having  ever  endangered  the  life  of  a  haycock.  But  once 
more  I  dissembled.  "Yes,  it  zuas  a  difficult  shot,"  I  said 
jauntily,  as  if  I  rather  liked  tiger  hunting.  ' '  I  did  n't  think 
I  'd  hit  him."  Still  the  effect  of  my  speech  was  somewhat 
marred,  I  fear,  by  the  tears  that  in  spite  of  me  rolled  down 
my  cheek  silently. 

"  'Pon  honah,  I  nevah  saw  a  finah  piece  of  shooting  in  my 
life, ' '  Lord  Southminster  drawled  out.  Then  he  added  aside, 
in  an  undertone,  "  Makes  a  fellow  moah  determined  to  annex 
her  than  evah  !  " 

I  sat  in  my  howdah,  half  dazed.  I  hardly  heard  what 
they  were  saying.  My  heart  danced  like  the  elephant. 
Then  it  stood  still  within  me.  I  was  only  aware  of  a  feeling 
of  faintness.  Luckily  for  my  reputation  as  a  mighty  sports- 
woman, however,  I  just  managed  to  keep  up,  and  did  not 
actually  faint,  as  I  was  more  than  half  inclined  to  do. 

Next  followed  the  native  piean.     The  beaters  crowded 

•7 


25^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

round  the  fallen  beast  in  a  chorus  of  congratulation.  Many 
of  the  villagers  also  ran  out,  with  prayers  and  ejaculations, 
to  swell  our  triumph.  It  was  all  like  a  dream.  They 
hustled  round  me  and  salaamed  to  me.  A  woman  had  shot 
him  !  Wonderful  !  A  babel  of  voices  resounded  in  my 
ears.  I  was  aware  that  pure  accident  had  elevated  me  into 
a  heroine. 

"  Put  the  beast  on  a  pad  elephant,"  the  Maharajah  called 
out. 

The  beaters  tied  ropes  round  his  body  and  raised  him  with 
difficulty. 

The  Maharajah's  face  grew  stern.  "  Where  are  the 
whiskers?"  he  asked,  fiercel)-,  in  his  own  tongue,  which 
Major  Balmossie  interpreted  for  me. 

The  beaters  and  the  villagers,  bowing  low  and  expanding 
their  hands,  made  profuse  expressions  of  ignorance  and  inno- 
cence. But  the  fact  was  patent — the  grand  face  had  been 
mangled.  While  they  had  crowded  in  a  dense  group  round 
the  fallen  carcass,  somebody  had  cut  off  the  lips  and  whiskers 
and  secreted  them. 

"  They  have  ruined  the  skin  !  "  the  Maharajah  cried  out 
in  angry  tones.  "  I  intended  it  for  the  lady.  I  shall  have 
them  all  searched,  and  the  man  who  has  done  this  thing " 

He  broke  off,  and  looked  around  him.  His  silence  was 
more  terrible  by  far  than  the  fiercest  threat.  I  saw  him 
now  the  Oriental  despot.  All  the  natives  drew  back,  awe- 
struck. 

"  The  voice  of  a  king  is  the  voice  of  a  great  god,"  my 
mahout  murmured,  in  a  solenui  whisper.  Then  nobody  else 
said  anything. 

"  Why  do  they  want  the  whiskers  ?  "  I  asked,  just  to  set 


The  Magnificent  Maharajah  259 

things  straight  again.     "  The}'  seem  to  have  been  in  a  pre- 
cious hurry  to  take  them  !  " 


:   ^AW   UIM    NOW   TllK   UKIKiNTAL   DKSPOT. 

The  Maharajah's  brow  cleared.     He  turned  to  me  once 
more  with  his  Kuropean  manner.     "  A   tiger's   body   has 


26o  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

wonderful  power  after  his  death,"  he  answered.  "  His 
fangs  and  his  claws  are  very  potent  charms.  His  heart 
gives  courage.  Whoever  eats  of  it  will  never  know  fear. 
His  liver  preserves  against  death  and  pestilence.  But  the 
highest  virtue  of  all  exists  in  his  whiskers.  They  are  mighty 
talismans.  Chopped  up  in  food,  they  act  as  a  slow  poison, 
which  no  doctor  can  detect,  no  antidote  guard  against.  Tlicy 
are  also  a  sovereign  remedy  against  magic  or  the  evil  eye. 
And  administered  to  women,  they  make  an  irresistible 
philtre,  a  puissant  love-potion.  They  secure  you  the  heart 
of  whoever  drinks  them." 

"  I  'd  give  a  couple  of  monkeys  for  those  whiskahs,"  Lord 
Southminster  murmured,  half  unnoticed. 

We  began  to  move  again.  "  We  '11  go  on  to  where  we 
know  there  is  another  tiger,"  the  Maharajah  said,  lightly, 
as  if  tigers  were  partridges.  "  Miss  Cayley,  you  will  come 
with  us  ?  " 

I  rested  on  my  laurels.  (I  was  quivering  still  from  head 
to  foot.)  "  No,  thank  you,  Maharajah,"  as  unconcernedly 
as  I  could  ;  "  I  've  had  quite  enough  sport  for  my  first  day's 
tiger  hunting.  I  think  I  '11  go  back  now,  and  write  a  new.s- 
paper  account  of  this  little  adventure." 

"  You  have  had  luck,"  he  put  in.  "  Not  everyone  kills  a 
tiger  his  first  day  out.     This  will  make  good  reading." 

"  I  would  n't  have  missed  it  for  a  hundred  pounds,"  I  an- 
swered. 

"  Then  try  another." 

"  I  would  n't  try  another  for  a  thousand,"  I  cried  fer- 
vently. 

That  evening,  at  the  palace,  I  was  the  heroine  of  the  day. 
They  toasted  me  in  a  bumper  of  Heidsieck's  dry  monopole. 


The  Ma^niificcnt  Maharajah  261 

The  men  made  speeches.  Everybody  talked  gushingly  of 
my  splendid  courage  and  my  steadiness  of  hand.  It  was  a 
brilliant  shot,  under  such  difficult  circumstances.  For  my- 
self, I  said  nothing.  I  pretended  to  look  modest.  I  dared 
not  confess  the  truth — that  I  never  fired  at  all.     And  from 


IT    S   I   WHO   AM   THE   WINNAH. 


that  day  to  this  I  have  nev^er  confessed  it,  till  I  write  it 
down  now  in  these  confiding  memoirs. 

One  episode  cast  a  gloom  over  my  ill-deserved  triumph. 
In  the  course  of  the  evening,  a  telegram  arrived  for  the  pea- 
green  young  man  by  a  white-turbaned  messenger.  He  read 
it,  and  crumpled  it  up  carelessly  in  his  hand.     I  looked  en- 


262 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


quiry.  "  Yaas,"  he  answered,  nodding.  "  You  're  quite 
right.  It  's  that  !  Pooah  old  Marmy  has  gone,  aftah  all  ! 
Ezekiel  and  Habakkuk  have  carried  off  his  sixteen  stone  at 
last  !  And  I  don't  mind  telling  yah  now — though  it  was  a 
neah  thing — it  's  /who  am  the  winnah  !  " 


CHAPTER  X 


THE  ADVENTURE  OP   THE   CROSS-EYED  Q.    C. 


THK  "  cold  weather,"  as  it  is  humorously  called,  was 
now  drawing  to  a  close,  and  the  young  ladies  in 
.sailor  hats  and  cambric  blouses,  who  flock  to  India 
each  autumn  for  the  annual  marriage-market,  were  begin- 
ning to  resign  themselves  to  a  return  to  England — unless, 
of  course,  they  had  succeeded  in  "  catching."  So  I  realised 
that  I  must  hurry  on  to  Delhi  and  Agra,  if  I  were  not  to  be 
intercepted  by  the  intolerable  summer. 

When  we  started  from  MooziifFer nuggar  for  Delhi  and 
the  East,  Lord  Southminster  was  starting  for  Bombay  and 
Europe.  This  surprised  me  not  a  little,  for  he  had  confided 
to  my  unsympathetic  ear  a  few  nights  earlier,  in  the  Maha- 
rajah's billiard-room,  that  he  was  "  stony  broke,"  and  must 
wait  at  Moozuffernuggar  for  lack  of  funds  "  till  the  oof-bird 
laid"  at  his  banker's  in  England.  His  conversation  en- 
larged my  vocabulary,  at  any  rate. 

"  So  you  've  managed  to  get  away  ?  "  I  exclaimed,  as  he 
dawdled  up  to  me  at  the  hot  and  dusty  station. 

"  Yaas,"  he  drawled,  fixing  his  eye-glass,  and  lighting  a 
cigarette.  "  I  've — p'f— managed  to  get  away.  Maharaj 
seems  to  have  thought — p'f— it  would  be  cheapah  in  the  end 
to  pay  me  out  than  to  keep  me." 

263 


264 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


"  You  don't  mean  to  say  he  offered  to  lend  you  money  ?  " 
I  cried. 

"  No  ;  not  exactly  that  :  /offahed  to  borrow  it." 

''From  the  man 
you  call  a '  niggah '  ?  " 
H  i  s  smile  spread 
broader  over  his  face 
than  ever.  "Well, 
we  borrow  from  the 
Jews,  yah  know,"  he 
said  pleasantly,  "  so 
w  h,  y  the  j  o  o  c  e 
should  n't  we  borrow 
from  the  heathen, 
also  ?  Spoiling  the 
Egyptians,  don't  yah 
see  ? — the  same  as  we 
used  to  read  about  in 
the  Scripchah  when 
we  were  innocent  kid- 
dies. Like  marriage, 
quite.  You  borrow  in 
haste — and  repay  at 
leisure." 

He  strolled  off  and 
took  his  seat.     I  was 
glad  to  get  rid  of  him 
at  the  main  line  junction. 

In  accordance  with  my  usual  merciful  custom,  I  spare  you 
the  details  of  our  visit  to  Agra,  Muttra,  Benares.  At  Cal- 
cutta Elsie  left  me.     Her  health  was  now  quite  restored, 


HE  WROTE,  "I    EXPECT   YOU   TO  COME  BACK 
TO   ENGLAND  AND  MARRY   ME  !  " 


The  Cross-Eycd  O.  C.  265 

dear  little  soul — I  felt  I  had  done  that  one  good  thing  in  life, 
if  no  other — and  she  could  no  longer  withstand  the  higher 
mathematics,  which  were  beckoning  her  to  London  with  in- 
visible fingers.  For  myself,  having  so  far  accomplished  my 
original  design  of  going  round  the  world  with  twopence  in 
my  pocket,  I  could  not  bear  to  draw  back  at  half  the  circuit  ; 
and  Mr.  Elworthy  having  willingly  consented  to  my  return 
by  Singapore  and  Yokohama,  I  set  out  alone  on  my  home- 
ward journey. 

Harold  wrote  me  from  London  that  all  was  going  well. 
He  had  found  the  will  which  I  drew  up  at  Florence  in  his 
uncle's  escritoire,  and  everything  was  left  to  him  ;  but  he 
trusted,  in  spite  of  this  untoward  circumstance,  long  absence 
might  have  altered  my  determination. 

"  Dear  Lois,"  he  wrote,  "  I  expect  you  to  come  back  to 
England  and  marry  me  !  " 

I  was  brief,  but  categorical.  Nothing,  meanwhile,  had 
altered  my  resolve.  I  did  not  wish  to  be  considered  mer- 
cenary. While  he  was  rich  and  honoured,  I  could  never 
take  him.  If,  some  day,  fortune  frowned — but,  there — let 
us  not  forestall  the  feet  of  calamity;  let  us  await  con- 
tingencies. 

Still,  I  was  heavy  in  heart.  If  only  it  had  been  other- 
wise !  To  say  the  truth,  I  should  be  thrown  away  on  a 
millionaire  ;  but  just  think  what  a  splendid  managing  wife 
a  girl  like  me  would  have  made  for  a  penniless  pauper  ! 

At  Yokohama,  however,  while  I  dawdled  in  curiosity 
shops,  a  telegram  from  Harold  startled  me  into  seriousness. 
My  chance  at  last  !  I  knew  what  it  meant  ;  that  villain 
Higginson  ! 

"  Come  home  at  once.     I  want  your  evidence  to  clear  my 


266  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

character.  Southminster  opposes  the  will  as  a  forgery.  He 
has  a  strong  case  ;  the  experts  are  with  him." 

Forgery  !  That  was  clever.  I  never  thought  of  that.  I 
suspected  them  of  trying  to  forge  a  will  of  their  own  ;  but 
to  upset  the  real  one — to  throw  the  burden  of  suspicion  on 
Harold's  shoulders — how  much  subtler  and  craftier  ! 

I  saw  at  a  glance  it  gave  them  every  advantage.  In  the 
first  place,  it  put  Harold  virtually  in  the  place  of  the  ac- 
cused, and  compelled  him  to  defend  instead  of  attacking — an 
attitude  which  prejudices  people  against  one  from  the  outset. 
Then,  again,  it  implied  positive  criminality  on  his  part, 
and  so  allowed  Lord  Southminster  to  assume  the  air  of 
injured  innocence.  The  eldest  son  of  the  eldest  brother, 
unjustly  set  aside  by  the  scheming  machinations  of  an  un- 
scrupulous cousin  !  Primogeniture,  the  ingrained  Eng- 
lish love  for  keeping  up  the  dignity  of  a  noble  family,  the 
prejudice  in  favour  of  the  direct  male  line  as  against  the 
female — all  were  astutely  utilised  in  Lord  Southminster's 
interest.  But  worst  of  all,  it  was  /  who  had  typewritten 
the  will — I,  a  friend  of  Harold's,  a  woman  whom  Lord 
Southminster  would  doubtless  try  to  exhibit  as  his  fiancSc. 
I  saw  at  once  how  much  like  conspiracy  it  looked  :  Harold 
and  I  had  agreed  together  to  concoct  a  false  document,  and 
Harold  had  forged  his  uncle's  signature  to  it.  Could  a 
British  jury  doubt  when  a  Lord  declared  it  ? 

Fortunately,  I  was  just  in  time  to  catch  the  Canadian 
steamer  from  Japan  to  Vancouver.  But,  oh,  the  endless 
breadth  of  that  broad  Pacific  !  How  time  seemed  to  lag,  as 
each  day  one  rose  in  the  morning,  in  the  midst  of  space  ; 
blue  sky  overhead  ;  behind  one,  the  hard  horizon  ;  in  front 
of  one,  the  hard  horizon  ;  and  nothing  else  visible  :  then 


The  Cross-Eyed  Q.  C. 


267 


steamed  on  all  day,  to  arrive  at  night,  where  ?— why,  in  the 
midst  of  space  ;  starry  sky  overhead  ;  behind  one,  the  dim 
horizon  ;  in  front  of  one,  the  dim  horizon  ;  and  nothing  else 
visible.     The  Nile  was  child's  play  to  it. 


IT   WAS  ENDLESSLY   WEARISOME 


Day  after  day  we  steamed,  and  night  after  night  were  still 
where  we  began— in  the  centre  of  the  sea,  no  farther  from 
our  starting-point,  no  nearer  to  our  goal,  yet  for  ever  steam- 
ing. It  was  endlessly  wearisome  ;  who  could  say  what 
might  be  happening  meanwhile  in  England  ? 

At  last,  after  months,  as  it  seemed,  of  this  slow  torture. 


268  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

we  reached  Vancouver.  There,  in  the  raw,  new  town,  a 
telegram  awaited  me.  "  Glad  to  hear  you  are  coming. 
Make  all  haste.  You  may  be  just  in  time  to  arrive  for  the 
trial." 

Just  in  time!  I  would  not  waste  a  moment.  I  caught  the 
first  train  on  the  Canadian  Pacific,  and  travelled  straight 
through,  day  and  night,  to  Montreal  and  Quebec,  without 
one  hour's  interval. 

I  cannot  describe  to  you  that  journey  across  a  continent  I 
had  never  before  seen.  It  was  endless  and  hopeless.  I  only 
know  that  we  crawled  up  the  Rocky  Mountains  and  the 
Selkirk  Range,  over  spider-like  viaducts,  with  interminable 
effort,  and  that  the  prairies  were  just  the  broad  Pacific  over 
again.  They  rolled  on  for  ever.  But  we  did  reach  Quebec — 
in  time  we  reached  it ;  and  we  caught  by  an  hour  the  first 
liner  to  Liverpool. 

At  Prince's  Landing-stage  another  telegram  awaited  me. 
"  Come  on  at  once.  Case  now  proceeding.  Harold  is  in 
court.     We  need  your  evidence. — Gkorcina  Fawi.Ey." 

I  might  still  be  in  time  to  vindicate  Harold's  character. 

At  Huston,  to  mj'  surprise,  I  was  met  not  only  by  my  dear 
Cantankerous  Old  Lady,  but  also  by  my  friend,  the  magnifi- 
cent Maharajah,  dressed  this  time  in  a  frock-coat  and  silk  hat 
of  Bond  Street  glossiness. 

*'  What  has  brought  you  to  England?"  I  asked,  aston- 
ished.    "The  Jubilee?" 

He  smiled,  and  showed  his  two  fine  rows  of  white  teeth. 
"  That,  nominally.  In  reality,  the  cricket  season  (I  play 
for  Berks).  But  most  of  all,  to  see  dear  Tillington  safe 
through  this  trouble." 

"  He  's  a  brick  !  "  Lady  Georgina  cried  with  enthusiasm. 


The  Cross-Eycd  Q.  C.  269 

"  A  regular  brick,  my  dear  Lois  !  His  carriage  is  waiting 
outside  to  take  you  up  to  my  house.  He  has  stood  by 
Harold— well,  like  a  Christian  !  " 

"  Or  a  Hindoo,"  the  Maharajah  corrected,  smiling. 

"  And  how  have  you  been  all  this  time,  dear  Lady 
Georgina  ?  "  I  asked,  hardly  daring  to  enquire  about  what 
was  nearest  to  my  soul — Harold. 

The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  knitted  her  brows  in  a 
familiar  fashion.  "Oh,  my  dear,  don't  ask:  I  haven't 
known  a  happy  hour  since  you  left  me  in  Switzerland. 
Lois,  I  shall  never  be  happy  again  without  you  !  It  would 
pay  me  to  give  you  a  retaining  fee  of  a  thousand  a  year — 
honour  bright,  it  would,  I  assure  you.  What  I  've  suffered 
from  the  Gretchens  since  you  've  been  in  the  East  has  only 
been  equalled  by  what  I '  ve  suffered  from  the  Mary  Annes  and 
the  Cdlestines.  Not  a  hair  left  on  my  scalp  ;  not  one  hair, 
I  declare  to  you.  They  've  made  my  head  into  a  tabula 
rasa  for  the  various  restorers.  George  R.  Sims  and  Mrs.  S. 
A.  Allen  are  going  to  fight  it  out  between  them.  My  dear, 
I  wish  yoH  could  take  my  maid's  place  ;  I '  ve  always  said ' ' 

I  finished  the  speech  for  her.  "  A  lady  can  do  better 
whatever  she  turns  her  hand  to  than  any  of  these  hussies." 

She  nodded.  ' '  And  why  ?  Because  her  hands  arc  hands  ; 
while  as  for  the  Gretchens  and  the  Mary  Annes,  *  paws '  is 
the  only  word  one  can  honestly  apply  to  them.  Then,  on 
top  of  it  all  comes  this  trouble  about  Harold.  So  distress- 
ing, is  n't  it  ?  You  see,  at  the  point  which  the  matter  has 
reached,  it  's  simply  impossible  to  save  Harold's  reputation 
without  wrecking  Southminster's.  Pretty  position  that  for 
a  respectable  family  !  The  Ashursts  hitherto  have  been 
quite  respectable  ;  a  co-respondent  or  two,  perhaps,  but  never 


270  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

anything  serious.  Now,  either  Southminster  sends  Harold 
to  prison,  or  Harold  sends  Southminster.  There  's  a  nice 
sort  of  dilemma  !  I  always  knew  Kynaston's  boys  were 
born  fools  ;  but  to  find  they  're  born  knaves,  too,  is  hard  on 
an  old  woman  in  her  hairless  dotage.  However,  you  'vc 
come,  my  child,  and  j^«  7/  soon  set  things  right.  You  're 
the  one  person  on  earth  I  can  trust  in  this  matter." 

Harold  go  to  prison  !  My  head  reeled  at  the  thought.  I 
staggered  out  into  the  open  air,  and  took  my  seat  mechani- 
cally in  the  Maharajah's  carriage.  All  London  swam  before 
me.  After  so  many  months'  absence,  the  polychromatic 
decorations  of  our  English  streets,  looming  up  through  the 
smoke,  seemed  both  strange  and  familiar.  I  drove  through 
the  first  half-mile  with  a  vague  consciousness  that  Lipton's 
tea  is  the  perfection  of  cocoa  and  matchless  for  the  com- 
plexion, but  that  it  dyes  all  colours,  and  won't  wash 
clothes. 

After  a  while,  however,  I  woke  up  to  the  full  terror  of  the 
situation.     "  Where  are  you  taking  me  ?  "  I  enquired. 

"  To  my  house,  dear,"  Lady  Georgina  answered,  looking 
anxiously  at  me  ;  for  my  face  was  bloodless. 

*'  No,  that  won't  do,"  I  answered.  "  My  cue  must  be 
now  to  keep  myself  as  aloof  as  possible  from  Harold  and 
Harold's  backers.  I  must  put  up  at  an  hotel.  It  will  sound 
so  much  better  in  cross-examination." 

"  She  's  quite  right,"  the  Maharajah  broke  in,  with  sud- 
den conviction.  "  One  must  block  every  ball  with  these 
nasty  swift  bowlers," 

"  Where  's  Harold  ? "  I  asked,  after  another  pause. 
"  Why  did  n't  he  come  to  meet  me  ?  " 

"  My  dear,  how  could  he  ?     He  's  under  examination.     A 


The  Cross-llyed  Q.  C.  271 

cross-eyed  Q.  C.  with  an  odious  leer.  Southminster  's  chosen 
the  biggest  bully  at  the  Bar  to  support  his  contention." 

"  Drive  to  some  hotel  in  the  Jenny n  Street  district,"  I  cried 
to  the  Maharajah's  coachman.  "  That  will  be  handy  for  the 
law  courts." 

He  touched  his  hat  and  turned.  In  a  sort  of  dickey  be- 
hind sat  two  gorgeous,  turbaned  Rajput  servants. 

That  evening  Harold  came  round  to  visit  me  at  my  rooms. 
I  could  see  he  was  much  agitated.  Things  had  gone  very 
badly.  Lady  Georgina  was  there  ;  she  had  stopped  to  dine 
with  me,  dear  old  thing,  lest  I  .should  feel  lonely  and  give 
way  ;  so  had  Elsie  Petheridge.  Mr.  Elworthy  sent  a  tele- 
gram of  welcome  from  Devonshire.  I  knew  at  least  that  my 
friends  were  rallying  round  me  in  this  hour  of  trial.  The 
kind  Maharajah  himself  would  have  come  too,  if  I  had  al- 
lowed him,  but  I  thought  it  inexpedient.  They  explained 
everything  to  me.  Harold  had  propounded  Mr.  Ashurst's 
will — the  one  I  drew  up  at  Florence — and  had  asked  for 
probate.  Lord  Southminster  intervened  and  opposed  the 
grant  of  probate  on  the  ground  that  the  signatures  were 
forgeries.  He  propounded  instead  another  will,  drawn 
some  twenty  years  earlier,  when  they  were  both  children, 
duly  executed  at  the  time,  and  undoubtedly  genuine  ;  in  it, 
testator  left  everything  without  reserve  to  the  eldest  son  of 
his  eldest  brother.  Lord  Kynaston. 

"  Manny  did  n't  know  in  those  days  that  Kynaston' s  sons 
would  all  grow  up  fools,"  Lady  Georgina  said  tartly.  "  Be- 
sides which,  that  was  before  the  poor  dear  soul  took  to 
plunging  on  the  Stock  Exchange  and  made  his  money. 
He  had  nothing  to  leave,  then,  but  his  best  silk  hat  and 
a  few  paltry  hundreds.     Afterwards,  when  he  'd  feathered 


1\,  L  _..L  ■ 


2  72  Miss  Cay  ley's  Adventures 

his  nest  in  soap  and  cocoa,  he  discovered  that  Bertie — that 's 
Lord  Southniinster — was  a  first-class  idiot.  Marmy  never 
liked  Southniinster,  nor  Southniinster,  Mami}-.  For  after 
all,  with  all  his  faults,  Mumij'  tvas  a  gentleman  ;  while 
Bertie — well,  my  dear,  we  need  n't  put  a  name  to  it.  So  he 
altered  his  will,  as  you  know,  when  he  sav.^  the  sort  of  man 
Southniinster  turned  out,  and  left  practically  everything  he 
possessed  to  Harold." 

"  Who  are  the  witnesses  to  the  will  ?  "  I  asked. 

•'  There  's  the  trouble.  Who  do  you  think  ?  Why, 
Higginson's  sister,  who  was  Manny's  masseuse,  and  a  waiter 
— Franz  Markheim — at  the  hotel  at  Florence,  who  's  dead, 
they  say — or,  at  least,  not  forthcoming." 

"  And  Higginson's  sister  forswears  her  signature,"  Harold 
added  gloomily;  "  while  the  experts  are,  most  of  them,  dead 
against  the  genuineness  of  my  uncle's." 

"  That  's  clever,"  I  said,  leaning  back,  and  taking  it  in 
slowly.  "  Higginson's  sister  !  How  well  they  've  worked 
it!  They  could  n't  prevent  Mr.  Ashurst  from  making  his 
will,  but  they  managed  to  supply  their  own  tainted  witnesses! 
If  it  had  been  Higginson  himself,  now,  he  'd  have  had  to  be 
cross-examined  ;  and  in  cross-examination,  of  course,  we 
could  have  shaken  his  credit,  by  bringing  up  the  episodes 
of  the  Count  de  Laroche-sur-Loiret  and  Dr.  Fortescue- 
Langley.  But  his  sister  !  What  's  she  like  ?  Have  you 
anything  against  her  ?  " 

"  My  dear,"  Lady  Georgina  cried,  "  there  the  rogue  has 
bested  us.  Is  n't  it  just  like  him  ?  What  do  you  suppose 
he  has  done  ?  Why,  provided  himself  with  a  sister  of  tried 
respectability  and  blameless  character." 

*'  And  she  denies  that  it  is  her  handwriting  ?  "  I  asked. 


The  Cross-Eyed  Q.  C.  273 

"  Declares  on  her  Bible  oath  she  never  signed  the  docu- 
ment !  " 

I  was  fairly  puzzled.  It  was  a  stupendously'  clever  dodge. 
Higginson  must  have  trained  up  his  sister  for  forty  years  in 
the  ways  of  wickedness,  yet  held  her  in  reserve  for  this 
supreme  moment. 

"  And  where  is  Higginson  ?  "  I  asked. 

Lady  Georgina  broke  into  a  hysterical  laugh.  "  Where 
is  he,  my  dear  ?  That  's  the  question.  With  consummate 
strategy,  the  wretch  has  disappeared  into  space  at  the  last 
moment." 

"  That 's  artful  again,"  I  said.  "  His  presence  could  only 
damage  their  case.  I  can  see,  of  course,  Lord  Southminster 
has  no  need  of  him." 

"  Southminster  's  the  wiliest  fool  that  ever  lived,"  Harold 
broke  out  bitterly.  "  Under  that  mask  of  imbecility,  he  's  a 
fox  for  trickiness." 

I  bit  my  lip.  *'  Well,  if  you  succeed  in  evading  him,"  I 
said,  "  you  will  have  cleared  your  character.  And  if  you 
don't — then,  Harold,  our  time  will  have  come  ;  you  will 
have  your  longed-for  chance  of  trying  me. ' ' 

"  That  won't  do  me  much  good,"  he  answered,  "  if  I  have 
to  wait  fourteen  years  for  you — at  Portland." 

Next  morning,  in  court,  I  heard  Harold's  cross-examina- 
tion. He  described  exactly  where  he  had  found  the  con- 
tested will  in  his  uncle's  escritoire.  The  cross-eyed  Q.  C,  a 
heavy  man  with  bloated  features  and  a  bulbous  nose,  begged 
him,  with  one  fat  uplifted  forefinger,  to  be  very  careful. 
How  did  he  know  where  to  look  for  it  ? 

"  Because  I  knew  the  house  well  :  I  knew  where  my  uncle 

was  likely  to  keep  his  valuables." 

18 


2  74  Miss  Cayley*s  Adventures 

"  Oh,  indeed  ;  not  l>ecause  you  had  put  it  there  ?  " 
The  court  rang  with  laughter.     My  face  grew  crimson. 
After  an  hour  or  two  of  fencing,  Harold  was  dismissed. 
He  stood  down,   baffled.      Coun.sel   recalled   Lord  South- 
minster. 


THE  CROSS-EYEI>  O.  C.  BEGGED  HIM  TO  UK  VERY  CAREFUL. 

The  pea-green  young  man,  stepping  briskly  up,  gazed 
about  him,  open-mouthed,  with  a  vacant  stare.  The  look 
of  cunning  on  his  face  was  carefully  suppressed.  He  wore, 
on  the  contrar}-,  an  air  of  injured  innocence  combined  with 
an  eye-glass. 

"  Yon  did  not  put  this  will  in  the  drawer  where  Mr.  Tilling- 
ton  found  it,  did  you  ?  "*  counsel  asked. 


The  Cross-Eycd  O.  C.  275 

The  pea-green  young  man  laughed.  "  No,  I  certainly 
did  n't  put  it  theah.  My  cousin  Harold  was  man  in  posses- 
sion. He  took  jolly  good  care  /  did  n't  come  neah  the 
premises." 

"  Do  you  think  you  could  forge  a  will  if  you  tried  ?  " 

Lord  Southminster  laughed.  "  No,  I  don't,"  heanswefed, 
with  a  well-assumed  naivdi.  "  That  's  just  the  difference 
between  us,  don't  yah  know,  /'w  what  they  call  a  fool,  and 
my  cousin  Harold  's  a  precious  clevah  fellah." 

There  was  another  loud  laugli, 

"  That  's  not  evidence,"  the  judge  obser\'ed,  severely. 

It  was  not.  But  it  told  far  more  than  much  that  was.  It 
told  strongly  against  Harold. 

"  Besides,"  Lord  Southminster  continued,  with  engaging 
frankness,  "  if  I  forged  a  will  at  all,  I  'd  take  jolly  good  care 
to  forge  it  in  my  own  favah." 

My  turn  came  next.  Our  counsel  handed  me  the  incrimi- 
nated will.     "  Did  you  draw  up  this  document  ?  "  he  asked. 

I  looked  at  it  closely.  The  paper  bore  our  Florentine 
water-mark,  and  was  written  with  a  Spread-Kagle.  "  I 
typewrote  it,"  I  answered,  gazing  at  it  with  care  to  make 
sure  I  recognised  it. 

Our  counsel's  business  was  to  uphold  the  will,  not  to  ca.st 
aspersions  upon  it.  He  was  evidently  annoyed  at  my  close 
examination.  "You  have  no  doubts  about  it?"  he  said, 
trying  to  prompt  me. 

I  hesitated.  "  No,  no  doubts,"  I  answered,  turning  over 
the  sheet  and  inspecting  it  still  closer.  "  I  typewrote  it  at 
Florence." 

"  Do  you  recognise  that  signature  as  Mr.  Marmaduke 
Ashurst's  ?  "  he  went  on. 


2/6  Miss  Cay  ley's  Acl  ventures 

I  stared  at  it.  Was  it  his  ?  It  was  like  it,  certainly.  Yet 
that  /• .''  and  tho.se  s'a  ?     I  almost  wondered. 

Conn.sel  was  obviously  annoyed  at  my  hesitation.  He 
thought  I  was  playijig  into  the  enemy's  hand.s.  "  Is  it  his, 
or  is  it  not  ?  "  he  enquired  again,  testily. 

"  It  is  his,"  I  answered.     Yet  I  own  I  was  troubled. 

He  a.sked  many  questions  about  the  circumstances  of  the 
interview  when  I  took  down  the  will.  I  answered  them  all. 
But  I  vaguely  felt  he  and  I  were  at  cross- i)nrpo.ses.  I  grew 
almost  as  uncomfortable  under  his  gaze  as  if  he  had  l)een 
examining  me  in  the  interest  of  the  other  side.  He  managed 
to  fluster  me.  As  a  witness  for  Harold,  I  was  a  grotesque 
failure. 

Then  the  cro.ss-eyed  Q.  C,  rising  and  shaking  his  huge 
bulk,  began  to  cro.ss-examine  me.  "  Where  did  you  type- 
write this  thing,  do  you  say  ?  "  he  said,  pointing  to  it  con- 
temptuously. 

"  In  my  office  at  Florence." 

"  Yes,  I  understand  ;  you  had  an  office  at  Florence — after 
you  gave  up  retailing  bicycles  on  the  public  roads  ;  and  you 
had  a  partner,  I  think — a  Miss  Petherick,  or  Petherton,  or 
Pennyfarthing,  or  something  ?  " 

"  Miss  Petheridge,"  I  corrected,  while  the  court  tittered. 

"  Ah,  Petheridge,  you  call  it  !  W^ell,  now,  answer 
this  question  carefully.  Did  your  Miss  Petheridge  hear 
Mr.  Ashurst  dictate  the  terms  of  his  last  will  and  testa- 
ment ?  " 

"  No,"  I  answered.  "  The  interview  was  of  a  strictly 
confidential  character.  Mr.  Ashurst  took  me  aside  into  the 
back  room  at  our  office." 

"  Oh,  he  took  you  aside  ?    Confidential  ?    Well,  now  we  're 


The  Cross-Eycd  Q.  C. 


2/7 


gettinj;  at  it.     And  did  anybody  hut  yourself  see  or  hear  any 
l)art  whatsoever  of  this  precious  document  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not,"  I  repHed.     "  It  was  a  private  matter." 

*'  Private!  oh,  very  !  Nobody 
else  saw  it.  Did  Mr.  Ashur.st 
take  it  away  from  the  office  in 
person  ? 


I    WAS   A   CJROTESgUE  FAILURE. 

**  No  ;  he  sent  his  courier  for  it." 

'*  His  courier  ?     The  man  Higgin.son  ?  " 

**  Yes  ;  but  I  refused  to  give  it  to  Higginson.  I  took  it 
my.self  that  night  to  the  liotcl  where  Mr.  Ashurst  was 
stopping." 


2/S  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  Ah  !  You  took  it  yourself.  So  the  only  other  person 
who  knows  anything  at  first  hand  about  the  existence  of  the 
alleged  will  is  this  person  Higginson  ?  " 

"  Miss  Petheridge  knows,"  I  said,  flushing.  "  At  the 
time,  I  told  her  of  it." 

"  Oh,  voii  told  her.  Well,  that  does  n't  help  us  much. 
If  what  you  are  swearing  is  n't  true — remember,  you  are  on 
your  oath — what  you  told  Miss  Petherick  or  Petheridge  or 
Penny  farthing,  '  at  the  time,'  can  hardly  be  regarded  as 
corroborative  evidence.  Your  word  then  and  your  word 
now  are  just  equally  valuable — or  equally  worthless.  The 
only  person  who  knows  beside  3'ourself  is  Higginson.  Now, 
I  ask  you,  ichcrc  is  Higginson  ?  Arc  you  going  to  produce 
him  ?  " 

The  wicked  cunning  of  it  struck  me  dumb.  They  were 
keeping  him  away,  and  then  using  his  absence  to  cast  doubts 
on  my  veracity.  ' '  Stop !  "  I  cried,  taken  aback.  * '  Higginson 
is  well  known  to  be  a  rogue,  and  he  is  keeping  away  lest  he 
may  damage  your  side.     I  know  nothing  of  Higginson." 

"  Yes,  I  'm  coming  to  that  in  good  time.  Don't  be  afraid 
that  we  're  going  to  pass  over  Higginson.  You  admit  this 
man  is  a  man  of  bad  character.  Now,  what  do  j'ou  know  of 
him?" 

I  told  the  stories  of  the  Count  and  of  Dr.  Fortescue- 
Langley. 

The  cross-eyed  cross-examiner  leant  across  towards  me 
and  leered.  "  And  this  is  the  man,"  he  exclaimed,  with  a 
triumphant  air,."  whose  sister  you  pretended  you  had  got  to 
sign  this  precious  document  of  yours  ?  " 

"  Whom  Mr.  Ashurst  got  to  sign  it,"  I  aiiswered,  red-hot, 
"  It  is  not  my  document." 


The  Cross-nyed  (J.  C.  279 


<( 


And  you  have  heard  that  she  swears  it  is  not  her  signa- 
ture at  all?" 

"  So  they  tell  me.  She  is  Higginson's  sister.  For  all  I 
know,  she  may  be  prepared  to  swear,  or  to  forswear,  any- 
thing." 

"  Don't  cast  doubt  upon  our  witnesses  without  cause  ! 
Miss  Higginson  is  an  eminently  respectable  woman.  You 
gave  this  document  to  Mr.  Ashurst,  you  say.  There  your 
knowledge  of  it  ends.  A  signature  is  placed  on  it  which  is 
not  his,  as  our  experts  testify.  It  purports  to  be  witnessed 
by  a  Swiss  waiter,  who  is  not  forthcoming,  and  who  is  as- 
serted to  be  dead,  as  well  as  by  a  nurse  who  denies  her 
signature.  And  the  only  other  person  who  knows  of  its  ex- 
istence before  Mr.  Tillington  '  discovers '  it  in  his  uncle's 
desk  is — the  missing  man  Higginson.  Is  that,  or  is  it  not, 
the  truth  of  the  matter  ?  " 

"  I  suppose  so,"  I  said,  baffled. 

"  Well,  now,  as  to.  this  man  Higginson.  He  first 
appears  upon  the  scene,  so  far  as  you  are  concerned, 
on  the  day  when  you  travelled  from  London  to  Schlang- 
enbad?" 

"  That  is  so,"  I  answered. 

"  And  he  nearly  succeeded  then  in  stealing  Lady  Georgina 
Fawley's  jewel-case  ?  " 

"  He  nearly  took  it,  but  I  saved  it."  And  I  explained 
the  circumstance. 

The  cross-eyed  Q.  C.  held  his  fat  sides  with  his  hands, 
looking  incredulously  at  me,  and  smiled.  His  vast  width 
of  waistcoat  shook  with  silent  merriment.  "  You  are  a  very 
clever  young  lady, ' '  he  murmured.  ' '  You  can  explain  away 
anything.     But  don't  you  think  it  just  as  likely  that  it  was 


28o  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

a  plot  between  you  two,  and  that,  owing  to  some  mistake,  the 
plot  came  off  unsuccessful  ? ' ' 

"  I  do  not,"  I  cried,  crimson.  "  I  never  saw  the  Count 
before  that  morning." 

He  tried  another  tack.  "  Still,  wherever  you  went,  this 
man  Higginson — the  only  other  person,  you  admit,  who 
knows  about  the  previous  existence  of  the  will — turned  up 
simultaneously.  He  was  always  turning  up — at  the  same 
place  that  you  did.  He  turned  up  at  Lucerne,  as  a  faith- 
healer,  did  n't  he?" 

"  If  you  will  allow  me  to  explain,"  I  cried,  biting  my  lip. 

He  bowed,  all  blandness.  ' '  Oh,  certainly,"  he  murmured. 
"  Explain  away  everything  !  " 

I  explained,  but  of  course  he  had  discounted  and  damaged 
my  explanation. 

He  made  no  comment.  "  And  then,"  he  went  on,  with 
his  hands  on  his  hips,  and  his  obtrusive  rotundity,  "  he 
turned  up  at  Florence,  as  courier  to  Mr.  Ashurst,  at  the 
very  date  when  this  so-called  will  was  being  concocted  ?  " 

"  He  was  at  Florence  when  Mr.  Ashurst  dictated  it  to 
me,"  I  answered,  growing  desperate. 

"  You  admit  he  was  in  Florence.  Good  !  Once  more  he 
turned  up  in  India  with  my  client,  Lord  Southminster,  upon 
whose  j'outh  and  inexperience  he  had  managed  to  impose 
himself.  And  he  carried  him  off,  did  he  not,  bj'  one  of  these 
strange  coincidences  to  which  j'ou  are  peculiarly  liable,  on 
the  very  same  steamer  on  which /^«  happened  to  be  travel- 
ling ?  " 

"  Lord  Southminster  told  me  he  took  Higginson  with  him 
because  a  rogue  suited  his  book,"  I  answered,  warmly. 

*'  Will  you  swear  his  lordship  did  n't  say  '  i/ie  rogue  suited 


The  Cross-Hycd  Q.  C.  281 

his  book  ' — which  is  quite  another  thing  ?  "  the  Q.  C.  asked 
blandly. 

"  I  will  swear  he  did  not,"  I  replied.  "  I  have  correctly 
reported  him." 

'  Then  I  congratulate  you,  young  lady,  on  your  excellent 
memory.  My  lud,  will  you  allow  me  later  to  recall  Lord 
Southminster  to  testify  on  this  point  ? ' ' 

The  judge  nodded. 

"  Now,  once  more,  as  to  your  relations  with  the  various 
members  of  the  Ashurst  family.  You  introduced  yourself  to 
Lady  Georgina  Fawlcy,  I  believe,  quite  casually,  on  a  seat 
in  Kensington  Gardens  ?  " 

"  That  is  true,"  I  answered. 

"  You  had  never  seen  her  before  ?  " 

"  Never." 

"  And  you  promptly  offered  to  go  as  her  lady's  maid  to 
Schlangenbad  in  Germany  ?  " 

"  In  place  of  her  lady's  maid,  for  one  week,"  I  answered. 

"  Ah  ;  a  delicate  distinction  !  '  In  place  of  her  lady's 
maid.'  You  are  a  lady,  I  believe  ;  an  officer's  daughter, 
you  told  us  ;  educated  at  Girton  ?  " 

"  So  I  have  said  already,"  I  replied,  crimson. 

**  And  you  stick  to  it  ?  By  all  means.  Tell — the  truth — 
and  vStick  to  it.  It  's  always  safest.  Now,  don't  you  think 
it  was  rather  an  odd  thing  for  an  officer's  daughter  to  do — 
to  run  about  Germany  as  maid  to  a  lady  of  title  ?  " 

I  tried  to  explain  once  more  ;  but  the  jury  smiled.  You 
can't  justify  originality  to  a  British  jury.  Why,  they  would 
send  you  to  prison  for  that  alone,  if  they  made  the  laws  as 
well  as  dispensing  them. 

He  passed  on  after  a  while  to  another  topic.     "  I  think 


282  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

you  have  boasted  more  than  once  in  societj-  that  when  you 
first  met  Lady  Georgina  Fawley  you  had  twopence  in  your 
pocket  to  go  round  the  world  with  ? ' ' 

"  I  had,"  I  answered—"  and  I  went  round  the  world  with 
it." 

"  Exactly.  I  'm  getting  there  in  time.  With  it  and 
other  things.  A  few  months  later,  more  or  less,  you  were 
touring  up  the  Nile  in  your  steam  dahabeah,  and  in  the  lap 
of  luxury-  ;  you  were  taking  saloon-carriages  on  Indian  rail- 
ways, were  n't  j'ou  ?  " 

I  explained  again.  "  The  dahabeah  was  in  the  service  of 
the  Daily  Telephone'''  I  answered,     "  I  became  a  journalist." 

He  cross-questioned  me  about  that.  "  Then  I  am  to 
understand,"  he  said  at  last,  leaning  forward  with  all  his 
waistcoat,  "  that  you  sprang  yourself  upon  Mr.  Klworthy  at 
sight,  prettj'  much  as  you  sprang  yourself  upon  L,ady  Geor- 
gina Fawley  ?  " 

"We  arranged  matters  quickly,"  I  admitted.  The  dex- 
terous wretch  was  making  my  strongest  points  all  tell  against 
me. 

"  H'm  !  Well,  he  was  a  man  ;  and  you  will  admit,  I  sup- 
pose," fingering  his  smooth  fat  chin,  "  that  you  are  a  lady 
of^what  is  the  stock  phrase  the  reporters  use  ? — consider- 
able personal  attractions  ?  " 

"  My  Lord,"  I  said,  turning  to  the  Bench,  "  I  appeal  to 
3-ou.  Has  he  the  right  to  compel  me  to  answer  that 
question  ?  " 

The  judge  bowed  slightly.  "  The  question  requires  no 
answer,"  he  said,  with  a  quiet  emphasis.  I  burned  bright 
scarlet. 

"  Well,  my  lud,  I  defer  to  your  ruling,"  the  cross-eyed 


284 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


cross-examiner  continued,  radiant.  "  I  go  on  to  another 
point.  When  in  India,  I  believe,  you  stopped  for  some  time 
as  a  guest  in  the  house  of  a  native  maharajah." 


THE  QUESTION   REQUIRES   NO   ANSWER,      HE  SAID. 


"  Is  that  matter  relevant  ?  "  the  judge  asked,  sharply. 

"  My  lud,"  the  Q.  C.  said,  in  his  blandest  voice,  "  I  am 
striving  to  suggest  to  the  jury  that  this  lad} — the  only  per- 
son who  ever  beheld  this  so-called  will  till  Mr.  Harold 
Tillington — described   in   its  terms  as  '  Younger  of  Gled- 


The  Cross-Eycd  (J.  C.  2S5 

cliffe,'  whatever  that  may  be — produced  it  out  of  his  uncle's 
desk — I  am  striving  to  suggest  that  this  lady  is — my  duty  to 
my  client  compels  me  to  say — an  adventuress." 

He  had  uttered  the  word.  I  felt  my  character  had  not  a 
leg  left  to  stand  upon  before  a  British  jury. 

"  I  went  there  with  my  friend,  Miss  Petheridge "  I 

began. 

"  Oh,  Miss  Petheridge  once  more — you  hunt  in  couples  ?  " 

"  Accompanied  and  chaperoned  by  a  married  lady,  the 
wife  of  a  Major  Balmossie,  on  the  Bombay  Staff  Corps." 

"  That  was  certainly  prudent.  One  ought  to  be  chape- 
roned.    Can  you  produce  the  lady  ?  " 

"  How  is  it  possible  ?  "  I  cried.  "  Mrs.  Balmossie  is  in 
India." 

"  Yes;  but  the  Maharajah,  I  understand,  is  in  London  ?  " 

"  That  is  true,"  I  answered. 

"  And  he  came  to  meet  you  on  your  arrival  yesterday." 

"  With  Lady  Georgina  Fawley,"  I  cried,  taken  off  my 
guard. 

"  Do  you  not  consider  it  curious,"  he  asked,  "  that  these 
Higginsons  and  these  maharajahs  should  happen  to  follow 
you  so  closely  round  the  world  ? — should  happen  to  turn  up 
wherever  you  do  ?  " 

"  He  came  to  be  present  at  this  trial,"  I  exclaimed. 

"  And  so  did  you.  I  believe  he  met  you  at  Euston  last 
night,  and  drove  you  to  your  hotel  in  his  private  carriage." 

*'  With  Lady  Georgina  Fawley,"  I  answered,  once  more. 

"  And  Lady  Georgina  is  on  Mr.  Tillington's  side,  I  fancy  ? 
Ah  yes,  I  thought  so.  And  Mr.  Tillington  also  called  to  see 
you  ;  and  likewise  Miss  Petherick — I  beg  your  pardon, 
Petheridge.      We  must  be  strictly   accurate — where  Miss 


286  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

Petlieridge  is  concerned.  And,  in  fact,  you  had  quite  a  little 
family  party."  > 

"  My  friends  were  glad  to  see  me  back  again,"  I  mur- 
mured. 

He  sprang  a  fresh  innuendo.  "  But  Mr.  Tillington  did 
not  resent  your  visit  to  this  gallant  Maharajah  ?  " 

"  Certainly  not,"  I  cried,  bridling.  "  Why  should 
he?" 

"  Oh,  we  're  getting  to  that  too.  Now  answer  me  this 
carefully.  We  want  to  find  out  what  interest  you  might 
have,  supposing  a  will  were  forged,  on  either  side,  in  arrang- 
ing its  terms.  We  want  to  find  out  just  who  would  benefit 
by  it.  Please  reply  to  this  question,  yes  or  no,  without  pre- 
varication. Are  you  or  are  you  not  conditionally  engaged 
to  Mr.  Harold  Tillington  ?  " 

"  If  I  might  explain "  I  began,  quivering. 

He  sneered.  "  You  have  a  genius  for  explaining,  we  are 
aware.  Answer  me  first,  yes  or  no  ;  we  will  qualify  after- 
ward." 

I  glanced  appealingly  at  the  judge.  He  was  adamant. 
"  Answer  as  counsel  directs  you,  witness,"  he  said,  sternly. 

"  Yes,  I  am,"  I  faltered.     "  But " 

"  Excuse  me  one  moment.  You  promised  to  marry  him 
conditionally  upon  the  result  of  Mr.  Ashurst's  testamentary 
dispositions  ?  " 

"  I  did,"  I  answered  ;  "  but " 

My  explanation  was  drowned  in  roars  of  laughter,  in 
which  the  judge  joined,  in  spite  of  himself.  When  the  mirth 
in  court  had  subsided  a  little,  I  went  on  :  "I  told  Mr.  Till- 
ington I  would  only  marry  him  in  case  he  was  poor  and 
without  expectations.      If   he   inherited   Mr.    Marmaduke 


The  Cross-Eyed  (j.  C.  287 

Ashiirst's  money,  I  could  never  be  his  wife."  I  said  it 
proudly. 

The  cross-eyed  Q.  C.  drew  himself  up  and  let  his  rotundity 
take  care  of  itself.  "  Do  you  take  me,"  he  enquired,  "  for 
one  of  Her  Majesty's  horse-marines  ?  " 

There  was  another  roar  of  laughter — feebly  suppressed  by 
a  judicial  frown — and  I  slank  away,  annihilated. 

"  You  can  go,"  my  persecutor  said.  "  I  think  we  have 
got — well,  everything  we  wanted  from  you.  You  promised 
to  marry  him,  if  all  went  ill  !  That  is  a  delicate  feminine 
way  of  putting  it.  Women  like  these  equivocations.  They 
relieve  one  from  the  onus  of  .speaking  frankly." 

I  stood  down  from  the  box,  feeling,  for  the  fir.st  time  in 
ni}'  life,  conscious  of  having  scored  an  ignominious  failure. 

Our  counsel  did  not  care  to  re-examine  me  ;  I  recognised 
that  it  would  be  useless.  The  hateful  Q.  C.  had  put  all  mj' 
history  in  such  an  odious  light  that  explanation  could  only 
make  matters  worse — it  must  savour  of  apology.  The  jury 
could  never  understand  my  point  of  view.  It  could  never 
be  made  to  see  that  there  are  adventuresses  and  advent- 
uresses. 

Then  came  the  final  speeches  on  either  side.  Harold's 
advocate  said  the  best  he  could  in  favour  of  the  will  our 
party  propounded  ;  but  his  best  was  bad  ;  and  what  galled 
me  most  was  this — I  could  see  he  himself  did  not  believe  in 
its  genuineness.  His  speech  amounted  to  little  more  than 
a  perfunctory  attempt  to  put  the  most  favourable  tace  on  a 
probable  forgery. 

As  for  the  cro.ss-eyed  Q.  C,  he  rose  to  reply  with  humor- 
ous confidence.  Swaying  his  big  body  to  and  fro,  he 
crumpled  our  will  and  our  case  in  his  fat  fingers  like  so 


288  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

much  flimsy  tissue-paper.  Mr.  Ashurst  had  made  a  dis- 
position of  his  property  twenty  years  ago — the  right  dispo- 
sition, the  natural  disposition  ;  he  had  left  the  bulk  of  it  as 
childless  English  gentlemen  have  ever  been  wont  to  leave 
their  wealth — to  the  eldest  son  of  the  eldest  son  of  his  famil}-. 
The  Honourable  Marmaduke  Courtney  Ashurst,  the  testator, 
was  the  scion  of  a  great  house,  which  recent  agricultural 
changes,  he  regretted  to  say,  had  relatively  impoverished  ; 
he  had  come  to  the  succour  of  that  great  house,  as  such  a 
scion  should,  with  his  property  acquired  by  honest  industry 
elsewhere.  It  was  fitting  and  reasonable  that  Mr.  Ashurst 
should  wish  to  see  the  Kynaston  peerage  regain,  in  the  per- 
son of  the  amiable  and  accomplished  young  nobleman  whom 
he  had  the  honour  to  represent,  some  portion  of  its  ancient 
dignity  and  splendour. 

But  jealousy  and  greed  inter\'ened.  (Here  he  frowned  at 
Harold.)  Mr.  Harold  Tillington,  the  son  of  one  of  Mr. 
Ashurst's  married  sisters,  cast  longing  eyes,  as  he  had  tried 
to  suggest  to  them,  on  his  cousin  Lord  Southminster's  natural 
heritage.  The  result,  he  feared,  was  an  unnatural  intrigue. 
Mr.  Harold  Tillington  formed  the  acquaintance  of  a  young 
lady — should  we  say  j'oung  lady  ?  (he  withered  me  with 
his  glance) — well,  yes,  a  lady,  indeed,  by  birth  and  education, 
but  an  adventuress  by  choice — a  lady  who,  brought  up  in  a 
respectable,  though  not  (he  must  admit)  a  distinguished 
sphere,  had  lowered  herself  by  accepting  the  position  of  a 
lady's  maid,  and  had  trafficked  in  patent  American  cycles 
on  the  public  highroads  of  Germany  and  Switzerland.  This 
clever  and  designing  woman  (he  would  grant  her  ability — he 
would  grant  her  good  looks)  had  fascinated  Mr.  Tillington 
— that  was  the  theory  he  ventured  to  lay  before  the  jury  to- 


The  Cross-Eyed  Q.  C.  289 

day  ;  and  the  jury  would  see  for  themselves  that  whatever 
else  the  young  lady  might  be,  she  had  distinctly  a  certain 
outer  gift  of  fascination.  It  was  for  them  to  decide  whether 
Miss  I^ois  Cayley  had  or  had  not  suggested  to  Mr.  Harold 
Tillington  the  design  of  substituting  a  forged  will  for  Mr. 
Marniaduke  Ashurst's  undeniable  testament.  He  would 
point  out  to  them  her  singular  connection  with  the  missing 
man  Higginson,  whom  the  young  lady  herself  described  as 
a  rogue,  and  from  whom  she  had  done  her  very  best  to  dis- 
sociate herself  in  this  court — but  ineffectually.  Wherever 
Miss  Cayley  went,  the  man  Higginson  went  independently. 
Such  frequent  recurrences,  such  apt  juxtapositions,  could 
hardly  be  set  down  to  mere  accidental  coincidence. 

He  went  on  to  insinuate  that  Higginson  and  I  had  con- 
cocted the  disputed  will  between  us  ;  that  we  had  passed  it 
on  to  our  fellow-conspirator,  Harold  ;  and  that  Harold  had 
forged  his  uncle's  signature  to  it,  and  had  appended  those  of 
the  two  supposed  witnesses.  But  who,  now,  were  these  wit- 
nesses ?  One,  Franz  Markheim,  was  dead  or  missing  ;  dead 
men  tell  no  tales  :  the  other  was  obviously  suggested  by 
Higginson.  It  was  his  own  sister.  Perhaps  he  forged  her 
name  to  the  document.  Doubtless  he  thought  that  family 
feeliug  would  induce  her,  when  it  came  to  the  pinch,  to  ac- 
cept and  endorse  her  brother's  lie  ;  nay,  he  might  even  have 
been  foolish  enough  to  suppose  that  this  cock-and-bull  will 
would  not  be  disputed.  If  so,  he  and  his  master  had  reck- 
oned without  Lord  Southminster,  a  gentleman  who  concealed 
beneath  the  careless  exterior  of  a  man  of  fashion  the  solid 
intelligence  of  a  man  of  affairs,  and  the  hard  head  of  a  man 
not  to  be  lightly  cheated  in  matters  of  business. 

The  alleged  will  had  thus  not  a  leg  to  stand  upon.     It  was 

•9 


290  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

"  typewritten  "  (save  the  mark  !)  "  from  dictation  "  at 
Florence,  by  whom  ?  By  the  lady  who  had  most  to  gain 
from  its  success — the  lady  who  was  to  be  transformed  from  a 
shady  adventuress,  tossed  about  between  Irish  doctors  and 
Hindoo  maharajahs,  into  the  lawful  wife  of  a  wealthy  dip- 
lomatist of  noble  family,  on  one  condition  only — if  this 
pretended  will  could  be  satisfactorily  established.  The  sig- 
natures were  forgeries,  as  shown  by  the  expert  evidence, 
and  also  bj'  the  oath  of  the  one  surviving  witness. 

The  will  left  all  the  estate — practically — to  Mr.  Harold 
Tillington,  and  five  hundred  pounds  to  whom  ? — why,  to  the 
accomplice  Higginson.  The  minor  bequests  the  Q.  C.  re- 
garded as  ingenious  inventions,  pure  play  of  fancy,  **  in- 
tended to  give  artistic  verisimilitude,"  as  Pooh-Bah  says  in 
the  opera,  **  to  an  otherwise  bald  and  unconvincing  narra- 
tive." The  fads,  it  was  true,  were  known  fads  of  Mr. 
Ashurst's  ;  but  what  sort  of  fads  ?  Bimetallism  ?  Anglo- 
Israel  ?  No,  braces  and  shoe-horns — clearly  the  kind  that 
would  best  be  known  to  a  courier  like  Higginson,  the  sole 
begetter,  he  believed,  of  this  nefarious  conspiracy. 

The  cross-eyed  Q.  C,  lifting  his  fat  right  hand  in  solemn 
adjuration,  called  upon  the  jury  confidently  to  set  aside  this 
ridiculous  fabrication,  and  declare  for  a  will  of  undoubted 
genuineness,  a  will  drawn  up  in  London  by  a  firm  of  eminent 
solicitors,  and  preserved  ever  since  by  the  testator's  bankers. 
It  would  then  be  for  his  lordship  to  decide  whether  in  the 
public  interest  he  should  recommend  the  Crown  to  prosecute 
on  a  charge  of  forgery  the  clumsy  fabricator  of  this  pre- 
posterous document. 

The  judge  summed  up — strongly  in  favour  of  Lord  South- 
minster's  will.     If  the  jury  believed  the  experts  and  Miss 


The  Cross-Hycd  Q.  C. 


291 


IIiKRi'ison,  one  verdict  alone  wns  possible.     The  jury  retired 
for  three  niiniiles  only.     It  was  a  foregone  conclusion.     They 


^i2^U^ 


1    REELED    WHERE    I    SAT. 


found  for  Lord  Southminster.  The  judge,  looking  grave, 
concurred  in  their  finding.  A  most  proper  verdict.  And  he 
considered  it  would  be  the  duty  ot  the  Public  Prosecutor  to 
pursue  Mr.  Harold  Tillington  on  the  charge  of  forgery. 


'-"■J  — .- i'>-' 


292  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

I  reeled  where  I  sat.     Then  I  looked  round  for  Harold. 

He  had  slipped  from  the  court,  unseen,  during  counsel's 
address,  some  minutes  earlier  ! 

That  distressed  me  more  than  anything  else  on  that  dread- 
ful da}'.  I  wished  he  had  stood  up  in  his  place  like  a  man 
to  face  this  vile  and  cruel  conspiracy. 

I  walked  out  slowly,  supported  by  Lady  Georgina,  who 
was  as  white  as  a  ghost  herself,  but  very  straight  and  scorn- 
fid.  "  I  always  knew  Southminster  was  a  fool,"  she  said 
aloud  ;  "  I  always  knew  he  was  a  sneak  ;  but  I  did  not  know 
till  now  he  was  also  a  particularly  bad  type  of  criminal." 

On  the  steps  of  the  court,  the  pea-green  young  man  met 
us.  His  air  was  jaunty.  "  Well,  I  was  right,  yah  see,"  he 
said,  smiling  and  withdrawing  his  cigarette.  "  You  backed 
the  wrong  fellah  !  I  told  you  I  'd  win.  I  won't  say  moah 
now  ;  this  is  not  the  time  or  place  to  recur  to  that  subject  ; 
but,  by-and-by,  you  '11  come  round  ;  you  '11  think  bettali  of 
it  still  ;  3'ou  '11  back  the  winnah  !  " 

I  wished  I  were  a  man,  that  I  might  have  the  pleasure  of 
kicking  him. 

We  drove  back  to  my  hotel  and  waited  for  Harold.  To 
my  horror  and  alarm,  he  never  came  near  us.  I  might 
almost  have  doubted  him — if  he  had  not  been  Harold. 

I  waited  and  waited.  He  did  not  come  at  all.  He  sent 
no  word,  no  message.  And  all  that  evening  we  heard  the 
newsboys  shouting  at  the  top  of  their  voice  in  the  street  : 
"  Kxtra  Spcshul  !  the  Ashurst  Will  Kise  ;  Sensational  De- 
velopments !  Mysterious  Disappearance  of  Mr.  'Arold 
Tillington." 


CHAPTER  XI 


1 


THE   ADVRNTURK   OK  TIIK   ORIKXTAL   ATTENDANT 

DID  not  sleep  that  night.  Next  morning,  I  rose  very- 
early  from  a  restless  bed  with  a  dry,  hot  mouth,  and  a 
general  feeling  that  the  solid  earth  had  failed  beneath 


me. 

Still  no  news  from  Harold  !  It  was  cruel,  I  thought.  My 
faith  almost  flagged.  He  was  a  man  and  should  be  brave. 
How  could  he  run  away  snd  hide  himself  at  such  a  time  ? 
Even  if  I  set  my  own  anxiet}'  aside,  just  think  to  what 
vSerious  misapprehension  it  laid  him  open  ! 

I  sent  out  for  the  morning  papers.  They  were  full  of 
Harold.  Rumours,  rumours,  rumours  !  Mr.  Tillington 
had  deliberately  choseti  to  put  himself  in  the  wrong  by  dis- 
appearing mysteriously  at  the  last  moment.  He  had  only 
himself  to  blame  if  the  worst  interpretation  were  put  upon 
his  action.  But  the  police  were  on  his  track  ;  Scotland  Yard 
had  "  a  clue  "  ,  it  was  confidently  expected  an  arrest  would 
be  made  before  evening  at  latest.  As  to  details,  authorities 
differed.  The  officials  of  the  Great  Western  Railway  at 
Paddington  were  convinced  that  Mr.  Tillington  had  started, 
alone  and  undisguised,  by  the  night  express  for  P^xeter. 
The  South  Eastern  inspectors  at  Charing  Cross,  on  the  other 

2<)3 


294  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

hand,  were  equally  certain  that  he  had  slipped  away  with  a 
false  beard,  in  company  with  his  "  accomplice  "  Higginson, 
by  the  8.15  p.m.  to  Paris.  Everybody  took  it  for  granted, 
however,  that  he  had  left  London. 

Conjecture  played  with  various  ultimate  destinations — 
Spain,  Morocco,  Sicily,  the  Argentine.  In  Italy,  said  the 
Chronicle,  he  might  lurk  for  a  while — he  spoke  Italian 
fluently,  and  could  manage  to  put  up  at  tiny  ostcric  in  out- 
of-the-way  places  seldom  visited  by  Englishmen.  He  might 
try  AJbania,  said  the  Morning  Post,  airing  its  exclusive 
"society"  information;  he  had  often  hunted  there,  and 
might  in  turn  be  hunted.  He  would  probably  attempt  to 
slink  away  to  some  remote  spot  in  the  Carpathians  or  the 
Balkans,  said  the  Daily  Nczvs,  quite  proud  of  its  geography. 
Still,  wherever  he  went,  leaden-footed  justice  in  this  age, 
said  the  Times,  must  surely  overtake  him.  The  day  of  uni- 
versal extradition  had  dawned  ;  we  had  no  more  Alsatias  : 
even  the  Argentine  itself  gives  up  its  rogues — at  last  ;  not 
an  asylum  for  crime  remains  in  Europe,  not  a  refuge  in  Asia, 
Africa,  America,  Australia,  or  the  Pacific  Islands. 

I  noted  with  a  shudder  of  horror  that  all  the  papers  alike 
took  his  guilt  as  certain.  In  spite  of  a  few  decent  pretences 
at  not  prejudging  an  untried  cause,  they  treated  him  already 
as  the  detected  criminal,  the  fugitive  from  justice.  I  sat  in 
my  little  sitting-room  at  the  hotel  in  Jermyn  Street,  a  limp 
rag,  looking  idly  out  of  the  window  with  anxious  eyes, 
and  waiting  for  Lady  Georgina.  It  was  early,  too  early, 
but — oh,  why  did  n't  .she  come  !  Unless  somebody  soon  sym- 
pathised with  me,  my  heart  would  break  under  this  load  of 
loneliness  ! 

Presently,  as  I  looked  out  on  the  sloppy  morning  street. 


The  Oriental  Attendant  -95 

I  was  vaguely  aware  through  the  mist  that  floated  before  my 
dry  eyes  (for  tears  were  denied  me)  of  a  very  grand  carriage 
driving  up  to  the  doorway — the  porch  with  the  four  wooden 
Ionic  pillars.  I  took  no  heed  of  it.  I  was  too  heart-sick  for 
observation.  My  life  was  wrecked,  and  Harold's  with  it. 
Yet,  dimly  through  the  mist,  I  became  conscious  after  a 
while  that  the  carriage  was  that  of  an  Indian  prince  ;  I  could 
see  the  black  faces,  the  white  turbans,  the  gold  brocades  of 
the  attendants  in  the  dickey.  Then  it  came  home  to  me 
with  a  pang  that  this  was  the  Maharajah. 

It  was  kindly  meant  ;  yet  after  all  that  had  been  insinu- 
ated in  court  the  day  before,  I  was  by  no  means  overpleased 
that  his  dusky  Highness  should  come  to  call  upon  me. 
Walls  have  eyes  and  ears.  Reporters  were  hanging  about 
all  over  London,  eager  to  distinguish  themselves  by  success- 
ful eavesdropping.  Thej^  would  note,  with  brisk  innuendoes 
after  their  kind,  how  "  the  Maharajah  of  Moozuffernuggar 
called  early  in  the  day  on  Miss  Lois  Cayley,  with  whom  he 
remained  for  at  least  half  an  hour  in  close  consultation,"  I 
had  half  a  mind  to  send  down  a  message  that  I  could  not  see 
him.  My  face  still  burned  with  the  undeserved  shame  of 
the  cross-eyed  Q.  C.'s  unspeakable  suggestions. 

Before  I  could  make  my  mind  up,  however,  I  saw  to  my 
surprise  that  the  Maharajah  did  not  propose  to  come  in  him- 
self. He  leaned  back  in  his  place  with  his  lordly  Eastern 
air,  and  waited,  looking  down  on  the  gapers  in  the  street, 
while  one  of  the  two  gorgeous  attendants  in  the  dickey  de- 
scended obsequiously  to  ''eceive  his  orders.  The  man  was 
dressed  as  usual  in  rich  Oriental  stuffs,  and  wore  his  full 
white  turban  swathed  in  folds  round  his  head.  I  could  not 
see  his  features.     He  bent  forward  respectfully  with  Oriental 


296 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


suppleness  to  take  his  Highness's  orders.  Then,  receiving 
a  card  and  bowing  low,  he  entered  the  porch  with  the  wooden 
Ionic  pillars,  and  disappeared  within,  while  the  Maharajah 


THE  MKSSENGER   ENTERED. 


folded  his  hands  and  seemed  to  resign  himself  to  a  temporary 
Nirvana. 

A  minute  later,  a  knock  sounded  on  my  door.  "  Come 
ill  !  "  I  said,  faintly  ;  and  the  messenger  entered. 

I  turned  and  faced  him.  The  l)lood  rushed  to  my  cheek. 
"  Harold  !  "  I  cried,  darting  forward.     My  joy  overcame  me. 


The  Oriental  Attendant  297 

He  folded  me  in  his  arms.  I  allowed  him,  unreproved.  For 
the  first  time  he  kissed  me.     I  did  not  shrink  from  it. 

Then  I  stood  away  a  little  and  gazed  at  him.  Even  at 
that  crucial  moment  of  doubt  and  fear,  I  could  not  help 
noticing  how  admirably  he  made  up  as  a  handsome  young 
Rajput.  Three  years  earlier,  at  Schlangenbad,  I  remem- 
bered, he  had  struck  me  as  strangely  Oriental-looking  :  he 
had  the  features  of  a  high-born  Indian  gentleman,  without 
the  complexion.  His  large,  poetical  eyes,  his  regular,  oval 
face,  his  even  teeth,  his  mouth  and  moustache,  all  vaguely 
recalled  the  highest  type  of  the  Eastern  temperament.  Now, 
he  had  blackened  his  face  and  hands  with  some  permanent 
stain — Indian  ink,  I  learned  later — and  the  resemblance  to  a 
Rajput  chief  was  positivelj'  startling.  In  his  gold  brocade 
and  ample  white  turban,  no  passer-by,  I  felt  sure,  would 
ever  have  dreamt  of  doubting  him. 

"  Then  you  knew  me  at  once  ?  "  he  said,  holding  my  face 
between  his  hands.  "  That  's  bad,  darling  !  I  flattered 
myself  I  had  transformed  my  face  into  the  complete  Indian." 

'  *  Love  has  sharp  eyes, ' '  I  answered.  *  *  It  can  see  through 
brick  walls.  But  the  disguise  is  perfect.  No  one  else  would 
detect  you." 

"  Love  is  blind,  I  thought." 

"  Not  where  it  ought  to  see.  There,  it  pierces  everything. 
I  knew  you  instantly,  Harold.  But  all  London,  I  am  .sure, 
would  pass  you  by,  unknown.     You  are  absolute  Orient." 

"  That  's  well  ;  for  all  London  is  looking  for  me,"  he  an- 
swered, bitterly.  "  The  .streets  bristle  with  detectives. 
Southminster's  knaveries  have  won  the  day.  So  I  have 
tried  this  disguise.  Otherwise,  I  should  have  been  arrested 
the  moment  the  jury  brought  in  their  verdict." 


298  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

"And  why  were  you  not?"  I  asked,  drawing  back. 
"  Oh,  Harold,  I  trust  you  ;  but  why  did  you  disappear 
and  make  all  the  world  believe  you  admitted  yourself 
guilty?" 

He  opened  his  arms.  "Can't  you  guess?"  he  cried, 
holding  them  out  to  me. 

I  nestled  in  them  once  more  ;  but  I  answered  through  my 
tears — I  had  found  tears  now — "No,  Harold;  it  baffles 
me." 

"  You  remember  what  you  promised  me  ?  "  he  murmured, 
leaning  over  me  and  clasping  me.  "  If  ever  I  were  poor, 
friendless,  hunted — you  would  marry  me.  Now  the  oppor- 
tunity has  come  when  we  can  both  prove  ourselves.  To-day, 
except  you  and  dear  Georgey,  I  have  n't  a  friend  in  the 
world.  Everyone  else  has  turned  against  me.  Southminster 
holds  the  field.  I  am  a  suspected  forger  ;  in  a  very  few 
days  I  shall  doubtless  be  a  convicted  felon.  Unjustly, 
as  you  know  ;  yet  still — we  must  face  it — a  convicted 
felon.  So  I  have  come  to  claim  you.  I  have  come  to  ask 
you  now,  in  this  moment  of  despair,  will  you  keep  your 
promise  ?  ' ' 

I  lifted  my  face  to  his.  He  bent  over  it  trembling.  I 
whispered  the  words  in  his  ear.  "  Yes,  Harold,  I  will  keep 
it.  I  have  always  loved  you.  And  now  I  will  marry 
you. ' ' 

"  I  knew  you  would  !  "  he  cried,  and  pressed  me  to  his 
bosom. 

We  sat  for  some  minutes,  holding  each  other's  hands,  and 
saying  nothing  ;  we  were  too  full  of  thought  for  words. 
Then,  suddenly,  Harold  roused  himself.  "  We  must  make 
haste,  darling,"  he  cried.     "  We  are  keeping  Partab  outside, 


The  Oriental  Attendant  299 

and  every  minute  is  precious,  every  minute's  delay  danger- 
ous. We  ought  to  go  down  at  once.  Partab's  carriage  is 
waiting  at  the  door  for  us." 

"Go  down?"  I  exclaimed,  clinging  to  him.  "How? 
Why  ?     I  don't  understand.     What  is  your  programme  ?  " 

"  Ah,  I  forgot  I  had  n't  explained  to  you  !  Listen  here, 
dearest — quick  ;  I  can  waste  no  words  over  it.  I  said  just 
now  I  had  no  friends  in  the  world  but  you  and  Georgey. 
That  's  not  true,  for  dear  old  Partab  has  stuck  to  me  nobly. 
When  all  my  English  friends  fell  away,  the  Rajput  was  true 
to  me.  He  arranged  all  this  ;  it  was  his  own  idea  ;  he  fore- 
saw what  was  coming.  He  urged  me  yesterday,  just  before 
the  verdict  (when  he  saw  my  acquaintances  beginning  to 
look  askance),  to  slip  quietly  out  of  court,  and  make  my  way 
by  unobtrusive  roads  to  his  house  in  Curzon  Street.  There, 
he  darkened  my  face  like  his,  and  converted  me  to  Hindooism. 
I  don't  suppose  the  disguise  will  serve  me  for  more  than  a 
day  or  two  ;  but  it  will  last  long  enough  for  us  to  get  safely 
away  to  Scotland." 

"  Scotland  ?  "  I  murmured.  "  Then  you  mean  to  try  a 
Scotch  marriage  ?  " 

"It  is  the  only  thing  possible.  We  must  be  married  to- 
day, and  in  England,  of  course,  we  cannot  do  it.  We  would 
have  to  be  called  in  church,  or  else  to  procure  a  license, 
either  of  which  would  involve  disclosure  of  my  identity. 
Besides,  ev^en  the  license  would  keep  us  waiting  about  for  a 
day  or  two.  In  Scotland,  on  the  other  hand,  we  can  be 
married  at  once.  Partab's  carriage  is  below,  to  take  you  to 
King's  Cross.  He  is  staunch  as  steel,  dear  fellow.  Do  you 
consent  to  go  with  me  ?  " 

My  faculty  for  promptly  making  up  such  mind  as  I  possess 


300  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

stood  me  once  more  in  good  stead.  "  Implicitly,"  I  an- 
swered. "  Dear  Harold,  this  calamity  has  its  happy  side — 
for  without  it,  much  as  I  love  you,  I  could  never  have 
brought  myself  to  marry  you  !  " 

"  One  moment,"  he  cried.  "  Before  you  go,  recollect, 
this  step  is  irrevocable.  You  will  marry  a  man  who  may  be 
torn  from  you  this  evening,  and  from  whom  fourteen  years 
of  prison  may  separate  you." 

*'  I  know  it,"  I  cried,  through  my  tears.  "  But — I  shall 
be  showing  my  confidence  in  you,  my  love  for  you." 

He  kissed  me  once  more,  fervently.  "  This  makes  amends 
for  all,"  he  cried.  "  Lois,  to  have  won  such  a  woman  as 
you,  I  would  go  through  it  all  a  thousand  times  over.  It 
was  for  this,  and  for  this  alone,  that  I  hid  myself  last  night. 
I  wanted  to  give  you  the  chance  of  showing  me  how  much, 
how  truly,  you  loved  me."  . 

"  And  after  we  are  married  ?  "  I  asked,  trembling. 

"  I  shall  give  myself  up  at  once  to  the  police  in  Kdin- 
burgh." 

I  clung  to  him  wistfully.  My  heart  half  led  me  to  urge 
him  to  escape.  But  I  knew  that  was  wrong.  "  Give  your- 
self up,  then,"  I  said,  sobbing.  "  It  is  a  brave  man's  place. 
You  must  stand  your  trial;  and,  come  what  will,  I  will  strive 
to  bear  it  with  you." 

"  I  knew  you  would,"  he  cried.  "  I  was  not  mistaken  in 
you." 

We  embraced  again,  just  once.  It  was  little  enough  after 
those  years  of  waiting. 

"  Now  come  !  "  he  cried.     "  L,et  us  go." 

I  drew  back.  "  Not  with  you,  dearest,"  I  whisoered. 
"  Not  in  the  Maharajah's  carriage.      You  must  start  by 


The  Oriental  Attendant  30  ^ 

yourself.  I  will  follow  you  at  once,  to  King's  Cross,  in  a 
hansom." 

He  saw  I  was  right.  It  would  avoid  suspicion,  and  it 
would  prevent  more  scandal.  He  withdrew  without  a  word. 
"  We  meet,"  I  said,  "  at  ten,  at  King's  Cross  Station." 

I  did  not  even  wait  to  wash  the  tears  from  my  eyes.  All 
red  as  they  were,  I  put  on  my  hat  and  my  little  brown 
travelling  jacket.  I  don't  think  I  so  much  as  glanced  once 
at  the  glass.  The  seconds  were  precious.  I  saw  the  Maha- 
rajah drive  away,  with  Harold  in  the  dickey,  arms  crossed, 
imperturbable,  Orientally  silent.  He  looked  the  very 
counterpart  of  the  Rajput  by  his  side.  Then  I  descended 
the  stairs  and  walked  out  boldly.  As  I  passed  through  the 
hall,  the  servants  and  the  visitors  stared  at  me  and  whispered. 
They  spoke  with  nods  and  liftings  of  the  eyebrows.  I  was 
aware  that  that  morning  I  had  achieved  notoriety. 

At  Piccadilly  Circus,  I  jumped  of  a  sudden  into  a  passing 
hansom.  "  King's  Cross  !  "  I  cried,  as  I  mounted  the  step. 
"  Drive  quick  !  I  have  no  time  to  spare."  And,  as  the 
man  drove  off,  I  saw,  by  a  convulsive  dart  of  someone  across 
the  road,  that  I  had  given  the  slip  to  a  disappointed  reporter. 

At  the  station  I  took  a  first-class  ticket  for  Edinburgh. 
On  the  platform,  the  Maharajah  and  his  attendants  were 
waiting.  He  lifted  his  hat  to  me,  though  otherwise  he  took 
no  overt  notice.  But  I  saw  his  keen  eyes  follow  me  down 
the  train.  Harold,  in  his  Oriental  dress,  pretended  not  to 
observe  me.  One  or  two  porters,  and  a  few  curious  travel- 
lers, cast  enquiring  eyes  on  the  Eastern  prince,  and  made  re- 
marks about  him  to  one  another.  "  That 's  the  chap  as  was 
up  yesterday  in  the  Ashurst  will  kise  !  "  said  one  lounger  to 
his  neighbour.     But  nobody  seemed  to  look  at  Harold  ;  his 


302  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

subordinate  position  secured  him  from  curiosity.  The  Maha- 
rajah had  always  two  Eastern  servants,  gorgeously  dressed, 
in  attendance  ;  he  had  been  a  well-known  figure  in  London 
society,  and  at  Lord's  and  the  Oval,  for  two  or  three  seasons. 

"  Bloomin'  fine  cricketer  !  "  one  porter  observed  to  his 
mate  as  he  passed. 

"  Yuss  ;  not  so  dusty  for  a  nigger,"  the  other  man  replied. 
"  Fust-rite  bowler  ;  but,  Lord,  he  can't  'old  a  candle  to  good 
old  Ranji." 

As  for  myself,  nobody  seemed  to  recognise  me.  I  set  this 
fact  down  to  the  fortunate  circumstance  that  the  evening 
papers  had  published  rough  wood-cuts  which  professed  to  be 
my  portrait,  and  which  naturally  led  the  public  to  look  out 
for  a  brazen-faced,  raw-boned,  hard-featured  termagant. 

I  took  my  seat  in  a  ladies'  compartment  by  myself.  As 
the  train  was  about  to  start,  Harold  strolled  up  as  if  casually 
for  a  moment.  "You  think  it  better  so?"  he  queried, 
without  moving  his  lips  or  seeming  to  look  at  me. 

"  Decidedly,"  I  answered.  "  Go  back  to  Partab.  Don't 
come  near  me  again  till  w^e  get  to  Edinburgh.  It  is  danger- 
ous still.  The  police  maj'^  at  any  moment  hear  we  have 
started  and  stop  us  half-way  ;  and  now  that  we  have  once 
committed  ourselves  to  this  plan  it  would  be  fatal  to  be  inter- 
rupted before  we  have  got  married." 

"  You  are  right,"  he  cried  ;  "  Lois,  you  are  always  right, 
somehow. ' ' 

I  wished  I  could  think  .so  myself;  but  't  was  with  serious 
misgivings  that  I  felt  the  train  roll  out  of  the  station. 

Oh,  that  long  journey  north,  alone,  in  a  ladies'  compart- 
ment— with  the  feeling  that  Harold  was  so  near,  yet  so 
unapproachable  ;    it  was  an  endless  agony.      He  had  the 


The  Oriental  Attendant  3<^3 

Maharajah,  who  loved  and  admired  him,  to  keep  him  from 
brooding  ;  but  I,  left  alone,  and  confined  with  my  own  fears, 
conjured  up  before  my  eyes  every  possible  misfortune  that 
Heaven  could  send  us.  I  saw  clearly  now  that  if  we  failed 
in  our  purpose  this  journey  would  be  taken  by  everyone  for 
a  flight,  and  would  deepen  the  suspicion  under  which  we 
both  laboured.  It  would  make  me  still  more  obviously  a 
conspirator  with  Harold. 

Whatever  happened,  we  must  strain  every  nerve  to  reach 
Scotland  in  safetj%  and  then  to  get  married,  in  order  that 
Harold  might  immediately  surrender  himself. 

At  York,  I  noticed  with  a  thrill  of  terror  that  a  man  in 
plain  clothes,  with  the  obtrusively  unobtrusive  air  of  a  de- 
tective, looked  carefully  though  casually  into  every  carriage. 
I  felt  sure  he  was  a  spy,  because  of  his  marked  outer  jaunti- 
ness  of  demeanour,  which  hardly  masked  an  underlying 
hang-dog  expression  of  scrutiny.  When  he  reached  my 
place,  he  took  a  long,  careless  stare  at  me — a  seemingly 
careless  stare,  which  was  yet  brimful  of  the  keenest  observa- 
tion. Then  he  paced  slowly  along  the  line  of  carriages,  with 
a  glance  at  each,  till  he  arrived  just  opposite  the  Maharajah's 
compartment.  There  he  stared  hard  once  more.  The  Ma- 
harajah descended;  so  did  Harold  and  the  Hindoo  attendant, 
who  was  dressed  just  like  him.  The  man  I  took  for  a  de- 
tective indulged  in  a  frank,  long  gaze  at  the  unconscious 
Indian  prince,  but  cast  only  a  hasty  eye  on  the  two  apparent 
followers.  That  touch  of  revelation  relieved  my  mind  a 
little.  I  felt  convinced  the  police  were  watching  the  Maha- 
rajah and  myself,  as  suspicious  persons  connected  with  the 
case  ;  but  they  had  not  yet  guessed  that  Harold  had  di.s- 
guised  himself  as  one  of  the  two  invariable  Rajput  servants. 


304  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


We  steamed  on  northward.  At  Newcastle,  the  same  de- 
tective strolled,  with  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  along  the 
train  once  more,  and  puffed  a  cigar  with  the  nonchalant  air 
of  a  sporting  gentleman.  But  I  was  certain  now,  from  the 
studious  unconcern  he  was  anxious  to  exhibit,  that  he  must 

1 


HE  TOOK   A    LONG,    CARELESS   STARE  AT   MK. 

be  a  spy  upon  us.  He  overdid  his  mood  of  careless  observa- 
tion. It  was  too  obvious  an  assumption.  Precisely  the 
same  thing  happened  again  when  we  pulled  up  at  Berwick, 
I  knew  now  that  we  were  watched.  It  would  be  impossible 
for  us  to  get  married  at  Edinburgh  if  we  were  thus  closely 
pursued.  There  was  but  one  chance  open  ;  we  nuist  leave 
the  train  abruptly  at  the  first  Scotch  stopping  station. 


The  Oriental  Attendant  305 

The  detective  knew  we  were  booked  through  for  Edin- 
burgh. So  much  I  conld  tell,  because  I  saw  him  make  en- 
(luiries  of  the  ticket  examiner  at  York,  and  again  at  Berwick, 
and  because  the  ticket-examiner  thereupon  entered  a  mental 
note  of  the  fact  as  he  punched  my  ticket  each  time  :  "Oh, 
Kdinburgh,  miss  ?  All  right  "  ;  and  then  stared  at  me  sus- 
piciously. I  could  tell  he  had  heard  of  the  Ashurst  will 
case.  He  also  lingered  long  about  the  Maharajah's  com- 
partment, and  then  went  back  to  confer  with  the  detective. 
Thus,  putting  two  and  two  together,  as  a  woman  will,  I 
came  to  the  conclusion  that  the  spy  did  not  expect  us  to  leave 
the  train  before  we  reached  Edinburgh.  That  told  in  our 
favour.  Most  men  trust  much  to  just  such  vague  expecta- 
tions. They  form  a  theorj',  and  then  neglect  the  adverse 
chances.  You  can  only  get  the  better  of  a  skilled  detective 
by  taking  him  thus,  psychologically  and  humanly. 

By  this  time,  I  confess,  I  felt  almost  like  a  criminal. 
Never  in  my  life  had  danger  loomed  so  near — not  even  when 
we  returned  with  the  Arabs  from  the  oasis.  For  then  we 
feared  for  our  lives  alone  ;  now,  we  feared  for  our  honour. 

I  drew  a  card  from  my  case  before  we  left  Berwick  station, 
and  scribbled  a  few  hasty  words  on  it  in  German.  "  We  are 
watched.  A  detective  !  If  we  run  through  to  Edinburgh, 
we  shall  doubtless  be  arrested  or  at  least  impeded.  This 
train  will  stop  at  Dunbar  for  one  minute.  Just  before  it 
leaves  again,  get  out  as  quietly  as  you  can — at  the  last  mo- 
ment. I  will  also  get  out  and  join  you.  Let  Partab  go  on  ; 
it  will  excite  le.ss  attention.  The  .scheme  I  suggest  is  the 
only  safe  plan.  If  you  agree,  as  soon  as  we  have  well  started 
from  Berwick,  shake  your  handkerchief  unobtrusively  out 
of  your  carriage  window." 


3o6 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


I  beckoned  a  porter  noiselessly  without  one  word.  The 
detective  was  now  strolling  along  the  fore-part  of  the 
train,  with  his  back  turned  towards  nie,  peering  as  he  went 
into  all  the  windows.     I  gave  the  porter  a  shilling.     "Take 

this  to  a  black  gentleman 
in  the  next  carriage  but 
one,"  I  said,  in  a  confiden- 
tial whisper.  The  porter 
touched  his  hat,  nodded, 
smiled,  and  took  it. 

Would  Harold  see  the 
necessity  for  acting  on  my 
advice  ?  —  I  wondered.  I 
gazed  out  along  the  train 
as  soon  as  we  had  got  well 
clear  of  Berwick.  A  min- 
ute —  two  mi  nutes  —  three 
minutes  passed  ;  and  still 
no  handkerchief.  I  began 
to  despair.  He  was  debat- 
ing, no  doubt.  If  he  re- 
fused, all  was  lost,  and  we 
were  disgraced  for  ever. 

At  last,  after  long  wait- 
ing, as  I  stared  still  along 
the  whizzing  line,  with  the 
smoke  in  my  eyes,  and  the 
dust  half  blinding  me,  I  saw,  to  my  intense  relief,  a  handker- 
chief flutter.  It  fluttered  once,  not  markedly,  then  a  black 
hand  withdrew  it.  Only  just  in  time,  for  even  as  it  disap- 
peared, the  detective's  head  thrust  itself  out  of  a  farther 


I   BIXKONED   A   PORTKR. 


The  Oriental  Attendant  3^7 

window.  He  was  not  looking  for  anything  in  particular,  as 
far  as  I  could  tell — ^just  observing  the  signals.  But  it  gave 
me  a  strange  thrill  to  think  even  now  we  were  so  nearly 
defeated. 

My  next  trouble  was — would  the  train  draw  up  at  Dunbar  ? 
The  lo  A.M.  from  King's  Cross  is  not  set  down  to  stop  there 
in  Bradshaw,  for  no  passengers  are  booked  to  or  from  the 
station  by  the  day  express  ;  but  I  remembered  from  of  old, 
when  I  lived  at  Edinburgh,  that  it  used  always  to  wait  about 
a  minute  for  some  engine-driver's  purpose.  This  doubt  filled 
me  with  fresh  fear  ;  did  it  draw  up  there  still  ? — they  have 
accelerated  the  service  so  much  of  late  years,  and  abolished 
so  many  old  accustomed  stoppages.  I  counted  the  familiar 
stations  with  my  breath  held  back.  They  seemed  so  much 
farther  apart  than  usual.  Reston-— Grant's  House — Cock- 
burn.spath — Innerwick. 

The  next  was  Dunbar.  If  we  rolled  past  f/ia^,  then  all  was 
lost.  We  could  never  get  married.  I  trembled  and  hugged 
myself. 

The  engine  screamed.  Did  that  mean  .she  was  ruiniing 
through  ?  Oh,  how  I  wished  I  had  learned  the  interpreta- 
tion of  the  signals  ! 

Then  gradually,  gently,  we  began  to  slow.  Were  we 
slowing  to  pass  the  station  only  ?  No  ;  with  a  jolt  she  drew 
up.  My  heart  gave  a  bound  as  I  read  the  word  "  Dunbar  " 
on  the  station  notice-board. 

I  rose  and  waited,  with  my  fingers  on  the  door.  Happily 
it  had  one  of  those  new-fa.shioned  .slip-latches  which  open 
from  the  inside.  No  need  to  betray  myself  prematurely  to 
the  detective  by  a  hand  displayed  on  the  outer  handle.  I 
glanced  out  at  him  cautiously.     His  head  was  thrust  through 


3o8  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

his  window,  and  his  sloping  shoulders  revealed  the  sp}-,  but 
he  was  looking  the  other  way — observing  the  signals,  douljt- 
less,  to  discover  why  we  stopped  at  a  place  not  mentioned  in 
Bradshaw. 

Harold's  face  just  showed  from  another  window  close  by. 
Too  soon  or  too  late  might  either  of  them  be  fatal.  He 
glanced  enquiry  at  me.  I  nodded  back,  "  Now  !  "  The 
train  gave  its  first  jerk,  a  faint  backward  jerk,  indicative  of 
the  nascent  intention  of  starting.  As  it  braced  itself  to  go 
on,  I  jumped  out  ;  so  did  Harold.  We  faced  one  another 
on  the  platform  without  a  word.  "Stand  away,  there," 
the  station-master  cried,  in  an  angry  voice.  The  guard 
waved  his  green  flag.  The  detective,  still  absorbed  on  the 
signals,  never  once  looked  back.  One  second  later,  we  were 
safe  at  Dunbar,  and  he  was  speeding  away  by  the  express 
for  Edinburgh. 

It  gave  us  a  breathing  space  of  about  an  hour. 

For  half  a  minute  I  could  not  speak.  My  heart  was  in  my 
mouth.  I  hardly  even  dared  to  look  at  Harold.  Then  the 
station-master  stalked  up  to  us  with  a  threatening  manner. 
"  You  can't  get  out  here,"  he  said,  crustily,  in  a  gruff"  Scotch 
voice.  "  This  train  is  not  timed  to  set  down  before  Edin- 
burgh." 

"  We  have  got  out,"  I  answered,  taking  it  upon  me  to 
speak  for  my  fellow-culprit,  the  Hindoo — as  he  was  to  all 
seeming.  "  The  logic  of  facts  is  with  us.  We  were  booked 
through  to  Edinburgh,  but  we  wanted  to  stop  at  Dunbar  ; 
and  as  the  train  happened  to  pull  up,  we  thought  we  need  n't 
waste  time  by  going  on  all  that  way  and  then  coming  back 
again." 

"  Ye  should  have  changed  at  Berwick,"  the  station-master 


The  Oriental  Attendant 


309 


said,  still  gruffly,  "  and  come  on  by  the  slow  train."  I  could 
see  his  careful  Scotch  soul  was  vexed  (incidentally)  at  our 
extravagance  in  paying  the  extra  fare  to  Edinburgh  and 
back  again.     In  spite  of  agitation,  I  managed  to  summon 


YOU   CAN  T   GET   OUT   UEKE,      HE   SAID,    CRUSTILY. 


Up  one  of  my  sweetest  smiles — a  smile  that  ere  now  had 
melted  the  hearts  of  rickshaw  coolies  and  of  French  douanicrs. 
He  thawed  before  it  visibly.  "  Time  was  important  to  us," 
I  said — oh,  he  guessed  not  how  important  ;  "  and  besides, 
you  know,  it  is  so  good  for  the  company  !  " 


310  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

"  That  's  so,"  he  answered,  molHfied.  He  could  not  tilt 
against  the  interests  of  tlie  North  British  shareholders, 
"But  how  about  yer  luggage  ?  It  '11  have  gone  on  to  Edin- 
burgh, I  'm  thinking." 

"  We  have  no  luggage,"  I  answered  boldly. 

He  stared  at  us  both,  puckered  his  brow  a  moment,  and 
then  burst  out  laughing.  "  Oh,  ay,  I  see,"  he  answered, 
with  a  comic  air  of  amusement.  "  Well,  well,  it  's  none  of 
my  business,  no  doul)t,  and  I  will  not  interfere  with  ye  ; 

though  why  a  lady  like  you "     He  glanced  curiously  at 

Harold. 

I  saw  he  had  guessed  right,  and  thought  it  best  to  throw 
myself  unreservedly  on  his  mercy.  Time  was  indeed  im- 
portant. I  glanced  at  the  station  clock.  It  was  not  very 
far  from  the  stroke  of  six,  and  we  must  manage  to  get  mar- 
ried before  the  detective  could  miss  us  at  Ivdinburgh,  where 
he  was  due  at  6.30. 

So  I  smiled  once  more  that  heart-softening  smile.  "We 
have  each  our  own  fancies,"  I  said,  blushing — and,  indeed 
(such  is  the  pride  of  race  among  women),  I  felt  myself  blush 
at  the  bare  idea  that  I  was  marrying  a  black  man,  in  spite 
of  our  good  Maharajah's  kindness.  "  He  is  a  gentleman, 
and  a  man  of  education  and  culture."  I  thought  that  recom- 
mendation ought  to  tell  with  a  Scotchman.  "  We  are  in 
sore  straits  now,  but  our  case  is  a  just  one.  Can  you  tell 
me  who  in  this  place  is  most  likely  to  sympathise — most 
likely  to  marry  us  ?  " 

He  looked  at  me — and  surrendered  at  discretion.  "  I 
should  think  anybody  would  marry  ye  who  saw  yer 
pretty  face  and  heard  yer  sweet  voice,"  he  answered. 
"  But  perhaps  ye  'd  better  present  yerself  to  Mr.  Schoolcraft, 


The  Oriental  Attendant 


the  U.    P.    minister   at    Little    Kirkton. 
hearted." 

"  How  far  from  liere  ?  "  I  asked. 

"  About  two  inilL'S,"  lie  answered. 

"  Can  we  ^-et  a  trap  ?  " 


He   was  ay  soft- 


\VK    l(il.l)    (H.'K     lAI.I 


"  Oh,  a\',  there  's  machines  always  waitiiiij^  at  the 
station." 

We  interviewed  a  "machine"  and  drove  out  to  Little 
Kirkton.  Tlh.Te,  we  told  our  tale  in  the  fewest  words  possi- 
ble to  the  obliging-  and  good-natured  II.  P.  minister.  He 
looked,  as  the  station-master  had  said,  "  soft-hearted  "  ;  but 
he  dashed  our  hopes  to  the  ground  at  once  by  telliug  us 


312  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

candidly  that  unless  we  had  had  our  residence  in  Scotland 
for  twenty-one  days  preceding  the  marriage,  it  would  not  be 
legal.  "  If  you  were  Scotch,"  he  added,  "  I  could  go 
through  the  ceremony  at  once,  of  course  ;  and  then  you 
could  apply  to  the  sheriff  to-night  for  leave  to  register  the 
marriage  in  proper  form  afterward  ;  but  as  one  of  you  is 
English,  and  the  other,  I  judge  " — he  smiled  and  glanced 
towards  Harold — "  an  Indian-born  subject  of  Her  Majesty, 
it  would  be  impossible  for  me  to  do  it  :  the  ceremony  would 
be  invalid,  under  Lord  Brougham's  Act,  without  previous 
residence. ' ' 

This  was  a  terrible  blow.  I  looked  away  appealingly. 
"  Harold,"  I  cried  in  despair,  "  do  you  think  we  could 
manage  to  hide  ourselves  safely  anywhere  in  Scotland  for 
twenty-one  days  ?  ' ' 

His  face  fell.  "How  could  I  escape  notice?  All  the 
world  is  hunting  for  me.  And  then  the  scandal  !  No  matter 
where  you  stopped — however  far  from  me — no,  Lois  darling, 
I  could  never  expose  you  to  it." 

The  minister  glanced  from  one  to  the  other  of  us,  puzzled. 
"  Harold  ?  "  he  said,  turning  over  the  word  on  his  tongue. 
"  Harold  ?  That  does  n't  .sound  like  an  Indian  name,  does 
it?  And "  he  hesitated,  "  you  speak  w^onderful  Eng- 
lish !  " 

I  saw  the  safest  plan  was  to  make  a  clean  breast  of  it.  He 
looked  the  sort  of  man  one  could  trust  on  an  emergency. 
"  You  have  heard  of  the  Ashurst  will  case  ?  "  I  said,  blurt- 
ing it  out  suddenly. 

"  I  have  seen  something  about  it  in  the  newspapers  ;  yes-. 
But  it  did  not  interest  me  :  I  have  not  followed  it." 

I  told  him  the  whole  truth  ;  the  case  against  us — the  facts 


The  Oriental  Attendant  3^3 

as  we  knew  them.  Then  I  added  slowly:  "This  is  Mr. 
Harold  Tillington,  whom  they  accuse  of  forgery.  Does  he 
look  like  a  forger  ?  I  want  to  marry  him  before  he  is  tried. 
It  is  the  only  way  by  which  I  can  prove  my  implicit  trust  in 
him.  As  soon  as  we  are  married,  he  will  give  himself  up  at 
once  to  the  police — if  you  wish  it,  before  your  eyes.  But 
married  we  must  be.     Can't  you  manage  it  somehow  ?  " 

My  pleading  voice  touched  him.  "  Harold  Tillington  ?  " 
he  murmured.  "  I  know  of  his  forbears.  Lady  Guinevere 
Tillington' s  son,  is  it  not  ?  Then  you  must  be  Younger  of 
GledclifFe."  For  Scotland  is  a  village  ;  everyone  in  it  seems 
to  have  heard  of  every  other. 

"  What  does  he  mean  ?  "  I  asked.  "  Younger  of  Gled- 
cliffe  ?  "  I  remembered  now  that  the  phrase  had  occurred 
in  Mr.  Ashurst's  will,  though  I  never  understood  it. 

"  A  Scotch  fashion,"  Harold  answered.  "  The  heir  to  a 
laird  is  called  Younger  of  so-and-so.  My  father  has  a  small 
estate  of  that  name  in  Dumfriesshire, — a  very  small  estate  ;  I 
was  born  and  brought  up  there." 

"  Then  you  are  a  Scotchman  ?  "  the  minister  asked. 

"  Yes,"  Harold  answered  frankly  ;  "  by  remote  descent. 
We  are  trebly  of  the  female  line  at  Gledcliffe  ;  still,  I  am  no 
doubt  more  or  less  Scotch  by  domicile." 

"  Younger  of  Gledcliffe  !  Oh,  yes,  that  ought  certainly 
to  be  quite  sufficient  for  our  purpose.     Do  3'ou  live  there  ?  " 

"  I  have  been  living  there  lately.  I  always  live  there 
when  I  'm  in  Britain.  It  is  my  only  home.  I  belong  to 
the  diplomatic  service." 

"  But  then— the  lady  ?  " 

"  She  is  unmitigatedly  English,"  Harold  admitted,  in  a 
gloomy  voice. 


3H  Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 

"  Not  quite,"  I  answered.  "  I  lived  four  years  in  Edin- 
burgh. And  I  spent  my  liolidays  there  while  I  was  at 
Girton.  I  keep  my  boxes  still  at  my  old  rooms  in  Maitland 
Street." 

"  Oh,  that  will  do,"  the  minister  answered,  quite  relieved; 
for  it  was  clear  that  our  anxiety  and  the  touch  of  romance  in 
our  tale  had  enlisted  him  in  our  favour.  "  Indeed,  now  I 
come  to  think  of  it,  it  suffices  for  the  Act  if  one  only  of  the 
parties  is  domiciled  in  Scotland.  And  as  Mr.  Tillington 
lives  habitually  at  Gledcliffe,  that  settles  the  question. 
Still,  I  can  do  nothing  save  marry  you  now  by  religious 
service  in  the  presence  of  my  servants — which  constitutes 
what  we  call  an  ecclesiastical  marriage — it  becomes  legal  if 
afterwards  registered ;  and  then  you  must  apply  to  the  sheriff 
for  a  warrant  to  register  it.  But  I  will  do  what  I  can  ;  later 
on,  if  you  like,  you  can  be  re-married  by  the  rites  of  your 
own  Church  in  England." 

"  Are  you  quite  sure  our  Scotch  domicile  is  good  enough 
in  law  ?  "  Harold  asked,  still  doubtful. 

"  I  can  turn  it  up,  if  you  wish.  I  have  a  legal  hand-book. 
Before  Lord  Brougham's  Act,  no  formalities  were  necessary. 
But  the  Act  was  passed  to  prevent  Gretna  Green  marriages. 
The  usual  phrase  is  that  such  a  marriage  does  not  hold  good 
unless  one  or  other  of  the  parties  either  has  had  his  or  her 
usual  residence  in  Scotland,  or  else  has  lived  there  for 
twenty-one  days  immediately  preceding  the  date  of  the  mar- 
riage.    If  you  like,  I  will  wait  to  consult  the  authorities." 

"  No,  thank  you,"  I  cried.  "  There  is  no  time  to  lose. 
Marry  us  first,  and  look  it  up  afterwards.  '  One  or  other  ' 
will  do,  it  seems.  Mr.  Tillington  is  Scotch  enough,  I  am 
sure  ;  he  has  no  address  in  Britain  but  Gledcliffe  ;  we  will 


The  Oriental  Attendant  315 

rest  our  claim  upon  that.  Even  if  the  marriage  turns  out 
invahd,  we  only  remain  where  we  were.  This  i.s  a  pre- 
liminary ceremony  to  prove  good  faith,  and  to  bind  us  to 
one  another.  We  can  satisfy  the  law,  if  need  be,  when  we 
return  to  England." 

The  minister  called  in  his  wife  and  servants,  and  explained 
to  them  briefly.  He  exhorted  us  and  prayed.  We  gave  our 
solemn  consent  in  legal  form  before  two  witnesses.  Then 
he  pronounced  us  duly  married.  In  a  quarter  of  an  hour 
more,  we  had  made  declaration  to  that  effect  before  the 
sheriff,  the  witnesses  accompanying  us,  and  were  formally 
affirmed  to  be  man  and  wife  before  the  law  of  Great  Britain. 
I  asked  if  it  would  hold  in  England  as  well. 

"  You  could  n't  be  firmer  married,"  the  sheriff  said,  with 
decision,  "  by  the  Archbishop  of  Canterbury  in  Westminster 
Abbey." 

Harold  turned  to  the  minister.  "Will  you  send  for  the 
police  ?  "  he  said,  calmly.  "  I  wish  to  inform  them  that  I 
am  the  man  for  whom  they  are  looking  in  the  Ashurst  will 
case." 

Our  own  cabman  went  to  fetch  them.  It  was  a  terrible 
moment.  But  Harold  sat  in  the  sheriff's  study  and  waited, 
as  if  nothing  uiuisual  were  happening.  He  talked  freely  but 
quietly.     Never  in  my  life  had  I  felt  vSo  proud  of  him. 

At  last  the  police  came,  much  inflated  with  the  dignity  of 
so  great  a  capture,  and  took  down  our  statement.  "  Do  you 
give  yourself  in  charge  on  a  confession  of  forgery?"  the 
superintendent  asked,  as  Harold  ended. 

"  Certainly  not,"  Harold  answered.  "  I  have  not  com- 
mitted forgery.  But  I  do  not  wish  to  skulk  or  hide  myself. 
I  understand  a  warrant  is  out  against  me  in  London.     I 


3i6 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


have  come  to  Scotland,  hurriedly,  for  the  sake  of  getting 
married,  not  to  escape  apprehension.  I  am  here,  openly, 
under  my  own  name.  I  tell  you  the  facts  :  't  is  for  you  to 
decide  ;  if  you  choose,  you  can  arre.st  me." 

The  superinten- 
dent conferred  for 
some  time  in  an- 
other room  with 
the  sheriff.  Then 
he  returned  to  the 
study.  "Very 
well,  sir,"  he 
said,  in  a  respect- 
ful tone,  ' '  I  arrest 
you." 

So  that  was  the 
beginning  of  our 
married  life. 
More  than  ever, 
I  felt  sure  I  could 
trust  in  Harold. 

The  police  de- 
cided, after  hear- 
ing by  telegram 
from  L,ondon,  that 
we  must  go  up  at 
once  by  the  night 
express,  which  they  stopped  for  the  purpose.  They  were 
forced  to  divide  us.  I  took  the  sleeping  car  ;  Harold  trav- 
elled with  two  constables  in  an  ordinary  carriage.  Strange 
to  say,  notwithstanding  all  this,  so  great  was  our  relief  from 


M^  u 


I    HAVE   FOUND   A  CLUE. 


The  Oriental  Attendant  317 

the  tension  of  our  flight,  that  we  both  slept  soundly.  Next 
morning  we  arrived  in  London,  Harold  guarded.  The  police 
had  arranged  that  the  case  should  come  up  at  Bow  Street 
that  afternoon.  It  was  not  an  ideal  honeymoon,  and  yet,  I 
was  somehow  happy. 

At  King's  Cross,  they  took  him  away  from  me.  Still,  I 
hardly  cried.  All  the  way  up  in  the  train,  whenever  I  was 
awake,  an  idea  had  been  haunting  me — a  possible  clue  to  this 
trickery  of  Lord  Southminster's.  Petty  details  cropped  up 
and  fell  into  their  places.  I  began  to  unravel  it  all  now.  I 
had  an  inkling  of  a  plan  to  set  Harold  right  again. 

The  will  we  had  proved but  I  must  not  anticipate. 

When  we  parted,  Harold  kissed  me  on  the  forehead,  and 
murmured  rather  sadly,  "  Now,  I  suppose  it 's  all  up.  Lois, 
I  must  go.     These  rogues  have  been  too  much  for  us." 

"  Not  a  bit  of  it,"  I  answered,  new  hope  growing  stronger 
and  stronger  within  me.  "  I  see  a  way  out.  I  have  found 
a  clue.  I  believe,  dear  Harold,  the  right  will  still  be  vindi- 
cated." 

And  red-eyed  as  I  was,  I  jumped  into  a  hansom,  and  called 
to  the  cabman  to  drive  at  once  to  Lady  Georgina's. 


CHAPTER  XII 

THK  ADVENTURE  OF  THE   UNPROFESSIONAL  DETECTIVE 

"IS  Lady  Georgina  at  home  ?  "     The  discreet  man-servant 

1^     in  sober  black  clothes  eyed  me  suspiciously.     "  No, 

miss,"  he  answered.     "  That  is  to  say — no,  ma'am. 

Her  ladyship  is  still  at  Mr.  Marmaduke  Ashurst's — the  late 

Mr.  Marmaduke  Ashurst,  I  mean — in  Park  Lane  North. 

You  know  the  number,  ma'am  ?  " 

**  Yes,  I  know  it,"  I  replied,  with  a  gasp  ;  for  this  was  in- 
deed a  triumph.  My  one  fear  had  been  lest  Lord  South- 
minster  should  already  have  taken  possession — why,  you  will 
see  hereafter;  and  it  relieved  me  to  learn  that  Lady  Georgina 
was  still  at  hand  to  guard  my  husband's  interests.  She  had 
been  living  at  the  house,  practically,  since  her  brother's 
death.  I  drove  round  with  all  speed,  and  flung  myself  into 
my  dear  old  lady's  arms. 

"  Kiss  me,"  I  cried,  flushed.  "  I  am  your  niece  !  "  But 
she  knew  it  already,  for  our  movements  had  been  fully  re- 
ported by  this  time  (with  picturesque  additions)  in  the 
morning  papers.  Imagination,  ill-developed  in  the  English 
race,  seems  to  concentrate  itself  in  the  lower  order  of 
journalists. 

She  kissed  me  on  both  cheeks  with  unwonted  tenderness. 

318 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         319 

"  Lois,"  she  cried,  with  tears  in  her  eyes,  "  you  're  a 
brick  !  "  It  was  not  exactly  poetical  at  such  a  moment,  but 
from  her  it  meant  more  than  much  gushing  phraseology. 

"  And  you  're  here  in  possession  !  "  I  murmured. 

The  Cantankerous  Old  Lady  nodded.  She  was  in  her 
element,  I  must  admit.  She  dearly  loved  a  row — above  all, 
a  family  row  ;  but  to  be  in  the  thick  of  a  family  row,  and  to 
feel  herself  in  the  right,  with  the  law  against  her — that  was 
joy  such  as  Lady  Georgina  had  seldom  before  experienced. 
"  Yes,  dear,"  .she  burst  out  volubly,  "  I  'm  in  po.sse.ssion, 
thank  Heaven!  And  what  's  more,  they  won't  oust  me 
without  a  legal  process.  I  've  been  here,  off  and  on,  you 
know,  ever  since  poor  dear  Marmy  died,  looking  after  things 
for  Harold  ;  and  I  .shall  look  after  them  .still,  till  Bertie 
Southminster  succeeds  in  ejecting  me,  which  won't  be  easy. 
Oh,  I  've  held  the  fort  by  main  force,  I  can  tell  you  ;  held 
it  like  a  Trojan.  Bertie  's  in  a  precious  hurry  to  move  in, 
I  can  .see  ;  but  I  won't  allow  him.  He  's  been  down  here 
this  morning,  fatuou.sly  blu.stering,  and  trying  to  carry  the 
pest  by  storm,  with  a  couple  of  policemen." 

"  Policemen  !  "  I  cried.     "  To  turn  you  out  ?  " 

"  Yes,  my  dear,  policemen;  but  (the  Lord  be  praised!)  I 
was  too  much  for  him.  There  are  legal  formalities  to  fulfil 
yet ;  and  I  won't  budge  an  inch,  Lois,  not  one  inch,  my  dear, 
till  he  's  fulfilled  every  one  of  them.  Mark  my  words,  child, 
that  boy  's  up  to  some  devilry." 

"  He  is,"  I  answered. 

"  Yes,  he  would  n't  be  in  such  a  rampaging  hurry  to  get 
in — being  as  lazy  as  he  's  empty-headed — takes  after  Gwen- 
doline in  that — if  he  had  n't  some  excellent  reason  for 
wishing  to  take  possession  :  and  depend  upon  it,  the  reason 


320  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

is  that  he  wants  to  get  hold  of  something  or  other  that  's 
Harold's.  But  he  sha'n't  if  I  can  help  it  ;  and,  thank  my 
stars,  I  'm  a  dour  woman  to  reckon  with.  If  he  comes,  he 
comes  over  my  old  bones,  child.  I  've  been  overhauling 
everything  of  Marmy's,  I  can  tell  you,  to  checkmate  the  boy 
if  I  can  ;  but  I  've  found  nothing  yet,  and  till  I  've  satisfied 


1  'VK    llKl.I)    Till-:    I'OKT    IIY    MAIN    KORCK 


myself  on  that  point,  I  '11  hold  the  fort  still,  if  I  have  to 
barricade  that  pasty-faced  scoundrel  of  a  nephew  of  mine  out 
by  piling  the  furniture  against  the  front  door — I  will,  as  sure 
as  my  name  's  Georgina  Fawley  !  " 

"  I  know  you  will,  dear,"  I  assented,  kissing  her,  '*  and 
so  I  shall  venture  to  leave  you,  while  I  go  out  to  institute 
another  little  enquiry." 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         32  j 

"  What  enquiry  ?  " 

I  shook  my  head.  "  It 's  only  a  surmise,"  I  said,  hesitat- 
ing. "  I  '11  tell  you  about  it  later.  I  've  had  time  to  think 
while  I  've  been  coming  back  in  the  train,  and  I  've  thought 
of  many  things.  Mount  guard  till  I  return,  and  mind  you 
don't  let  Lord  Southminster  have  access  to  anything." 

"  I  '11  shoot  him  first,  dear."     And  I  believe  she  meant  it. 

I  drove  on  in  the  same  cab  to  Harold's  solicitor.  There  I 
laid  my  fresh  doubts  at  once  before  him.  He  rubbed  his 
bony  hands.  "  You  've  hit  it  !  "  he  cried,  charmed.  "  My 
dear  madam,  you  've  hit  it  !  I  never  did  like  that  will.  I 
never  did  like  the  signatures,  the  witnesses,  the  look  of  it. 
But  what  could  I  do  ?  Mr.  Tillington  propounded  it.  Of 
course  it  was  n't  my  bu.siness  to  go  dead  against  my  own 
client." 

"Then  you  doubted  Harold's  honour,  Mr.  Hayes?"  I 
cried,  flushing. 

"  Never  !  "  he  answered.  "  Never  !  I  felt  sure  there 
must  be  some  mistake  somewhere,  but  not  any  trickery  on — 
your  husband's  part.  Now,  jou  supply  the  right  clue.  We 
must  look  into  it  immediately." 

He  hurried  round  with  me  at  once  in  the  same  cab  to  the 
court.  The  incriminated  will  had  been  "  impounded,"  as 
they  call  it  ;  but,  under  certain  restrictions,  and  subject  to 
the  closest  surveillance,  I  was  allowed  to  examine  it  with  my 
husband's  solicitor,  before  the  eyes  of  the  authorities.  I 
looked  at  it  long  with  the  naked  eye  and  also  with  a  small 
pocket  lens.  The  paper,  as  I  had  noted  before,  was  the  same 
kind  of  foolscap  as  that  which  I  had  been  in  the  habit  of 
using  at  my  office  in  Florence  ;  and  the  typewriting — was  it 
mine  ?     The  longer  I  looked  at  it,  the  more  I  doubted  it. 


322 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


After  a  careful  examination  I  turned  round  to  our  solicitor. 
"  Mr.  Hayes,"  I  said,  firmly,  having  arrived  at  my  conclu- 
sion, **  this  is  not  the  document  I  typewrote  at  Florence." 

* '  How  do  you  know  ?  "  he  asked.  ' '  A  different  machine  ? 
Some  small  peculiarity  in  the  shape  of  the  letters  ?  " 


NEVKK  !  "      IIK  ANSWERF.I).      "  NK\  KR  !' 


"  No,  the  rogue  who  typed  this  will  was  too  cunning  for 
that.  He  did  n't  allow  himself  to  be  foiled  by  such  a  scholar's 
mate.  It  is  written  with  a  Spread  E:igle,  the  same  sort  of 
machine  precisely  as  my  own.  I  know  the  type  perfectly. 
But "  I  hesitated. 

"  But  what?" 

"  Well,  it  is  difficult  to  explain.     There  is  character  in 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         3-3 

tj''pewriting,  just  as  there  is  in  handwriting,  only,  of  course, 
not  quite  so  much  of  it.  Every  operator  is  liable  to  his  own 
peculiar  tricks  and  blunders.  If  I  had  some  of  my  own  type- 
written manuscript  here  to  show  you,  I  could  soon  make  that 
evident." 

"  I  can  easily  believe  it.  Individuality  runs  through  all 
we  do,  however  seemingly  mechanical.  But  are  the  points 
of  a  sort  that  you  could  make  clear  in  court  to  the  satisfaction 
of  a  j  ury  ?  ' ' 

"  I  think  so.  Look  here,  for  example.  Certain  letters 
get  habitually  mixed  up  in  typewriting  ;  c  and  v  stand  next 
one  another  on  the  keyboard  of  the  machine,  and  the  per.son 
who  typed  this  draft  sometimes  strikes  a  c  instead  of  a  v,  or 
2'?V<?  versa.  I  never  do  that.  The  letters  I  tend  to  confuse 
are  .y  and  re,  or  else  e  and  r,  which  also  come  very  near  one 
another  in  the  arbitrary  arrangement.  Besides,  when  I  type- 
wrote the  original  of  this  will,  I  made  no  errors  at  all  ;  I  took 
such  very  great  pains  about  it." 

"  And  this  person  did  make  errors  ?  " 

"  Yes  ;  struck  the  wrong  letter  first,  and  then  corrected  it 
often  by  striking  another  rather  hard  on  top  of  it.  See,  this 
was  a  V  to  begin  with,  and  he  turned  it  into  a  c.  Besides, 
the  hand  that  wrote  this  will  is  heavier  than  mine  :  it  comes 
down  thump,  thump,  thump,  while  mine  glides  lightly.  And 
the  hyphens  are  used  with  a  space  between  them,  and  the 
character  of  the  punctuation  is  not  exactly  as  I  make  it." 

"  Still,"  Mr.  Hayes  objected,  "  we  have  nothing  but  your 
word.  I  'm  afraid,  in  such  a  case,  we  could  never  induce  a 
jury  to  accept  your  unsupported  evidence." 

"  I  don't  want  them  to  accept  it,"  I  answered.  "  I  am 
looking  this  up  for  my  own  satisfaction.     I  want  to  know, 


3^4  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

first,  who  wrote  this  will.  And  of  one  thing  I  am  quite 
clear  :  it  is  not  the  document  I  drew  up  for  Mr.  Ashurst. 
Just  look  at  that  x.  The  x  alone  is  conclusive.  My  type- 
writer had  the  upper  right-hand  stroke  of  the  small  x  badly 
formed,  or  broken,  while  this  one  is  perfect.  I  remember  it 
well,  because  I  used  always  to  improve  all  my  lower-case  .r's 
with  a  pen  when  I  re-read  and  corrected.  I  see  their  dodge 
clearly  now.  It  is  a  most  diabolical  conspiracy.  Instead  of 
forging  a  will  in  Lord  Southminster's  favour,  thej'  ha/e  sub- 
stituted a  forgery  for  the  real  will,  and  then  managed  to  make 
my  poor  Harold  prove  it." 

"  In  that  case,  no  doubt,  they  have  destroyed  the  real  one, 
the  original,"  Mr.  Hayes  put  in. 

"  I  don't  think  so,"  I  answered,  after  a  moment's  delibera- 
tion. "  From  what  I  know  of  Mr.  Ashurst,  I  don't  believe 
it  is  likely  he  would  havx  left  his  will  about  carelessly  any- 
where. He  was  a  secretive  man,  fond  of  mysteries  and 
mystifications.  He  would  be  sure  to  conceal  it.  Besides, 
Lady  Georgina  and  Harold  have  been  taking  care  of  every- 
thing in  the  house  ever  since  he  died." 

"  But,"  Mr.  Hayes  objected,  "  the  forger  of  this  docu- 
ment, supposing  it  to  be  forged,  must  have  had  access  to  the 
original,  since  you  say  the  terms  of  the  two  are  identical  ; 
only  the  signatures  are  forgeries.  And  if  he  saw  and  copied 
it,  why  might  he  not  also  have  destroyed  it  ?  " 

A  light  flashed  across  me  all  at  once.  "  The  iox^^r  did 
see  the  original,"  I  cried,  "  but  not  the  fair  copy.  I  have 
it  all  now  !  I  detect  their  trick  !  It  conies  back  to  me 
vividly  !  When  I  had  finished  typing  the  copy  at  Florence 
from  my  first  rough  draft,  which  I  had  taken  down  on  the 
machiue  before  Mr.  Ashurst's  eyes,  I  remember  now  that  I 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         325 

threw  the  original  into  the  waste-paper  basket.  It  must 
have  been  there  that  evening  when  Higginson  called  and 
asked  for  the  will  to  take  it  back  to  Mr.  Ashurst.  He  called 
for  it,  no  doubt,  hoping  to  open  the  packet  before  he  delivered 
it  and  make  a  copy  of  the  document  for  this  very  purpose. 
But  I  refused  to  let  him  have  it.  Before  he  saw  me,  how- 
ever, he  had  been  left  by  himself  for  ten  minutes  in  the 
office  ;  for  I  remember  coming  out  to  him  and  finding  him 
there  alone  ;  and  during  that  ten  minutes,  being  what  he  is, 
you  may  be  sure  he  fished  out  the  rough  draft  and  appropri- 
ated it  !" 

"  That  is  more  than  likely,"  my  solicitor  nodded,  "  You 
are  tracking  him  to  his  lair.  We  shall  have  him  in  our 
power. ' ' 

I  grew  more  and  more  excited  as  the  whole  cunning  plot 
unravelled  itself  mentally  step  by  step  before  me.  "  He 
must  then  have  gone  to  Lord  Southminster,"  I  went  on, 
**  and  told  him  of  the  legacy  he  expected  from  Mr.  Ashurst. 
It  was  five  hundred  pounds — a  mere  trifle  to  Higginson, 
who  plays  for  thousands.  So  he  must  have  offered  to 
arrange  matters  for  Lord  Southminster  if  Southminster 
would  consent  to  make  good  that  sum  and  a  great  deal  more 
to  him.  That  odious  little  cad  told  me  himself  on  \.\\^  Jumna 
they  were  engaged  in  pulling  off  '  a  big  coup  '  between  them. 
He  thought  then  I  would  marry  him,  and  that  he  would  so 
secure  my  connivance  in  his  plans  ;  but  who  would  marry 
such  a  piece  of  moist  clay  ?  Besides,  I  could  never  have 
taken  anyone  but  Harold." 

Then  another  clue  came  home  to  me.  **  Mr.  Hayes,"  I 
cried,  jumping  at  it,  "  Higgiii.son,  who  forged  this  will,  never 
saw  the  real  document  itself  at  all  ;  he  saw  only  the  draft  ; 


326 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


for  Mr.  Asluirst  altered  one  word  viva  voce  in  the  original  at 
the  last  moment,  and  I  made  a  pencil  note  of  it  on  my  cuff 
at  the  time  :  and  see,  it  is  n't  here,  though  I  inserted  it  in 
the  final  clean  copy  of  the  will — the  word  '  especially.'  It 
grows  upon  me  more  and  more  each  minute  that  the  real  iu- 


\VE   SHALL   HAVE   IIIM   IN   OUR    I'OWER. 


strument  is  hidden  .somewhere  in  Mr.  A.shunst's  house — 
Harold's  house — our  house;  and  that  because  it  is  there  Lord 
Southminster  is  so  indecently  anxious  to  oust  his  aunt  and 
take  instant  possession." 

"  In  that  case,"  Mr.  Hayes  remarked,  "  we  had  better  go 
back  to  Lady  Georgina  wilhout  onu  minute's  delay,  and, 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         327 

while  she  still  holds  the  house,  institute  a  thorough  search 
for  it." 

No  sooner  said  than  done.  We  jumped  again  into  our 
cab  and  started.  As  we  drove  back,  Mr.  Hayes  asked  me 
where  I  thought  we  were  most  likely  to  find  it. 

"  In  a  secret  drawer  in  Mr.  Ashurst's  desk,"  I  answered, 
by  a  flash  of  instinct,  without  a  second's  hesitation. 

"  How  do  you  know  there  's  a  secret  drawer  ?  " 

"  I  don't  know  it.  I  infer  it  from  my  general  knowledge 
of  Mr.  Ashurst's  character.  He  loved  secret  drawers, 
ciphers,  cryptograms,  mystery-mongering." 

"  But  it  was  in  that  desk  that  your  husband  found  the 
forged  document,"  the  lawyer  objected. 

Once  more  I  had  a  flash  of  inspiration  or  intuition.  "  Be- 
cause White,  Mr.  Ashurst's  valet,  had  it  in  readiness  in  his 
possession,"  I  answered,  "  and  hid  it  there,  in  the  most 
obvious  and  unconcealed  place  he  could  find,  as  soon  as  the 
breath  was  out  of  his  master's  body.  I  remember  now  that 
lyord  Southminster  gave  himself  away  to  some  extent  in  that 
matter.  The  hateful  little  creature  is  n't  really  clever 
enough,  for  all  his  cunning, — and  with  Higginson  to  back 
him, — to  mix  himself  up  in  such  tricks  as  forgery.  He  told 
me  at  Aden  he  had  had  a  telegram  from  '  Marmy's  valet,'  to 
report  progress  ;  and  he  received  another,  the  night  Mr. 
Ashurst  died,  at  Moozuffernuggar.  Depend  upon  it.  White 
was  more  or  less  in  this  plot  ;  Higginson  left  him  the  forged 
will  when  they  started  for  India;  and,  as  soon  as  Mr.  Ashurst 
died.  White  hid  it  where  Harold  was  bound  to  find  it." 

"  If  so,"  Mr.  Hayes  answered,  "  that  's  well  ;  we  have 
something  to  go  upon.  The  more  of  them  the  better.  There 
is  safety  in  numbers — for  the  honest  folk.     I  never  knew 


328  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

three  rogues  hold  long  together,  especially  when  threatened 
with  a  crimi  nal  prosecution.  Their  confederacy  breaks  down 
before  the  chance  of  punishment.  Each  tries  to  screen  him- 
self by  betraying  the  others." 

"  Higginson  was  the  soul  of  the  plot,"  I  went  on.  "  Of 
that  you  may  be  sure.  He  's  a  wily  old  fox,  but  we  '11  run 
him  to  earth  yet.  The  more  I  think  of  it,  the  more  I  feel 
sure,  from  what  I  know  of  Mr.  Ashurst's  character,  he 
would  never  have  put  that  will  in  so  exposed  a  place  as  the 
one  where  Harold  says  he  found  it." 

We  drew  up  at  the  door  of  the  disputed  house  just  in  time 
for  the  siege.  Mr.  Hayes  and  I  walked  in.  We  found  Lady 
Georgina  face  to  face  with  Lord  Southminster.  The  oppos- 
ing forces  were  still  at  the  stage  of  preliminaries  of  warfare. 

"  Look  heah,"  the  pea-green  young  man  was  observing, 
in  his  drawling  voice,  as  we  entered  ;  "  it  's  no  use  your 
talking,  deah  Georgey.  This  house  is  mine,  and  I  won't 
have  you  meddling  with  it." 

"  This  house  is  not  yours,  you  odious  little  scamp,"  his 
aunt  retorted,  raising  her  shrill  voice  some  notes  higher 
than  usual  ;  "  and  '  ile  I  can  hold  a  stick  you  shall  not 
come  inside  it." 

"  Very  well,  then  ;  you  drive  me  to  hostilities,  don't  yah 
know.  I  'm  sorry  to  show  disrespect  to  your  grey  hairs — if  any 
— but  I  shall  be  obliged  to  call  in  the  police  to  eject  yah." 

"  Call  them  in  if  you  like,"  I  answered,  interposing  be- 
tween them.  "  Go  out  and  get  them  !  Mr.  Hayes,  while 
he  's  gone,  send  for  a  carpenter  to  break  open  the  back  of 
Mr.  Ashurst's  escritoire." 

"  A  carpentah  ?  "  he  cried,  turning  several  degrees  whiter 
than  his  pasty  won't.     "  What  for  ?     A  carpentah  ?  " 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         329 

I  spoke  distinctl3\  "  Because  we  have  reason  to  believe 
Mr.  Ashurst's  real  will  is  concealed  in  this  house  in  a  secret 
drawer,  and  because  the  keys  were  in  the  possession  of 
White,  whom  we  believe  to  be  your  accomplice  in  this  shal- 
low conspiracy." 

He  gasped  and  looked  alanned.  "  No  you  don't,"  he 
cried,  stepping  briskly  forward.  "  You  don't,  I  tell  yah  ! 
Break  open  Marmy's  desk  !  Why,  hang  it  all,  it  's  my 
property." 

"  We  shall  see  about  that  after  we  've  broken  it  open,"  I 
answered  grimly.  "  Here,  this  screw-driver  will  do.  The 
back  's  not  strong.  Now,  your  help,  Mr.  Hayes — one,  two, 
three  ;  we  can  prise  it  apart  between  us." 

Lord  Southminster  rushed  up  and  tried  to  prevent  us. 
But  Lady  Georgina,  seizing  both  wrists,  held  him  tight  as 
in  a  vice  with  her  dear  skinny  old  hands.  He  writhed  and 
struggled  all  in  vain  :  he  could  not  escape  her.  "  I  've 
often  spanked  you,  Bertie,"  she  cried,  "  and  if  you  attempt 
to  interfere,  I  '11  spank  you  again  ;  that'  s  the  long  and  the 
short  of  it  !  " 

He  broke  from  her  and  rushed  out,  to  call  the  police,  I 
believe,  and  prevent  our  desecration  of  pooah  Marmy's 
property. 

Inside  the  first  shell  were  several  locked  drawers,  and  two 
or  three  open  ones,  out  of  one  of  which  Harold  had  fished 
the  false  will.  Instinct  taught  me  somehow  that  the  central 
drawer  on  the  left-hand  side  was  the  compartment  behind 
which  lay  the  secret  receptacle.  I  prised  it  apart  and  peered 
about  inside  it.  Presently  I  saw  a  slip-panel,  which  I 
touched  with  one  finger.  The  pigeon-hole  flew  open  and 
disclosed  a  narrow  slit.     I  clutched  at  something — the  will  ! 


330 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


Ho,  victory,  the  will  !     I  raised  it  aloft  with  a  wild  shout. 

Not  a  doubt  of  it  !     The  real,  the  genuine  document  ! 
We  turned  it  over  and  read  it.     It  was  my  own  fair  copy, 

written  at  Florence,  and 
bearing  all  the  small 
marks  of  authenticit}'^ 
about  it  which  I  had 
pointed  out  to  Mr.  Hayes 
as  wanting  to  the  forged 
and  impounded  document. 
Fortunately,  Lady  Geor- 
gina  and  four  of  the  ser- 
vants  had  stood  by 
throughout  this  scene,  and 
had  watched  our  demean- 
o  u  r ,  as  well  as  Lord 
Southminster's. 

We  turned  next  to  the 
signatures.  The  princi- 
pal one  was  clearly  Mr. 
Ashurst's — I  knew  it  at 
once — his  legible  fat  hand, 
"  Marmaduke  Courtney 
Ashurst." 

And  then  the  witnesses  ? 
They  fairly   took  our 
breath  awa3\ 
"  Why,  Higginson's  sister  is  n't  one  of  them  at  all,"  Mr. 

Hayes  cried,  astonished. 
A  flush  of  remorse  came  over  me.     I  saw  it  all  now.     I 

had  misjudged  that  poor  woman  !     She  had  the  misfortune 


VICTOKY. 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         33 1 

to  be  a  rogue's  sister,  but,  as  Harold  had  said,  was  herself  a 
most  respectable  and  blameless  person.  Higginson  must 
have  forged  her  name  to  the  document  ;  that  was  all  ;  and 
she  had  naturallj'  sworn  that  she  never  signed  it.  He  knew 
her  honesty.     It  was  a  master-stroke  of  rascality. 

"  The  other  one  is  n't  here,  either,"  I  exclaimed,  growing 
more  puzzled.  "  The  waiter  at  the  hotel  !  Why,  that  's 
another  forgery  !  Higginson  must  have  waited  till  the  man 
was  safely  dead,  and  then  used  him  similarly.  It  was  all 
very  clever.  Now,  who  are  these  people  who  really  wit- 
nessed it  ?  " 

"  The  first  one,"  Mr.  Ha5'es  said,  examining  the  hand- 
writing, "  is  Sir  Roger  Bland,  the  Dorsetshire  baronet  : 
he  's  dead,  poor  fellow  ;  but  he  was  at  Florence  at  the  time, 
and  I  can  answer  for  his  signature.  He  was  a  client  of 
mine,  and  died  at  Mentone.  The  second  is  Captain  Rich- 
ards, of  the  Mounted  Police  :  he  's  living  still,  but  he  's 
away  in  South  Africa." 

"  Then  they  risked  his  turning  up  ?  " 

"  If  they  knew  who  the  real  witnesses  were  at  all — which 
is  doubtful.  You  see,  as  you  say,  they  may  have  seen  the 
rough  draft  only." 

"  Higginson  would  know,"  I  answered.  "  He  was  with 
Mr.  Ashurst  at  Florence  at  the  time,  and  he  would  take  good 
care  to  keep  a  watch  upon  his  movements.  In  my  belief,  it 
was  he  who  suggested  this  whole  plot  to  Lord  Southminster." 

"  Of  course  it  was,"  Lady  Georgina  put  in.  "  That  's 
absolutely  certain.  Bertie  's  a  rogue  as  well  as  a  fool  ;  but 
he  's  too  great  a  fool  to  invent  a  clever  roguery,  and  too 
great  a  knave  not  to  join  in  it  foolishly  when  anybody  else 
takes  the  pains  to  invent  it." 


332  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

"  And  it  7vas  a  clever  roguery,"  Mr.  Hayes  interposed. 
"  All  ordinary  rascal  would  have  forged  a  later  will  in 
Lord  Southniinster's  favour  and  run  the  lisk  of  detection  ; 
Higginson  had  the  acuteness  to  forge  a  will  exactly  like  the 
real  one,  and  to  let  your  husband  bear  the  burden  of  the 
forgery.     It  was  as  sagacious  as  it  was  ruthless." 

"  The  next  point,"  I  said,  "  will  be  for  us  to  prove  it." 

At  that  moment  the  bell  rang,  and  one  of  the  house- 
servants — all  puzzled  by  this  conflict  of  interests — came  in 
with  a  telegram,  which  he  handed  me  on  a  salver.  I  broke 
it  open,  without  glancing  at  the  envelope.  Its  contents 
baffled  me  :  "  My  address  is  Hotel  Bristol,  Paris  ;  name  as 
usual.  Send  me  a  thousand  pounds  on  account  at  once.  I 
can't  afford  to  wait.     No  shillyshallying." 

The  message  was  unsigned.  For  a  moment,  I  could  n't 
imagine  who  sent  it,  or  what  it  was  driving  at. 

Then  I  took  up  the  envelope.  "  Viscount  Southminster, 
24  Park  lyane  North,  L,ondon." 

My  heart  gave  a  jump.  I  saw  in  a  second  that  chance, 
or  Providence,  had  delivered  the  conspirators  into  my  hands 
that  day.  The  telegram  was  from  Higginson !  I  had  opened 
it  by  accident. 

It  was  obvious  what  had  happened.  Lord  Southminster 
must  have  written  to  him  on  the  result  of  the  trial,  and  told 
him  he  meant  to  take  possession  of  his  uncle's  house  im- 
mediately. Higginson  had  acted  on  that  hint,  and  addressed 
his  telegram  where  he  thought  it  likely  Lord  Southminster 
would  receive  it  earliest.  I  had  opened  it  in  error,  and  that, 
too,  was  fortunate,  for  even  in  dealing  with  such  a  pack  of 
scoundrels,  it  would  never  have  occurred  to  me  to  violate 
somebody  else's  correspondence  had  I  not  thought  it  was 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         333 

addressed  to  me.  But  having  arrived  at  the  truth  thus  un- 
intentionally, I  had,  of  course,  no  scruples  about  making 
full  use  of  my  information. 

I  showed  the  despatch  at  once  to  Lady  Georgina  and  Mr. 
Hayes.  They  recognised  its  importance.  "  What  next  ?  " 
I  enquired.  "  Time  presses.  At  half- past  three  Harold 
comes  up  for  examination  at  Bow  Street." 

Mr..  Hayes  was  ready  with  an  apt  expedient.  "  Ring  the 
bell  for  Mr.  Ashurst's  valet,"  he  said,  quietly.  "  The  mo- 
ment has  now  arrived  when  we  can  begin  to  set  these  con- 
spirators by  the  ears.  As  soon  as  they  learn  that  we  know 
all,  they  will  be  eager  to  inform  upon  one  another." 

I  raifg  the  bell.  "  Send  up  White,"  I  said.  "  We  wish 
to  speak  to  him." 

The  valet  stole  up,  self-accused,  a  timid,  servile  creature, 
rubbing  his  hands  nervously,  and  suspecting  mischief.  He 
was  a  rat  in  trouble.  He  had  thin  brown  hair,  neatly  brushed 
and  plastered  down,  so  as  to  make  it  still  thinner,  and  his 
face  was  the  average  narrow  cunning  face  of  the  dishonest 
man-servant.  It  had  an  ounce  of  wile  in  it  to  a  pound  or 
two  of  servility.  He  seemed  just  the  sort  of  rogue  meanly 
to  join  in  an  underhand  conspiracy,  and  then  meanly  to 
back  out  of  it.  You  could  read  at  a  glance  that  his  principle 
in  life  was  to  sav^e  his  own  bacon. 

He  advanced,  fumbling  his  hands  all  the  time,  and  smiling 
and  fawning.  "  You  wished  to  see  me,  sir  ?  "  he  murmured, 
in  a  deprecatory  voice,  looking  sideways  at  Lady  Georgina 
and  me,  but  addressing  the  lawyer, 

*'  Yes,  White,  I  wished  to  see  you.  I  have  a  question  to 
ask  you.  IV/io  put  the  forged  will  in  Mr.  Ashurst's  desk  ? 
Was  it  you,  or  some  other  person  ?  " 


334 


Miss  Caylcy's  Adventures 


The  question  terrified  him.  He  changed  colour  and 
gasped.  But  he  rubbed  his  hands  harder  than  ever  and 
affected  a  sickly  smile.  "  Oh,  sir,  how  should  /know,  sir? 
/  had  nothing  to  do  with  it.  I  suppose — it  was  Mr.  Tilling- 
ton." 


"  YOU    WISHKI)   TO    SEK   ME,    SIR?" 

Our  lawyer  pounced  upon  him  like  a  hawk  on  a  titmouse. 
"  Don't  prevaricate  with  me,  sir,"  he  said,  sternly.     "  If 
you  do,  it  may  be  worse  for  you.     This  case  has  assumed 
quite  another  aspect.     It  is  you  and  your  a.ssociates  who 
will  be  placed  in  the  dock,  not  Mr.  Tillington.     You  had 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         335 

better  speak  the  truth  ;  it  is  your  one  chance,  I  warn  you. 
Lie  to  me,  and  instead  of  calling  you  as  a  witness  for  our 
case,  I  shall  include  you  in  the  indictment." 

White  looked  down  uneasily  at  his  shoes,  and  cowered. 
"  Oh,  sir,  I  don't  understand  you." 

"  Yes  you  do.  You  understand  me,  and  you  know  I  mean 
it.  Wriggling  is  useless  ;  we  intend  to  prosecute.  We  have 
unravelled  this  vile  plot.  We  know  the  whole  truth.  Higgin- 
son  and  Lord  Southminster  forged  a  will  between  them " 

"  Oh,  sir,  not  Lord  Southminster  !  His  lordship,  I  'm 
sure ' ' 

Mr.  Hayes's  keen  eye  had  noted  the  subtle  shade  of  dis- 
tinction and  admission.  But  he  said  nothing  openly. 
"  Well,  then,  Higginson  forged,  and  Lord  Southminster 
accepted,  a  false  will,  which  purported  to  be  Mr.  Marmaduke 
Ashurst's.  Now,  follow  me  clearly.  That  will  could  not 
have  been  put  into  the  escritoire  during  Mr.  Ashurst's  life, 
for  there  would  have  been  risk  of  his  discovering  it.  It  must, 
therefore,  have  been  put  there  afterward.  The  moment  he 
was  dead,  you,  or  somebody  else  with  your  consent  and  con- 
nivance, slipped  it  into  the  escritoire  ;  and  you  afterwards 
showed  Mr.  Tillington  the  place  where  you  had  set  it  or  seen 
it  set,  leading  him  to  believe  it  was  Mr.  Ashurst's  will,  and 
so  involved  him  in  all  this  trouble.  Note  that  that  was  a 
felonious  act.  We  accuse  you  of  felony.  Do  you  mean  to 
confess,  and  give  evidence  on  our  behalf,  or  will  you  force 
me  to  send  for  a  policeman  to  arrest  you  ? ' ' 

The  cur  hesitated  still.  "  Oh,  sir,"  drawing  back,  and 
fumbling  his  hands  on  his  breast,  "  you  don't  mean  it." 

Mr.  Hayes  was  prompt.  "  Hesslegrave,  go  for  a  police- 
mdU." 


33^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

That  curt  sentence  brought  the  rogue  on  his  marrow-bones 
at  once.  He  clasped  his  hands  and  debated  inwardly.  "  If 
I  tell  you  all  I  know,"  he  said,  at  last,  looking  about  him 
with  an  air  of  abject  terror,  as  if  he  thought  Lord  South- 
minster  or  Higginson  would  hear  him,  "  will  you  promise 
not  to  prosecute  me?"  His  tone  became  insinuating. 
"  For  a  hundred  pounds  I  could  find  the  real  will  for  you. 
You  'd  better  close  with  me.  To-day  is  the  last  chance. 
As  soon  as  his  lordship  comes  in,  he  '11  hunt  it  up  and 
destroy  it." 

I  flourished  it  before  him,  and  pointed  with  one  hand  to 
the  broken  desk,  which  he  had  not  yet  observed  in  his  craven 
agitation. 

"  We  do  not  need  your  aid,"  I  answered.  "We  have 
found  the  will,  ourselves.  Thanks  to  Lady  Georgina,  it  is 
safe  till  this  minute." 

"  And  to  me,"  he  put  in,  cringing,  and  trying  after  his 
kind  to  curry  favour  with  the  winners  at  the  last  moment. 
"  It  's  all  my  doing,  my  lady!  I  would  n't  destroy  it.  His 
lordship  offered  me  a  hundred  pounds  more  to  break  open 
the  back  of  the  desk  at  night,  while  your  ladyship  was  asleep, 
and  burn  the  thing  quietly.  But  I  told  him  he  might  do  his 
own  dirty  work  if  he  wanted  it  done.  It  was  n't  good  enough 
while  your  ladyship  was  here  in  possession.  Besides,  I 
wanted  the  right  will  preserved,  for  I  thought  things  might 
turn  up  so  ;  and  I  would  n't  stand  by  and  see  a  gentleman 
like  Mr.  Tillington,  as  has  always  behaved  well  to  me, 
deprived  of  his  inheritance." 

"  Which  is  why  you  conspired  with  Lord  Southminster  to 
rob  him  of  it,  and  to  send  him  to  prison  for  Higginson's 
crime,"  I  interposed ^almly. 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         337 

"  Then  you  confess  you  put  the  forged  will  there  ?  "  Mr. 
Hayes  said,  getting  to  business. 

White  looked  about  him  helplessly.  He  missed  his  head- 
piece, the  instigator  of  the  plot.  "  Well,  it  was  like  this, 
my  lady,"  he  began,  turning  to  Lady  Georgina,  and  wrig- 
gling to  gain  time.     "  You  see,  his  lordship  and  Mr.  Higgin- 

son "  he  twirled  his  thumbs  and  tried  to  invent  something 

plausible. 

Lady  Georgina  swooped.  "  No  rigmarole  !  "  she  said, 
sharply.  ' '  Do  you  confess  you  put  it  there  or  do  you  not — 
reptile  ?  ' '     Her  vehemence  startled  him. 

**  Yes,  I  confess  I  put  it  there,"  he  said  at  last,  blinking. 
"  As  soon  as  the  breath  was  out  of  Mr.  Ashurst's  body  I  put 
it  there."  He  began  to  whimper.  "  I  'm  a  poor  man  with 
a  wife  and  family,  sir,"  he  went  on,  "  though  in  Mr.  Ashurst's 
time  I  always  kep'  that  quiet  ;  and  his  lordship  offered  to 
pay  me  well  for  the  job  ;  and  when  you  're  paid  well  for  a 
job  yourself,  sir " 

Mr.  Hayes  waved  him  off  with  one  imperious  hand.  "  Sit 
down  in  the  corner  there,  man,  and  don't  move  or  utter  an- 
other word,"  he  said,  sternly,  "  until  I  order  you.  You  will 
be  in  time  still  for  me  to  produce  at  Bow  Street." 

Just  at  that  moment,  Lord  Southminster  swaggered  back, 
accompanied  by  a  couple  of  unwilling  policemen.  "  Oh,  I 
say,"  he  cried,  bursting  in  and  staring  around  him,  jubilant. 
"  Look  heah,  Georgey,  arc  you  going  quietly,  or  must  I  ask 
these  coppahs  to  evict  you  ?  "  He  was  wreathed  in  smiles 
now,  and  had  evidently  been  fortifying  himself  with  brandies 
and  soda. 

Lady  Georgina  rose  in  her  wrath.  "  Yes,  I  '11  go  if  you 
wish  it,  Bertie,"  she  answered,  with  calm  irony.     "I  '11 


33^  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

leave  the  house  as  soon  as  you  like — for  the  present — till  we 
come  back  again  with  Harold  and  /;«  policemen  to  evict  you. 
This  house  is  Harold's.  Your  game  is  played,  boy."  She 
spoke  slowly.  "  We  have  found  the  other  will — we  have 
discovered  Higginson's  present  address  in  Paris — and  we 
know  from  White  how  he  and  you  arranged  this  little 
conspiracy. ' ' 

She  rapped  out  each  clause  in  this  last  accusing  sentence 
with  deliberate  effect,  like  so  many  pistol-shots.  Each  bullet 
hit  home.  The  pea-green  young  man,  drawing  back  and 
staring,  stroked  his  shadowy  moustache  with  feeble  fingers 
in  undisguised  astonishment.  Then  he  dropped  into  a  chair 
and  fixed  his  gaze  blankly  on  Lady  Georgina.  "  Well,  this 
is  a  fair  knock-out,"  he  ejaculated,  fatuously  disconcerted. 
**  I  wish  Higginson  was  heah.  I  really  don't  quite  know 
what  to  do  without  him.  That  fellah  had  squared  it  all  up 
so  neatly,  don't  yah  know,  that  I  thought  there  could  n't  be 
any  sort  of  hitch  in  the  proceedings." 

"You  reckoned  without  Lois,"  Lady  Georgina  said, 
calmly. 

"  Ah,  Miss  Cayley — that 's  true.  I  mean,  Mrs.  Tillington. 
Yaas,  yaas,  I  know,  she  's  a  doosid  clevah  person — for  a  wo- 
man— now  is  n't  she  ?  " 

It  was  impossible  to  take  this  flabby  creature  seriously, 
even  as  a  criminal.  Lady  Georgina's  lips  relaxed.  "Doosid 
clever,"  she  admitted,  looking  at  me  almost  tenderly. 

"  But  not  quite  so  clevah,  don't  yah  know,  as  Higgin- 
son !  " 

"  There  you  make  your  blooming  little  erraw,"  Mr. 
Hayes  burst  in,  adopting  one  of  Lord  Southminster's 
favourite  witiicisms— the  sort  of  witticism  that   improves, 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         339 

like  poetry,  by  frequent  repetition.  "  Policemen,  you  may 
go  into  the  next  room  and  wait  ;  this  is  a  family  aifair  ;  we 
have  no  immediate  need  of  you." 

"  Oh,  certainly,"  Lord  Southminster  echoed,  much  re- 
lieved. "  Very  propah  sentiment!  Most  undCvSirable  that 
the  constables  should  mix  themselves  up  in  a  family  mattah 
like  this.     Not  the  place  for  inferiahs  !  " 


"well,  this  is  a  fair  knock-out,"  he  ejaculated. 

"  Then  why  introduce  them  ?  "  Lady  Georgina  burst  out, 
turning  on  him. 

He  smiled  his  fatuous  smile.  "  That  's  just  what  I  say," 
he  answered.  ' '  Why  the  jooce  introduce  them  ?  But  don't 
snap  my  head  off  !  " 

The  policemen  withdrew  respectfully,  glad  to  be  relieved 
of  this  unpleasant  business,  where  they  could  gain  no  credit, 
and  might  possibly  involve  themselves  in  a  charge  of  assault. 


340  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

Lord  Southminster  rose  with  a  benevolent  grin,  and  looked 
about  him  pleasantly.  The  brandies  and  soda  had  endowed 
him  with  irrepressible  cheerfulness. 

"  Well,  I  think  I  '11  leave  now,  Georgey.  You  've 
trumped  my  ace,  yah  know.  Nasty  trick  of  White  to  go 
and  round  on  a  fellah.  I  don't  like  the  turn  this  business  is 
taking.  Seems  to  me,  the  only  way  I  have  left  to  get  out 
of  it  is — to  turn  Queen's  evidence." 

Lady  Georgina  planted  herself  firmly  against  the  door. 
"  Bertie,"  she  cried,  "  no,  you  don't — not  till  we  've  got 
what  we  want  out  of  you  !  ' ' 

He  gazed  at  her  blandly.  His  face  broke  once  more  into 
an  imbecile  smile.  ' '  You  were  always  a  rough  '  un,  Georgey. 
Your  hand  did  sting !  Well,  what  do  you  want  now  ?  We '  ve 
each  played  our  cards,  and  you  need  n't  cut  up  rusty  over  it 
— especially  when  you  're  winning  !  Hang  it  all,  I  wish  I 
had  Higginson  heah  to  tackle  you  !  " 

"  If  you  go  to  see  the  Treasury  people,  or  the  Solicitor- 
General,  or  the  Public  Prosecutor,  or  whoever  else  it  may 
be,"  Lady  Georgina  said,  stoutly,  "  Mr.  Hayes  must  go 
with  you.  We  've  trumped  your  ace,  as  you  say,  and  we 
mean  to  take  advantage  of  it.  And  then  you  must  trundle 
yourself  down  to  Bow  Street  afterwards,  confess  the  whole 
truth,  and  set  Harold  at  liberty. ' ' 

"  Oh,  I  say  now,  Georgey  !  The  whole  truth  !  the  whole 
blooming  truth  !  That  's  really  what  I  call  humiliating  a 
fellah  !" 

"  If  you  don't,  we  arrest  you  this  minute — fourteen  years' 
imprisonment !  " 

"  Fourteen  yeahs  ?  "  He  wiped  his  forehead.  "  Oh,  I 
say !    How  doosid  uncomfortable !     I  was  nevah  much  good 


The  Unprofessional  Detective         341 

at  doing  anything  by  the  sweat  of  my  brow.  I  ought  to 
have  lived  in  the  Garden  of  Eden.  Georgey,  you  're  hard 
on  a  chap  when  he  's  down  on  his  hick.  It  would  be  con- 
founded cruel  to  send  me  to  fourteen  yeahs  at  Portland. ' ' 

"  You  would  have  sent  my  husband  to  it,"  I  broke  in, 
angrily,  confronting  him. 

"  What  ?  You,  too,  Miss  Cayley  ?— I  mean  Mrs.  Tilling- 
ton.     Don't  look  at  me  like  that.     Tigahs  are  n't  in  it." 

His  jauntiness  disarmed  us.  However  wicked  he  might 
be,  one  felt  it  would  be  ridiculous  to  imprison  this  schoolboy. 
A  sound  flogging  and  a  month's  deprivation  of  wine  and 
cigarettes  was  the  obvious  punishment  designed  for  him  by 
nature. 

"  You  must  go  down  to  the  police-court  and  confess  this 
whole  conspiracy,"  Lady  Georgina  went  on  after  a  pause,  as 
sternly  as  she  was  able.  "  I  prefer,  if  we  can,  to  save  the 
family — even  you,  Bertie.  But  I  can't  any  longer  save  the 
family  honour— I  can  only  save  Harold's.  You  must  help 
me  to  do  that  ;  and  then,  you  must  give  me  your  solemn 
promise — in  writing — to  leave  England  for  ever,  and  go  to 
live  in  South  Africa." 

He  stroked  the  invisible  moustache  more  nervously  than 
before.  That  penalty  came  home  to  him.  "  What,  leave 
England  for  evah  ?  Newmarket — Ascot — the  club — the 
music-halls  !  " 

"  Or  fourteen  years'  imprisonment  !  " 

"  Georgey,  you  spank  as  hard  as  evah  !  " 

"  Decide  at  once,  or  we  arrest  you  !  " 

He  glanced  about  him  feebly.  I  could  see  he  was  longing 
for  his  lost  confederate.  "  Well,  I  '11  go,"  he  said  at  last, 
sobering  down  ;  "  and  your  solicitaw  can  trot  round  with  me. 


342  Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 

I  '11  do  all  that  you  wish,  though  I  call  it  most  unfriendly. 
Hang  it  all,  fourteen  yeahs  would  be  so  beastly  unpleasant!  " 

We  drove  forthwith  to  the  proper  authorities,  who,  on 
hearing  the  facts,  at  once  arranged  to  accept  Lord  South- 
minster  and  White  as  Queen's  evidence,  neither  being  the  ac- 
tual forger.  We  also  telegraphed  to  Paris  to  have  Higginson 
arrested,  Lord  vSouthminster  giving  us  up  his  assumed  name 
with  the  utmost  cheerfulness,  and  without  one  moment's 
compunction.  Mr.  Hayes  was  quite  right  :  each  conspirator 
was  only  too  ready  to  save  himself  by  betraying  his  fellows. 
Then  we  drove  on  to  Bow  Street  (Lord  Southminster  con- 
soling himself  with  a  cigarette  on  the  way),  just  in  time  for 
Harold's  case,  which  was  to  be  taken,  by  special  arrange- 
ment, at  3.30. 

A  very  few  minutes  sufficed  to  turn  the  tables  completely 
on  the  conspirators.  Harold  was  discharged,  and  a  warrant 
was  issued  for  the  arrest  of  Higginson,  the  actual  forger. 
He  had  drawn  up  the  false  will  and  signed  it  with  Mr. 
Ashurst's  name,  after  which  he  had  presented  it  for  Lord 
Southminster's  approval.  The  pea-green  young  man  told 
his  tale  with  engaging  frankness.  "  Bertie  's  a  simple 
Simon,"  Lady  Georgina  commented  to  me  ;  "  but  he  's  also 
a  rogue  ;  and  Higginson  saw  his  way  to  make  excellent 
capital  of  him  in  both  capacities — first  use  him  as  a  catspaw, 
and  then  blackmail  him." 

On  the  steps  of  the  police-court,  as  we  emerged  triumph- 
antly. Lord  Southminster  met  us — still  radiant  as  ever.  He 
seemed  wholly  unaware  of  the  depths  of  his  iniquity;  a  fresh 
dose  of  brandy  had  restored  his  composure.  "  Look  heah," 
he  said,  "  Harold,  your  wife  has  bested  me  !  Jolly  good  thing 
for  you  that  you  managed  to  get  hold  of  such  a  clevah  wo- 


Thj  Unprofessional  Detective 


man!  If  you  had  n't,  deah  boy,  you  'd  have  found  yourself 
in  Queeah  Street  !  But  I  say,  Lois — I  call  yah  Lois  because 
you  're  my  cousin  now,  yah  know — you  were  backing  the 


HAROLD,  YOUR    WIKE   HAS   I^F.STED   ME!" 


wrong  man  aftah  all,  as  I  told  yah.  For  if  you  'd  backed 
me,  all  this  would  n't  have  come  out  ;  you  'd  have  got  the 
tin  and  been  a  countess  as  well,  aftah  the  governah  's  dead 
and  gone,  don't  yah  see.     You  'd  have  landed  the  double 


344 


Miss  Cayley's  Adventures 


event.  So  j'oii  'd  have  pulled  off  a  bettah  thing  for  yourself 
in  the  end,  as  I  said,  if  you  'd  laid  your  bottom  doUah  on 
me  for  winnah  !  " 

Higginson  is  now  doing  fourteen  years  at  Portland  ; 
Harold  and  I  are  happy  in  the  sweetest  place  in  Gloucester- 
shire ;  and  Lord  Southminster,  blissfully  unaware  of  the 
contempt  with  which  the  rest  of  the  world  regards  him,  is 
shooting  big  game  among  his  "boys"  in  South  Africa. 
Indeed,  he  bears  so  little  malice  that  he  sent  us  a  present  of 
a  trophy  of  horns  for  our  hall  last  winter. 

THE   END 


IRew  fiction* 


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